As someone who is about to be in a long-distance relationship full-time, rather than just during the academic year, I know how tough long-distance relationships can be for a couple. Between the lack of time together in person, the endless electronic forms of communication, the travel, etc., it can leave you wondering, ‘Is this even worth it?’ Well let me tell you, it is if you want it to be! To allay your fears, I will outline what to expect from your long-distance relationship, and how to make it work. Keep your chins up, collegiettes!
 
MAKING IT WORK...

According to my poll of the Her Campus staff, nearly 87% of collegiettes have been in a long-distance relationship, so you are not alone! I have broken down the summer scenarios (study abroad, going home, staying at school, internship) into what to expect and the best tips on how to make it work for your situation. However, most of the tips and tricks will work for any type of LDR so make sure to read them all!
 
Studying Abroad
 
According to my poll, 21.4% of couples were long-distance due to studying abroad. “My boyfriend is headed to Spain this summer,” says Katrina, a student at the University of Wisconsin – Milwaukee. “I’m nervous about staying connected when we are so far apart physically.” If you or your boyfriend is studying abroad this summer, be prepared for electronic communication, insecurity due to the irregular communication, exciting stories to share with each other, and jealousy about the adventures he is experiencing without you.
 
“I imagine studying abroad would cause most couples to sweat it out, especially the partner who has to stay behind,” says Sylvia Shipp, long-distance relationship expert, author of The Long Distance Relationship Guidebook. “For this kind of LDR to work well, the person leaving would have to find ways to weave his/her partner into the new adventure so that it resembles an adventure a couple who were physically together would take.”
 
To make your relationship work while one of you is studying abroad, you can:

1. Make a Video
Unlike during the academic year, you cannot text or call each other randomly throughout the day. Instead, make a special video for your boyfriend so he can watch it whenever he misses you. You can create the video on your laptop and email it to him, create the video on Facebook and send it through a private message, or create a video and post it on YouTube (send him the link, of course!). “It can include areas of your life that are important and you wish to share, a tribute to your love, a song that has special meaning, a recording of your favorite spot where you last spent time together – it is unlimited what you can do,” says Stephen Blake, long-distance relationship expert, best-selling author of Long Distance Relationship Series. “The message is clear that you are taking the time and making an effort to make your time apart special and communicating in ways that touch the heart of your sweetheart from afar.”
 
2. Count the Weekends
While it may be tempting to have a day-by-day countdown until you next see each other, it can actually make the time seem longer, instead of shorter. “Count down how many weekends you have left before you see each other, rather than how many days,” says Dylan, a student at the College of William & Mary. “Counting the weekends you have left makes the time seem shorter.” Share the number with your boyfriend so each of you has a time frame to reference when you are missing each other.
 

Staying at School
 
When one of you stays at school over the summer, there will be a readjustment period as each of you gets used to the idea that you are no longer within ‘arm’s reach’, especially since campus will serve as a constant reminder of things the two of you share. “I’m staying at school this summer,” says Liz, a student at the University of Missouri. “My boyfriend will be at home, and I think he resents me a little for not returning home to him this summer.” If you or your boyfriend is staying at school this summer, be prepared for a readjustment period, high phone bills, feeling ‘out of the loop’ about campus events, and jealousy about spending time with school friends without you.
 
To make your relationship work while one of you is staying at school for the summer, you can:

1. Set Up a Nightly Phone Date
Since your schedules will probably vary from day-to-day, text each other in the morning to set up a time to talk that night. In this way, you can keep each other up-to-date on your lives, without a need for constant communication. “Having a nightly phone date was huge,” says Kelsey, a student at Emerson College. “It was a nice routine to get into while we were apart.”
 
2. Send Presents
While you do not need to send a huge present every week, even a small gift such as a pack of his favorite candy, or a mix CD will bring you closer together. “One of my best strategies for a successful long-distance relationship is to share tokens of love,” says Blake. “Use written notes, verbal praise, or gifts to express how wonderful your relationship is!” The small acts of appreciation will prove to your boyfriend how much you care about him and the relationship.
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Going Home

According to my poll, nearly 22% of couples were long-distance because of one person going home for the summer. If you are headed home this summer, your boyfriend is headed home, or you both are (to separate cities), then lucky you! This situation is probably the easiest to overcome. Since going home for the summer is somewhat expected of college students, neither of you will feel like you are sacrificing a part of your relationship for a new experience. If one of you is headed home this summer, or you both are, be prepared for meeting each other’s families, electronic communication, potential jealousy (exes, old friends, etc. may be home, too), and competing for time (he will want to reconnect with his home life).
 
To make your relationship work when one of you is headed home for the summer, you must:

1. Look Forward
Since my boyfriend and I only have weekends and holidays to look forward to spending together, I like to send him links to websites of things we will do together when we are in person. For example, I will be in New York this summer, and I know he is going to visit at least once. So I recently sent him a link to Serendipity’s website, and now he is looking forward to their frozen hot chocolate just as much as I am! “You will find that you, too, will thrive in this creative playful state,” says Shipp. “You transcend the ordinary in your search for new ways to express your love.”
 
2. Visit
If at all possible, plan a time to visit your boyfriend while he is at home (for ways to save while traveling, check out my past article: How to Save Money in Relationships). Not only will the time go faster if you have a set date to look forward to, you have the chance to truly connect when you visit his hometown. Make sure to meet his family, friends, and to spend time exploring where he grew up. Plan to split the cost of the trip or to meet halfway in order to make it easier on yourselves. “My girlfriend is going home for the summer, and so am I,” says Jeremy, a student at Indiana Wesleyan University. “I already have plans to visit her in June, and her family is really looking forward to meeting me.”

Internship
 
According to my poll, nearly 29% of couples were long-distance because of an internship in a different city for the summer. “You may want to experience certain things in life, travel or career, before making a commitment,” says Blake. “In this way, you may view a long-distance relationship as one of those ‘experiences’ in life.” If you or your boyfriend is spending the summer as an intern, be prepared for tight scheduling, electronic communication, an element of the unknown (new city, new friends, new job), and insecurity due to the unknown.
 
In order to make a LDR work while one of you is in a new city for an internship, you can:
 
1. Make a Movie Date
Thanks to the distance, it may seem counterintuitive to schedule a movie date – no, thank you, I do not want to see a movie alone and then discuss it with my boyfriend later. Thanks to Skype, you do not have to! “Skype has been a Godsend,” says Ashley, a student at the University of Missouri. “We like to watch movies ‘together’ via Netflix Instant –we share an account.” Since you will likely be tired after a long day of work, watching a movie together can be a great way to relax and enjoy each other’s company.
 
2. Spice It Up
Since you will likely be busy the majority of the day with work, and exhausted once you are home, it can be tough to keep the sex appeal alive. “One of my favorite tricks is to take a picture of yourself while you are getting ready in the morning, then send it to him during your lunch break,” says Dana, a student at Northwestern University. “The image of you in a bra and pencil skirt will have him imagining boss and naughty secretary scenarios all day long!” If pictures are not your thing, text him sometime during the day with an innuendo-filled message. Even something as tame as, “I wish you were here to distract me…” can throw a boy’s imagination into overdrive, especially one who has not seen his girlfriend in awhile!

POTENTIAL PROBLEMS AND HOW TO SOLVE THEM
 
I consulted two of the top LDR experts in the country to give you one-sentence solutions to your most common LDR problems.

• He is Giving Me Unwanted Space:“The best advice I usually give couples in both situations is to communicate intentions and feelings openly when either person notices the change in perceived space,” says Blake.
• A Pretty Girl Keeps Posting on his Facebook, and I Do Not Know Her:“To ensure its success, both partners must be open, trusting, and willing to show their feelings for the other without having the security of the usual available clues that point to loyalty,” says Shipp.
• I Feel Like We Are Growing Apart: “Set aside time to reflect on why you love your partner, and envision the day you will be together – come together and discuss your feelings with one another,” says Blake. 

If you need more advice, Sylvia Shipp’s book, The Long Distance Relationship Guidebook is available to purchase on Amazon.com. Stephen Blake’s Long Distance Relationship Series are available at a bookstore near you. You can also visit his website or Facebook page for more information.
 
No matter what, remember to do what works best for you as a couple. What worked for your friend while her boyfriend studied abroad may not work for you. Trust your instincts - it is up to you to make your relationship work and only you know how to do it best.
 

Sources:
College students from across the country
Stephen Blake, long-distance relationship expert, best-selling author of Long Distance Relationship Series, including Loving Your Long Distance Relationship; Loving Your Long Distance Relationship for Women; and Still Loving Your Long Distance Relationship
Sylvia Shipp, long-distance relationship expert, author of The Long Distance Relationship Guidebook

On any college campus, it’s a classic situation to casually hook up with a guy you may, or may not, know very well. What happens, though, when he becomes your go-to hookup? You’re not “together,” but no matter what other guys you talk to that night, you’ll always end up at his place. If this lasts for a few weeks, a month, or longer – are you unofficially dating?
 
Her Campus spoke with America’s Dating Doctor – the real life Hitch – David Coleman, along with college guys and girls about these long-term hookups to help us answer the question of: how casual is your long-term hookup?
 
*Most of the students in our survey chose to remain anonymous for privacy reasons.
 
It might be more serious than you thought if…
 
1. You’ve been hooking up for months (and months).

The first issue is deciding what qualifies as “long-term.” In our survey of forty-four college students from various schools across the country, fifty-four percent of respondents said that they consider a long-term hookup to be one lasting at least over one month. Eighty percent said sometime in the past they had been in, what they considered to be a long-term hookup. Another fifteen percent said they were currently in one.
 
Coleman says that the duration of a consistent hookup matters. “Once is an occurrence, twice is a repeat, three times is a pattern,” he says. “When you reach three times with the same person, you’re a couple.”
 
Sure, to those of us in college this might seem a little soon to be considering yourself a couple, but, after you’ve hooked up three times (without hooking up with anyone else between, of course), you’re probably more likely to call each other and make the hookups or hangouts even more common.
 
As Coleman says, “when a guy is hooking up repeatedly with the same girl, his friends will say ‘you’ve found a mattress partner,’ but when it continues for two months, three months, or longer, they’ll tell him, ‘I don’t care what you say, dude. That’s your girlfriend.’”
 
Once you get to hooking up with the same guy consistently for two or three months, or maybe even lasting an entire semester, you might start to feel as if you are actually in a relationship – you call each other at the end of the night to hang out (if you weren’t already hanging out earlier), and end up spending a significant amount of time together during the week.
 
“Most people don’t just hook up and then leave. You often hang out after, or outside of the hook up setting,” Coleman says. This, he adds, leads to “one or both of the people secretly falling for the other.”

One junior girl, who is currently in a 3-month-long hookup said she feels there are some mutual feelings of caring with her hookup guy. “It's still a ‘no strings attached’ thing, but we wouldn't still be hanging out if I was only seen as a booty call.”  Some nights, she says, they hang out but don’t ‘hookup’. “It can definitely be harder on your feelings, but I feel like there's a little bit more caring [in a long-term hookup] than a one night stand offers.”
 
Another junior girl in our survey said her 3-month-long hookup was casual for the first couple months, but then became more serious. “Usually a long term hook-up results in a relationship,” she says. “Which I think is better than a one-night stand.”
 
One junior boy even noticed his feelings for his current hookup of one month. “We still aren't boyfriend and girlfriend, but we definitely feel like we have obligations to each other that are more than sexual,” he said.
 
Make sure that you’re both on the same page though. If one person in the hookup thinks of the situation as more couple-like than the other, this can lead to serious hurt on that person’s end. Jealousy then becomes a huge factor.
 
