Tinder, in a nutshell: see a few postage stamp-sized photos of potential suitors, decide whether to give said suitors the yea or nay based on his or her photos and some meager details about mutual friends and interests, and, if a reciprocal match is found, commence a creepy correspondence through messaging.

No, thanks.

However, there is an answer for collegiettes whose idea of an online dating app doesn’t involve finding a suitor based predominantly on his or her looks. Welcome to the latest dating app, TrintMe, that allows you to “take the next step without the fear of rejection, embarrassment or spoiling a relationship.” The site was created by Babson College graduate VS Joshi and got its start through the Babson College Venture Accelerator program. After winning the Big Idea Competition, TrintMe took off, taking the world of online dating apps by storm.

Instead of other virtual dating apps whose dating pools are composed of (potentially creepy) strangers, TrintMe allows you to progress your relationship with people you already know – but without the risk of rejection. With a wider range of possibilities—besides, you know, hooking up—TrintMe allows you to do everything from build new friendships to kindle new romances, and it helps take the anxiety out of taking that next step. It considers itself a “friendship progression application,” as it helps give your relationship that desired boost you may not be bold enough to make.

How does it work, you ask? Once you register with the site, TrintMe will provide you with a list of your Facebook friends and an array of  “trints,” or “true intentions,” to select from: “you’re cool,” “let’s talk,” “coffee,” “let’s hang out,” “romance,” or “hook-up.” The trints you select for each friend are saved on TrintMe and remain private. The app then identifies people’s matched intentions for one another, privately notifying both parties if a match is made. If a true intention is unmatched, it’s deleted after 30 days, remaining your (and TrintMe’s) little secret.

With unmatched intentions never revealed, what’s there to lose? TrintMe could help you find finally connect with that hottie you’ve been checking out from the apartment above you (who might have had his eye on you all along!) Unlike its competitors, this dating app is an entirely judgment-free zone – now there’s something we could get used to! 

The average person has 28 first kisses. Imagine that you’re the girl who has had 100 kisses and counting. Guys know who you are, they know what you do (they hope you will do them), and they think you are “down for anything.” Your first kisses didn’t start until age 15 but have gone to the extreme since you started college as a naive little freshman. You’ve earned yourself the not-so-great label of S-L-U-T and are programmed into several guys’ phones as “call for a good time.” Who knew college could turn an inexperienced, goody two-shoes girl like you into a complete hook-up fiend?

This is reality for some collegiettes™. We go overboard during welcome week freshman year and make out with multiple boys on the same night. Think sloppy, drunken PDAs at sweaty, overcrowded frat parties—not exactly the kind of romantic first kiss you’d see in the movies. This behavior continues throughout freshmen year, and, before these girls know it, we aren’t only kissing guys we just met, but we are also going to bed with them.

Most girls grow out of this “freedom to f—k” stage as freshman year comes to a close, but others still live for the rush and fall head over heels in lust with Every. Single. Guy. The numbers rack up, and hooking up becomes a habit. Tucked safely somewhere in these girls’ dorm rooms are diaries recounting their sexual escapades. The stories range from the oh-so-passionate, “I’m hot, you’re hot; I’m drunk, you’re drunk; let’s kiss,” mentioned above to a roll around in the sheets with a guy who makes them feel like a complete sex goddess (until the morning-after walk of shame).

Before you write these girls off as complete “sluts”, hear me out: girls have needs, too. Where else can you have one-night stands, new guys every night of the week, and FWBs who take you out to breakfast to meet their friends? Nowhere except college, of course. Her Campus and college girls just like you open up their own diaries and share some (good, bad and funny) hook-up highlights according to label.

Friends with Benefits (FWB)

The familiar, seemingly perfect, no-strings-attached sex setup. Imagine this: you’re hanging out with a friend when you suddenly notice his eyes are the color of the sea, and his body is something you’d like to see sans clothes. You decide to make a move, and, before you know it, you’re casually hooking up with said friend on a regular basis. You make it clear from the start that you’ll simply use each other for sex and keep all lovey-dovey feelings aside (yeah, right). FWBs always seem like such a great idea until the benefits and the friendship are gone.

A Look Inside Tara’s* Diary

• Name: Frank
• How we met: Middle school
• Base: Third
• Status: Ongoing
• Time Frame: Two months
• Good: He is smokin’ hot and good in bed.
• Bad: I think I ruined our friendship and chance of dating by hopping into bed with him too soon.
• Funny: I drunkenly told him I always get what I want and made him drive me home at 5 a.m. the first time we hooked up.

“I think FWB is bad because since you start out friends, there are already feelings involved. By adding the benefits, it means that one or both of the parties has romantic feelings of some kind. If not, you wouldn’t want the benefits. In the end, someone is going to get hurt, and the friendship usually won’t last.” –Tara

Booty Call

The person to call late at night when you want a good lay. This is someone whom you’ve probably encountered a time or two before and wondered what he’d be like in bed. What better time to “test the waters” than at 2 a.m. when you’re drunk, bored and lonely? The bars are closed, and your roomies are snuggling getting freaky with their significant others, so you send a generic, “what’s up?” or, “come over and watch a movie,” text to that hot guy you exchanged numbers with last weekend. If the odds are in your favor, he’ll come pick you up from where you’re at, walk you back to his place or yours (whichever you choose), and the two of you will have mind-blowing sex. Chances are, though, the odds won’t be in your favor.

A Look Inside Marina’s* Diary

• Name: Mark
• How we met: Frat party
• Base: Home run
• Status: Away for summer
• Time Frame: One month
• Good: He carried me over a puddle. What can I say? I love being carried—it makes me feel taken care of. And I was wearing high heels.
• Bad: He’s not the best looking guy in the bunch.
• Funny: He texted me, “bang?” late at night. So much for being subtle…

“Booty calls are great if all you want is a guy to sleep with as the night comes to a close. If you want more than sex, things can get messy.” –Marina 

[pagebreak]

Hook-up Buddies

The difference between this and FWB is that there is likely no friendship involved, just sex. You can call your hook-up buddy any night of the week, and he will be there to make you feel good. The two of you can try out crazy new sex positions or hop into bed for a quickie. No expensive dinners, awkward conversations or expectations—as long as he’s STD-free, you are welcome to hook up as you please.

A Look Inside Lisa’s* Diary

• Name: Devin aka Dev Dev 
• How we met: I was at the bar, and he was the bartender. We made those “I want you” eyes, and he gave me his number on the bill. We started dating until things got weird. Then we became f—k buddies. We get together twice a month, and…. you know!  
• Base: Home run 
• Status: Ongoing, over, etc. ... ongoing 
• Time Frame: One year  
• Good: He’s older, experienced, and lives on his own. 
• Bad: He lies a lot and was previously engaged. He’s also slightly odd and a complete momma’s boy. He wanted me to meet the parents during the first week. YIKES! 
• Funny: He sang to me on our first date. I should have run away then.

“I think that hook-up buddies, although fun, are a bad idea unless both parties involved understand the boundaries and what type of relationship it is. If one of the two starts getting feelings or is ever confused on what they are, it turns into a bad idea. So, overall, I feel like it’s a bad idea.”-Lisa

One-Night Stand

Just like it sounds: one night of fun and games. Think of it as the spontaneous girl’s hook-up of choice. You meet a guy at the bar and go home with him. There’s very little conversation involved, but a lot of pleasure. As long as you are both DTF, things can’t go wrong, or can they? You enjoy yourself and hook up like you haven’t gotten any action in months. Then, you wake up. And sober up. Reality hits, regret fills your mind, and you hurry out of there, never to hear from this guy again. No one gets hurt unless you hope for a “multiple-night stand” (as I like to call it) and desperately text, call, chat this guy until it’s clear that he wants nothing to do with you.

A Look Inside Scarlett’s* Diary

• Name: Paul
• How we met: Bar
• Base: Home run
• Status: I’ll probably never see him again, although I’d like to.
• Time Frame: One night
• Good: He wrapped his arms around me, held my hand and made me feel special.
• Bad: He wouldn’t wake up and help me find my clothes the next morning.
• Funny: I called him the wrong name in the morning.

“One night stands can be great if you're truly not invested in the guy and just want to let loose for a night. If you're looking for a commitment or are the type of girl that gets get attached to a guy really easily after a night together, it should be the LAST thing you do.”-Scarlett

Fake Dating

This is the gray area between hooking up and dating. It happens when a hook-up buddy crosses boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed, and soon you are asking yourself, “What are we?” This can get dangerous because the guy says he isn’t looking for a relationship but then acts like he is. He makes it clear that he doesn’t want any commitments but also recommends that you both don’t hook up with anyone else. No commitments? Exclusivity? I’m confused. When the guy kisses you on the cheek and texts you out of the blue, you’re in too deep. This is no longer just a hook-up. You will be blinded by the attention and affection he gives you and won’t want the weeknight sleepovers and Saturday morning chill-fests to end. But they will, so get out now before his actions meet his words and he breaks your heart.

A Look Inside Erin’s* Diary

• Name: Joe
• How we met: House party
• Base: Home run
• Status: Steady then all of a sudden over
• Timeframe: 1 1/2 months
• Good: His “charm-filled” façade and weeknight wine/cuddle parties.
• Bad: His crude comments and admitting to me that he only wanted to hook up when he wanted after keeping me around as his play toy for over a month.
• Funny: He brought me a microwave waffle and a Popsicle in bed as a late-night snack.

“Hook-ups usually occur when people are drunk, and they are just dumb. If a guy really likes you, he will talk to you and take it slowly. One-night stands are really dumb. You should get to know the person way better.”-Erin

There you have it—the different types of hook-ups through the lives of girls who kiss and tell. As you can see, be careful when you hook up, and make sure you and the boy are both on the same page. There’s a fine line between hook-up buddies and dating, and you don’t want to get stuck in the middle. Are you, yourself, a hook-up fiend? Tell us the good, the bad and the funny of your hook-ups. Somewhere at a campus near you, there’s another collegiette™ looking to share the juicy little details of her hook-up life. Just make sure no real names are attached…

Sources

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8HIi7Cjro8
* Names have been changed for privacy reasons 

You’ve packed away your winter clothes and brought out your summer wardrobe—but what do guys think of your favorite 2013 trends? We surveyed a sample of college guys to find out which of your summer styles will make him hot and bothered, and which looks you should put the freeze on. Here are eight sizzling summer trends and what guys have to say about them.

Short Shorts or High-Waisted Shorts

When it comes to short shorts, all of our guys approved of this timeless trend, but with a few guidelines. Most of the guys agreed that if you are going to go short, the shorts should flatter your figure. They also recommended that the shorts be short enough to flaunt what you got, but not so short that they reveal everything. “Look good, but keep it classy,” says Zach Fischer, a sophomore at Point Park University.

The same goes for high-waisted shorts, too. Eighty percent of the guys surveyed thought this trend was stylish, especially on girls with long, lean, and toned legs. “They are attractive on girls that have nice legs but they don’t have the same effect on girls who aren’t in the best shape,” says Nik Zaphiris, a sophomore at Purdue University.

On the other hand, there were some objections to this fad. Nick Colao, a junior at Gannon University, doesn’t like that this trend is making a comeback. “High-waisted? Is this the 90s?” he says.

Crop Tops

What’s a pair of high-waisted shorts without a nice crop top to go with it? Crop tops are the perfect way to show a little skin without revealing your entire torso. All of the guys we surveyed approved of this trend, but they were picky about what exactly is the appropriate occasion to don these shortened shirts.

“They’re very summery. I picture them at an outdoor barbecue or a picnic or something like that,” says Charlie Lambert, a sophomore at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. “In my opinion, if you are indoors, your stomach should be covered, like in class or at a bar or restaurant.”

Zach likes crop tops because they maintain a good balance between classy and racy. “It’s an attractive look. It shows some skin, but not in a sl*tty way,” he says.

Ryan McGlynn, a sophomore at Syracuse University, agrees that crop tops can be fun and flirty without being too seductive. “They seem chill and comfortable rather than some tight, constricting shirt,” says Ryan.

The boys did set some boundaries on this look, however. “Some girls can pull them off, but then again, some can’t,” says Nick. “If you are tan and have a nice, thin torso, the crop tops can look really good.”

Big Sunglasses

Oversized sunglasses have been trendy ever since Paris Hilton began sporting them a few years ago, and it doesn’t look like they’ll be going anywhere anytime soon. Sixty percent of our guys gave oversized sunglasses their stamp of approval. All of those who disapproved said that the large lenses made it seem like the girls had something to hide on their faces, or that they lacked confidence.

“I think huge sunglasses are pretty obnoxious. They were a fad in the past but now they just look stupid,” says Ben Uhing, a sophomore at Syracuse University. “A nice pair of Ray-Ban aviators looks a lot better than sunglasses that cover three-quarters of your face.”

Zach agrees. “Most of the time they look pretty stupid because they hide most of the face… and do you really need sunglasses that big?” he says.

If you decide to downsize, however, don’t go too far—guys don’t seem to like that, either. “If you buy them too small, you’ll look like an idiot,” Nick says. So, collegiettes, the lesson here is that you can’t please everybody, so go with what looks best on your face.

Gladiator Sandals

These strappy shoes that channel ancient Roman warriors have become popular over the last few years because of their summery feel. The guys we surveyed were split 50/50 on whether they thought this trend was flirty or costumey. But this bold statement piece can sometimes be overwhelming if worn with the wrong outfit, and our guys have noticed.

“They are a very complicated piece, so sometimes they can over-complicate the outfit,” says Nick.

Charlie agrees: “I like some of the sandals with the straps, but gladiator ones are too much for me. Plus, I always think of Persian women in them.”

However, Ryan McGlynn, a sophomore at Syracuse University, thinks otherwise. “These are the first things I think of when I think of girls’ style,” he says. “I’ve always liked them; I just think they are cool compared to flip-flops.”

[pagebreak]

Maxi Dresses

Eighty-three percent of the guys preferred short dresses to maxi dresses for the summertime. Few had a problem with how maxi dresses looked, but they didn’t see them being practical in the summer heat. “In the summer, I’m sure girls are not trying to wear full-length dresses,” says Chris. “It’s way too hot for that.”

Nick also says that he thinks girls should dress for the weather. “I prefer girls in shorter dresses, but they can be tighter or looser based on the summer heat,” he says.

Chris wasn’t a fan of how maxi dresses look.  “The floor length dresses look like something a nun would wear to mass,” he says.

Ben thought that this style wasn’t very age-appropriate. “I prefer short dresses,” he says. “A maxi dress is fine if you’re 40 and taking your kids to soccer practice, but if you’re trying to impress a guy, a shorter dress is the way to do it.”

Zach felt that maxi dresses were a little over the top, but Nick and Charlie agreed that they worked for informal, laid back events. “I love them,” says Charlie. “I think they’re fancy but not too fancy, and appropriate for a lot of occasions. They’re also very flattering; they’re like the summer version of yoga pants.”

Neon Clothing

All the guys we surveyed say that neon clothing is acceptable, just as long as it’s not overdone. “Wearing neon colors can go two ways. You have to be careful not to overdo it. It’s okay for certain parties, like an ‘80s themed party, but don’t wear it too much all of the time,” says Nick. “Making it a regular thing is weird. One neon item is good, especially when you wear it with simple clothes.”

Charlie also thinks that neon apparel is only appropriate in certain situations. “A girl in neon at an outdoor party or concert is okay. I feel like girls’ neon [clothing] is [the] equivalent of a lax pinnie,” he says. “I don’t think its something [to wear] on a day-to-day basis.”

Mismatched Prints

Mixing different prints in a single outfit is definitely an art that takes some practice, but many collegiettes have been experimenting with this trend with great fashion success. This style provoked some interesting reactions from our guys. All of them were a little taken aback by this foreign concept, and didn’t understand why anyone would think to put those combinations together.