2. You get upset when he talks to other girls.

Eighty percent of students in our survey said they considered their long-term hookup to be causal, or no-strings-attached. Yet seventy-nine percent said they would still be upset if they found out their hookup had hooked up with someone else. Does this mean we think our hookups, no matter how casual, should be exclusive?
 
To Coleman, this is just another indicator that regardless of whether it’s official, you and your hookup may be a couple. “The minute you hit long-term, you’ve become a couple,” he says. “And if one or both of you don’t have the same thing in mind for your relationship, watch how quickly the jealousy can come out.”
 
An example Coleman gives is: imagine you’ve been hooking up with the same guy at least twice a week for three weeks or more. “If he calls you one day and says he’s moved on to someone else, how would you feel?”  If the answer is terrible, upset, or frustrated, Coleman says this is because, although neither of you had discussed the situation, you may have felt like you two were a couple.
 
Ultimately, since these long-term hookups aren’t usually declared as exclusive, “jealousy always interferes when the other person finds someone else,” Coleman says. “If you’re jealous that he’s talking to another girl, or has pictures with another girl, you are, or want to be a couple.”
 
One junior guy at Syracuse University said that his hookup of one month was exclusive with no strings attached. But was he in a relationship? “It’s a grey area to say the least,” he says.
 
Pittsburgh University senior, Jordan, says, “If both people are clear that you are just hooking up then there is no reason to be upset if they hook up with someone else. However, if you have stated that it’s just hooking up, but you are doing so exclusively, then be as upset as you want!”
 
Although the amount of jealousy you have towards him to talking to other girls may not totally qualify as couple-status, it may indicate your feelings for him and that, perhaps, it is not quite as no-strings-attached as you had originally thought. Take note of how upset you get if, for example, he’s tagged in pictures with other girls. If you’re feeling that other girls should lay off your man, tread easily on the casualness of your hookup situation – you may be falling for him more than you realize.
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It’s probably just a hookup if…

1. The sex came before cuddling.

Whether it’s wanting a regular sexual partner, or being able to build an emotional connection over time, seventy-eight percent of students in our survey said they would prefer a long-term hookup over a one-night stand, or a two-night fling.
 
Alexa, a freshman at James Madison University says that long-term hookups can allow you to, “figure out if you would like to continue something with that person, and maybe turn it into a long-term relationship instead.”
 
Coleman, however, advises girls to be wary of how quickly they jump to sex, even with a hookup. “When I ask men, if a woman has sex with him the first time he meets her, will she meet his parents, ninety percent of them say no.”
 
Usually, casual sex before a regular non-sex hangout puts your situation on clear hookup-only status.  Coleman tells us, if you’re engaging in casual sex with a guy, it’s best not to assume that it will lead to a more meaningful, real relationship (although it certainly can).
 
Our college hook-ups may not always lead to “meeting the parents,” but Coleman explains what he means by this: generally, “the quicker a guy wants to have sex with a girl, the less long-term plans he has for her. If you think you could ever potentially want to date that person, don’t have casual sex with them.”
 
For us girls, this means, if you think eventually you may be looking for something more than just a hookup buddy, wait to have sex. Be careful about (excuse the pun) jumping on it right away, and then wishing it were more meaningful, and not just a hookup, later on.
 
Sometimes the casualness and casual sex that get the hookup started in the first place can be exactly what keeps it from turning into anything more serious in the future.
 
2. You would never want to date him.

Once you’ve been hooking up with the same guy for a month or more and your feelings about wanting to keep things casual have changed, you’re probably hoping that some time in the future he’ll want to date you – so you’ll just stick around until then.
 
It’s not always girls who are the commitment-hunters though. Both guys and girls in our survey said that there are several reasons they don’t want to turn their long-term hookups into relationships.
 
One junior girl surveyed said, “Sometimes guys are better hookups than boyfriends. Having the long-term hookup allows you to keep your options open and meet new people.”
 
A junior boy surveyed said, “if you want emotional attachment, it can get confusing with long-term hookups. When do emotions become involved? What if you start getting feelings for each other? There are a lot of complications; sometimes it’s just easier to have one or two night stands.”
 
Coleman says long-term hookups are sometimes a way for us to avoid dating people. “Hooking up gives you that security that you can tell your friends, ‘I’m all set, I have a guy,’” without being in a fully committed relationship.
 
Thirty percent of students said that dating their hookup partner would change the relationship. Coleman says part of this is that the “passion disappears, and the novelty wears off,” when it’s official.

So you want to have “the talk”…
 
If all you’re doing is hooking up, either late-night or some afternoon delight, perhaps it’s not best to bring up the relationship question just yet. However, if you and your hook-up hang out other than that, maybe a relationship conversation shouldn’t be far off.
 
Try starting the conversation off by telling him you hadn’t expected to want anything more when you first started hooking up, that way he doesn’t feel like you’ve been hiding anything from the beginning. Tell him you thought things could stay casual, but that you’re starting to have feelings for him. Be honest about how you feel, but don’t try to pressure him into a relationship. If it started off as just a hookup, remember that he still may not be interested in making things more serious. 
 
One senior girl surveyed said, “My long-term hookup, which lasted about a year, turned into a relationship after 12 months of swearing it would never go further. Then he admitted he was in love with me. Just because a relationship starts off on sex doesn't mean it can't be a whole lot more.”
 
On the other hand, Alexa from James Madison says, “if the guy you are hooking up with isn't interested in [dating], but you are, it could be like beating a dead horse. His feelings aren't going to change and you are keeping yourself in that miserable state longer than you should be.”
 
The only way you’ll really know how he feels though, is to ask, and be honest about how you feel. Who knows, maybe he’s been waiting for you to bring it up!
 
Before your next hookup…

The most important thing going into a hookup, whether it’s a one-night stand, a two-week fling, or a three-month hookup buddy, Coleman says, is to make sure you and your guy are one the same page.
 
“Be honest from the moment you meet,” he says. “If you don’t want a real relationship, say that upfront.”
 
If you’re not interested in dating, let him know that from the get-go. It will save you stressful situations and conversations down the road, if he knows what to expect. On the other hand, remember Coleman’s advice about being wary about casual sex if you are looking for a more meaningful relationship.
 
Whatever your hookup situation, Coleman adds, “never have unprotected sex with a casual sex partner.”
 
These long-term hookups can be fun and low-key, but always protect yourself sexually, and, as Coleman suggests, know that from the beginning, you and he are on the same page on where the hooked is headed.
 
 
Sources
College students from across the country
David Coleman, America’s Dating Doctor

Summer is coming up, and whether you’re crushing on the cute lifeguard or you’re ready for a summer of fun with your man, you’re bound to be looking for great date ideas! Have no fear, because HC is here with 50 awesome summer date ideas that you’re bound to love!

1. Have a picnic in the park.

2. Go backyard camping.

3. Go rollerblading.

4. Attend a screen on the green (some parks play movies in the summer! Look into whether or not your city does this!)

5. Go to a drive-in movie theater.

6. Take a trip to an amusement park.

7. Ride bikes.

8. Go to a baseball game.

9. Have a barbeque together.

10. Take dance lessons.

11. Go surfing if you live near the ocean, or hit up the wave pool at your local waterpark.

12. Stargaze on a clear night.

13. Take a canoeing trip.

14. Go fishing together.

15. Pick strawberries and blueberries and then make homemade pie.

16. Buy an ice cream maker, and make your own ice cream! While you’re at it, check out these ice cream sundae recipes that are awesome for summer!

17. Go garage sale hopping.

18. Fly a kite in the park.

19. Go swimming together.

20. Bring a blanket and sit on the lawn at an outdoor concert.

21. Make chocolate from scratch, and make chocolate-covered strawberries for a sweet and refreshing summer treat!  

22. When the weather is nice, go on a scavenger hunt for items you both love! You’ll get a chance to enjoy the sun and learn more about each other.

23. Hang out at a bonfire.

24. Check out a cool coffee shop and cool down with some iced coffee.

25. Go vintage shopping to escape from the heat.

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26. Ride segways.

27. Go rock-climbing.

28. Go on a hot air balloon ride.

29. Take a cooking class together so you can learn new recipes for your awesome picnic.

30. Go hike a mountain.

31. Go to a spa together to relax and escape the harsh summer sun.

32. Bungee jump together so you can really feel the summer breeze.

33. Go snorkeling together.

34. Visit a farm together.

35. Check out your local zoo.

36. Take a road trip together, and check out HC’s Guide to Summer Road Tripping!

37. Go camping.

38. Paint your bodies and get dressed up for a fun music festival.

39. See an outdoor play.

40. Go tubing.

41. Try a restaurant crawl. Eat outside to enjoy the summer breeze.

42. Go to the batting cages together.

43. Sail out on the water.

44. Hang out at the beach together.

45. Go golfing.

46. Go go-cart racing.

47. Play mini golf together.

48. Run through the sprinkler together.

49. Catch fireflies in a jar.

50. Hit the streets for a local summer festival. They’re filled with awesome artists and great food, so it’s a must-do for summer.

What is your favorite summer date idea? Let us know by commenting below!

Name:Elliot Grandia
Age: 21
Hometown: Rockford, MI
Major: Broadcast Journalism
Relationship status: Single
When are you graduating: May, 2013

What are your plans after graduation: Invent a new ice cream flavor and hopefully find a job.

Favorite Bar in East Lansing: Harper's or Rick's

What’s your favorite thing about MSU: I love the big atmosphere. You meet someone new wherever you go.

Favorite place on MSU campus: That's hard to pick one...Spartan stadium during the night games, anywhere during the fall when the leaves are changing, and of course inside Brody cafeteria.

What’s your party trick or hidden talent: Yodeling....and eating Conrads.

What attracts you to someone or what do you look for: Someone who has confidence, is adventurous, and has a contagious smile.

Perfect date: This will sound super cliche...but at home we have a lot of cool, scenic rivers, so probably canoeing or kayaking and finding a cool place to picnic and just talk.

Favorite Pick up line: If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don’t worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.

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Name: Derek Thiel
Hometown: Farmington Hills, MI
Age: 21
Major: Journalism/Communications
Relationship Status: Single

If you were stranded on an island, what three things would you bring?
Some reading materials, my phone, and my dog.

Boxers of Briefs:Boxers

Favorite spot to hangout on campus: Right outside Warriner Hall

Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes

What's the craziest thing you have ever done?
Got arrested this spring break in PCB the day before my 21st bday

Qualities do you admire in the opposite sex: Someone who understands sarcasm.

Favorite movie: Blow

Do you have any awesome or hidden talents?
Not really, I can bong a beer in under a second.

Hollywood Crush: Hayden Panettiere

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Name: Desmond Randall
Age: 22
Hometown: West Seneca, NY
Major: Print Journalism
Relationship Status: I want a girl when I want a girl, and when I don’t want a girl, I want a girl who understands that.

Memberships: Wide Receiver on the Football team; Dominating in Intramural Basketball (Team Top Flight).
Interests: Sports, writing, making Ro TV, and music
Boxer or Briefs: Briefs
Favorite Quality in a Girl: If they look good when they work out in simple workout clothes, hair up in a pony, spandex on and a workout tee.
What Girl Trend Do You Hate/Not Understand: That’s tough. I can tell you my favorite trend for a girl to wear though, gaucho pants. Actually, I hate when girls wear beat down Uggs, that are leaning and busted.
Favorite Way To Spend a Saturday: Winning a game, then getting it in with the team. 
Fun Fact: I don't know how to swim.

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Name: Sheldon Minor
Year: Junior
Major: Journalism
Status: Single

What specific qualities do you look for in a lover?
I’m a really active person, so I need someone that can keep up and who likes to work out as well. I don’t know, I guess I would say I’m a pretty laid back person, I try to be stress free as much as possible, so someone I can just hang out and relax with. I like someone who’s outgoing and fun who I can communicate with and talk to easily, um… and I need a girl that can watch sports and knows what is going on when we’re watching things! That’s so important beyond belief.