“It reminds me of what a five year old would wear the first time they got to pick their own clothes,” says Zach. “It’s just too much going on there.”

Nick agreed that mixing prints has the potential to cause quite the visual commotion. “That would be ugly; there’s way too much going on,” he says. “It’s a distraction, and I don’t know what to look at.”

Ryan says that this trend confused him. “Personally, I like things to match, and they are purposely putting together things that don’t go well together and clash, so the look just doesn’t flow,” he says.

Patriotic Apparel

The American flag has been sneaking into the fashion world for the past year now, appearing on everything from sweaters to hats to shoes to shorts. Whether or not it’s a holiday like the Fourth of July or Memorial Day, you can find collegiettes representing their country any day of the week through their fashion choices. All of the guys we surveyed gave this trend their stamp of approval, but they agreed that it can only be worn under certain circumstances.

“It’s only good for day parties, like at a frat. But not to the bars; that’s a little weird,” says Nick. “It’s especially good for holidays that are associated with America in the summer, like Memorial Day, the Fourth of July, and Labor Day.”

Ryan also liked this trend, but agreed that it was only for certain occasions. “It’s just like the neon—I think it’s pretty random if it’s not an American-themed event or a country concert, but it works well in the summer,” says Ryan.

Charlie says he loves the American flag trend at outdoor events. “I think it’s different and summery and happy, and a little patriotism is good every now and then,” he says.

Chris was especially enthusiastic about this trend. “I love a girl who is patriotic. Good, old-fashioned American girls is what we need in a world full of hipsters and leggings,” he says. “American flag jean shorts, swimsuits, and tank tops are my personal favorites.”

While college guys aren’t always style-savvy, they do take notice of what you wear in the summer. However, our survey proved that guys have varied opinions about our favorite trends, and you can’t please all of them—so wear what you love!

Maybe it ended when you decided on colleges on opposite sides of the country; maybe it ended because someone cheated; maybe it ended in a blow up fight at prom; maybe it was on-again-off-again until you actually got to college, and then decided to remain off; maybe it dragged out in the form of a tearful goodbye in the airport as you headed off to school; maybe it never even lasted beyond sophomore year. But even so, memories of high school exes – many of whom, perhaps, were some collegiettes’ very first significant others – don’t just slip away as easily as we may like them to. And of course, they get even harder to forget come May, when being home for the summer means being in very close range to your ex. At one point or another, an interaction of some nature will take place – and because of the high likelihood that this situation will become horrendously awkward, Her Campus is here to offer some advice on how to ease the tension.

Whatever you do, don’t hook up with him.

Sure, it’s an obvious one. But it’s not always one we can completely stop thinking about. “Oh, he looks really good. And his sense of humor is just as I remembered it. He’s really cute.” If such is your train of thought at the first sight of your high school love, take hold of those hormones – and emotions? – and resist falling back into your pattern of attraction. It will only confuse you and mess with both of your heads. Hooking up brings back the physical part of your past relationship, but leaves the emotional parts pretty ambiguous. Without giving yourselves the chance to get on the same emotional level, you’ll create room for hurt and confusion. Jenni, Bucknell University ‘12, recalls, “When I came home, we would see each other and sometimes hook up. In hindsight, I wish that I hadn't spent any time with him at all after we broke up.”

…Right. So, you probably shouldn’t see him at all.

…Unless you can manage to ease the tension to the point where there is none. Perhaps you guys are fine together in a group setting and can have a decent conversation. If you’ve kept in touch fairly well, things might not be weird at all come summertime. Certainly, remaining friends with your high school ex isn’t impossible – but it requires clear intentions from both of you. Make it known what you want out of a relationship with him, whether it’s just friends or a little more than that. Whatever it is, be sure that it’s mutual and that you’re on the same page.

But if things are a little bit more one-sided or uncertain, it might be best to resist talking to him beyond a friendly hello. For Jenni, “seeing him (and hooking up with him) over breaks always made it hard to remember why we had broken up, and as a result I wasn't able to fully move on for a long time. My advice for girls who are trying to get over their exes is to NOT see them when they are at home over break - I know it's easier said than done because everything at home reminds you of him, but in the long run you'll be grateful that you were able to get over him and move on.” At parties, stay close to your girlfriends and guys-who-are-friends to avoid one-on-ones with him. If he reaches out via text or phone call to suggest that you start things up again, explain that you’re not interested in getting involved again.

To do this, remind yourself why it didn’t work the first time.

Remember how prom became a disaster because you spent the entire night fighting? Remember how much it hurt when he said he wanted to break up so he could have his “freedom” in college? Right. There were (good) reasons your relationship ended the first time – not to mention that you’ve grown a lot since then. Love expert and Professor of Psychiatry at NYU School of Medicine Dr. Irene Levine, Ph. D, advises, “If you start having feelings for him again, remind yourself why you broke up with him, and the advantages of leaving yourself open to a new start at college. You also don’t want to hurt this person you once cared for by acting ambivalently.” The ending of that relationship propelled you and transformed you into the collegiette that you are. Accept that ending, and move past the “what if” sentiment.

[pagebreak]

And if all else fails, cut ties completely.

If you don’t like the way things are going when you see him for the first few times, it’s understandable to avoid him completely. That means not answering texts, making sure he won’t be at any gatherings you’re attending… and maybe even un-friending him on Facebook (GASP!) if you find yourself dwelling on him too often. Kelsey, Boston University ‘14, says, “My ex-boyfriend is on the top of my ‘worst people in the world’ list. So you can imagine my surprise when he texted me last summer trying to be my friend. Although I did consider it for a few days, just because we had known each other for so long, I eventually told him that I don't want to be his friend or hear from him again. Though I hate burning bridges with people, I simply wasn't happy when he was contacting me post-breakup.” Now that you’ve established your own post-high school life, there’s no real need to keep your ex involved in it. If anything, it’ll become awkward when conversation gets too personal – the last thing you want is to talk to your high school ex about this new guy you’ve been hooking up with.

Levine certainly sees eye-to-eye with these collegiettes. To avert tension while interacting with your ex over the summer, she suggests “feigning being busy, which very well might be the case if your ex wants to get together. If you see him in groups, act cordially, but don’t give him the mistaken impression that you want to rekindle the romance. You might want to let your BFF know so that you can cozy up to her if he approaches.” Whether you run into him unexpectedly or are forced to avert a “let’s hang out” text, it’s important to be clear about your intentions and honest about your feelings. Forget the re-hash and make sure your high school memories remain just that – everything from your ex, to the fight you had at the prom and to the dress you wore to it... put it all in the past and prepare yourself for a summer of new beginnings.

Need polite, concise, pop culture-laden answers to your guy problems? Our Real Live College Guy Joey (not to be confused with our other Real Live College Guy, Joe) will answer any and all questions about relationships and that ever-elusive beast, the male species, with thoughtfulness and (fingers-crossed) humor.
 
1. I have a crush on my best friend; problem is he has a girlfriend. He knows that I like him yet he is still flirty. What does this mean?
     -Crushing at Colorado

Dear CC, first things first… Stay away from this dude if there is a possibility of something occurring—focus on my pointed look—while he’s still attached. You need to understand that guys’ and girls’ opinions of relationships frequently differ; he may see it as harmless to flirt with other girls while still remaining in a relationship. His girlfriend probably doesn’t. If anything other than that were to happen, you will take the fall. No questions asked. As much as you may like him, as much as he may flirt back: the end of the story (for now) is that he’s in a relationship, and until that changes you have no future with this guy outside of a solid, if flirtatious, friendship.I won’t even begin to deduce whether this man-beast may “like” you, or if he’s only being flirtatious—although,if he doesn’t have plans to break it off with his girlfriend, it’s probably the latter. If his flirtatious behavior is really bothering you, you owe it to your friendship to talk to him.  Explain that his behavior’s become confusing and could he please figure out his priorities before bringing you into them? Muchas Gracias, Senor.

2. Hi! So recently I have been noticing little signs that my best guy friend may like me as more than a friend. I'm not sure if I like him back, but I want to know for sure. What should I do? How can I tell if his actions are normal friend behavior or him actually liking me?
     -Perplexed at Pomona

I really can’t answer this that well, PP, because you yourself don’t even know your feelings with this guy. If I understand correctly, you’re unsure if you like this particular man-beast… But you don’t want to do anything about it unless you know for sure that he likes you back. Right? If so, this is hardly a promising foundation for a relationship. It sounds to my tender (hard), warm (cold) heart that you are just interested in the attention he’s offering. Brutal? Yes. True? Probably. And, if that’s the case, it’s healthier to hold out for someone you genuinely like. There’s no reason to convince yourself you like some guy solely because he offers you a few morsels of attention. However, if I’m totally wrong and you are genuinely interested in him, pick his brain on why he isn’t in a relationship. Ask him some questions; figure out what he wants in a girl. If he seems to be hinting at someone like you, bite the bullet and ask him out. With the future of your friendship on the horizon, you have to be the arbiter of judgment. I think the more important part of your question is the “I’m not sure if I like him back,” and, if that’s the case…There’s no point in making a friendship awkward until you’re sure.
 
[pagebreak]
3. I have been hooking up with this kid for a few months on and off but usually only on weekends when we are both drunk. Whenever we try to talk in person soberly he seems awkward and like a totally different person than the guy that I was just with the weekend before. I have to make all the conversation and it leaves me feeling uncomfortable especially because of how well we get along usually. What is the deal? Why can't he communicate with me soberly?
     -Sober at Sienna

Sadly, SS, this is a common enough case. When guys get to college, a lot of times they rely too much on alcohol to boost their courage when approaching the opposite sex. Alcohol is an easy way to get over any possible insecurity, and with that loss of inhibitions comes a more wayward way of interacting. I’m sure that he’s interested in you, I’m also sure that he’s just as nervous as you are outside of the confines of drunk parties. To combat these insecurities, try and arrive at a party early one weekend. You’ll have the chance to interact with others around—so there isn’t that aforementioned uncomfortable silence—and you’ll also have the chance to interact without being too drunk. If that isn’t a sure thing (i.e.,he may already be drunk) why don’t you suggest he have dinner with you and your friends beforehand, the friends can act as a buffer while you two get the chance to know each other outside of a “party” atmosphere. It’s important that he knows you’re just as nervous as he is. Now, you don’t need to tell him that exactly, but keep in mind that the feelings are entirely mutual. If you really think you might like this guy, then keep trying to push down that discomfort of his through continued dialogue. 

4. Joey, my boyfriend and I got accepted to the same college, an Ivy League, and we think (?) we will be together forever, but what do you think? Will our relationship get old fast or would it be better for us to take a "break' and then come to each other if it's real?
     -High School Sweetheart

HSS, I’m not a part of your relationship… So I can’t really offer a specific, examined position on the future of your relationship. You’ll still be in close to proximity to one another, so distance won’t be an issue. That’s certainly one mark in your favor. College is a difficult time for high school relationships, though. People change drastically over four years, they find out who they really are and what they really want. There’s honestly no possible way to know how these changes will affect your own relationship. The important thing to remember is that a “break” won’t help you, the realization that college is no second version of high school will. You’ll have different friends and social circles, and that’s okay. As long as you realize that you’re both bound to change, your relationship should have a greater chance of succeeding than if you were to try and remain the same people you were while in high school. However, as idiotic (or lame) as it may sound, if it is meant to be, it will be. There’s really no use stressing about theoretical problemas.
 

Movies constantly portray unrealistic scenarios, especially where romance is concerned. Full of seemingly flawless relationships and romantic clichés, romance movies often leave us wondering where exactly our perfect, big screen Prince Charming has been all our lives.

But before you let frustration take over and write off romance movies completely, go back through some old flicks and take a good, hard look. Hollywood has come up with movies that teach you true lessons about love, whether they have happy or sad endings. Read on for your list of romance movies that are accurate and true to life!

1. (500) Days of Summer

The Plot

Greeting card artist Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) sees beautiful, quirky Summer (Zooey Deschanel) in a classic tale of boy-meets-girl. But from there, the story takes a turn once we realize that while Tom believes in love, Summer denies that it exists. What begins as a whirlwind romance gradually fades away as Tom realizes that his love for Summer isn’t mutual, and that he could very well lose who he thought was The One.

Love Lesson Learned

As much as we wish that every person who falls for someone gets the guy or gal, the truth is that feelings aren’t always reciprocated. At the time, unrequited love may feel like the worst possible thing to happen to you, but remember that not getting the guy you fall for isn’t the end of the world. There’s always someone out there who will feel the same way for you as you do for them, so don’t let one unrequited love bog you down! Plus, that person could appear at the most unexpected time...

2. Bridget Jones’s Diary

The Plot

Meet Bridget Jones (Renée Zellweger): a 30-something, clumsy, slightly chubby woman who is the opposite of every picture-perfect Hollywood star. Worst of all, she’s single. As she dreams about her boss, Daniel (Hugh Grant), Bridget re-meets childhood family friend Mark Darcy (Colin Firth) at a Christmas party. The pair immediately dislike each other in this modern Pride and Prejudice-inspired story. But as time goes on, Bridget discovers that there may be more to Mark than meets the eye in this hilarious but touching romantic comedy.

Love Lesson Learned

Bridget is an ordinary woman who has firsthand experience with a truth about love: you often fall for the most unexpected person! Love is surprising and hard to sort out a lot of the time, especially when you have to choose between your hot boss and a real-life Mr. Darcy (who are duking it out in a public fountain). Choosing Mr. Right is often not easy at all, but the man who you once never even considered could end up being a great guy. So the next time you’re at that family Christmas party, don’t write off that guy standing by the tree in the ugliest sweater you’ve ever seen, because there could be more to him than you think.

3. Like Crazy

The Plot

British exchange student Anna (Felicity Jones) and design student Jacob (Anton Yelchin) meet and fall in love, with Anna eventually overstaying her student visa to be with her new boyfriend. But little did the couple know that the legal fallout from Anna’s decision would keep them apart, complicating things for the couple as they struggle to start new careers post-college. Full of ups and downs, Like Crazy follows a long-distance romance through the years as Anna and Jacob try not only to stay together, but also to decide if their love is worth fighting for.

Love Lesson Learned

In Anna and Jacob’s case, distance, adjusting to post-college life, legal battles, and the possibility of meeting new people were all factors that could break their relationship. Most of those are also factors that take their toll on our real-life relationships, too. No matter whether you’re doing long distance or not, there will always be situations that pop up and threaten your relationship. Love doesn’t necessarily triumph over all, but by working through your issues together with a lot of cool-headed communication, you can definitely get through a lot, especially if you love each other like crazy.

4. Blue Valentine

The Plot

One of the most depressing movies of 2010 was this ill-fated romance between high school dropout Dean (Ryan Gosling) and nurse Cindy (Michelle Williams). Through flashbacks of their romantic past and emotionally-charged scenes of the present, Blue Valentine tells the story of a couple who fell in love, but whose marriage eventually crumbled through the years, leaving all of us watching in a teary mess.

Love Lesson Learned

So what changed, you ask? The truth is that what we want in a relationship changes through the years, and that means that the kind of person we want to be with can change, too. While Dean and Cindy were perfect for each other when they first met, they both became very different people after a few years. Sometimes, both you and your boyfriend will change in ways that still complement each other, but sometimes you’ll grow apart. In the end, we’re all still growing up, which means that what we want can be very different at each given time.

5. My Best Friend’s Wedding

The Plot

Julianne (Julia Roberts) and Michael (Dermot Mulroney) are two best friends with a pact to marry each other if they’re both single once they turn 28. But, three weeks before her 28th birthday, Julianne learns that Michael is marrying Kimberly (Cameron Diaz), news that makes her realize that she has loved Michael all along. And so Julianne flies off to Chicago, keen on sabotaging Michael’s marriage and winning him for herself instead.

Love Lesson Learned

Sometimes, you just have to let go. It doesn’t matter if you think you’re the best person for somebody; it might be best to back away and let the other person decide how they feel for themselves. While it’s true that Julianne was a great best friend to Michael, she eventually had to understand that although Michael had loved her in the past, he now loved Kimberly. Other peoples’ decisions may not align with your wants, but keep in mind that a lot of the time, letting go gives you room for new beginnings and a new shot at happiness!

See, movies can still be real and not trick you where romance is concerned! So in the end, don’t get too bogged down by those giant Hollywood-created fairy tales where everything is too perfect to be true, because there are flicks out there for you to learn real love lessons from.

Name: Frankie Lewington
Year in School: Senior
Major: Planning, Public Policy and Management (also commonly known as 3PM)
Hometown: Salinas, CA

What is the most random movie you’ve ever cried over?
E.T. It was when I was younger and I didn’t want him to go home!

What song or band has been on repeat lately on your iPod?
Seeing as how their concert was the other night and I went to it, I've had Passion Pit on repeat a lot lately. And I’ve actually also been listening to the hip-hop band Cocaine 80's “Queen to Be” song.

If you were to be a connoisseur of something, what would it be?
Coffee or beer. Coffee, because I got into it since I became a barista. I really like the Eugene culture with the breweries and café’s that are popping up, but don’t mistake me for a hipster. And beer because, I mean, why not beer?

What are you involved in on campus?
I’m a leadership development coordinator for the Climate Justice League. We tackle environmental issues on campus. Right now we’re looking into putting a native plant garden on the Millrace. I’m also involved with Alpha Phi Omega (APO) – a community service fraternity. We do service events around campus and in the community and I've gotta do a shameless plug…you all should join!

What do you find fulfilling and inspiring in life?
The long hair/don't care, black rim glasses and PBR kinda attitude (just kidding). On a more serious note, I get really passionate about helping people. One of the service events we have at APO is tutoring at LCC downtown, and it’s a range of kids from elementary school to high school. I’ve helped a girl with her reading and writing skills and it’s a good feeling knowing that you’re actually making a difference. I like interacting with kids too so that makes it fun.

If you won the lottery tomorrow, what would you spend your money on?
I’d pay off my tuition and then I’d take a trip to the land down under. Seriously, I'd go to Australia. I’d basically just want to travel around the world.

What has changed about you since high school? For better AND for worse?
For better – I speak my mind more. For worse -- I don’t play basketball as much as I’d like to, just because I hardly ever have time.

What is the quirkiest thing about you?
My sense of humor because I like telling jokes that have a play on words. Sometimes they're clever -- at least I think so -- but sometimes they're not, and my friends don't always understand them.

In a past life, what do you think you would have been?
I’d probably have been a pirate, because I have some pretty good pirate jokes.

What scares you?
Iguanas! They freak the s**t outta me!

Best way to spend your Friday night?
Depends on my mood. I like going out with friends. I’m also down to just chill and hang out and watch a movie. I just like to be around good people.

How about your Sunday morning?
First I’d go on a run. Then I'd make a nice breakfast and a hot cup of coffee.

Describe the secret hideaway place you like to escape to on campus when you’re by yourself.
My favorite place on campus is behind Lawrence Hall, between Lawrence and Deady. There are a lot of trees and not a lot of people are there. So it’s really quiet, which is nice. But a spot I go to actually get schoolwork done is up on the second floor of the AAA library at a table in the corner.

Describe your ideal date night.
We'd definitely go out to dinner. I don’t like too fancy too soon, so I’d keep it a casual dinner at, like, a McMenamin's or Steelhead type of restaurant. I think the best kind of date is planning the first thing and then letting the rest of the night just take it’s own course. To me, that sort of dictates how well it’s going.

We all like someone with a good sense of humor, so let’s hear it; give our HCO readers your best one-liner.
What do you call a fake noodle? …An IMPASTA! Shout out to my Monday-Punday friend for some good material.

What is your biggest turn off?
People who aren’t genuine.

How about your biggest turn on?
A girl with a sense of humor and a nice smile doesn’t hurt.

What is your mini bucket-list for your last term of college this spring?

1. I still need to float the river.
2. I need to buy a joke book from Frog.
3. I need to get a hotdog from the hotdog lady by The Duck Store.

[Photography by Thomas Maloney]

Have you ever had crazy dreams about being serendaded from underneath your window by a guy with a great sense of humor who is interested in politics and looking for a good heart? Campus Cutie Ethan Underhill may just be the one you've been dreaming of...
Name: Ethan Underhill
Year: 2015
Hometown: Merrimack, NH
Relationship Status: Single
Major: Governmen

Describe yourself in 3 words: Humorous, driven, compassionate

What are you most involved in at Conn? Co Co Beaux, the guys a cappella group. We spend way too much time together. I'm also one of the class reps on Conn's Honor Council.

What do you enjoy doing in your free time? Going to the gym, playing guitar, and keeping up with national politics.

Favorite food: Chicken Parm.

What do you look for in a girl? Sense of humor. A good heart and a nice pair of eyes never hurt either.

Blondes or Brunettes? I don't discriminate.

Dream Job: Jed Bartlet.

Favorite movie, book, and musical artist: Saving Private Ryan, The Great Gatsby, and Bruce Springsteen.

Most played song on iTunes? "Thunder Road" by Bruce Springsteen.

What is your favorite childhood memory? Running out of the house naked. Either the fourth or the fifth time.

Most embarrassing moment? Running out of the house naked. Either the sixth or the seventh time.

If you could be in any other place right now, where would it be and why? Martha's Vineyard. I sang with a group there this summer, and life on the beach is far from hard.

If you could only bring 3 things on a deserted island, what would they be? My dog, a sword, and a copy of The Iliad

What's the craziest thing you've ever done for a girl? Totaled my dad's car going to see one. It was an accident if that wasn't clear.

If you could have one super power what would it be? Telepathy. That or just make me Captain America.

How do you feel about being this week’s Campus Cutie? Humbled.

Introducing Matt Rozzana, a second year Creative Writing major, with a gorgeous smile! Sorry ladies, he's taken!

Describe yourself in 3 words: Kind, Thoughtful, and Sarcastic.

Tell me one interesting or weird thing about yourself. 
I watch movies so many times I can recite at least one scene from every movie I've ever seen.

What's your favorite movie? The Wizard of Oz.

And your favorite food? Chicken Parmesan.

So what's the perfect date night for you? Disney movie marathon with In-N-Out.

And what you look for in a partner? Someone with a sense of humor and a drive

And what's the ultimate deal breaker for you? Cheating.

Name: Derek Susalla
Hometown: Bad Axe, MI
Age: 20
Major: Clinical Exercise Science 
Relationship Status: Taken 

If you were stranded on an island, what three things would you bring? 
My girlfriend, wine, and a nice dinner

Boxers or Briefs? 
Depends on the day and event. 

Where is your favorite place to hang out on campus? 
The University Center or University Cup

Blondes or Brunettes? 
A mix

What is the craziest thing you have ever done? 
Lived in a camper for three months. 

What qualities do you admire in the opposite sex? 
Nice teeth/bright smile, good sense of humor, in-shape, and doesn't care what others think.

What is your favorite movie?
The Social Network 

Any awesome or hidden talents?
I can play the acoustic guitar 

What is your ideal or dream date?
A candlelit dinner on the beach during a warm night.

Who is your Hollywood crush? 
Cameron Diaz

Name: Ryan Gallup 
Hometown: Bronson
Age: 20
Major: Criminal Justice        
Relationship Status: Single

If you were stranded on an island, what three things would you bring?
My laptop, a toothbrush, and a picture of my family.

Boxers or Briefs?
Briefs.

Where is your favorite place to hang out on campus?
The RFOC.

Blondes or Brunettes? Brunettes.

What is the craziest thing you have ever done?
Bridge jumping? That’s pretty crazy, right?

What qualities do you admire in the opposite sex?
Good sense of humor, independence, intelligence, and class!

What’s your favorite movie?
The Shawshank Redemption

Any awesome or hidden talents?
 I can solve a Rubik’s cube! I can do a standing backflip and I can do double backflips on a trampoline/diving board!

What is your ideal or dream date?
Going to a nice restaurant for dinner then a concert, of her choice, at night.

Who is your Hollywood crush?
Katy Perry, hands down.

Name:Ben Dudley 
Hometown:  Holt, Michigan
Age: 21
Major: Mechanical Engineering
Relationship Status: Single

If you were stranded on an island, what three things would you bring?
A keg, Carrie Underwood and an endless supply of Chicago-styled hotdogs

Boxers or Briefs? Boxers

Where is your favorite place to hang out on campus?
The UC

Blondes or Brunettes?
Blondes

What is the craziest thing you have ever done?
"I was involved in a high-speed car chase with a gangster."

What qualities do you admire in the opposite sex?
Attractive, good personality, outgoing, good sense of humor, and a nice smile.

What is your favorite movie:
Wedding Crashers

Any awesome or hidden talents:
"I’m pretty good at ping-pong."

What is your ideal or dream date?
Taking a girl out to dinner, then to a country concert, followed by a walk on the beach.

Who is your Hollywood crush?
Jessica Alba

If you were stranded on an island, what three things would you bring? 
1. My dog Cali 2. Buffalo Wild Wings 3. First Aid Kit
Boxers or Briefs? Boxer Briefs
Where is your favorite place to hang out on campus? The Delta Chi House
Blondes or Brunettes? Blondes
What is the craziest thing you have ever done? Road naked on a jet ski
What qualities do you admire in the opposite sex? Their smile and sense of humor
What’s your favorite movie? Savages
What is your ideal or dream date? Taking her out to a nice sushi restaurant then a Red Wings, Tigers, or Lions game.
Who is your Hollywood crush? Jennifer Aniston

Name:Jack Ebby
Hometown: Lower Merion, Pa.
Major: Undecided
Class Year: 2016

The Basics

Favorite Book:  “The Catcher in the Rye” by J.D. Salinger
Favorite Movie:  “Rocky I”
Favorite Store:  Brooks Brothers
Most Played Song on Your iPod:  “The Way You Look Tonight” by Frank Sinatra
Favorite Class at Bucknell: “South Africa: Apartheid & After” with Geoffrey E. Schneider
Campus Activities:  Club soccer, sailing club, bird watching, caf sits
Campus Posse:  Harris 3
General Interests:  Soccer, running, cats, Philadelphia sports, my two dogs, trying to fit in with my family
Little Known Fact:  Grew from 5’0 to 6’2 across my 4 years of high school

Girls, Girls, Girls

Relationship Status: Taken
What You Look for in a Girl:  The looks of Blake Lively and the personality of Liz Lemon
Female Turnoff:  No sense of humor, acting ditsy
Celebrity Crush:  Rashida Jones

Best of the Rest

Proudest accomplishment:  Winning my age group in the Philadelphia Half Marathon
Where You See Yourself in 10 Years:  Beginning my campaign to be the next great Philadelphian US senator for Pennsylvania.
3 Words to Describe Yourself:  Outgoing, loyal, Jewish 

Name: Henry Gadsden
Hometown: Short Hills, New Jersey
Major: Economics & Mathematics
Class Year: 2015

The Basics

Favorite Book: The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
Favorite Movie: Wet Hot American Summer
Favorite Store: Wawa
Most Played Song on your iPod: Live and Die by The Avett Brothers
Favorite Class at Bucknell: Mindful Consumption with Nancy White
Campus Activities: Men's Squash Team, Sigma Phi Epsilon, Orientation
Campus Posse: Mod 9, Sig Ep brothers, Squash Team
General Interests: Music, squash, soccer, the outdoors, hanging with friends
Little Known Fact: I won the 2006 Boys Under 12 New Jersey Regional Badminton Championship.

Girls, Girls, Girls

Relationship: Single
What do you look for in a girl: smart, confident, attractive, good sense of humor
Female turnoff: Bad personality
Celebrity Crush: Olivia Wilde

Best of the Rest

Proudest Accomplishment: Becoming the best club squash team in the country this past winter.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years: On a beach
3 words to describe yourself: Henry Charles Gadsden

Name:Kyle Kelley  
Hometown: Scarborough, ME
Relationship Status: Single
Sign: Taurus

Campus Life
Major: Electrical Engineering Technology 
Favorite thing about UMaine: The Rec Center
Favorite place to eat in Orono: OHOP
Best Class: Human Sexuality 
Worst Class: Calculus II
How do you like to spend your weekends here: Going to hockey games and relaxing with friends

Miscellaneous
What is on your ipod's top rated: She's Country- Jason Aldean
Boxers or Briefs: Briefs
An embarrassing confession: Still loves animated movies 
Ski or Snowboard: Ski
Salty or Sweet: Salty
Dream job: Relief pitcher in the MLB
Favorite Guilty Pleasure: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups 
Three words to describe yourself: Funny, goofy, Smart

Favorites
Favorite Barstool Segment: Does this look like the face of?
Favorite Quote: “Its five o'clock somewhere”
Favorite food: Chicken Parmesan 
Favorite sports team(s): The New England Patriots
Favorite Beer: Shipyard Pumpkin Head 

The Nitty Gritty
Craziest place you've ever had sex: The movies
How do you let someone know you're interested in them: By making her laugh and asking for her number
What do you want girls to know about you: The way to my heart is a country girl
What do you look for in a girl: Funny, smart, and a good sense of humor
Deal-breaker: If she doesn't like football
Celebrity Crush: Carrie Underwood

Name: Benjamin Robert McDonough
Hometown: Lewiston, ME 
Relationship Status: Taken 
Sign: Leo

Campus Life

Major: Elementary Education
Favorite thing about UMaine: The fall foliage and Deb at the union 
How are you involved on campus: I am a brother of Beta Theta Pi fraternity and a member of the Kappa Delta Pi honor society
Favorite place to eat in Orono: Harvest Moon hands down. The Dizzy is irresistible 
Best Class: Geography 100 
Worst Class: Anything to do with Physics, Biology, or Chemistry 
How do you like to spend your weekends here: Hanging with friends making memories

Favorites
What is on your ipod's top rated: Believe it by Rick Ross
Boxers or Briefs: Briefs
Ski or Snowboard: Ski
Salty or Sweet: Little bit of both
Dream job: Center for Seguin and Marchand 
Biggest Pet Peeve: When kids play humans vs. zombies
Three words to describe yourself: Witty, easygoing, and sophisticated 
Favorite Barstool Segment: Does this look likes the face of?
Favorite song to dance to at a party: Die Young by Kesha
Favorite food: Mashed Potatoes 
Favorite Beer: Natty Light 
Favorite App (game or otherwise): Flow

The Nitty Gritty

Embarrassing moment: I would probably say messing up my trumpet solo in fifth grade
Craziest place you've ever had sex: On a campground dock
How do you let someone know you're interested in them: I send them snapchats of kissy faces
What do you want girls to know about you: I’m pretty fly for a white guy 
What do you look for in a girl: Dark hair, athletic, someone who can make me laugh, and she doesn’t mind being big spoon
Deal-breaker: No sense of humor, and also snoring 
Celebrity Man Crush: Joseph Gordon Leavitt

Name: Matt Campbell
Year: Junior
Major: PRTM (Sports Management)
Hometown: Alpharetta, GA
Relationship Status: Single

Campus involvement: Member of the Clemson baseball team.

Why Clemson University? I just wanted to go to a school in the south and not too far away from home, and I thought the campus was a great atmosphere! Also, the baseball aspect of things was a major factor in choosing Clemson.

What do you do in your free time? In my free time I like to hang out with friends, go golfing, go fishing, watch movies, and basically anything relating to the outdoors.  I also love sports.

Favorite quality of girls: Any girl who isn’t afraid of being themselves around me.  Girls with a good sense of humor are also a major turn on.

Something you want to do before Graduating?
I would like to find a nice, pretty, funny girl to take home to my momma.