The best part of my day is ____________________?
I just love the sh*t out of breakfast.

What’s something you always have trouble with?
I’m in the school of journalism and I enjoy writing, but I always struggle with actually liking my writing, and so that’s kind of tough.

What does your inner child want right now?
My inner child wants to go on a gluten-filled rampage and eat every terrible piece of food that I can! I miss it so much. Bread is so good!

Mila Kunis or Kate Upton: Mila Kunis!

What was your favorite toy as a kid?
When I was like, six years old, my parents bought me a giant stuffed whale. It was bigger than me and I used to cuddle with it.

What are your passions?
My passions? Fitness is definitely a passion of mine and I always push to see what I can make myself do. Um, sports are a big part of my life, just because I’m always so impressed with what people are able to accomplish and I watch them to see all those great moments.

 What’s something most people don’t know about you?
That I was in the United States Air Force. It made me who I am in so many ways.

If a girl is interested in you, how would you want her to let you know?
I think just something simple, maybe asking me to hang out, you know? 'Cause I’m typically pretty shy and I don’t usually act on my feelings too often, so it’s kinda nice to be reassured that the mutual feeling is there.

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Name: Clark Shepard
Hometown: Yarmouth, ME
Relationship Status: Single
Sign: Scorpio

Campus Life
Major: Journalism
Favorite thing about UMaine: The parking, the weather, and hilltop. 
How are you involved on campus: I’m sometimes on it…
Favorite place to eat in Orono: Shouts to Bob and the Family Dog
Campus posse (name some friends): The Crosby Boys. You know who you are.
Best place to meet girls at UMaine: 62 Crosby St. Next question.
Why did you choose UMaine: I heard there were some good pizza places.
Best Class: Journalism
Worst Class: Everything else
How do you like to spend your weekends here: Easy Company at the Roost and late night Crosby ragers.

Miscellaneous
What is on your ipod's top rated: Tribe Called Quest, J Dilla, Gangstarr, and James Taylor
Boxers or Briefs: Boxer Briefs
An embarrassing confession: I watch Anchorman and Good Will Hunting every month. Religiously.
Ski or Snowboard: Ski
Salty or Sweet: Salty Sweet
Cats or Dogs: Dogs. Cats are worthless.
Dream job: Play-by-play announcer or Miranda Kerr’s cabana boy. Either one.
Biggest Pet Peeve: YOLO. That word has to die.
Three words to describe yourself: N-R-G…?

Favorites
Favorite Barstool Segment: Anything about Jenny Dell
Favorite song to dance to at a party: All Night Long – Lionel Ritchie 
Favorite food: Late night mac n’ cheese balls from the Dog
Favorite Beer: PBR
Favorite App (game or otherwise): Ruzzle and Shazam

The Nitty Gritty
Craziest place you've ever had sex: Beached lobster boat
How do you let someone know you're interested in them: If I offer you a crisp PBR, you’re wife material.
What do you want girls to know about you: I’m a good guy. Don’t be intimidated by my dance moves.
What do you look for in a girl: Smart, confident, and likes to laugh. Oh and can cook…I’m blowing way to much cash on delivery.
Deal-breaker: Smokes cigarettes. Your mouth tastes like tar…
Celebrity Man Crush: Tom F-ing Brady

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Full Name: Daniel C. Mazzei
Academic Year: Freshman
Hometown: Tewksbury, MA
Major: Journalism

Name: Chris Helton
Hometown: Charlotte, NC
Year: 2015
Major: Journalism and Mass Communication – Public Relations

Favorite Coldstone/Yopo Flavor: Oreo Cookie or Milk & Cookies (you have to go to Ben & Jerry’s for this one)
Where do you study? Davis, UL, other? 3rd Floor of the Union, Davis or my apartment
Fun Fact: I sing in the shower.
Motto: “Rather than looking forward in fear, look upward in faith.”
Campus Involvement: Carolina Association of Black Journalists Social Media Chair, Carolina Performing Arts Intern, Theater Delta, Roosevelt Institute – Arts and Cultural Policy Center (UNC ARTery)
What’s your favorite thing about Carolina? Besides the super-talented, nice people, it’s definitely the endless opportunities!
What do you like to do in your free time? Acting, goof around with my friends, run/workout, try new restaurantsWhat qualities do you find attractive in a girl? Generally, someone who’s down-to-earth, positive, intelligent and confident

What are your biggest turn-offs? Negativity is the worst!
Who is your celebrity crush? Beyoncé, Zoe Saldana, Penelope Cruz
What are you most proud of? 
I have a little sister and watching her grow up and mature has definitely made me a proud brother. Also, the friends/network I have built here at Carolina, and the habit of success that has come along with it.
So what do you plan to do after college? 
I plan to work either in corporate communications/branding for a top Fortune company or in some similar capacity for the government. Then I’m going to get an MBA and continue to work up the corporate/government ladder.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years? 
Settled into my career, hopefully in some management position, and settled into a committed relationship. Oh yeah, and traveling the world!

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Full Name: Kiernan Zehring
Academic Year: Freshman
Major: Journalism
Hometown: Roxbury, Connecticut
Relationship Status: Single
Astrological Sign: Cancer

 

Biggest turn-on: Intelligence, sense of humor, then looks.
Biggest turn-off: No manners.

Celebrity crush: Emma Stone.

Future goals/ambitions: Have a successful television production career, or any career as a successful entertainer.

Involvement at Emerson: I am an assistant producer and editor for GME’s weather segment, and a “Speechless” panelist on The Emerson Channel (Mondays at 8)

Hobbies/interests: Acting, Filmmaking, Watching TV, and adventuring.

Fashion trend for girls that you don’t understand: Jeggings.

First thing you notice about a girl: Teeth and eyes.

Theme song to your life:“Little Secrets” by Passion Pit

Most embarrassing song on your iTunes library:“Hips Don’t Lie” by Shakira… No comment

Best part of your Emerson experience so far: Working on “Speechless” on The Emerson Channel.

Idea of a perfect date: Dinner at a nice restaurant, then a trip to a movie.

Favorite movie quote: “Did I adequately answer your condescending question?” –Mark Zuckerberg (The Social Network 2010)

Guilty pleasure: “Halloweentown”

Best pick-up line: “Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, here’s my number. Text me if you’d like, but you shouldn’t call because that would feel awkward."

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Name: Charlie Merritt
Nickname: Beers
Hometown: C-town
Relationship Status: Single
Major: Journalism and English 

How are you involved on campus: Writer for the Maine Campus Sports Section
Favorite place to eat in Orono: OHOP past 1 am
Best Class: Any Class during syllabus week
How do you like to spend your weekend: With the people I like most, doing what we do best.

Boxers or Briefs: Briefs
Biggest Pet Peeve: When I know someone is lying
An embarrassing confession: A girl I had a crush on saw me pick my nose...I may have even been hungry...my memory is blurry. 
Dream job: Fantasy football blogger and gambling expert.

Favorite Barstool Segment: "Does this look like the face of.."
Favorite song to dance to at a party: "Get Down on It" 
Favorite food: Ranch Zones with a buzz on
Favorite sports team(s): Patriots, Celtics, Red Sox 
Favorite Beer: Natural Light

How do you let someone know you're interested in them: Not talk to them but wink from a distance, maybe facebook chat them. 
What do you want girls to know about you: I'll make you laugh and laugh hard. 
What do you look for in a girl: A good personality that isn't fake. Let's have some fun. 

Deal-breaker: Texting during dinner. Good rule: more than two text per meal and I'm not picking up the tab. 
Celebrity Crush: Brookyln Decker
Boobs or Butt: Use to say boobs, but leaning towards butt as I get older.

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Name: Trevor Curtis
Year in School: Junior

Major/Minor: Journalism with a focus on advertising

Relationship Status: single, hollaa!

Hometown: The rolling hills of North Plains, Oregon

Shameless Plug: @tr3vorcurtis (Twitter, Instagram)

 

 

Have you always known that Journalism was your calling?

In some way or another, yeah I have. I was doing job shadows in 8th grade for a sports writer in Forest Grove, Oregon. That’s where it started, sports writer to broadcaster, and now somehow advertising is thrown in the mix. Crazy how that works... (haha)

 

What excites you the most about the U of O?

The greatest part for me is the opportunities that are available here. I have met so many interesting people, some that share similar interests, and we’ve been able to work together. It’s exciting to build a solid network, and for me at least, that offers a great pool of resources to learn from. Not that taking awesome classes aren’t exciting too… ahem. Plus, can I get a “Sco Ducks”? It’s a primo time to be here!

 

Tell us a little about DuckTV and how you got started with it...

I was invited by my neighbor, who said I might enjoy getting involved, and that was probably the best decision I’ve made at school. We’re a completely student-run television network with original programming. I was in a show called Mob Bros. last term, besides being a part of the P.R. staff and it was super fun. We’re actually having auditions this Thursday and Friday, January 10th and 11th. Anyone is welcome to come out, we can always use production assistants, audio mixers, editors, extra actors, P.R. experts, and animators too! Just check out ducktv.uoregon.edu, and I better see all of you who just read this at auditions. Or I will find you.

 

 

Favorite TV show or movie:

Oh, favorite TV shows, it’s a toss up between South Park and Seinfeld. My favorite movie is The Aristocats. Obviously; everybody wants to be a cat.

 

What artists are you listening to right now?

Like at the moment? “Purple Swag” the remix, off of A$AP Rocky’s new album. Other than that, Squirrel Nut Zippers, Attack Attack, and lots of Ke$ha. I don’t know what’s up with the dollar sign…

 

What do you like to do in your free time?

Play basketball, film, or do some writing, maybe take a nap. And eating, but I guess that goes without saying.

 

What's your secret to getting the ladies?

Hmm, getting the ladies, that’s a good question. I don’t really do anything, just talk and listen to what they have to say, and if “the ladies” as we call them, say something striking or refreshing, I’ll talk to them. Genuine conversation seems to work pretty well, plus making y’all laugh of course.

 

What's your biggest turn-on/turnoff when it comes to girls?

Alright, biggest turn-on is easily when a girl lets me know what’s going on in her head. Like, I mean you can talk to me, I would rather know what’s in your head than play stupid games. So, I guess, open honesty? We’ll go with that. Oh, and I’m gonna take this opportunity to say, if we meet and you think I’m cute or whatever, let me know, I’m probably too stupid to read any of your ridiculous, subtle lady signals. Sorry about that…

 

Dream job: I’d be Dirty Trev, Pirate King off somewhere in the Caribbean.

 

Best piece of advice you've ever received?

“Love yourself and life will work itself out.”

 

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Full Name: Jake Athyal
Academic Year: 2014
Major: Communication/Journalism
Minor: Theatre
Hometown: Ernakulam, Kerala, India
Relationship Status: Single
Astrological sign: Aquarius
Twitter/facebook/blog: Jake Athyal (FB)

Biggest turn-on: Laughter
Biggest turn-off: Inconsideration.

Celebrity crush and why: Sharbat Gula. She was living as a refugee in Pakistan when a picture of her was taken Steve McCurry and was made the cover of National Geography. Her eyes are simply stunning.

Future career goals/ambitions: I'm still trying my best to make a decision between Broadcast Journalism and Theatre. I'm very aware I'm going to have to give the upper hand to one, but I'm holding out on that decision for as long as I can. I'm aware it's not a very smart thing to do, but I've fallen for both.

Hobbies/interests: I love acting and have been fortunate enough to be part of multiple productions. I was captain of my soccer team back in high school in India for two years.

Who would you consider your “man crush”: Barack Obama

Least favorite fashion trend for girls: Uggs

Campus Activities: Theatre Department Productions, PAO Productions, Techies Union, Speech and Debate Team

Three words you’d use to describe yourself: Happy, adventurous and naive.