What has been your worst dating experience?
I would have to say picking up a girl for her first date only to be met at the door by her ex NFL linebacker of a dad.  The cliché of dad scaring the guy into not having a second date definitely applied to me in that situation.

If you could date anyone who would it be?
I would definitely date Emily Blunt or Kate Beckinsale.  I could listen to those accents all day.

If you were on a deserted island, which three things would you have to have with you?
Definitely my best friend, my phone, and my dog.

Name: Jon Noyes
Nickname: No-Yes
Hometown: Caribou, Maine
Relationship Status: Single
Sign: Virgo

Campus Life

Major: International Affairs/History
Favorite thing about UMaine: Spring
How are you involved on campus: Intramural Sports
Favorite place to eat in Orono: Verve
Best Class: A skipped class
Worst Class: Anything before 10am
How do you like to spend your weekends here: Hanging out with my boys

Miscellaneous

What’s on your ipod’s top rated: Blind Melon, Sublime, and Dispatch
Boxers or Briefs: boxer briefs
An embarrassing confession: The Notebook is a great movie.
Ski or Snowboard: Ski
What are you plans for Spring Break: Went to Puerto Rico
Salty or Sweet: Sweet
Dream job: Getting paid to travel
Biggest Pet Peeve: Commercials
Three words to describe yourself: awesome, awesome, and awesome

Favorites

Favorite Barstool Segment: Smoke show
Favorite Quote: Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Favorite song to dance to at a party: No Diggity- Blackstreet
Favorite food: Ice Cream
Favorite sports team(s): Red Sox
Favorite Beer: Alexander Keith
Favorite App (game or otherwise): NESN app

The Nitty Gritty

How do you let someone know you're interested in them: I talk to them
What do you look for in a girl: a sense of humor
Deal-breaker: grey hair
Celebrity Crush: Mila Kunis
Boobs or Butt: Butt 

Name: John Brunner
Hometown: Rogers, AR
Major: Theatre and Political Science
Class Year: 2015

The Basics

Favorite book: To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Favorite Movie: Apollo 13
Favorite Store: Banana Republic
Most Played Song on your ipod: Come on Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners
Campus Activities: Junior Fellow for Arts. Res., Chi Phi Recruitment Co-Chair, WVBU, Theatre department productions
Campus Posse: My Chi Phi Brothers
General Interests: Theatre, political science, french, radio, reading, eating really good food,
Little Known Fact: I work at Old Navy but sometimes answer the phones as Old Coast Guard.

Girls, Girls, Girls

Relationship: Single
What do you look for in a girl: A good sense of humor and a chill attitude
Female turnoff: Cocaine addictions
Celebrity Crush: Kristen Bell

Best of the Rest

Proudest Accomplishment: Most recently it has been being elected Recruitment Co-chair for Chi Phi. Nothing tells you your brothers trust in you more than by placing the selection of the next pledge class into your hands.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years: Probably a mirror, I don't see any major technological advancements in that field any time soon
3 words to describe yourself: Goofy, organized, relaxed

First dates have loads of potential to be either rewarding… or disastrous. It takes a confident collegiette to make this first step forward into being in a relationship! Some would say that the benefits of going on a first date aren’t worth the potential risks: awkwardness, incompatibility, or extreme nervousness. However, taking the plunge and going on that date is definitely HC-approved. It may not go as swimmingly as you like, but you won’t have to live with regret and always be wondering, ‘What would’ve happened if I went out with that guy?’

Despite the possible gains, one of the major date deterrents for collegiettes remains the fear of the Bad Date. The Bad Date nearly always has an uncomfortable ending, as these collegiettes will attest:

“Bad dates are awkward all the time, but the endings are the worst, especially if he drove and is dropping you off at your house. I just cross my fingers and get out of the car and into my door ASAP so he doesn’t try and make a move!” – Briana, University of Missouri-Kansas City

“At the end of a date there’s always the inevitable, ‘So, will we see each other again?’ question hanging in the air. If the date sucked, then it is so awkward to know in the back of your head that you don’t want to pursue anything else with him.” – Emily, DePaul University

No doubt, a bad first date beginning makes for a less than pleasant bad first date ending. Luckily, it is possible to make your thoughts on the date and on your future – or lack thereof – with the guy clear without coming across as a mean girl or completely crushing his heart. And it’s important to remember that although ending the date is initially awkward, it WILL have an end and tomorrow will be the start of a new day (a day when you don’t have to redo your date).

But to make it easier before you get to the point when you’ve said your goodbyes, Her Campus has 6 ways for you to make the exit of your bad first date smooth without seeming stone cold!

During the Date

Yes, the key to a graceful exit begins before you reach your doorstep. If you follow your intuition, you will most likely realize that the date isn’t going well pretty quickly. Conversation will feel forced. You’ll be noticing some red flags. You’ll find yourself disagreeing with a lot of things the guy is saying. In general, you will just feel some unease as opposed to some spark. To have an un-dramatic exit from this situation, you can’t lead him on!

1. Keep Some Things To Yourself

To explain simply, don’t over-share or open up more than you would to a casual acquaintance. If you sense the date isn’t going well, don’t bring up intense things about your past or talk about all of your hopes and dreams for the future. Here’s why:

• When you don’t want to go on a second date, he will just be confused. Why did you seem so comfortable talking about emotional topics if you weren’t connecting on a special level?
• If he does take the fact that you’re not interested in a second date harshly, he will have loads of personal information about you to use against you. He may try to take something you say and twist it into a nasty rumor! (Which would be more proof that he wasn’t worth your time…)

There’s nothing wrong with making conversation. But, you may want to be on your guard with what you share—especially if you feel the date heading south. Stick to lighter topics like hobbies and favorites before you delve into family life and career aspirations.

2. Don’t Be a ‘Yes’ Woman

This goes for any date, not just a bad one. If you were talking to a friend and he or she said something that directly challenged your beliefs or opinions, you’d be honest with her about how you felt. Chances are if you’re on a good date, most of the things he will say won’t contradict your views. If you’re on a bad one, the odds of this may increase: “On one first date with a guy I went to church with, he asked me straight up about my feelings regarding gay marriage and abortion and told me all about how he felt. I’m sorry – to me those are really personal things to ask about on a first date. I just felt uncomfortable.” –Briana, University of Missouri-Kansas City

Obviously, getting defensive or angry when this happens is not the way to go if you want to avoid awkwardness. When you find yourself in this situation, be honest but not aggressive. Here’s a short and non-serious (unless you’re really intense about your ‘90s boy band allegiance) dialogue to give you an idea about how to respond if this happens:

Him: “*NSYNC was clearly the best boy band of the ‘90s. I honestly don’t get how anybody could listen to The Backstreet Boys. Their CD players must have been broken.”

You: “Well, I actually preferred The Backstreet Boys when I was younger. I think everyone just has his or her own music preferences though. I don’t have anything against *NSYNC fans!”

Though you’re unlikely to end up butting heads over pop music of decades past, the same principle applies: by being honest about your opinion, you aren’t leading him on to believe that you’re meant for each other. Plus, if it is meant to be, the fact that you don’t agree on everything wouldn’t be a turn-off for him.

3. Avoid Physical Contact

This one is pretty obvious. If you don’t feel that you have chemistry with a guy, don’t be overtly flirtatious. This means, don’t hold hands or put your hand on his arm when you’re talking with him. What’s the point of this besides leading him on? Physical contact is a sign that you’re enjoying yourself, so be careful not to lead him on when you aren’t!

If he’s making contact with you when you aren’t feeling the spark, chances are your night will only get worse. You didn’t sign up for this kind of discomfort when you agreed to go on the date but it’s easy to neutralize the situation. If he’s crossing that boundary, make him aware of it. Move your hand away or say something like, “I’m sorry, I’m just not comfortable with this right now!” and give him a smile to let him know that you don’t plan on biting his head off for attempting to hold your hand. It may be awkward in the moment, but you shouldn’t have to increase your discomfort just to get through the date.

At The End Of The Date

So, you’re on a date that’s winding down and you followed the previous guidelines: you didn’t get too personal, you were honest about your feelings, and you avoided bodily contact. He clearly wasn’t reading your signals and says:

I had a great time… When can I see you again?

If he still asks about a second date at the night’s conclusion (or even the next day via call or text) you’re going have to give him some tough love. You don’t have to go out with him again, so here are three ways to alleviate the awkwardness and make sure he gets the hint:

4. Say: You Don’t Have Time to Devote To Him

At first glance, this may seem counterintuitive because you made time to go on the date. But if you felt that the date was rough then you truly don’t have time to devote to him. You may not be too busy to go on a first date, but you ARE too busy to go on a bad second date. “In the middle of the semester, I really value my free time. If I were to go on a bad date, I would honestly consider it time wasted. Why would I go on another one that I knew was probably going to be bad when I could be hanging with friends or out looking for a new guy?” –Kylie, University of Kansas

How do you use this reasoning to escape your date with ease? Use these points to craft a good reason why the end of this date should be a permanent ending:

• You put a lot of focus and effort into what you are involved in (e.g. your friend/family relationships, your work, your grades, your outside activities).
• It is important to you that you maximize your time with the things you focus on.
• So, you don’t think that you have the time to fit him into your life.

You don’t have to make it about him personally, but you don’t have to lie, either. He’s not important enough to you to justify carving time out of your busy schedule to go on another date. Worded nicely, he should understand.

5. Say: You Aren’t Looking For Commitment

Again, this reasoning could seem like a lie based on the fact that you went out on a date. But the fact that you aren’t looking for commitment WITH HIM is not a lie. Here are a few different things you can say to make this point in a nice way:

• “I think you are a really great person, but I think that I might not be ready for the kind of relationship that you are looking for. Dating right now isn’t feeling as natural as I think it should feel.”
• “I don’t know if I’m in a place right now that I would feel comfortable committing to dating you regularly. Based on my life right now, I want to approach dating casually so that I can decide if I’m ready for something more.”

“When a guy that I’d had a rough date with texted me about going out (again) a few days later, I told him, ‘Going out with you was a great experience, but I’ve realized that I just don’t see myself committing to this right now. I’m sorry and I hope we can still be friends!’ I felt bad, but I was being honest. I did not see myself in a relationship with him and hopefully he appreciated the fact that I wasn’t playing games.” –Kylie, University of Kansas

6. Say: You Don’t Think That You Are Compatible

Of all of these date-dodging options, we like this one the best. Why? Because it is the most straightforward. If you want to be graceful about ending your date, you’re doing him the biggest favor by being direct. If you don’t want to see him again, it helps to be honest about why. You weren’t comfortable because you lacked compatibility. If you can help him to see this too, he can use this as a learning experience when he asks someone else out next time (and so can you)! Next time you find yourself not clicking with the guy next to you, follow the advice of this collegiette:

“I'm a big advocate for not playing games and just being an honest person. Too often, people think honest and rude are synonyms, but as long as you're nice, most guys will find honesty refreshing. I went on a date this past Saturday and when he asked me out again at the end I said, ‘I've really enjoyed hanging out with you, but in the future I'd like to hang out as friends.’ I know from lots (and lots) of experience how frustrating mixed signals can be, so I would never want to do that to someone else.”- Michelle, Emerson College

And what if you follow these tips (making it clear you don’t want to go out again) and he STILL goes in for a kiss at the end?

“A guy I was on a horrific date with tried to kiss me when he walked me back to the door. I think some people would’ve just let it happen, but there was no way I was going to do that. You shouldn’t have to kiss someone and be super uncomfortable just because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. Dodge it! I just said something like ‘I’m sorry, I don’t feel comfortable with that.’ If he isn’t a jerk, he will respect that.” –Emily, DePaul University

There you have it, collegiettes! If you keep these six things in mind on your next date (which hopefully won’t be going badly), you won’t have to deal with an even-worse second date. The key is to make sure you aren’t leading him on. If he still isn’t getting it at the end of the date, it’s important to be honest and direct about the fact that you aren’t interested in seeing him again. If he’s a good guy, he will understand and you both can move on to find your own happily ever afters!

Photo Credits:
http://www.tsbmag.com/2011/02/21/5-worst-first-date-ideas/
http://virilemag.com/10-places-to-skip-for-a-first-date
http://www.photo-dictionary.com/phrase/9126/shaking-hands.html
http://nwso.net/2009/07/21/date-from-hell/
http://someecards.com

Broke from calling late night love lines for advice? Looking for the lowdown on the hoedown when it comes to college guys? Real Live College Guy Sean is here to help you pick apart the mind of the average college guy. Whether it’s avoiding that awkward weekend hook-up or full-on relationship advice, Sean is here to save the day!

I recently mustered up the courage to tell the guy I have a crush on that I like him. I told him that I hoped the feeling was mutual, but if it wasn't, I hoped we could still be friends. He replied to me (yes, it was via text) saying that the feeling was mutual, and even if it hadn't been, he still would have wanted to be friends. I said that I was glad to hear that and we started talking about something else. But that's all that was said. He isn't much of a texter (he simply doesn't text a whole lot), and while we both like each other, we've never hung out alone before; we've been in the same classes, we both play soccer, and we've gotten closer this year. We're both going off to college next year (different colleges, about an hour apart), so I'm afraid that he might not try to get closer to me just to be parted at the end of the summer. Could that be it, though? Why would he tell me he likes me and then not try to hang out with me?

What should I do? Leave it to him to make the first move? Or do guys think it's okay if the girl tries to initiate a date? Should it be a group date, since we don't hang out much anyways, or should we just go solo to avoid the hassle of finding a group of people that we're both comfortable hanging out with? If it is okay for a girl to initiate a date, and, if so, do you have any suggestions? I don't want to freak him out by first admitting my feelings and then suggesting dates, but summer will be gone before we know it! I also don't want to make it a super expensive date, so if he tries to pay for the first date (as most guys do), it's not overwhelming.

Sorry for all the questions; I'm just really confused on what to do! – I Confessed: What Now? in Washburn

OK, let me start off by answering a few of your basic questions. If a guy tells you he likes you, usually he’ll be the one to ask you to hang out or whatever. But, if you don’t feel like waiting for him, I’ve always said that guys love a girl who’s proactive and takes the initiative in the date.

However, before you worry about the dating situation, I think you need to figure out what you’d do if things got serious. Unfortunately, this scenario gets exponentially more complicated by the fact that you’re leaving high school to go to college. College isn’t how it seems in films where “distance isn’t a factor” and “everything will work out.” Even though you guys will only be an hour away from one another, that doesn’t mean you’ll be seeing each another all the time.

Your first semester at school is perhaps the most important of your whole college career. When I went off to college, I had a relationship from high school that still lingered from the summer. It was a huge mistake. You may not realize it now, but all the time you spend on Skype or texting is time that you’re not spending making new friends or meeting new people. Granted, my girlfriend at the time and I split in early October, so I was able to salvage the semester and meet people that I am still very close with today. In case you can’t tell, I’m really against going into college with a relationship–the only exception being if your significant other is attending the same school.

With that being said, I suspect that’s why this guy hasn’t made any moves. The summer is short, and with saying goodbye to friends occupying most of your summer time, it’s even shorter. He may have feelings for you, but simply doesn’t wish to carry baggage into a new chapter in his life. In retrospect, I wish I had done the same.

Unfortunately, your timing seems to be the only thing wrong with this scenario, because whether you like it or not, you’ll move into your new home in the fall and he will do the same. And while you may be close by distance, your new social circles will still pull you in different directions. It may be hard to picture things down the road, but remember that this is supposed to be an exciting time, not one where all you’ll do is worry about keeping up with a relationship you just got in.

You’re a college graduate now—hooray! Along with your diploma comes a whole new dating scene. The guys haven’t magically transformed into perfect gentlemen, but you’re not so different from your crazy college self either—for now at least. Living alone in a big city for the first time with a real job and a whole new selection of men isn’t as simple as it seems. Here are 8 things to be prepared for in the post-college dating scene:

1. Booty calls/hook-ups are not relationships

You might have followed the “we’re together” mentality in college even if you were just hooking up and not going on actual dates. But after college, you should expect him to take you out if he’s serious about being with you, not just take you back to his apartment. If he doesn’t, you’re probably not in a relationship.

“I thought hooking up was the be all end all of dating since that’s all that I knew in college, but this all changed after graduation when I met a guy at work. Our first date consisted of dinner and a walk in the park, not hooking up and sleeping at his place,” says Rachel*, Grand Valley State University ’10. It’s true that he might not be able to afford an expensive date on his new limited budget, but if he’s actually interested in dating you, expect to go on more dates than you went on in college.

Post-college dating dare:
Make sure your first date with a new guy happens outside of your apartment. Let him know from day one that you are not a booty-call by refusing to spend the night too soon.

2. Casually dating multiple people at once is the norm

You’re in a new city surrounded by tons of people. It’s just like freshman year, but the guys are more mature and you’re more prepared for dating (thanks to this guide!). Now’s a perfect time to date a few men at the same time so you can figure out what you’re looking for in a partner and determine which one actually likes you. Marissa, University of Michigan ’10, likes to have fun with dating and keep it casual. She understands not to let anyone make her feel guilty for going out with one guy for a while and then changing her mind. “It’s not leading someone on; be honest and carefree as you take dating day by day; remember, you’re meeting lots of people, and only one will stick,” she says.

It’s smart to casually date multiple men so you can carry on the most promising relationship and say goodbye to the guys who just don’t fit what you’re looking for. And remember, the guys are likely dating multiple girls at the same time, too. So be careful not to jump to conclusions about the status of your relationship without having the talk.

Post-college dating dare:
Schedule more than one date in the same week. Having a full social calendar always feels great. (We all deserve the chance to feel like we’re on The Bachelorette every once in a while.)

3. Dating with a larger age difference is acceptable

It’s okay if your new post-college guy is 5+ years older than you; really anyone in their 20s or early 30s is fair game. As far as dating younger guys goes, don’t venture too far into cougar territory. Most of the guys you meet post-college will be older anyways.

If you’re going to date a 30-year-old and are only a year out of college, realize that you’ll have to adapt to this huge age difference. Since you aren’t in your college bubble anymore, be careful about whom you do decide to date. You could meet a creepy old man who pretends to be younger—and that is definitely not the guy you want to date.

Post-college dating dare:
Say yes when the cute guy who’s 8 years older than you asks you out for coffee.

4. Guys will want to talk on the phone

In college, you usually text because it’s convenient and because you’re so used to communicating in that way. After college, talking on the phone becomes more of the norm. “I realized texting was stupid because the other person can’t really tell how you’re feeling. My college girlfriend would always read my texts the wrong way and get mad at me, so when I graduated, I vowed to make more calls and send fewer texts. I met a cute girl through a mutual friend and decided to call her and ask her out on a date. A few dates later, she said how impressed she was that I had called her,” says John, Saginaw Valley State University ’09. See, good things come to those who call. Now that you’re a college graduate, you can’t revert back to your high school texting relationship days; calling is way more meaningful.

Post-college dating dare:
Call him just to talk. It might feel weird at first since you rely so much on texting, but hearing each other’s voices is way better than typing into a tiny screen and sending a few too many emoticons and “lol”s.

5. Tons of people do online dating

For whatever reason, all of my college friends seem to laugh at the idea of online dating. But post-college, the Internet is just one more way to meet a guy, especially when there isn’t a huge pool of single men in your area.

“I graduated last year and am living at home in my parents’ house. Sometimes I feel as if I transported back to high school. Sure, as a 23-year-old woman I don’t have a curfew, but I also have a nearly nonexistent social life. After being in college for four years surrounded by thousands of people my own age, I feel like there is no one my age around here!” says Megan, University of Michigan, ’10. Online dating is a great solution for people like Megan who move back home after college and are struggling to find love. “Since I work in a female-dominated field, I was having trouble meeting guys my first year out of college so I decided to try out OkCupid, says Leslie*, Wayne State University ’10. Even though I didn’t meet my future husband, I did go on a few good dates and met a lot of guys.” Erase all of your preconceptions about online dating and you just might find your future boyfriend in cyberspace.

Post-college dating dare:
Explore different online dating sites and set up a profile. Even if you don’t end up pursuing any of the dating opportunities you find online, you’ll get a self-esteem boost as you see your inbox fill up with new messages from cute, available guys.

6. Guys have more baggage

Maybe he’s been engaged or married, maybe he has a child, or maybe he’s had a live-in girlfriend. Whatever his baggage is, be prepared to handle surprises that you never had to deal with in college. His baggage isn’t always bad; it just means he’s had different life experiences than you. As long as you go into it with a positive attitude and an open mind, you should be able to handle these little challenges.

Post-college dating dare:
Be patient and understanding if and when he exposes his baggage. There’s nothing you can’t handle. Unless he’s done something seriously wrong that makes you question his character or your safety, try not to judge him for his past.

7. Some guys are still stuck in college

You might feel like you’re still living on campus by the way some guys act. Carrie* explains how she thought things would change when she started med school, but found a lot of the guys wanting to hook up with her from day one. Be on the lookout for guys who want to be independent bachelors and repeat freshman year all over again—one hook-up after the next. “I moved to Chicago to start an internship after college and discovered my new guy was also dating another girl who lived in our apartment complex,” says Amanda*, a 2010 graduate of Princeton University. If you’re ever in a situation like this, ditch the guy immediately and tell him you will not put up with his childish games. There’s a difference between dating around and dating all of the neighbors!

Post-college dating dare:
Promise yourself that you won’t be the girl who’s stuck in college by refusing to make any of the dating mistakes you made during undergrad.

8. Some guys are looking to settle down

After college, most guys realize life isn’t one big party with a new girl to choose from each night, which means they might be more open to the idea of a serious relationship. Your dating life will start to feel more real and less like a game. “I’m in a new part of my life and feel more ready to find a serious girlfriend,” says Peter, Florida State University, ’11. This is music to my ears!

Before you get too excited, remember: just because he’s ready for a girlfriend doesn’t mean he’s the perfect guy for you. Make sure you find someone whose relationship goals align with your own.

Post-college dating dare:
If a guy tells you he’s ready to take things to the next level and you’re not feeling the same way, tell him how you feel. Just because you found someone who’s finally ready to settle down doesn’t mean you have to be ready for him. Remember, you don’t have to marry the first guy you meet.

Dating after college has its ups and downs – in some ways it’s much more cut-and-dry than dating in college, but in other ways the extra responsibilities and life experience can make meshing with your man more difficult. Try these post-college dating dares to make the most of the new scene and you could find yourself surrounded by cute 20-somethings before you know it!

When you leave class to go to the restroom, you head to the ladies’ room. For most people, it’s something we don’t really think about. From birth, our gender has (in a lot of ways) established a core part of our identity. Society likes to tie our biological parts with our habits, likes, and dislikes: Girls wear pink and play with dolls; boys wear blue and play with cars. Women love to shop for designer shoes and men are obsessed with all things sports. But for some people, the lines between male and female are not so defined, and the societal definitions can be restricting. If you’ve ever felt like you didn’t fit into society’s definition of “male” or “female,” you’re not alone. We spoke to Robin Parry, an education and outreach community developer at QMUNITY, a queer resource center in British Columbia; and Andrew Rabasse, the founder and coordinator for the genderqueer Vancouver community group at QMUNITY.

What does “genderqueer” mean?

While we are all born with a biological sex, gender refers to characteristics and behaviors that define us as either masculine or feminine in society. These could be things like wearing makeup as a feminine characteristic or acting tough as a masculine trait.

“Gender expression is how one outwardly manifests gender, by means such as name and pronoun choice, style of dress, voice modulation,” Parry says. “How one expresses gender might not necessarily reflect one’s actual gender identity.”

Some people describe sexuality as fluid, and gender can be, too. The line between genders is a blurry one for people who feel they do not fit squarely in the feminine or masculine box. Some people feel their gender is the opposite of the biological sex they were born as (transgendered), some describe themselves as “genderless” (otherwise known as pangender), some have described feeling like a combination of both genders (referred to as “two-spirit” or bi-gender), while others move between genders.

Typically, society leans toward the gender and sexual binary, which is the understanding that males are masculine, females are feminine, males are sexually attracted to females, and females are sexually attracted to males. But the world often isn't that polarizing. When understanding genderqueer people, remember that gender is separate from sexuality; a genderqueer person may be straight, gay, bisexual, or asexual, or he or she may have a different view of his or her sexuality.

“Sexual orientation is defined by feelings of attraction, rather than behaviour,” Parry says. “Gender identity is one’s internal and psychological sense of oneself as male, female, both, in between, or neither.”

In other words, who a person is sexually attracted to has no relation to their gender identity.

According to the 2011 National Transgender Discrimination Survey performed by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and the National Center for Transgender Equality, 22 percent of the 7,500 respondents strongly identified with the term “genderqueer.”

When asked, “What is your current gender?” 61 percent of males-assigned-at-birth identified as “part-time/other” (with the other options being “male” and “female”), compared to 39 percent of females-assigned-at-birth who answered the same.

Although these statistics provide some insight into how a number of people identify when it comes to gender, according to Parry and Rabasse, there is a lack of reliable statistics on people who identify as genderqueer.

This could be due to a number of factors:

• They may not have realized that there are gender identities beyond the gender binary. “Some folk who might identify as genderqueer are just now getting an opportunity to explore their gender, or have not yet had that opportunity,” says Parry.
• Some people use different terms to describe their gender identity. Besides genderqueer, there is also gender outlaw, gender-variant, gender f*ck, gender non-conformist, and omnigender.
• Some may not be comfortable disclosing their gender identity to a stranger, even through an anonymous survey.

While some people have known all their lives that they do not fit society’s gender system, others don’t know until later in their lives, according to Parry.

What if you feel like you don’t fit the gender binary?

Because of new experiences, a new sense of independence, and classes that encourage more critical thinking, college is a time of experimentation and self-discovery.

“Individuals may question their gender identity at any time in their life, and college is often a time where this questioning occurs openly because people may have more freedom to explore than they had in their lives previously,” Rabasse says.

He stresses that only you can decide your gender identity on your own time. “It is important to reflect on who you really are in order to gain the awareness it takes to become conscious of your gender identity,” Rabasse says. “Do not feel pressured to identify as one gender or another; just identify as however you feel fits you, whatever that might be.”

Genderqueer Resources

If you are questioning your gender, it is something that only you can define–but you don’t have to figure it out without help. There are many resources available for more information and communities of people who have decided they do not fit the gender binary.

• Gender Education and Advocacy, a national organization that advocates for gender-variant people.
• Genderqueer and Non-Binary Identities, a website aiming to raise awareness and provide information on genderqueer people. It is run by Marilyn Roxie, who identifies as genderqueer.
• Experience Project’s  “I Am Genderqueer” forum & chat board, an online forum for people who are genderqueer.
• Genderfork, a website for those who identify as genderqueer where you can even create your own profile, share your story with others, and read others’ stories.
• Queer Theory, Gender Theory: An Instant Primer, a book by Riki Anne Wilchins.
• GenderQueer: Voices From Beyond the Sexual Binary, a book edited by Joan Nestle, Clare Howell and Riki Wilchins.

Rabasse also suggests campus websites (check to see if your school has queer groups or information), sexual health clinics, and local LGBT community centers. Check out social networking sites like Facebook for any genderqueer groups.

Every girl deserves a good guy, but let’s be realistic–there’s only one Ryan Gosling, and he’s not available to most of us. No, it’s not wrong to have standards, but are your standards impossible to reach? Are you so focused on your path to the perfect guy that you can’t see the imperfect-but-perfect-for-you guy outside your blinders?

Gillian*, a recent graduate of Kwantlen Polytechnic University, is familiar with friends who have sky-high expectations and says seeing them pass up good guys is frustrating.

“I think that people today are so fixated on finding Mr. or Mrs. Right... that we completely overlook the wonderful people who are right there in front of us,” she says. “One [of my friends] has been alone for as long as I've known her because no one meets her physical standards. And I have another who has dated everyone she knows for a short period of time, but she's constantly trying to 'upgrade,' so she's never happy.”

But what are some signs that you, like Gillian’s friends, have sky-high expectations preventing you from seeing the great guy right in front of you?

1. You Can’t Put Your Finger on Why He’s Not Good Enough

You say “he’s just not my type,” but you can’t come up with concrete reasons why. You might not even have a defined “type,” you just know that whatever it is, he’s not it. Translation? You don’t actually know what you want, and not knowing what you want means you’ll never be satisfied in a relationship.

Kim Sarrasin, a Vancouver-based dating and relationship expert, says it’s necessary to be aware of your needs, acknowledge them, and not be afraid to ask for them. “Every woman is individual,” she says. “It’s more about how in tune you are to what it is that you want and how much courage you have to ask a man to fulfill on the needs that you have.”

If this is you, ask yourself what kind of guy you see yourself with. What would make you happy? What are the things you need from a relationship? Make a list, but make sure it’s not too specific...

2. You Stick to Your Specific List of Must-Haves

You’ve written up a list of qualities that defines your dream guy, from a specific down-to-the-decimal number in his bank account, to the placement of the dimple on his left cheek (okay, well, maybe not that specific). If your list says things like “a full head of hair,” “comes from a big family,” “likes alternative rock,” “aspires to have a career in the medical industry,” or “dresses like a hipster but doesn’t act like one,” chances are, you won’t find a guy who ticks off all these boxes (unless you’re really lucky).

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have expectations, but unless all the stars magically align and the universe conjures up a guy who fits your specifications, you’re never going to be happy because there will be no guy who fulfills your detailed wish list.

Rewrite criteria on your list to be less specific, all while staying true to what you truly desire. Ask yourself why you want that specific quality, and rephrase your criteria to say what you really want. For example, if you wrote, “must have a full head of hair,” the reason you probably wrote this is because you don’t think you could be attracted to a bald man. Instead, put: “must be attractive to me.”

Or, if you wrote that he must make a certain amount of money, it might be because you desire a guy who works hard to achieve his ambitions (in other words, no couch potatoes wanted!). Instead, put “must be passionate about his career and have a great work ethic.”

You will still have a list of what you want, just less stringent, which leaves room for a great guy to squeeze through!

3. You Put Too Much Weight on the Little Things

You’re out the second that he does something “wrong,” whether it is scratching his nose at the dinner table or finding out he used a Groupon deal for date. If his distaste for Glee is an immediate deal-breaker, you might need to re-examine your priorities.

Re-evaluate your list of deal-breakers. Just like it’s important to know what you want, it’s also important to know what you don’t want. What are the top things you would absolutely not be able to tolerate in a guy?

Limit the number of deal-breakers so that you can count them on one hand (or two, max). Understandable deal-breakers are ones related to disagreement on moral issues, values, and how he treats you (any kind of abuse, neglect, cheating, etc. is obviously not okay!). Whatever deal-breakers you won’t bend on, make sure that they’re big enough issues that they truly define who the guy is as a person.

Okay, he might have insisted you pay separately for the first date, going against your belief that men should always pay for everything. But maybe he’s going through a tough time financially at the moment. If everything else was fine up until the moment he asked you to cover your part of the bill, ask yourself if you could overlook this imperfection.

Ask yourself what is most important to you and what you want out of the relationship. If it’s essential that he’s a family guy, the fact that he is close to his mom and wants kids one day might be enough of a reason to overlook his crooked nose.

No one is perfect, but when you do find a good guy who possesses none of your serious deal-breaker qualities, you’ll like him enough to overlook that crooked nose or the fact that he is a frequent Groupon user.