What advice would you give to a girl trying to impress you?
Don't. Be yourself. I'm a lot more interested in who you are and have no intention of changing you. Don't over think it.

If you had to be stuck on a deserted island for an entire year with another student at Suffolk university who would it be:
I had the pleasure of meeting and working with a SU veteran John Mensch. We worked on "At Ease", a Suffolk production. He was a Marine. If anyone can help me survive a year, it would be him.

If you had to pick a song to be the theme song to your life what would it be?
“Let It Be” by the Beatles

Most embarrassing moment (keep it relatively appropriate): 
I've told a lot of people this story. First day of class at Suffolk; Intro to Theatre, professor walks in, I stand up. I could feel people’s eyes on me and quickly sat back down. In India, you always stand every time a professor walked in or out of class. I didn't even realize I was getting up until I was very much on my feet.

Best part about your Suffolk experience so far: 
Being part of the Summer Theatre Ensemble Workshop (STEW) where we performed for incoming freshmen at orientation. Mainly cause the orientation staff is impeccable. I am very proud of this school, but something special happens during orientation when we put out Suffolk's best and most welcoming. It very much motivated me to be more welcoming and outgoing. I'm still close to my orientation leaders.

What is an interesting fact about you most people don’t know: I work at the Boston Tea Party Ships And Museum and often portray Samuel Adams. Yeah, there have been a couple awkward moments.

Most romantic thing you’ve ever done for someone: Once on Valentine's Day I snuck into a class, gave a girl a bouquet and ran out. Everyone but the class professor saw me (she was writing on the board). Now that I think about it realize I got pretty lucky.

If people were to give you a superlative, what do you think it would be? 
“Most likely to use dynamite to go fishing”, but seriously, I know close to nothing about fishing. Or dynamite now that I come to think about it.

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Name: Jonathan Unger
Nickname: Junger
Hometown: Bethlehem, PA
Year: 2014
Major: Journalism (Advertising) and German double major
Relationship status: In a committed relationship (sorry, ladies!)
Favorite movie: TalHotBlonde (Lifetime movie)
Favorite spot on campus: I like to find a secret spot at Davis where no one can find me
Fun fact: I wore hospital socks three times this week
Motto: I ain't got no quarrel with the Viet Cong

Looking for a Mad Man to keep you and your kitty’s heart racing? This week’s Campus Cutie, a 2014 advertising major and cat lover, will be your valentine and then some.

What is your favorite part about UNC?
I like the idea of having a basketball team, whether it is in the reality or not, I like to brag to people that UNC has a basketball team. Also, the campus is nice.

What is one thing you would like to do before you graduate?
One thing I’d like to do before I graduate, this is pretty realistic but I’d like to go to a UNC/Duke game at Cameron. It’d be so much fun.

Do you have any special skills, talents or bragging rights?
Other than being campus cutie, do people still brag about their SAT scores? I play volleyball for the club team. We came 5th in nationals. He got honorable mention All-American.

Besides volleyball club, what are you involved with on campus?
Besides volleyball, I am involved with UNC’s AdClub. I run new businesses venture and it’s to get people actual experience with campaign and speakers. 

What do you want to do after college?
I really like to live in Germany for a while and make something out of that major since right now I’m not doing that much with it.
 
Who is your biggest influence right now?
My biggest influence is probably my brother. He’s 9 years older than me so he’s just old enough that we were close, but he didn’t pick on me.

What’s your idea of the perfect girl?

Strawberry blonde, name starts with J… just kidding. 
Good sense of humor, ability to time travel, and good family values. I don’t have a type. I don’t like girls who are 6 feet or above, I can see the beauty in anyone, though.

What about your biggest turn-offs?

I don’t like girls who smoke cigarettes. That would probably be the biggest turnoff of all.

Describe your ideal first date.
One where I don’t have to pay. If she can time travel, something using that ability. I don’t know. I like to keep things fair and simple. Movie. I’m a movie kind of guy. Something greater than a 90 on rotten tomatoes if she’d go watch that with me. I like to go watch movies that are critically acclaimed movies.

I just want to shout out to my secret admirers JL and JM and tell them that they will always have my heart.

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Name: Giles Smith
Year: Junior
Major: Journalism
Hometown: Baltimore, Maryland
Relationship Status: In a relationship

Giles Smith swims on the U of A swimming and diving team, and hopes to make it to the Olympic Games in 2016.  Keep an eye out for this campus cutie!

 

Favorite Color: Blue
Favorite Movie: Django
Favorite Food: Steak and Potatoes

Hobbies: sports, basketball, hanging with friends, working out, watching TV

What’s your favorite thing about the U of A?
It’s warm and it has beautiful people. It’s just fun, everyone here is really nice and inviting.

What interests you about a career in journalism?
I really liked broadcasting and, specifically, sports broadcasting and commentating.  I’m interested in all the things that had to do with broadcast and print journalism.

What things are you involved in on campus?
Swimming takes most of my time. I swim for about 20 hours a week, go to school full time. I try to eat and sleep in between there, and have some fun.

What’s the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you?
When I was 13 or 14, a freshman in high school, I thought I got a valentines day card from a gir I really liked it.  But it was a guy that pulled a prank on me.  I went up to the girl and started talking to her about the card and she didn’t know what I was talking about. That’s definitely up there.

What’s an interesting fact about you?
I’m probably the world’s slowest runner. People would think I’m this big athletic guy, but I’m a terrible runner.  I can’t even run a mile.

What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?
Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. When I was little someone told me I would never win a race, and I always used that as motivation for swimming, school, and life in general.

What’s your favorite quote?
“Hard work always beats talent, when talent doesn’t work hard.”

Describe your perfect girl.
Someone who has a beautiful smile. Someone that is fun to talk to and someone I can relate to just as a friend before we even start a relationship.

Describe your perfect date.
I’m kind of old fashioned so I’m down for just getting dinner and getting to know each other. At first it might be intimidating, but I’m sociable and I find it pretty easy.

What’s on your bucket list?
To win an Olympic gold metal in swimming. Last summer I got 8th in the Olympic trials. But in 2016, I definitely want to make the team and get gold after that.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Hopefully happy and with a wife and kids and a good job and a lot of good memories with my friends and family.

There’s no denying that many of our pre-collegiette days were spent daydreaming about what college would be like…

You couldn’t wait to meet your roomie,

explore campus,

but most importantly—you couldn’t wait to meet the college guys you had heard so much about.

You definitely kept an open mind at first when it came to what we were looking for,

and were beyond excited when you snagged your first invite to a real frat party.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t long before your idea of fraternities quickly switched from this…

to this.

But you put the charm on anyway,

and managed to snag an invite to a date function with one of the brothers.

The day of the event, you couldn’t wait to meet up with your dream date.

But of course, it wasn’t long before you realized he was already hammered

…and had absolutely no social skills.

So, you ended up sticking with your girls for the rest of the night,

and decided frat houses just weren’t your thing.

Next, you decided to go for student athletes—good-looking and talented.

You chatted up your school’s super handsome linebacker, who was all about his stats and scores…

… but not much else.

So you thought maybe a baseball player would be a little better at holding a conversation…  

…but found that he was also really, uh, into himself.

Next stop: campus musicians. Who doesn’t love a guy who can play guitar?  

But of course, every guy you met in a band turned out to be a total John Mayer wannabe,

and the musical theater majors were a little too in touch with their feminine sides.

Where was your frat guy when you really needed him? 

At this point, you were ready for a more established guy, so you went for the gorgeous TA from your history lecture,

only find out he was a super senior who couldn’t seem to make it past undergrad.  

So long story short, college guys aren’t exactly who you thought they were going to be,

but at least they help make for some great stories to tell your girlfriends!

Anyone know where the grad students hang out??

Do you ever find yourself shrugging your shoulders and settling on the "boys will be boys" conclusion? Real Live College Guy Andy is here to show you that mature men do (in fact) exist. He has an uncanny ability to sort out the good guys from the bad apples and is here to bring you the best in college love advice.

I've had a bit of a problem ever since I've entered college. I'm pretty self-assured, nice, funny, and intelligent. I've got a lot going for me and I like myself. I'm also a virgin, which I'm guessing is pretty readable by any guy who passes me by. I get labeled as the "good girl" and hence, guys that I happen to fall for put me in a category, which makes them not want to try anything with me. I'm not saying that I wouldn't hook up with a guy I actually liked, but guys just never give me the opportunity because they automatically put me in the "good girl" category. How do you get a guy to see you as more than just the "good girl" he should probably return to when he wants to put a ring on a girl's finger? – Good Girl at Goucher

Good Girl,

I'm having a hard time figuring out why guys are labeling you in such a way. Your actions should not give away whether you are a virgin or not. Do you not go out much? Are you always studying? This situation baffles me.

Most of my guy friends would tell you being a virgin is a better reputation than getting around too much. Sounds to me you are just having bad luck and falling for a string of douche-y fellas. Some might tell you that guys are turned off because of this absurd idea that girls become attached to their V-card takers, but I've never bought that excuse. Any guy who uses that as an excuse is a man-sl*t in my opinion.

As for trying to get guys to give you more of a chance, I'm thoroughly as befuddled as you are. I’ve never been around guys who label girls in such a way. Most of my friends would only stay away from a girl if she’s the religious type who is waiting for marriage and that’s not you.

The only thing I can think of is that you need to go after a bigger pool of guys because the ones you're currently after are not quality. Perhaps you need to start looking to meet different types of guys. Maybe going after older guys who are looking for something more serious, or even going after platonic friends whom you find attractive but never really pursued.

If you are really concerned about your image, there is always the “Easy A” route. You could fake something with a friend or two. Otherwise, I think you just need to cast a new dating net. Online dating, perhaps?

Do you ever find yourself shrugging your shoulders and settling on the "boys will be boys" conclusion? Real Live College Guy Andy is here to show you that mature men do (in fact) exist. He has an uncanny ability to sort out the good guys from the bad apples and is here to bring you the best in college love advice.

So I've been dating my boyfriend for close to a year and a half. He and I will be going to different colleges (an hour and a half away from each other) this fall as freshmen. I'm wondering whether it's worth staying together because I’m a college athlete and he’s an engineering major, so we won't have much time on our hands to see each other despite the fact that we really care about each other. Any advice? – Should I Stay or Should I Go?

I realize it is difficult to answer this question when you're still in the relationship, but try asking yourself if you see the relationship as a high school fling or if you really think he's the real deal.

If you do think he is the real deal, then even with busy schedules, 90 minutes isn't too much of a long distance snafu. You just have to figure out how much you think you would need to see him to continue being happy in the relationship. If one weekend per month is enough (which I would think would be doable even with hectic schedules) then there seems like no reason to break up.

It all depends on how much you care about your boyfriend and how much you think being single at college will allow you to be more outgoing. I can't count the number of times where I've seen people go to college attached to long distance relationships and not make many friends at school.

College students in long distance relationships don’t often make as many new friends as their unattached peers do. They often don’t go out with their dorm buddies on a Friday night, but stay in and talk to their significant other instead.  If you do decide to stay with your boyfriend, it will be harder to crack the social scene. The girls you’re going to meet will probably prefer to get closer with other single girls to go out with and the guys might be less inclined to get to know you if they know you’re taken.

All that said, you just have to weigh the options. As an athlete, you’ll probably have plenty of friends through the team so you probably won't have to worry about not making friends. So if this guy is the love of your life, I would probably lean towards trying to make it work.