4. Your Friends Have Stopped Trying to Set You Up

You rely on online dating because your friends gave up on introducing you to potential guys a long time ago. You might have turned down every one of their suggestions, and the ones who you didn’t turn down barely lasted half a date.

Okay, maybe your friends have bad taste in guys or aren’t natural born matchmakers. But if they’ve tried multiple times, with a variety of different guys... at the end of the day, you have to examine the common denominator (you).

If they’re your good friends, they probably wouldn’t set you up with someone they thought wasn’t worthy or wouldn’t be a good match for you. So if you want to give your friends another chance, let them know you’re willing to be more open to their suggestions and let them know what your absolute deal-breakers are.

5. You Haven’t Had a Long-Term Relationship in a While (Or Ever)

Your oldest friends can’t remember the last time you’ve had a boyfriend, and it’s not because guys don’t try to pursue you.

Maybe your last real relationship ended in heartbreak and you’re scared of experiencing that again. Being picky could be your own way of protecting yourself and making sure you don’t get hurt again.

As an expert, Sarrasin recognizes that if a woman is nitpicking down to the littlest things, it might stem from her fear of being in a relationship. “Generally, she’s got her walls up,” she says. “She has a fear around men. That’s a woman who is afraid of actually being in a relationship.”

Have you been burned before? Acknowledging that the fear of getting hurt is the root of your pickiness is the first step to healing (and moving on to a better guy!).

6. You’re Waiting for That Head-Over-Heels Crazy Chemistry Feeling

Just like you can’t expect life to be an episode of Friends, you can’t always expect an overwhelming, magical attraction akin to that of Edward and Bella. As much as you want to experience an enchanting love story right out of a romance novel, you have to have realistic expectations. After all, the butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling eventually fades.

Don’t disregard attraction; that is important. But sometimes attraction doesn’t come instantly—it can reveal itself after getting to know a person better. If he seems like a decent guy, give him a chance before dismissing him over a lack of Fourth of July-worthy fireworks. Sometimes a spark takes a while to build before turning into a flame.

Remember: Standards are Important, but in the End, the Little Things Don’t Matter

Estefania*, a rising sophomore at British Columbia Institute of Technology, didn’t ever imagine she would end up with her current boyfriend. However, even though he didn’t fit the criteria of her ideal guy, he ended up changing her idea of who her ideal guy would be.

“I think everyone has a certain expectation when it comes to a partner: ‘they have to be funny and tall and play a sport,’” says Estefania. “But then one day, someone comes along who is nothing like your expectations, and then you realize how stupid this list really is, because even though they don’t check off most or any of your criteria, they are somehow better.”

Sometimes, the strength of your expectations will go by the wayside when you meet someone so great that they don’t have to be everything on your list. So examine your priorities, deal-breakers and expectations. You never know—your perfect-for-you guy could be right in front of you!

Broke from calling late night love lines for advice? Looking for the lowdown on the hoedown when it comes to college guys? Real Live College Guy Sean is here to help you pick apart the mind of the average college guy. Whether it’s avoiding that awkward weekend hook-up or full-on relationship advice, Sean is here to save the day!

Long story short: I was a total sl*t in high school. I have more than one embarrassing moment in my relationship history that I'd love to just erase completely. I'm really sick of the whole casual sex culture though, and now I just want a fresh start for college. However, I'm very fearful that my past is going to come back to haunt me. Obviously, I don't plan on going around broadcasting my former reputation, but I feel like my history would be a huge turn-off for any genuine, quality guy. I also fear that it will garner unwanted attention from some of the creeps on campus who knew the old me. I know I'm serious about making a change, but how do I get others, especially a guy I'm serious about, to see that? – Not That Girl Anymore in NJ

So you’re looking to start fresh after a rough time in high school. Totally doable. Luckily, this sort of change is mostly dependent on you.

First of all, what you need to worry about most is yourself. Everyone has demons from the past, myself included. There will always be things in life that you’re not proud of. The way you deal with them is to accept who you were by acknowledging them and moving on. Get closure.

Once you’re in college, you’ll have the chance to fully change who you are. Don’t worry about people who knew the old you. In college, people get pushed and pulled in different directions, so if you don’t want to see them, you don’t have to. Furthermore, no one worth your time will hassle you about your past because, quite frankly, it’s immature and a waste of time. Who you were in high school doesn’t really matter when you’re in college, especially when making new friends.

Let get hypothetical, though. What happens if a guy you’re interested in hears rumors about your high school past? Your mind starts racing, your heart beats faster, and you panic that he’ll just dump you on the spot. Well chillax, because if he’s legit, he won’t. This not only is a good time to talk about your past (obviously), but it’s also a time where you can gauge how much he’s into you. If this rumor bothered him (which, for some guys, it may not at all), he’ll bring it up to you. When he comes to you, tell him what you told me here – that it was the old you, that you’re not like that anymore, and that while rumors are annoying, you’re not going to let it affect you today, as you’re a different person now. As long as you’re honest about it, it shouldn’t get in the way of your relationship. Personally, I’d be more inclined to trust a girl I was dating if she came forward about something like this. It shows that you’re not perfect, and I like that, because God knows I’m not perfect either.

Don’t worry about your past turning off any genuine guy. If he’s with you now, it’s because of who you are today, not who you were in high school. If you don’t let your past bother you, it won’t bother him.

  If you ever find yourself wondering what could possibly be going through a guy’s head, look no further. Our Real Live College Guy Jake will give you the answers to your most burning questions about love, relationships and the stupid things that guys sometimes (okay, a lot of times) do and say. Read on to uncover truths that men have been guarding for centuries (and to find out whether or not he thinks wearing a belt over a T-shirt is stupid).
 
So I started dating my boyfriend about 2 1/2 months ago, but we had known each other for awhile before that. Before dating, he didn’t know whether I was a virgin or not. Our first and second “dates” were big on making out and everything. Then, I told him I was a virgin, and he seemed to lose interest in being physical. Like I always have to start everything. Is this because I'm a virgin, he’s being overly cautious? Is he losing interest? I’m not sure how to handle this situation because I can’t just tell him to be more physical...  -Frustrated Virgin at Florida State University
 
 

Yes, your boyfriend is acting weird because you’re a virgin (sorry). It’s not that he’s afraid to have sex with you; it’s that he’s afraid of what will come next. Sex is different for everyone: for some people it is sacred, while for others it is more casual. But everyone has an idea of how it is going to be his or her first time, and the general conception associated with girls is that they romanticize their first time to a point that cannot be sustained by reality (not to say that guys don’t, but we’ll never tell...). It really doesn’t matter if you’re one of these romantic types; what matters is that this boyfriend probably thinks you envision yourself losing your virginity under utterly perfect circumstances. Not only does this put a lot of pressure on him to live up to your expectations for the act itself, but it also puts a lot of pressure on him to be there for you afterwards. 
 
Most people shy away from virgins because they feel that by going through with it, they are bound to this person, almost legally, as he or she goes through the emotional and physical confusion that may or may not follow. The best path to take in this situation, as in almost every situation, is the path of honesty. Take some time to think about what sex means for you and how important your first experience is in the scheme of things. Have a conversation with your boyfriend to make sure he is on the same page. If your first time is extremely important to you and something you feel should be accompanied by a serious relationship, then let this boy know you feel that way. If you’re not ready for sex, tell him that, and he will probably respect it – at least it will give him some concrete guidelines to work with, so you two can enjoy the perks of hooking up without the pressure of wondering how far it should go. If you do want to have sex with him, let him know; tell him that you understand why he may feel uncomfortable being the one to initiate the act, and either A) assure him that you want him to be the one to usher you through the process or B) that when you’re ready for sex, you will be the one taking control (in which case, you might want to consult a manual). Finally, if you’re worried that he might break up with you because you’re a virgin, don’t be. He probably won’t, and if he does, then he’s definitely not the guy for you.

Summer means one thing to me. Okay, so maybe more than one thing (I momentarily forgot about Beyonce's new album).  But at least one of the five best things about summer is the opportunity to hook up in new and exciting locations. Winter left us stuck inside (yawn), but with warm weather comes a whole new crop (pun intended) of places to get down to business. Some are better (read: less illegal)  than others, so read on for HC’s best and worst hook-up spots and start mapping out your weekends!
 
The Beach

Anyone who’s ever tried to order a drink underage knows the infamy of Sex on the Beach.  While it may sound totally romantic and exotic, HC votes “no” on this tried-but-not-true location. You know when you lay out on the beach, and even though you’re on a towel, sand ends up, er, everywhere? There are some places where sand should just NOT be. 

Ranking: 3 of 10 (it’s really just the sand thing… oh and possible charge for indecent exposure)

The Dugout at Your Local Ballpark

Head to your old high school or a Little League park close by (after hours, please – the children are our future) for a guy-approved romp. Dressing up for the occasion is a tad (read: WAY) over the top, but definitely wear something you can get dirty in.

Ranking: 7 of 10 (good, clean American fun)

The Bar Bathroom

Ladies, ladies, ladies … this is not a very lady like spot to be intimate. I mean, people walking in and out, the whole hiding-in-a-stall thing and not to mention all the bacteria should deter you from going this route. However, if there is a one-person bathroom with a locking door, you could be in business. Just remember what your mother always told you: DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING.

Ranking: 5 of 10 (relative privacy, yes; cleanliness, no)

 
Movie Theater

Summer’s the time for all the big blockbusters (The Dark Knight Rises, anyone?), but just because you’re seeing a movie doesn’t mean you should get down during it. Sticky seats and nosy, watchful tweens make for a not-so-romantic experience. Better to spend the movie in anticipation of a steamy hook-up after the credits end.
Ranking: 4 of 10 (you were really gonna divert your attention away from Magic Mike when Channing Tatum could be shirtless?!)

His Car

Car make-outs are A) everyone’s favorite thing about high school and B) still really fun. Keep it at that though – you don’t want a policeman knocking on the back window and telling you to put your clothes on. Up the ante by heading to a drive-in movie theater (if there is one near you) and get your Danny and Sandy on.

Ranking: 8 of 10 (nostalgia)

The Balcony

Balconies are great places to hang out and chill with your girlfriends on warm summer nights. They can also be très romantic. But don’t forget that PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU. If you choose to take a man-friend out on your balcony for a “drink,” keep it PG. And enjoy the view, of course.
Ranking: 9 of 10 (city chic)

Hot Tub

Okay, remember that rumor you were TOTALLY SURE was true when you heard it in the 9th grade? Yeah, it’s not true. You can get pregnant in hot tubs. Super hot water doesn’t kill sperm; it gives you a UTI, more likely. Either keep it PG or head to dry land when things get, uh, steamy.

Ranking: 2 of 10 (when’s the last time this thing was cleaned??)

A Lake

According to collegiettes in the know, a lake hook-up offers the same ambiance of the beach but with less sand and mess. I like to think it offers a nice summer camp vibe – why not paddle out in a canoe and get frisky?
Ranking: 8 of 10 (even if you fall in, you’ll still have fun)

Ice Cream Stand

The one thing I look forward to all winter long is authentic handmade ice cream from the local stand. Why not add to the sweetness by bringing a hottie along? You’ll have to keep it family friendly, but making out on a sugar high is something everyone should do at least once.\

Ranking: 7 of 10 (get creative with the whipped cream once you’re in private)

In a Tent

Summer may be a great time to go camping (you know, if you’re into that sort of thing), but I have one thing to say about getting freaky in what is basically an oversized rain parka: BUG BITES. Do you want these on areas of skin you normally don’t expose? Didn’t think so. If you’re deep in the woods, keep your clothes on.
Ranking: 1 of 10 (OFF! isn’t made for everywhere)
 
There you have it, collegiettes. We hope you take our advice and hook up in spots that make your summer hotter than ever. Do you have any favorite summer hook-up spots? Tell us in the comments below!

Photo Credits
Car Couple- Shutterstock
Balcony kiss couple- Shutterstock

It’s 11 p.m. on a Friday, and whether your killing it at flip cup at a frat party or on your second round of drinks at your favorite bar, the night is young and you’re having a killer time. Then, suddenly, you feel two eyes from across the room staring at you for a little too long. One awkward greeting and a bit of inescapable conversation later, it hits you—you’ve got a creeper on your hands.

Creepers come in all shapes and sizes, but their intentions are always the same, so it’s up to you to keep an overzealous suitor from ruining your night out. Lucky for you, we’ve got your all-inclusive guide for how to creepy guys and how you can get them to back off and stay away when one tries to pounce.

1. The Covert Closeout

Sometimes, your best defense against an unwanted male is a circle of females. And while effective, the closeout does take some coordination and slick choreography.

First step: establish a code word. Actually, let’s say “code words,” because there are more than enough uncomfortable and emergency situations that can arise during a night out that may not always be, uh, appropriate to address out loud. This being said, the most important code word to establish is the creeper code word. Be sure to come up with one before heading out, because those suckers tend to strike when you’re least expecting it. The creeper code word denotes that a brash Casanova is in pursuit and you need backup, STAT. Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to utilize your code word and the closeout method when you’ve found yourself in the grasp of a stage five clinger:

1. Excuse yourself politely. He’ll likely be keeping an eye on you and eventually start to follow, but it’s worth a try.
2. Find your girls. Do a quick scan of the bar or basement and operate with a sense of urgency; this is not the time to mingle. Vámonos!
3. Rejoin your BFF group and drop that code word.
4. Allow your girls to slyly encapsulate you in the friend circle, making you generally invisible to the creeper’s eye and creating a barrier of feisty friends to protect you from this guy’s less than honorable intentions. See ya never, Creeps Magee!

2. The Graceful Getaway

We’ve all been there. You’re conversing with a gent you’ve just met or have been introduced to, and at first (tipsy) glance he seems like a great catch. Then, all of a sudden, in a moment of unadulterated sobriety, you have the startling realization that this one was a seriously poor judgment call. Maybe it’s his slicked-back hair and bedazzled Ed Hardy tee, the fact that he insists on calling you “babe,” or the fact that he has already tried to cop a feel twice that tips you off to the fact you’re dealing with a full-blown creep-in-the-making.  Regardless, you’ve gotta nip this in the bud ASAP without being obvious that you’re desperately trying to escape. We’ve got four moves that soften the blow when it comes to dropping the unwanted baggage:

1. The bathroom bailout: If there’s one safe haven for collegiettes in a college bar or house party, it’s (hopefully) the bathroom. Free of all males, a bathroom break gives you an opportunity send a few “SOS” texts to your friends so you can regroup and avoid seeing your Prince Not So Charming.
2. The drop out: While you’re talking, “accidently” drop your keys to the floor. Oh no, you can’t lose your keys! As you’re on the floor “trying to find them,” discretely crawl away from your original location. Sanitary? Absolutely not. But desperate times call for desperate measures.
3. The “old” friend run-in: If there’s no viable escape route, grab the closest girl at the bar or party and say something along the lines of, “Hey! It’s Ally from World Civ freshman year! Remember?! How have you been, girlfriend?!” and converse with her until your pushy pursuer finds another girl to hit on.  She’ll probably be embarrassed that she’s “forgotten” you and go along with it. Genius.
4. The diversion: Ask him, “Hey, can you read me the name of the Russian vodka up there? Yeah, that one all the way on the top shelf; can you see it?” While he’s squinting and leaning in to read it, you’re running and hiding somewhere far away.

3. The Obvious Escape

This is a special protective measure for the gift that keeps on giving—the chronic creeper. Actually, he’s not much of a gift at all. He’s that sleazeball that always hugs you for a little too long when you two first run into each other, the guy that has not stopped texting you since you made the mistake of giving him your number a few weeks ago, or perhaps the boy that insists on hitting on you weekend after weekend despite being very much in a relationship with someone you know. We’re talking about the guy that ignores your multiple attempts to establish that you are most definitely not interested, and who continues, weekend after weekend, to force you into long and uncomfortable encounters with him while you’re out.