Summer is here, and if there’s one thing on everyone’s mind, it’s getting that summer boyfriend. Now that we’re away from the meat markets that are our college campuses, we’re gonna have to work a little bit harder to get the boys. This is a challenge you are up to! Here are HC’s top ways to prime yourself for that summer love (or, you know, fling…)

1. Throw a “Welcome Summer” Barbeque.
This is the easiest way to get all of your friends and their friends in one place. Tell your girlfriends to each invite two “available” dudes, and, then, FLIRT. Grab a couple of numbers, and use your already-honed flirtexting skills after the barbeque to get these guys even more interested. (click here if you need a refresher.) Once you meet a guy, follow-up is key!

2. Look cute for your summer job.
Most of you probably have internships or your run-of-the-mill ice cream scooping jobs this summer. While the experience you will gain in any position will be valuable, from a purely social viewpoint, you need to remember that these are all new people you can meet! If there are cute guys at your workplace, bingo. Set up a lunch or after work drinks with your coworkers. If guys are lacking at your place of business, don’t stress. Have your work girlfriends introduce you to some of their cute single friends! This is what we call real, live social networking. You can also try lunching where cute guys from other offices hang out, provided your work clothes are CUTE.

3. Lay out. 

While collegiettes do this anyway (with sunscreen, of course, and not in those icky tanning beds, what you need to think about is location, location, location. Go on a guest visit to all of your local pools/beaches and scope the crowd. Are there more young people hanging out? Families? The dreaded soccer mom contingent? Figure out where the cute guys are playing beach volleyball and buy a summer pass. At the very least, there’s eye candy, and more than likely, you’ll actually meet some hotties.

4. Reconnect with high school friends.
If you’re in your hometown for any part of the summer, make sure you check in with your peeps from the past. While your high school may have been full of dweebs when you went there, these boys grow up! So, if your mom is dragging you to your neighbor’s grad party or your best friend wants to go chill at Steve’s house for old time’s sake, go along. You never know who you might see “all grown up.” Remember what Shia LaBeouf looked like pre-Transformers?

5. Hit the bars.
If you’re under 21 and living in the U.S., this may prove difficult for you, but the main point of this tip is to go where the young people are. If you’re in a big city, this is typically the bar scene, but, if you’re in suburbia, this may be your friend Amy’s basement. You could also try hitting up a restaurant that has a fun bar scene if you’re worried that you won’t be able to get into the bars or clubs because you’re underage. The most important thing to do is to gather your girlfriends, look cute, and get out there. You’ll never meet anyone new by staying at home! And, from purely anecdotal knowledge, guys tend to be more forward in the nighttime/going out hours.

Whether you’re spending your summer on the shore, in the city or in your parents’ house, boys are everywhere (except, maybe, your parents’ house.) Your job is to stalk them! Kidding, don’t stalk. We at HC prefer the term “strategic positioning.” Here’s to that summer fling! Where do you go to meet guys in the summer, collegiettes? Let us know in the comments!

Dating in college isn't exactly easy––that's why our Real Live College Guys detangle your love issues every week. But dating after college is an entirely different animal. Suddenly, you can't meet guys at frat parties, in class or on the staff of your newspaper anymore––now you're in the “real world.” While it might have been fine to hook up with the cute guy who also worked your shift at the rec center, it's definitely not okay to treat your new job as a dating pool. (Sorry, no date is worth the risk of getting fired!)

Her Campus talked to dating expert Lindsay Kriger and Elyssa Goodman, a 2010 Carnegie Mellon grad whose little black book is hardly wanting for dates. They explain how dating changes between college and post-grad, and how you can adapt to those changes with ease. Now do yourself a favor, and leave next Friday open on your calendar...

How is dating in college different than dating after college?

The major difference is that fewer opportunities fall directly into your lap. You won't be thrown together with a million other people your own age in college classes, student clubs or frat parties. Instead, it's up to you to seek out people to meet and things to do, especially if you're moving to a new city.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but once you graduate from college, dating takes effort. You have to coordinate schedules and find time to see each other. And that’s if you can even find each other in the first place, because now you have to search out the people you click with, since they’re no longer all around you,” says Kriger.

So, how do you make that happen?

Elyssa says, “When I moved to New York [after graduation], I found myself wondering when I would have New York friends and meet a New York boy. Trust me, it happens eventually – you just have to go out and experience the world as you normally would. For me personally, that means gallery openings, art parties, cabarets and just hanging out with friends (I've met awesome guys all of the places listed). This works because you know you already have something in common, in that you both like to go to these kinds of places. Or you already have good taste in people because you have a mutual friend!”

Elyssa's approach works because it's so proactive. The only person you'll meet by sitting at home on a Friday night watching Netflix in your pajamas is Don Draper (and sorry, ladies, he's taken). If you want to meet someone new, you have to put yourself out there. Is that exhilarating? Yes. Kind of scary? You betcha. 

Where can you meet guys post-graduation?

Some of the places you might have typically met guys are off-limits once you graduate. But other places (hello, being 21+!) are finally open.

Here are a few new places you might meet guys after you graduate:

• Instead of class, try...  joining a co-ed sports team.
• Instead of study abroad, try... an 18+ Contiki travel tour.
• Instead of frat parties and mixers, try... a bar.
• Instead of on campus, try... public parks.
• Instead of Tinder, try... OK Cupid or Grouper.

While there may have been a stigma against online dating in college, it's fairly commonplace once you leave your campus bubble. Kriger explains, “If you’re worried that online dating makes you look desperate, get over it. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a relationship and letting people know it,” she says. “Online dating is actually a lot safer and more reliable than meeting random guys at bars. When you meet someone in the virtual world, you can get a better feel for their intentions and find out things like whether or not they’re looking for a relationship, what their life and dating philosophies are, or even just what they do for fun.”

Of course, a few places to meet guys can remain the same: house parties, the gym, religious groups, sporting events and concerts, volunteer work, and through family and friends. But remember, once you fall into a routine, you limit the number of new people you're able to meet.

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. When you always go to the same bars, always eat in the same restaurants, always work out at the same gym at the same time, you never stray from your comfort zone – and you limit the number of new experiences in your life!” Kriger says. “If you’re single and ready to mingle, but finding the dating pool a little stale, why not try a different approach in some aspect of your daily routine? There are tons of men out there, but without just a touch of a ‘carpe diem’ attitude, you might miss out on meeting them (or even crossing paths).”

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How can you let a guy know you're interested?

In order to maximize the chances of being approached by a guy, Kriger recommends hanging out by yourself or with just one other friend. It's nerve-wracking for a guy to approach a big group of girls to start a conversation with just one. “Ever thought about how scary three or four of us are when we go out to bars together? Too much pretty in one collective unit,” she says.

But sitting around waiting for a guy to invite you out seriously sucks. It's time to take matters into your own hands! Striking up a conversation, being yourself, touching his arm... never fear, those flirting tips you mastered in college aren't going anywhere. They work in the real world, too. The key to asking a guy out is confidence, pure and simple.

Elyssa says, “I was hanging out in Union Square Park [in New York City] one day and just kind of randomly starting talking to someone. I enjoyed talking to him, so I was just like, 'Would you like to have coffee sometime?' He said yes and called me later to make plans.”

Take after Elyssa's example and start small by sparking a conversation. It could be as simple as a comment on the weather, a comment on something he's reading or even asking for directions. Congrats, you've broken the ice! From there, keep the ball rolling. If you're getting a good vibe from the conversation, don't be afraid to take it a step further and ask him out for coffee. 

“You could very easily never see these people again so it's a lot less scary to just be like, 'Hey...'” Elyssa points out.

Remember, the worst that can happen is that he never calls. If that's the case, treat the scenario as practice for asking out the next guy. You can do it! If it makes you feel better, remember that guys feel the pressure of asking girls out all the time. We bet you're feeling sympathetic now, huh?

How are post-grad guys different than college guys?

Face it, a 22-year-old guy is a 22-year-old guy no matter what. Guys don't put on their cap and gown and suddenly decide to shower you with expensive jewelry and fine wines. (We wish.) But a guy's mindset might change after graduation, the same way yours does. Your new dating pool is probably occupied 9 – 5, either working all day or sending out job applications like crazy. Guys who used to be all about the hook-up scene might find themselves looking for something a bit more serious.

You might also start dating older guys. A four-year age gap might be pretty significant when you're in college, but once you graduate, it's not a big deal to start dating guys in their mid- to late-twenties, including grad students. Older guys tend to be more mature and have a bit more real world experience than guys your own age. They offer a few sweet bonuses, like “real” dates (at restaurants with tablecloths––imagine that!) and fewer fart jokes, but they come with drawbacks too: if your older guy has a busy job, he might not be able to hang out as often as you'd like.

But the biggest perk of all? A post-grad date will never end with the two of you squeezed into a twin extra-long bed three feet away from your roommate.

The transition to your new post-grad life might be intimidating, but remember that the transition to college was scary once upon a time, too. There's no pressure to start dating right away, so take your time and have fun!

Online dating: it’s one of those things that your friends tell you about and you’re considering trying for yourself. But there are so many sites out there! How can you be sure you’re getting the right match or that trying out online dating is even worth trying in college? Have no fear! Here’s your guide to popular online dating sites.

Plenty Of Fish

Plenty Of Fish (POF) advertises itself as a site for any singles looking for love and says it provides “more dates, relationships, and visits than any other online dating website” (POF.com). It uses a ‘Chemistry Test’ to match users with other online daters who have the same emotional needs.

Cost: Free

Reputation:
The site has faced some scrutiny, namely that it attracts many more “casual daters” than “relationship daters”. However, that doesn’t mean POF should be overlooked; the site does hold the #1 dating site ranking in several countries, including the United States.

In addition, POF founder and CEO Markus Frind announced in late May 2013 that the POF team was completely revamping the site and doing away with features that were considered unattractive to users. One example? Intimate Encounter, a feature allowed for explicit sexual encounters without the obligation to pursue a relationship. Overall, the POF team is aiming for the site to have a more “relationship-y” feel. It’s definitely worth checking out!

Jenny*, a senior at the University of Florida, tried out POF for fun and had a couple of issues with the site. “People jokingly call it ‘Plenty of Sex’, and I see why,” she says, “I just sort of signed up to see what online dating itself was like, and there were a lot of creepy guys messaging me about sex. I’ve also heard a lot of stories of people’s accounts getting shut down for no reason and other site administration problems.”

However, Jenny still appreciates her experience with POF. “It made me think a lot more about what I want and don’t want in a relationship going forward. I also liked the fact that POF was free, so I didn’t feel like I ‘lost out’ financially if I didn’t find a match.”

OKCupid

OKCupid advertises itself as the “fastest-growing online dating site” that “uses math to get dates” (OKCupid.com). The site boasts that as long as you’re “honest and know what you want”, it can help you make a match. One thing that separates the site from all other online dating sites is that it does also claim to facilitate the creation of friendships as well as relationships.

The site also features an interesting way of matching through a “quiz” feature. Users answer questions to make up a dating profile. However, when answering quiz questions, users indicate their answer, what answers they will accept from potential partners, and how much importance they place on any particular question. There is one catch to this feature, though: your answers must be public if you want to see how a potential match answered the same question.

Cost: Free

Reputation:
OKCupid has been rated one of the best online dating websites by several publications. One of the only big complaints about the service is that it doesn’t offer the level of privacy to members that it claims it does. However, it goes without saying that it is naïve to believe that anything posted on the Internet is truly “private”, and this is not an issue that only OKCupid faces.

Another huge plus for collegiettes looking for love online: OKCupid is known to have a younger demographic, which means you can find whatever you’re looking for, whether it be a casual dating experience or a more serious relationship.

Ashley*, a junior at Florida State University, had a good experience when she used OKCupid. “From what I've seen, its reputation is pretty good; I've heard a ton of success stories from people who used it. It's also known for having a younger crowd, on average, than many of the other sites.”

Ruth Shaw, a senior at Florida State University, also tried out OKCupid and had mixed feelings about it. “OKCupid definitely has a younger group of people on it, but I have also seen that it has some questionable actions since I used it.” Ruth felt like a lot of its users were trying to find sexual partners instead of love, which she was quite unsettled by.

However, Ruth felt like she would find partners only looking for sex on any dating website, not just OKCupid, and that if she’d had used the site longer, she could’ve found a quality match. “I think if [someone has] more patience with people than I do, it would work!”

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DateMySchool

Date My School allows college students and college alumni to find other educated people to date. Aside from the perk of being free, DateMySchool also boasts heightened security and privacy measures, like needing an official school email to log into the site.

Another interesting privacy feature is DateMySchool’s “Reversed Social Network” that excludes people you know so that users are only reaching other singles they couldn’t meet normally.

Cost: Free

Reputation:
Like many of the other sites mentioned in this list, DateMySchool has won several accolades, including About.com’s award for Best College Dating Site and Best Free Dating Site.

DateMySchool has been praised for its extra privacy features and interesting take on the college dating scene. It has become a viral sensation, now available at over 1,300 schools nationwide.

JDate

JDate boasts being the largest dating website for Jewish singles. What separates it from many of its dating counterparts is the attention to community (singles come together for charitable events and Jewish holidays) and of course, the Jewish faith.

One unique feature you won’t find anywhere else? JDate allows users to receive dating advice from a rabbi. Mazel tov!

Cost: $19.99 per month

Reputation:
JDate is known for its strong community. Members come together often for actual events, usually in the spirit of charitable giving or volunteering.

One downside to keep in mind if you’re looking for someone who shares your Jewish faith is that there are many non-Jews who use the site (up to 50,000 of the site’s 600,000 members) because they say they prefer Jewish partners. Some people might be fine with this, but it can be a bummer if you’re looking for a partner who is in fact Jewish.

Christian Mingle

Christian Mingle boasts that it is the number one online dating website for Christian singles. It uses “Compass Matching” and Christian-related questions in its profile questionnaire to make sure singles are compatible on a spiritual level.

Like JDate, Christian Mingle has many faith-based features, including the “Bible Verse of the Day” and the “Worship Center” that allow for faith-based activities like bible study and a “prayer wall.”

Cost: $29.99 per month

Reputation:
Like many of these other dating sites, you can’t become number one for nothing! Christian Mingle is considered a great way to meet people of the same faith who are looking for love. One thing collegiettes should keep in mind: Christian Mingle users are on the older side. Fifty-five percent of users are older than 36, and twenty-five percent are older than 50. In addition, statistics show that the majority of members on Christian Mingle are from the Midwest or the South. While these aren’t reasons to swear off Christian Mingle, they are definitely aspects to think about.

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Match

Match says it is able to find a relationship for anyone, regardless of values, religious beliefs, sexuality, or age. To find matches, users create a simple profile and fill out information about what type of person they would like to date, including details like what type of job they would like a potential match to have and how much money they would like matches to make.

Unique features include the Daily 5 (which provides users with five matches each day), MatchTalk (which allows users to have phone conversations without having to give their telephone numbers), and the 6 Month Guarantee (which states that if you cannot find a match within six months, the site will give you an additional six months for free).

Cost: $34.99 per month

Reputation:
With over 15 million users from 25 different countries, there’s a reason Match is so popular. One of the reasons Match is so successful is that it is open to everyone regardless of sexuality, race, or religious beliefs.

One of the largest complaints about Match’s online dating service is that it’s expensive, and there are reports of online dating money scams involving fake profiles. Of course, much like OKCupid’s privacy concerns, fake profiles pop up everywhere, and it is up to the discretion of the user to decide what is real and what is fake.

Ruth also tried out Match.com but found that, “[it] seemed to have a better reputation with the ‘upper 20’ crowd, rather than the college group,” making it hard for her to find someone to date as a college student. However, it really depends on what each individual collegiette is looking for, so give it a go if it sounds good to you!

eHarmony

The site boasts helping single men and women (over 21!) looking for love through a custom “Compatibility Matching System” with 29 dimensions of compatibility meant to match people on the deepest levels. The idea behind eHarmony is to skip the conventional browsing that comes with many dating websites and go straight to a few select, deliberate matches that are way more compatible.

Cost: $59.95 per month

Reputation:
eHarmony is considered one of the most comprehensive dating websites out there. Its profile includes over 258 questions to make sure users are giving the most complete picture of themselves possible, so definitely make sure you’ve got time (and provisions) to fill out everything!

The one thing eHarmony has come under scrutiny for is that its site is dedicated to heterosexual couples and doesn’t include features for homosexual couples. However, the company ameliorated this issue in 2009 with the creation of its site Compatible Partners.

eHarmony also has the reputation of being a site for older people looking to get married as opposed to date. Unfortunately, the site made such age statistics private in 2012, but before they stopped discussing their demographics, these claims did seem to be true.

Jessica*, a sophomore at Wesleyan University, tried out eHarmony with her sister a couple months back and found it extremely comprehensive. “It requires an extent of care. There are questions that require heart, which I thought was kind of endearing. For example, it would ask you for movies and you couldn't just name Star Wars. You had to sit there and kind of extrapolate and share yourself.”

Jessica had heard about eHarmony’s reputation for being a dating website for older singles looking to settle down and get married, and she definitely found this to be true with her experience.

Many of eHarmony’s well-known comprehensive profile questions are geared towards finding lifelong soulmates, not just people to date. “My sister, who is actually subscribing to eHarmony, wants to find someone and settle down. Albeit, she is ten years older than me, and she's obviously had enough years on her to consider what she wants and who she wants to settle down with for the rest of her life.”

The Bottom Line

Jumping into the world of online dating can be scary but also extremely rewarding. Think about what you’re looking for out of your online dating experience, and decide which site (or sites) is right for you.

*Names have been changed.

While everyone wants to experience a little bit of summer lovin’, not all of our beach-born relationships are suited to last through September, reaching a climax à la Grease that involves a fun house, a skin-tight spandex unitard with bright red stilettos, and a flying convertible. Nope—not even Danny and Sandy’s adorable “we-made-it-work-and-now-we’ll-always-be-together” story can convince us that every summer fling is meant to turn into the real thing. Instead, we’re a little bit more into the sentiment that perhaps a fling should remain just that—short, exciting and ending on an “up” as opposed to a long, dramatic, emotional breakdown. Disagree? Hear us out on a few reasonswhy your summer fling might be better off staying just that.

He's not someone you want to bring home to mom and dad.

You know they won’t approve, so why start something more serious with a guy who will never get your parents’ “OK”? Whatever the reason for their skepticism – his intelligence, his inability to dress himself in clothes that match or his lack of conversation skills – if he’s not exactly your parents’ cup of tea, you might question whether he’s really worth more than a casual summer fling.

You know he won’t mesh well with your friends back at school.

While over the summer you might have a lot of one-on-one time, that probably won’t be the case come September. Of course, as school begins, there’s a lot more to juggle. Work, extracurriculars, clubs, any other school-related activities, plus making time for friends and a boyfriend can get to be a little much. What’s more, if your girlfriends who have met him over the summer don’t love to hang out with him, there might be trouble coming your way. If your friends can’t be around him, you’ll find yourself having to choose between them too often.

He's not "boyfriend" material, as far as your standards are concerned.

“If he was [insert impossible-to-achieve trait here] then he’d be perfect.” Yep, we all know that feeling. Unfortunately, though, simply wishing that he would just gain that one characteristic you think is missing won’t make him the (near-)perfect boyfriend. If he has habits and qualities that tend to make you cringe, it’s definitely time to let go and move on to something that’s more fulfilling. Even so, if he’s just not everything you’re looking for in a guy, the end of summer is the time to get over it and get on with it, so you can find a guy who is.

He's really hot... but that's about it.

If going on a dinner date with him that doesn’t involve a quick slice of pizza or a casual stop at the ice cream shop is unimaginable to you, then he’s not the right guy. He might be cute enough to look at for an extended period of time, but when he opens his mouth – or when he doesn’t at all – you can’t help but wish that more than just bro-mumbles would tumble from his lips. If he’s got nothing to offer besides killer looks that make him the perfect partner in crime far as Facebook photos are concerned, let him go after you’ve had your summer fun.

You’re spending the fall semester in Europe and he’s… not.

A semester abroad can be pretty much a free-for-all, and as college students from all around the country infiltrate Europe, there’s no doubt that you’ll have plenty of guys to meet. Don’t remain preoccupied with your American summer guy while you’re surrounded by a different group of college kids, incredible (romantic) cities and – GASP – men with accents!

He's going back to California at the end of the summer while you're staying on the East Coast.

Distance might make the heart grow fonder, but it also might just be a pain in the butt – only leading to loneliness and perhaps some fighting. Though some couples can make it work, being separated by multiple states can take a toll on any relationship. Transitioning from summer fling to long-distance-thing is a huge step in terms of commitment, so you’ll have to make sure that your casual “fling” has gained enough real strength to survive across such a distance.

You've graduated and are starting a job, but he failed to complete all of his requirements.

By the time you’ve settled into your new working life, he’ll have just completed the extra requirements he needed to make up after graduation. He’ll be in a totally different place than you are – you’ll have learned the ropes of the real world and gotten your life underway, while he’ll be just starting to figure it out. Don’t wait around for this guy after the summer ends. Let him figure out the pending status of his graduation while you get on with your post-grad life.

You want some “me” time.

Being tied to a guy – no matter what the nature of the relationship – can get exhausting, and even suffocating. After the summer, you might not even feel it necessary to keep things up with the guy purely because you want to take some time to be on your own. Allow yourself to get back into the swing of things at school without a boy by your side.

You plan on going back to school and running straight into the arms of another guy.

If you’ve survived the summer by looking forward to the fall – when you’ll finally be reunited with the guy from last semester with whom you never had “closure” (whatever that means) – there’s no reason for your summer fling to carry over into the next season. Clearly, he’s less significant than the Prince Charming who awaits you back at school, so leave beach boy behind and hope that your Prince hasn’t taken the summer as an opportunity to charm anyone else.

So as you enjoy the heat, the waves and the adorable boy you’ve got by your side for the summer, be sure to consider how seriously you’re actually taking this relationship. If you start to get the sense that the fling is just a fling, allow it to end instead of dragging it on for no good reason. Let it go and look forward to meeting new boys either abroad (accents! romance! mopeds!) or back at school (are younger boys really off-limits?).

Every girl embraces her inner badass and does some naughty things now and then — like refilling your Slurpee before checkout, masterfully rearranging the pillows on the couch after your little coffee spill, or “forgetting” to return your roomie’s super cute shirt until she actually asks about it. 

Then there are the times when you’re feeling really badass and want to do some really naughty things. Things that are so naughty you vow not to tell anyone except your diary and your dog. Things such as having sex in public, keeping a hook-up list, or taking pictures (sans clothing) for your special someone.     

So how do you do naughty things the nice girl way (without getting kicked out of school, having your face and naughty bits plastered all over the internet, or ending up in jail)? With stories from the brave collegiettes™ who’ve attempted the following naughty acts and juicy tips from sex therapist Dr. Karen Stewart, Her Campus has the goods to tell you how to be bad (but not too bad).

Have Sex in Public

You’ve seen it in the movies. You’ve heard rumors of the spot to do it on campus. What are you waiting for? “It is normal for every couple to want to spice things up in their relationship, and many think, what better way than to do it in a different place!” says Dr. Stewart.

“While experimenting with having sex in public can be exhilarating, daring and more interesting, it is important to think of the consequences. Getting arrested for public nudity or indecent exposure is a true mood killer,” she warns.

Every collegiette could use a little spice in her relationship, but penalties for getting caught in the act can range from a warning to a small fine to probation. Spontaneous as you’d like it to be, having sex in public requires a bit of preparation. But trust us. A little planning won’t take away from any of the excitement. 