The chronic creepers are out there, and if you’ve ever been the victim of their affections, you know they must be stopped. Our advice? Clearly, he doesn’t pick up well on subtle social cues, so buck up and bluntly get him to back off, preferably by using one of our dependable and direct methods of communication: 

1. Do a full-fledged about-face as soon as you see him coming towards you.
2. When he tries to yell over to you, become immediately enthralled with the drink specials sign or beer pong game and act like you can’t hear him.
3. Cling to your wingman, best guy friend, or really any other guy within a 10-foot radius once you’ve been spotted.
4. Mouth, “Give it up!” from across the bar as he orders you a drink he thinks you’ll be obligated to accept from him.

4. The Conveniently Timed Emergency Informant

This is a stealth getaway maneuver that requires the buddy system, but is highly effective. The setup is simple: First, establish a series of emergency phrases to use when you’ve found yourself in an inevitable and inescapable creep situation. After giving a predetermined, nonverbal signal, have your friend approach the two of you, and in a loud, intensely serious tone, drop one of the following phrases and watch him book it:

1. “Jenny’s in the bathroom sobbing because she’s having a ton of really personal problems with boys and hormones and needs to talk to you… I guess your friend can come if he wants?”
2. “I’m going to hurl everywhere at any moment. I feel like a nauseous ticking time bomb; I could upchuck on literally anyone!!”
3. “Kegs tapped.”

Or, get a little more creative with one of these…

1. “The bird has left the nest. I repeat: the bird has left the nest. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.”
2. “It’s happening.” (No need to specify what “it” is; we highly doubt he’ll ask questions.)
3. “We’ve got a code blue at three o’clock. It’s go time.”

An added bonus to the last three is that he’ll either think that you’re a foreign spy of some sort or completely off your rocker, both of which will likely be effective in getting him to scram.

5. The “Turning The Tables” Approach

As girls, we know the cardinal rule to scoring that guy you’ve had your eye on is playing it cool and just a little hard to get, in order to avoid coming off as too eager. While this may be well established, a littler known fact is that the “play it cool” effect works in reverse as well. When faced with a guy who just won’t quit, try throwing in one of these conversation pieces in the mix and watch him run faster than a freshman at house party that’s just been busted:

1. “Are you free next weekend? My parents, three older brothers, Grandma, Aunt Becky, and cousin Sue would just LOVE to meet you!”
2. “Have I showed you the wedding dresses I’ve picked out for myself on Pinterest? If only finding a groom was this easy!”
3. “So… how excited are you for parenthood?!”
4. “My ex and me? I think once the restraining order he has against me expires we could work things out.”
5. “[Insert your first name] [insert his last name], certainly has a ring to it, donchathink?!”

So whether you’re a creep magnet or only have to deal with them once in a while, be sure to keep our guide on hand to ensure one doesn’t ruin your night. There’s a saying in football: “the best offense is a solid defense” (or something like that), so come prepared so you can embrace your evening out, creep-free. Cheers, collegiettes!

Name: John Huryn
Year: Technically a Junior

What do you mean technically?
Well, I’ve been here 2 and a half years. I changed my major the last day of sophomore year. So I’m gonna be here for a while.

So what’s your major now?
Civil Engineering

What do you want to do with that degree?\aMake money and cash checks.

Campus Involvement:
PR Officer in the Outdoor Adventure Club and I’m in Beta Upsilon Chi

Who is your favorite band/artist?
Kings of Leon

Describe Auburn women in three words. Driven, naturally beautiful

Celebrity crush: Taylor Swift

What would you say if you ever met Taylor Swift?
"What’s Our Song sound like?"

Name: Eric Bolduc
Hometown: Dixfield, Maine
Relationship Status: In a relationship
Sign: Taurus

Campus Life
Major: Microbiology Minor: Chemistry & Pre-Med
Favorite thing about UMaine: The small town vibe
How are you involved on campus: Sigma Phi Epsilon, Class of 2014 Council, Operation H.E.A.R.T.S.,
Favorite place to eat in Orono: Pat’s Pizza
Best place to meet girls at UMaine: Community Service Events
Why did you choose UMaine: Got recruited to be a Kicker on the Football team and the wide range of majors it has to offer. 
Best Professor: Anne Hanson
Best Class: Organic Chemistry
Worst Class: English 101
How do you like to spend your weekends here:

Miscellaneous
What is on your ipod's top rated: Taylor Swift
Boxers or Briefs:  Briefs
An embarrassing confession: I twirl my hair
Ski or Snowboard:  Ski
Salty or Sweet:  Sweet
Cats or Dogs:  Dogs
Dream job: Researching Orcas
Biggest Pet Peeve: Laziness
Three words to describe yourself: Hard working, Motivated, Athletic

Favorites

Favorite song to dance to at a party: I can’t dance
Favorite food: Homemade Mac N’ Cheese
Favorite Beer: Molson Export
Favorite App (game or otherwise): Pulse

Name:Steve Grune
Hometown: Darien, CT
Major: Environmental Science and Geology
Class Year: 2016

The Basics

Favorite book: On the Road by Jack Kerouac
Favorite Movie: The Sandlot
Favorite Store: Bed Bath and Beyond
Most Played Song on your ipod: We are Never Ever Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift
Favorite Class at Bucknell: NAP101 with Professor Snoozeberry
Campus Activities: Varsity Swim Team, Bird Watching, Tree Climbing
Campus Posse: Chortiz, You Already Know, Wesley Schneider, Babar, TrevCakes, DJ Billy K, and the Best of the Rest
General Interests: Anything with water, Travelling, Lifting big heavy man weights, Doodling, Vacuuming, Cooking, Slothing, breaking a mental sweat, coordinating outfits with my family
Little Known Fact: I sleep with a stuffed animal named MoMo

Girls, Girls, Girls

Relationship: Single and Ready to Mingle
What do you look for in a girl: Athletic, Attractive, Chill, Knowledgable
Female turnoff: Nose Picking
Celebrity Crush: Blake Lively

Best of the Rest

Proudest Accomplishment: Participated in the worlds largest custard pie fight
Where do you see yourself in 10 years: A trophy husband
3 words to describe yourself: God Bless America

Her Campus Conn College is back in session and we would like to introduce you to this semester’s first Campus Cutie: Doug Garabedian. Over break, we received an overwhelming amount of CC nominations; however, this Campus Cutie definitely took the cake. A freshman at Conn, Doug can be found dominating on the soccer field… and clearly making an impression on the ladies. When asked about Doug, one freshman said, “Nice guy. Good looks. I don’t hate it.” So, here is the man who is getting quite the buzz around campus…

Name: Doug Garabedian
Hometown: Salem, MA (Witch City)
Major: Undeclared
Dorm: JA

How are you involved at Conn?
I am on the Men's soccer team. I also participated in the KBA program first semester.
 
If you could have one super power, what would it be?
The ability to fly, obviously.
 
If you were stranded on an island, what three items could you not live without?
My Whey Protein, complete DVD set of FRIENDS seasons, and Taylor Swift
 
Who is your idol and why?
My Dad is my idol. He is everything I aspire to become.
 
If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be?
Barcelona.
 
How do you feel about being this week's Campus Cutie?
I honestly did not know what it was, but it made me smile. Billy Hawkey would make a great campus cutie.
 
Describe Conn in one word.
Camel-swag.

Name: Greg Kilcommons
Nickname: Kilco
Hometown: Medfield, Massachusetts
Relationship Status: In a relationship
Sign: Pisces 

Campus Life

Major: Political Science
Favorite thing about UMaine: The Rec Center by a long shot
How are you involved on campus: Proud Alumni of Sigma Nu. Yes that says Sigma Nu. Also Veterans Club and am still in the Marine Reserves.
Favorite place to eat in Orono: OHOP has never done me wrong
Best class: International Terrorism
Worst class: Math. If it’s beyond PEMDAS, it’s beyond me.
How do you like to spend your weekends here: Typically either at the fraternities or just stay local near my place at the Grove. But considering we’ve reached the point where Gorilla Glue is all that is holding our dining table’s chairs together, we’ll see how long that lasts.

Miscellaneous

What is on your ipod’s top rated: EDM with a dash of country music
Boxers or Briefs: Boxer-briefs all the way.
An embarrassing confession: It’s tradition for my roommates and I to start off every Friday night by either listening to the National Anthem, a Ronald Reagan speech, or all of us singing “We Are Never Getting Back Together” by Taylor Swift.
Ski or Snowboard: Neither
Salty or Sweet: Sweet.
Dream job: Management in a financial investment company
Biggest pet peeve: Hipsters, liars, and the UMaine Parking staff.
Favorite guilty pleasure: Snapchat. Anywhere, anytime, and any situation is fair game.
Three words to describe yourself: Funny, Responsible, Selfless

Favorites

Favorite Barstool Segment: “Does this look like the face of…..”
Favorite quote: “Often Tested, Always Faithful, Brothers Forever”
Favorite song to dance to at a party: Sweet Nothing by Calvin Harris
Favorite food: Chicken breast
Favorite sports team: New England Patriots
Favorite beer: I’ll pass on the beer and go with Ciroc
Favorite app: Snapchat

The Nitty Gritty

Craziest place you’ve had sex: A church parking lot in bath salt Bangor.
How do you let someone know you’re interested in them: Make good small talk and make them laugh.
What do you want girls to know about you: I’m thoughtful, level-headed, and have my priorities in order.
What do you look for in a girl: A sense of humor, trustworthy, tall, intelligent, and selfless
Deal-breaker: A liar
Celebrity Crush: Mila Kunis

Name: Chris Gross
Hometown: Wasilla, Alaska.  I lived there for most of my life until college.
Major: Medicine, Health, and Society
Campus Involvement: Bio sucks the life out of my campus involvement so basically I am just an RA in Towers.
Relationship status: None.

 
Favorite and least favorite things about Vanderbilt:  I like flank steak on Wednesdays in Chef James. I hate the standardized calc test...
 
Career goals: I want to be a doctor....Global Health, probably in Guatemala. 
 
Hobbies: I like to go fishing and hunting.
 
Celebrity crush: Taylor Swift
 
Why he chose Vanderbilt: Mostly because Taylor Swift lived close by and it is warm. 
 
What he looks for in a girl: If she is going to make more than me so I can retire and stay home when we are married.

Name: Garrett Maternick
Year: Sophomore
Major: Education
Hometown: Hackettstown, New Jersey
Relationship Status: Single 

Favorite Place To Eat On Campus: P-Tux

What You Like To Do For Fun: Snowboard, Sing Taylor Swift, Hang out with friends, Surf, Watch Netflix

Hidden/ Special Talents: Good Cook

Three Words to Describe Yourself: Fun, Outgoing, Athletic

Favorite Movie: Remember the Titans

Favorite Genre of Music: Country

Name:Eddie Yacynych
Year: 2014
Major: Math
Hometown: Ellicott City, MD
Relationship Status: Single

On-Campus residence: Denton
Involved with anything on campus: Maryland Cheerleading (Spirit Squad)
Celebrity Crush: Taylor Swift
Favorite feature in a girl: Eyes
Pet Peeve: When ppl spell thngs lik dis
An interesting fact about yourself: I'm a national and international champion jump-roper. I've been jumping for 13 years and am a member of the USA Jump Rope All Star Team.

Name:Greg Ladd
Year: 2014
Major: Undecided
Dorm: Treworgy
Hometown: Danvers, MA

Favorite Dining Hall: The Dane Train
On Campus Activities: Quarterback on Football Team, Pitcher on Baseball Team
Interests: Chillin with the bros, Ballin', Mackin', Lookin' fresh
Relationship Status: Single
Favorite song: Mine by Taylor Swift
Three things you can't live without: Nike kicks, Madden, My Mom
What you look for in a girl: Nothing specific.  Just someone with a lot of love, because I'll be loving right back.

Greg had too many nominations to count; that really says something!  And combined with his awesome answers to our cutie questionaire, who could turn this guy down!?
 

The summer has a bit of a magical element to it. The air is sweet, the sun is hot—and is it just us, or do the boys look cuter? It’s the perfect recipe for a sexy whirlwind romance free of hassles, commitment, and drama! Read on for tips on how to snag the kind of summer fling that you thought was only possible in the movies.

1. DO get rid of that old flame who has been holding you back.

Whether it’s an ex-boyfriend or a love interest that just doesn’t seem to be heading anywhere, now is the time to do away with anything that may be holding you back from having a carefree summer fling. Cut the cord on these stale romances and explore other possibilities. Nicole, a senior from University of Pittsburgh, did just that. “I wasted half the summer before I realized that we were just stringing each other along with no future in sight,” Nicole says. “It was fun for a little, especially during the boring winter months, but I knew it was time to end it when I looked at all my friends meeting new guys and having fun.” Don’t keep a guy around who’s dragging you down when there are so many other opportunities out there!

2. DO finally make a move on the guy you’ve had your eye on for a while.

We all have that one guy who has always caught our attention, but for some reason, things have never gone too far beyond, “Hey, how’s it going?” According to Molly, a junior from Duquesne University, there’s no better time than summer to change that. She had always been a little nervous and hesitant to get too close to Richie* until one hot night in June when she found herself hanging out with friends on his back porch.

“We were talking, listening to music, and the weather was perfect,” she says. “I decided that there wasn’t ever going to be a better time or place to put myself out there, so I finally hinted that I was interested in him. It paid off because we definitely took our relationship to a new level after that!”

Summertime is for relaxation, so it’s the perfect time to let go of your nerves and put yourself out there. Who knows; he could be waiting for you to make a move!

3. DO go out with a guy who isn’t your usual type.

We all saw how well it turned out for Allie and Noah, didn’t we? This summer, don’t be afraid to give that random guy you met at the Kenny Chesney concert a chance! It’s good to get outside of your comfort zone a little every now and then, and you may find that you’re pleasantly surprised when you do.

4. DO use the warm weather to your advantage.

This may seem obvious, but don’t forget to take advantage of the summer heat! Instead of just sticking to your standard dinner-and-a-movie date night agenda (yawn), head out to the outdoors. Think drive-in movies, outdoor bars, hiking, kayaking, and stargazing. Being outdoors together is a different bonding experience than being indoors, so grab your guy and go on an adventure. On a sexier note, higher temperatures can make for a hotter hook-up, so get a little frisky in the park or take a nice (skinny) dip in the lake together.

5. DO keep it a little mysterious.

If you’re lounging around by the pool or having a boring day at work, it can be tempting to pull out your cell phone and text your summer fling for some idle conversation: “Hey, what are you doing?” or “Work is so slow today!” It seems harmless, but it’s best to reserve these texts for your friends. Staying in constant contact with your guy will zap the mystery out of the relationship, and when you do finally get to hang out, you won’t have much to talk about since you’ve already told each other about your entire days! Keeping each other guessing will keep things exciting, so let him wonder what you’re doing all day; he’ll be anticipating the moment when he finally hears from you.

6. DON’T blow off group outings in favor of alone time.

During the winter months, it’s okay for you and your guy to hole up over the weekend for a few lazy movie nights. It’s cold, you have a ton of schoolwork hanging over your head, and half the time you’re too tired from studying all week to do much else. But the summer is a time where you should be letting loose and being social. Instead of spending so much alone time, go out in groups and spend time with his and your pals. After a night out with friends, he’ll be even more excited to get some one-on-one time with you.

7. DON’T have long-term expectations.

Expectations are the root of all disappointment, so your only expectation for your summer fling should be to have fun. While it’s fine to be open to the possibilities of where things could go, you shouldn’t be holding out for a certain outcome. Summer flings are all about physical chemistry, mutual respect, and the recognition that things are most likely short-term. You can always wait ‘til the end of the summer before you think about if you want to keep things going in the fall—for now, just have fun!