Approach the subject with your guy, and decide on the time and place you’d like to do the deed. Keep in mind the amount of traffic the area gets and during what times of the day. Complete seclusion isn’t necessary (the possibility of getting caught is part of what makes this so hot—you just don’t want to actually get caught,) but peak study hour at the library during finals is probably not the best decision.

Once it’s go time, wear the skirt or dress that drives your boyfriend wild with nothing underneath. He’ll get worked up in seconds, making this encounter a quick one, lessening the chance of getting caught.  Make sure one of you brings a condom, and go for a standing-up position (like from behind) so you can break things up quickly if you hear anyone approaching.  Don’t expect the sex to be great or even good, because there won’t be much or any foreplay and it will be rushed, and neither of you can make any noise—attempting this is just about the thrill of the experience, if you dare.

Oops, I Did It Again: “Spring Break, freshman year, my boyfriend and I snuck out of the beach house we were staying in with friends and headed to the beach. It was after midnight so you could barely see anything, but we stayed near the dunes, laid out a towel to keep sand away from our exposed areas, and we had sex.” –Mia*

Make a Sex Tape

Just because this didn’t go so well for Paris and Kim doesn’t mean it will be a disaster for everyone. Being extremely cautious could prevent dreadful results. “After counseling many women about their feelings after their boyfriends exposed their sex tapes, I can firmly say don't do it unless you keep the only copies,” Dr. Stewart advises.

A tarnished reputation and utter public humiliation are not on a nice girl’s bucket list. Just think: Grandma would never look at you the same, your boss wouldn’t think twice about snatching that job out from under your feet, and some potential boyfriends could be scared off by your indiscretion.

Even if your boyfriend is the one to suggest doing this, take control of the situation. And, ladies, he should be a trusted figure in your life for quite some time before ever agreeing to film yourselves getting it on. Without getting too in depth (sex should be passionate not technical), discuss the basic guidelines of this cinematic feat: length of the filming, positioning of the camera, sound or no sound, etc.

When details have been arranged, set up your own camera or laptop, and get taping. Watch the tape together for reasons previously agreed upon — foreplay, critique, pure interest — and then get rid of it—immediately. There’s no sense in hanging on to a ticking time bomb like a sex tape, when you can simply make another one should the urge ever arise again.

If you sense any hesitation or suspicious behavior on his part because of your requests to be in charge, speak up and clear the air, and/or halt all plans before going forth. While the choice of making a sex tape needs to be a joint one, the repercussions often fall solely on the female.

Oops, I Did It Again: “My guy was a film major, so obviously this came up. We made one using my camera, and then we watched it together. It was pretty hot! I'd never want that kind of footage lying around, though, so we made sure to delete it immediately after we watched it.” –Kendall* 

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Keep a Hook-Up List

The Duke F**k List may have gone a tad further than necessary, but there’s nothing wrong with taking a trip down your own romantic memory lane. Dr. Stewart agrees, seeing no harm in maintaining a list of the guys you’ve had a fun time with.

But, if the list is released, you’ll be dragging plenty of people down with you. “Keep it in the most private of places,” Dr. Stewart says. “Feelings are bound to be hurt if it gets in the wrong hands,” she adds.

As Dr. Stewart mentioned, the list should be kept far away from nosy people and prying eyes. Save the file on your computer, under a completely unrelated name, that is not accessible from your desktop.

If you go the old-school route of taking pen to paper, write in code. It will add some fun to your list-making while maintaining a level of discreetness. Explicitly stating every single detail is just asking for trouble, whereas a nickname with five dots next to it will take a bit more guesswork to decipher. When you’re done writing about your romantic encounters, hide the list in a private place in your room. Under your mattress is an obvious hiding spot, so get creative!  And don’t label it “Hook-Up List”… duh!

Oops, I Did It Again: “I started doing this sophomore year of high school! I did it to keep track and share with my girlfriends. It's pretty funny, actually. There's a scale of stars from one to four to denote the amount of stuff I did with the guy. Then, I wrote cute little anecdotes on the side to remember the guy. Not that the list is miles long, trust me.” –Danielle*

Have Phone or Skype Sex

It’s like they invented technology just for long-distance lovers. “Phone sex and Skype sex can be a great way to stay connected with a partner and to allow yourself to be more comfortable talking dirty,” Dr. Stewart says.

Be entirely certain that your roomie or parents are not home when the cybersex takes place. The phone and Skype “allow you to say things and fantasies that you may not have been comfortable expressing in person,” Dr. Stewart adds, but worrying about someone overhearing your wild ways could be totally inhibiting.

Your boyfriend should have a private place to chat and let loose, as well. While he may have no problem with his roommate lurking in the corner of their room doing homework, you undoubtedly will.

Remember, it might take a little longer to warm up to each other over a piece of technology, but once you start, it will be hard to stop. Carve out at least an hour of your time, and say just the right things that you know get your guy going — fast.

Skype is great at making you feel as though you are together, in person, but having your guy intensely watch you touch yourself or make your “O face” could feel embarrassing at first. Try phone sex a few times until you achieve a level of comfort, and then move on to Skype.

Oops, I Did It Again: “My guy watched me take a shower over Skype. It felt naughty but also exciting!” –Meg*

Take Naughty Pictures

We’re certainly not advocating an extravagant photo shoot. Homemade nude-y calendars can be a bit tacky, no? A sultry snapshot or two couldn’t hurt to liven things up, though. “It can be fun and sexy to send your man a sassy picture of yourself, but, unfortunately, even in the best of intentions, these materials can end up in the wrong hands,” says Dr. Stewart.

Vanessa Hudgens, anyone? We’re guessing you don’t want to travel down the long, embarrassing road she did. Much like the release of a sex tape, if your naked pictures get in to the hands of someone other than the intended person, your education, career and reputation will be in danger.

Gossip spreads quickly around a college campus. Your sorority could kick you out, your scholarship could be revoked, and you could even be expelled from your university.

If a naughty photo or two is the way you want to please your man, though, we suggest not going completely nude in your pictures. Put on some sexy lingerie, or, if you really want to be naked, cover up those places with your hands, clothing or random objects. Sure, it might sound silly, but not giving all of yourself away can be just as sexy as going full-on nude. And, if the pictures were to get out to someone besides your boyfriend, it may be a little less humiliating for you than if you were completely naked.  

When you go to take your pictures, find a comfortable, private (the door must be locked!) place to do it in. Make sure all of the details of your “set” (light, temperature, etc.) are to your liking. You are most likely going to be nervous, so you want to be as comfortable and relaxed as possible. Get creative, too! Practice with different poses, facial expressions and camera angles. Look at magazines for position ideas, but don’t go too over the top—you want these photos to be sexy, not funny. Then, snap a photo or two, and be done with it.

Trust and responsibility are key when taking and giving nude pictures. Only give the photos to a guy with whom you’ve been in a long-term relationship and who has the utmost respect for you. Talk to him about how he can keep your pictures private. And, though texting or emailing a photo might be the quicker option, your picture could easily be sent to the wrong person, or worse — your entire address book — so be careful. Once you’ve given or sent the pictures to your special someone, delete them immediately. You never know who could get access to your camera or phone—and what they would do once they found the pictures.

Oops, I Did It Again: “I am guilty of taking naughty pictures for my guy. I can't help wanting to please my guy even when I'm not there; it's an addicting feeling knowing that you can turn him on when you're not even around.” –Valerie*

Sources
*All names have been changed
Real college girls
Dr. Karen Stewart
http://www.wikihow.com/Take-Erotic-Photos-of-Yourself

Although shy guys typically do not grab the attention of ladies on campus, that does not mean they are not friend, boyfriend, or lover material! In many cases, the opposite is true. Us girls always end up asking where all the nice guys are because we have been too busy chasing the ones who talk all the right talk, but are all the wrong-wrong. Maybe it is time to switch up our target and consider the shy guy instead? A busy and ambitious collegiette plus a guy who listens has a bit of a ring to it!

Name: Deossie Vega
Year: Sophomore
Major: Marketing

How would you describe your personality? 
Funny, laid back, and shy

Where is home for you? 
Northern Virginia

What kind of music do you listen to? 
Open to anything with a nice beat but primarily hip-hop and r&b

Turn offs/on in the opposite sex.
Offs: smoking, stuck up, clingy
On: ambitious, in shape, intelligent, funny and most importantly, beautiful!

What is your ideal date? 
The traditional dinner and a movie.

Longest relationship you've been in? 
3 months?

What would you consider to be your greatest weakness? 
Shyness

How often do you work out?
3-4 times a week

Major/year in school: New Media/ Freshman
Favorite thing about UMaine: Seeing new faces every day. 
Favorite place to eat in Orono/on campus: OHOP
Hobbies: Traveling, Skiing, Drawing, scuba diving
Favorite place you have traveled to: Honduras and Mallorca in the Mediterranean Sea.

Favorite thing to do on the Weekend: Lay low and play slow after causing a ruckus. 
Boxers or briefs: Boxers
Boobs or Butt: Butt
Blonde or Brunette: No preference 
Confession: I have a shy side to me. 
Dream Job: Traveling to do what I love.
Fun Fact: I'm quite the bro when it comes to lacrosse.

What's the first thing you notice about a girl: Her eyes and smile
How do you let a girl know your into her: I compliment her often and look into her eyes trying to solve her mystery. 
What do you want all the ladies to know about you: I'm easy going and it's hard to make me not smile. 
Celebrity Crush: Scarlett Johansson
Favorite song/band: What's Golden/ Jurassic 5

Anything Else you want the girls to know? If you can't find me in the winter then I am probably out skiing somewhere.
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Name: James Cirelli
Birthday: January 25
Age: 21
Year: Pre-Junior  
Major: Environmental Engineering
Relationship Status: Single
Hometown: Staten Island, NY
Astrological Sign: Aquarius

Hobbies/interests: biking, nature, camping

What clubs/organizations are you a part of on campus? Drexel Sierra Club

What is your role in the Sierra Club? 
I’m the treasurer. I handle our entire budget and all our monetary things. I was on the Earth Week committee for this week. Those are the big things!

Do you have a “going green” tip for HC readers? 
Try using tap water. Philadelphia has very clean water and you save a lot of money and a lot of plastic by simply using a reusable bottle.

Biggest turn-on: A good sense of style. A cute sense of style!

Celebrity Crush: Emma Watson

Three words you’d use to describe yourself: Silly, shy, and eclectic.

Do you consider yourself a “hipster”? No. Hipsters… No.

Future career goals/ambitions: 
Well I’m an environmental engineer so I’d really like to get into forest management and working with rivers and streams and basically the outdoors with an engineering aspect. And also traveling to every state park in the country.

If you had to pick a song to be the theme song of your life, what would it be: Animals by Baths

Most embarrassing song on your iTunes: She Wolf by Shakira

Favorite movie quote: It’s got to be something from Princess Monanoke because that’s my favorite movie.

Guilty pleasure: Selflessly indulging in Nutella.

Best pick-up line: Can I buy you a drink? In a reusable bottle, of course.

What is something most of Drexel doesn’t know about you: I have a tattoo on my inner arm that most of Drexel won’t see.

What is your tattoo of? The Hylian crest from the Legend of Zelda.

What’s something on your Drexel bucket list: Crowd surf at a show at Flux.

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Name & Year: Chris Dong, 2015
Major: Chemistry
Relationship Status: Single and ready to mingle, baby. 
Hometown: Chapel Hill, NC

What is he involved in on campus?
Chris is an active member of the Tribe Swim Team. He is an excellent breaststroker.