8. DON’T feel pressured to DTR.

The summertime is about relaxation and enjoying life, so don’t feel like you need to have everything figured out. Instead of stressing over what your relationship status on Facebook should be, just enjoy spending time with your guy. Allow the relationship to naturally progress, and as the summer winds down, you should have an idea of where things are heading.

Kayle, an alumna from Kent State University, did exactly that and couldn’t be happier with how things turned out. “I met Justin* at a bar at the beginning of last summer and immediately fell for him. We never really had a discussion about exclusivity or ‘dating’ or anything; all we knew is that we loved spending time together,” she says. “Once the school year rolled around, it was so natural for us to be around each other and everything just felt right. We eventually made things official, but there was never any forced ‘what are we?’ talk. I feel like if there would have been, it would have just put unnecessary pressure on both of us.”

Remember: the most important “do” of a summer fling is to have fun! Try out these tips and get ready for your hottest, most unforgettable summer yet!

*Names have been changed.

You were there when your friend was caught in the throes of a massive crush. You were there after the first date while she overanalyzed her every sentence, hoping that her date would call her. You were there when he did - and when subsequent dates eventually led to a full-on relationship. A supportive collegiette would be happy to see a friend find someone. But what if that ‘someone’ happened to make your skin crawl at the mere mention of his name?

Just because a friend has fallen in love with someone, doesn’t mean that you will feel the same excitement when you meet him. We asked collegiettes across the country if they have ever hated their friends’ significant others. The good news? If you have a friend that is dating someone less than spectacular, you definitely aren’t alone!

Unfortunately, this puts you in a delicate position. How do you balance maintaining your relationship with your friend against the fact that she’s dating someone you find terrible? Do you say something and risk losing a friend or suffer in silence? Luckily, Her Campus has 5 steps to help you manage the situation and make peace with your friend’s significant other:

Step 1: Look At Your Friendship First

Perhaps you have a friend who has been living the single life for quite some time. It isn’t your fault, but at some point you’ve gotten used to the fact she isn’t ‘attached.’ When you start to feel hostility towards your friend’s new boyfriend, could it be that he isn’t the real cause?

“When my best friend first got into a relationship with a guy after being single for a long time, I had a hard time liking him. Eventually I realized that it was less about the guy she was dating and more about how our relationship had changed. I was just redirecting my frustration. When a friend gets into a romantic relationship it can really change your overall friendship and that’s what I was mad about,” says Emily, a sophomore at the University of Illinois.

In this instance, the significant other is not the real issue. The real issue lies between you and your friend… and possibly a little jealousy over the fact that you are probably getting less attention from her. So how do you cope with this change?

Expert Advice: “Be honest. Are you jealous of the new relationship? You might be holding the wrong person responsible because your friend is suddenly not as available as she was before. If this is the case, tell your friend you're feeling a little left out and would love to see her more,” says April Beyer, Dating Expert and Founder of Beyer & Company, a personal matchmaking firm.

Still, your friend isn’t likely to ditch her new love for you at your beck and call. You may have to deal with being around her and her boyfriend together on occasion, even after you tell her how you feel. Which leads to the second step…

Step 2: Get to Know Him Better

While sometimes it could be the change alone that’s bothering you, other times your friend’s significant other may have given you a terrible first impression. Your best friend should be dating someone who deserves her and lives up to all of your expectations, right? Well, the odds of him living up to perfection aren’t great. If he seemed shy and cold to you at first, he could have just been nervous to meet you (you are the one with the expectations to meet, after all). Start to fix the situation by giving him a second chance. You would want the same done for you!

“Focus on what about him she likes and try to see the good in him. If he still drives you crazy, make sure to schedule a weekly ‘girls only’ night with your friend. If he makes your friend happy, don’t try to drive him away,” suggests Grace, a senior at University of Pennsylvania.

Expert Advice: “Offer up solutions to bring the three of you closer together. Invite them to lunch. Go out of your way to do something nice for your friend's partner. See what happens when you come from a place of friendship and generosity,” advises Beyer.

Step 3: If You Don’t Have Something Nice To Say…

If your feelings about your friend’s significant other are reaching a peak, it can be tempting to vent to a third party. But, if you do vent to a mutual friend, it will only escalate the drama of the situation.

Expert Advice: “It's not YOUR relationship, so unless you're asked [by a mutual friend], hold your tongue. It could easily backfire and you might end up on the outside of the friendship. Everyone loves to shoot the messenger!” says Beyer.

And if you hear that the significant other is not treating you with the same respect? Don’t fight fire with fire:

“One of my best friends got a girlfriend who was really wary of me because of how close he and I were. For a good year and a half or so I’d hear stories about how he would fight with her just to invite me to his birthday, and how she was badmouthing me behind my back. Here’s how you shouldn’t handle it: don’t ever talk bad about her behind her back either. I was really immature and I’m sure some of what I said probably got back to her, and I’m sure they must’ve hurt her feelings, too. My friend and I never talked about it, but he was definitely aware of what was going on,” says Annie, a junior at University of Chicago.

You won’t regret taking the high road!

Step 4: Speak Up (But Only if the Boyfriend is Truly a Bad Egg)

If you’ve given the guy and a try for a while but still don’t like him, chances are it’s more than just the change in your own friendship that’s bothering you. It could be that the guy is just bad news, but it might just be your opinion. So, do you share your thoughts with your friend? Collegiettes have differing opinions about this step. Should you be honest with your friend about how you’re feeling or should you wait it out so that you don’t hurt your friendship?

“From my own past experience where the roles were switched, it’s better to do nothing. When she (complains about a problem in her relationship) mention in a positive way, ‘I just don’t think you’re right for each other.’ Aside from that, putting your friend in a position of choosing (between you and her man) is probably the worst thing you could do. The only way she will figure it out is on her own. And (you) will be right there to support her when it finally falls apart,” says Hillary, a junior at Bryant University

“I think in general, it is important to try to be accepting of all of the different kinds of guys that your friends may be interested in. But, I also think that if your friend pursues a guy who you feel is not a good guy, it is incredibly important to voice your opinion. As long as you keep your friend's best interests at heart, you cannot go wrong. It is also important to remember that your friend values your opinion, so if she asks for it, be honest... or you might come to regret it in the future!” says collegiette Annie.

Expert Advice: “Ask yourself WHY you don't like this person. Is your friend being harmed in any way from this relationship? Physically? Emotionally? The only reason to say something is out of protection for your friend. Otherwise, it's best to keep your feelings to yourself,” offers Beyer.

If your friend’s safety is at stake and you do feel that you need to say something, start the conversation by saying something along these lines: “It makes me really happy to see you in a relationship that makes you happy. But, lately I’ve been feeling like your relationship is creating situations that are concerning/unfair to me. Could we find a way to work past this so it doesn’t hurt our friendship?”

Don’t make the issue about her significant other right off the bat (as this may scare your friend off before you’re able to fix anything). Put the focus on you and your friend and how your friendship will be in the future. Maybe your friend will give you insight into his or her relationship that will explain some of the things that are bothering you!

Which leads us to the bottom line and final step of conquering your conflict…

Step 5: Make Your Friend Your Priority

As much as we may like to, we can’t control whom our friends date. If you love your friend (which we assume you do), ask yourself this question: Has she been happier since she got into a relationship? If the answer is yes, then you have to focus on that and let animosity go.

Expert Advice: “You are not on this planet to teach your friends how to have better relationships. It's not your job or your place. Be there for guidance and support when called upon. Whatever you do, if the relationship breaks up don't say, ‘I told you so.’ Relationships are our teachers. Sometimes you have to go through the bad ones in order to learn what's right and good for yourself. Don't cheat anyone out of their own experience,” says Beyer.

In an ideal world, our friends’ significant others would fit perfectly into our friend groups and even become new friends of our own. Unfortunately, they don’t always fit that mold or meet to the high standards we feel our friend deserves. When this happens, ALWAYS keep your friend’s happiness your priority. The person who makes her happy may not make complete sense to you. Luckily, you’re not the one who has to be in your friend’s relationship!
 

For collegiettes, there’s nothing worse than feeling like you’ve really hit it off with a guy… only to have him pull away or stop speaking to you for what seems like no reason. Or perhaps you have trouble getting guys to even approach you in the first place. We talked to 10 college guys to find out what their biggest turnoffs are when it comes to girls. Check out our guide below to see if you’re turning off possible boyfriends without even realizing it.

1. “Girls that are overly emotional. If they’re clingy, have mood swings often, or [get] upset easily, I can’t handle it.”––Adam, Davidson College ‘13

Public freak-outs, blowing issues out of proportion, and crying often aren’t only red flags for guys, but they should be for you as well.

“When a girl is dissatisfied with a relationship, she's more moody. So, moodiness becomes a red flag, warning the guy that she's angry at him for something but is holding it in for now,” says Carol Lieberman, M.D., psychiatrist and author of Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets. “In other words, moodiness tells him to run for his life.”

If you find yourself feeling moody or emotional often in a relationship, you’re probably not that happy with it to begin with. Remember, your happiness should be your priority, and it’s important to look at your relationship in the “big picture” context, paying close attention to how it’s making you feel on a regular basis.

2. “If I don’t get the vibe that the girl is someone I could trust, I usually won’t pursue her. Trust and honesty are very important to me.”––Lawrence, Georgetown University ‘14

This one may seem obvious, but you could be giving subtle hints that you’re not trustworthy without meaning to. Do you text other guys while out on dates? Or do you have a tendency to be flirtatious with other people while you’re out, even when you’re with someone you’re interested in? While there’s nothing wrong with a little mystery and playing the field, if a relationship is what you’re after, keep in mind the overall impression a guy is getting from you during your first interactions. “A girl can inadvertently show that she’s untrustworthy by hanging too closely around exes or by how much she cares about and respects her friends and family,” says Lieberman. Although it’s boys who tend to have a bad rap when it comes to trustworthiness, collegiettes can also be just as guilty of coming off as sketchy or dishonest, even if that’s not their intention.

3. “Girls who get way too drunk on a regular basis. When I see a beautiful girl acting sloppy and ridiculous, it’s a huge turnoff and, honestly, a disappointment.”––Alex, Salisbury University ‘13

We’ve all known that one girl who can’t seem to control her alcohol consumption. While she’s great sober, once she reaches the point of no return, her “fun night out” turns into a drunken mess that often results in bad decisions and blackouts. Not only is this behavior dangerous for a number of reasons, but getting super sloppy certainly doesn’t help one’s chances with the opposite sex. Instead of having great conversations with quality guys, collegiettes who are too drunk too often just end up hanging off them and speaking incoherently—definitely not a charming way to become acquainted with someone.

Perhaps Dr. Lieberman sums up best why drinking heavily and attracting a good guy don’t mesh well: “Girls who binge drink around guys do so because they feel awkward and undesirable, but they are ultimately asking for trouble,” she says. “Guys who are attracted to girls who are drinking a lot are only out for one thing––and it's not a relationship!”

4. “I hate it when girls dumb themselves down. Smart really is sexy; that’s not just a saying.”––Ryan, University of Maryland ‘13

We know you collegiettes have beauty and brains, so make sure you’re showing the intellectual side of you off to the gentlemen in your life! Being able to carry on an intelligent conversation with someone is a lot more appealing than you may realize, and it helps show potential partners just how much you have to offer.

“When a woman ‘serves’ a man by trying to downplay her intelligence, it's a turnoff,” explains Alison Chace, creator of relationship advice site Pink Wisdom. “However, when a woman expresses her desires clearly and allows the man to serve her pleasure, it's a turn-on for a guy.”

While some gals want to avoid coming off as too serious or intimidating, we have a feeling that more guys than just Ryan are attracted to girls who prove they’re more than just a pretty face. And if a guy isn’t into your intelligence? Odds are he’s not worth being into in the first place.

5. “[The] biggest turnoff for me has to be smoking cigarettes. Maybe if it's at a party or something that's fine, can't say I haven't done that, but if you're one of those girls going out for a smoke between classes—yuck.”––Andy, San Francisco State University ’13

We hate to break it to you, collegiettes, but this is kind of a no-brainer. Not only is smoking harmful to your lungs and overall health, but it’s pretty much regarded as disgusting by the majority of the male population. Do your health (and your dating life) a favor and just don’t smoke. If you use smoking to relieve stress, try hitting the gym instead! A study completed by the Anxiety and Depression Association of America found that “aerobic exercise has been shown to decrease overall levels of tension, elevate and stabilize mood, improve sleep, and improve self-esteem.” Not to mention it’s actually beneficial to your health, unlike smoking.

6. “Appearance is important. A big turnoff is girls who wear too much makeup or don't take care of themselves.” ––Matthew, University of the Sunshine Coast ‘16

Alright, collegiettes, we know when you hit the town on Fridays and Saturdays you look amazing, but what about the rest of the week? Unfortunately, the guys you meet at the bars are also the guys on campus Monday through Friday, and sweatpants four out of five days of the week are just not a good look. We know when you’re hungover or tired from studying it’s hard to find the time to worry about your appearance, but dressing nicely on campus can give you a valuable self-esteem boost as well!

Conversely, if you find yourself going heavy on the eyeliner even before the gym or reapplying your foundation every hour on the hour, it may be time for a makeup intervention. Not only do you want to avoid coming off like you’re trying too hard, you could be wearing too much makeup because you’re not comfortable enough in your own beautiful skin, and you should be! Don’t hide behind loads of makeup; let your natural beauty show through. Looking your best starts with feeling your best, and there’s no denying that confidence has and will always be a gal’s best accessory.

7. “A girl’s gotta have class. No class, no shot.” ––Stephen, Salisbury University ‘13

There’s a reason women like Audrey Hepburn, Jackie O, and Grace Kelly are still such prevalent icons today (and we bet Ke$ha won’t be in 50 years). When a girl acts with poise and dignity, she can’t help but attract quality guys! However, in today’s world it’s difficult for classy collegiettes to hold to their standards without coming off as prudish or disinterested.

We talked to Kim Olver, author of the award-winning book Secrets of Happy Couples: Loving Yourself, Your Partner and Your Life. “The way a person dresses, the makeup she wears, table manners, and how she communicates all contribute to first impressions,” she says. “Guys will rarely turn down something easily accessible—but they may not want to be seen with you out in public afterwards.”

In other words, becoming mindful of the way you’re presenting yourself when you’re out at bars and social functions (yes, even after drinking) will help prevent potential partners from getting the wrong idea about you. Nothing wrong with a little flirting, though! “A guy has to know that there is at least a possibility of getting intimate in the future,” Olver adds.

8. “My biggest pet peeve is when a girl can’t hold her own around my friends. If she’s clinging to me the entire time or annoyed that all of my attention isn’t on her, that’s a huge red flag.”––Paul, Montgomery College ‘14

Remember that no matter how much your guy likes you, he’s probably also very invested in his relationships with his roommates, teammates, and fraternity brothers. It’s important to be independent and show him that you can have a good time while letting him do his own thing when you’re in the same social situation.

“Becoming clingy may indicate your own level of security,” Olver says. “I would recommend that when in large groups you leave your guy to talk to other people and check back in from time to time.” Along with this, she also warns against taking this too far and talking to other guys with the intention of making your man jealous. “That’s never healthy for relationships,” she says

9. “If I can’t see myself being friends with her then I definitely can’t see myself wanting to date her. I like a girl that can be herself around me and isn’t afraid to show her sense of humor.”––Chris, University of Pittsburgh ‘13

With what seems to be thousands of rules, tips, and tricks when it comes to approaching and conversing with guys, its no surprise a lot of girls freeze up for fear of doing something “wrong.” However, being yourself around guys not only keeps you from coming off as aloof or stand-offish, but shows them your true, brilliant, interesting, and hilarious self, and who would want to miss out on that? If your goal is to find a boyfriend, making sure you two are compatible in friendly conversation is the first step towards ensuring a healthy relationship.