What is he interested in?
Chris Dong is just a regular guy. He loves swimming, eating, and just straight chillin'. He's kind of shy, but he enjoys the night life. Although he won't admit it, Chris is an excellent drawer and has a big heart. He's definitely a sensitive guy. You can catch Chris either at the pool during practice or sitting under a tree outside, thinking or reading the latest romance novel.

Why was he nominated as a Campus Cutie?
"Chris should be a Campus Cutie because he's adorable. Everyone on the swim team loves him and he does not have a mean word to say about anyone. Honestly, he should be a Campus Cutie because he's shy and the William and Mary community should know who this little hunk truly is."

Stalk Chris on Facebook here.

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Full Name: Ben Rogers
Class Year: 2015
Major: Astrogeophysics
Hometown: Tewksbury, NJ

Describe yourself in three words: Shy, loyal, respectful
Fun Fact: I Cracked my skull when I was 6 by getting carried up the stairs by my dog
Favorite pickup line: I've never seen you over here before... is this your first time?
What do you look for in a girl: Brown hair, beautiful eyes, loyal, and commited
Celebrity Crush: Hayden Panettiere
If you could have any superpower what would it be: I'd want to fly so I could help out as many people as possible in the most timely manner as possible

Broke from calling late night love lines for advice? Looking for the lowdown on the hoedown when it comes to college guys? Real Live College Guy Sean is here to help you pick apart the mind of the average college guy. Whether it’s avoiding that awkward weekend hook-up or full-on relationship advice, Sean is here to save the day!

I met this guy while working. He got my number and we’ve been texting since then; we text almost every single day. I really like him but I’m not sure if he feels the same. Some of his texts kind of hint at something, but maybe it’s just me. How can I know if he's into me without necessarily asking him? – Interested at Illinois State

Ah, the classic fairytale of boy-texts-girl. Reading between the lines of a text message can be tricky. I feel like the Disney princesses would have had much harder lives if their princes were texting them. Cinderella in particular would find it hard: “Yo, I found, I mean my roommate found, this glass slipper and we don’t know whose it is. Is it yours? It is? Ok, I’ll bring it with me to the frat party tonight so your skanky sisters don’t steal it… LOL, see you there?”

I’m a huge fan of picking up the phone and calling instead of texting. This way, you’re not only able to enjoy the company of hearing someone’s voice, but you can also use the inflection in their voice to pick up on certain clues. However, there are a handful of ways to tell through texts if he’s into you.

The main way is to pay attention to the time in which he’s texting you. If he texts you when you’re sure he’s with his friends or is out at an event, he’s probably interested in you. A lot of people think that texting during class is a surefire way of telling if he’s into you, but I just don’t see it, really. I tend to text in class out of sheer boredom. However, a sure sign that he’s interested is if he’s texting you late at night and the conversation doesn’t turn sexual. Guys who are looking for a relationship will, for the most part, respect the woman they’re courting. If we’re genuinely interested, we wouldn’t want to screw anything up by asking you what you’re wearing at 11 p.m. on a Friday.

Another good way to figure out if he likes you is to simply be flirty in your texts. Guys won’t go overboard with emoticons, but it’s perfectly fine to throw a winky face into a flirty text to see how he’ll respond. If he laughs at it or even sends one back, it’s a good sign!

In addition, one of the better ways to tell if he’s into you is to see when he tries to make plans. If we guys are interested, we’ll try and make plans to meet up after a while. I personally like to text for a short amount of time, and then meet again in person. If he just keeps texting you but doesn’t make any attempt to meet up with you, he might not be interested.

I know you said you didn’t want to ask him how he feels, but I would still recommend asking him to grab lunch on campus or something. If you have the choice, go to a place that provides ample distractions. If there’s a restaurant near campus with an outdoor patio that overlooks the street, that would be perfect. If you’re there with all those distractions and his eyes and body language are still pointed towards you, he’s probably interested.  However, if he at any point calls you “bro” (in a text or in person), he is definitely not interested.

Overall, just look at how considerate he is. He could be flirting just to get a read on you first. If he’s interested, he’ll eventually ask you to do something in person. If you don’t want to wait until then, don’t be afraid to ask him to do something first. In classic RLCG advice fashion, I’ll tell you that men love proactive women!

Broke from calling late night love lines for advice? Looking for the lowdown on the hoedown when it comes to college guys? Real Live College Guy Sean is here to help you pick apart the mind of the average college guy. Whether it’s avoiding that awkward weekend hook-up or full-on relationship advice, Sean is here to save the day!

I've been hanging out with this guy for five months now. It started as a casual hook-up and then he started texting me and we went out on a few really good dates. I've been seeing him every weekend for the past five months. About two months ago, we finally made things “official.” But now it feels like pulling teeth to see him. We still hang out every weekend, but we hardly ever do anything besides drink and watch TV. He never talks to me at all during the week, even if I text him first. I know he works Monday through Friday but he's home by 5... and he's always "too busy and tired" to hang out. He has 100 percent control of this relationship and I can feel him backing off. How do I turn things around? – Frustrated at FSU

Frustrated,

Sometimes, when you look back on your relationship, you can see signs of it going bad before it actually happens. For dudes, for example, if she repeatedly claims she’s looking for an “emotional soul mate” on the first date, you shouldn’t be too surprised if you find her stalking you with binoculars to see if you’re cheating on her.

In this case, however, it doesn’t look like you had many early signs that things would move south. Based on what you’ve told me, I’m surprised he committed in the first place.

There is literally nothing worse than finding out the person you’re dating is a deadbeat. I’d imagine that if things were as difficult as they are now, you wouldn’t have dove into this relationship. Relationships are a two-way street. If he’s been going through an especially stressful time at work, he should at least communicate that to you. However, I suspect that this isn’t the case.

Guys can be expert liars. Yes, I have days that run so long that all I want to do is be alone for a bit. However, on the most exhausting days, even relaxing or napping with my lady friend would be preferred to just not seeing her at all. On the other hand, even I have admittedly lied on a couple occasions to one of my exes. I was just too exhausted and wanted to be alone, but for some reason (I don’t know why), I would just lie and tell her I was too busy to hang out. I know it doesn’t make much sense, but in retrospect, it was a pretty destructive relationship, so that may be why. But I digress.

Especially since you guys haven’t been dating long, he should at least be “busy and tired” in your company. If he’s tired, nap together. If he’s busy with classes, hit the library together (and actually study). I don’t think that he’s not interested in you, but I do think that he’s a bit lazy when it comes to putting work into a relationship. You can’t just sit back and have everything come together like it does in the movies.  Regardless, you should do what makes you happy, and if this relationship just isn’t working out, then perhaps it’s time to move on.

It’s really not good that, as you said, he has 100 percent control over your relationship. If you’re unhappy sitting around drinking and watching television, then say so! Insist on seeing him, sit him down, and talk things out. Tell him how you feel and how things just aren’t working well at the moment. Make sure that you’re a priority in his life, because at least for now, it sounds like he won’t make plans because you’re a bit of a weekend girlfriend. You two should be working together and genuinely want to see one another. If he’s “too busy” or tired to make time for you, then why should you keep trying to keep things going?

So you’ve been hooking up with this guy for a few weeks, maybe even months, but it still hasn’t really progressed to the next level. He hasn’t asked you out to dinner, let alone asked you to be his girlfriend. You may have not even had the DTR talk yet. And this is about the seventh guy who has done this to you. WHAT THE EFF GIVES?

Before you get ahead of yourself and buy a house full of cats in preparation for your future days as a spinster, check out this list. While in some cases it may just be that the guy isn’t looking for a serious relationship, it’s also possible that you’re unintentionally acting in ways that put you in the hook-up or FWB category, rather than the girlfriend category.

1. You’re being THAT drunk girl (and talking about partying nonstop)

If your classic night out ends with you stumbling all over the place, hanging onto anyone who comes within a one-foot radius of you, or kneeling over a toilet (or not even making it to the toilet), then you may be labeled as THAT girl—and having THAT girl as a girlfriend can be an embarrassing burden. Who really wants to be the one who always has to clean up your mess and carry you home?

“Guys like girls that can drink and have fun—definitely a turn-on. But girls that are constantly really sloppy or talk about how sloppy they are are just a nuisance, more than anything,” says Mike, a sophomore at the University of Michigan. “A girl like that gets labeled as ‘that girl that threw up all over someone.’ When the only memory people have of you is vomiting—nasty—you're not girlfriend material.”

Nate, a sophomore at George Washington University, agrees. “There’s nothing worse than when a girl is constantly the one being looked after by her friends,” he says. “Any girl who just fell and can't find her phone and is simultaneously throwing up everywhere… no thanks. No one wants to date a scene-maker.”

Kiko a sophomore at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, says being “that girl” won’t get you past the hook-up stage. “Girls that try to come off as that ‘party girl’ completely scream ‘I don’t want to be in a relationship, I just want to f*ck dudes every weekend,” he says.

Getting wasted every night is a bad idea for plenty of reasons, and talking about it all the time just makes it seem like you’re actually proud that you projectile-vomited in the corner of the bar. So turn it down from blackout to buzzed. You’ll come off as fun yet responsible, rather than fun yet always passed out on some random dude’s couch by midnight. 

2. You act like you’re hot stuff  

Confidence is an awesome trait, and no one’s saying you shouldn't flaunt it if you’ve got it. But if you’re constantly parading around like you’re on the runway of the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, confidence can turn into unflattering conceitedness.

“A girl that is obnoxiously loud and acts like she’s hot sh*t the first time you meet her signals that she is a b*tch,” Mike says. “You can’t really talk to those types of girls. Maybe guys would want to hook up with them, but more than likely they just can’t stand being around girls like that. It’s much more annoying than it is attractive.”
Would I have to constantly feed her ego? Would I always be waiting three hours for her to get ready to go out? That’s what your potential boyfriend would ask himself if you can’t stop bragging about that time you got stopped on the street because you were mistaken for Mila Kunis. If you look anything like Mila Kunis, that’s amazing and I’m jealous of you, but play it cool and don’t act like you know it. Being confident, yet down-to-earth, is a gf-worthy combination.

3. You talk more smack than Gossip Girl

If you’re always gossiping and talking behind people’s backs, especially about your own friends, the guys you’re around may consider you catty, shallow, and disloyal—none of which are traits of an ideal girlfriend. Calling Trang Pak a “grotsky little beyotch” at a frat party right after you were seen hugging her makes you seem mean and fake—again, not ideal.

Incessant gossiping may scare guys away because if they think you love drama (by talking about it and causing it), they might imagine that you would be hard to deal with in a relationship, or that the relationship would be full of fighting.

Instead of gossiping, your best bet is to engage in interesting conversation with a guy. “It’s true that you meet most girls in a party scene, but the ones that have always stuck out to me have been the ones that have talked to me about things other than the typical topics of conversation,” says Kiko. “One time I met this girl at the bar [and] we ended up talking about politics for the first 30 minutes of our conversation. I was blown away. Even though we didn't necessarily agree on everything, I was impressed by her knowledge and confidence to talk about it with a guy at a bar.”

He adds, “If you don't mention at least something that shows that you know that there is a lot more in this world than inside your college campus, then don't expect anything more than a one night stand (if that).

4. You look like you haven’t showered since the finale of Gossip Girl

“Damn, I want to cuddle with her and wake up to that smell all the time,” said no guy ever when you’re sitting in class, emitting fumes from a previous gym sesh because you forgot to shower… for the past five days. 

“Guys like girls that put themselves together nicely,” Mike says. “If a girl is well-put together and cares about herself, it’s a very positive sign for girlfriend material. But, if a girl walks around looking like complete sh*t all the time, not showering, clearly kind of dirty, she turns guys off.”

This is not to say you have to curl your hair into perfect ringlets every day and never touch a pair of sweatpants. As Mike advises, “you don’t have to put on pounds of makeup either. Guys will notice that, too. Overly done, obvious makeup is not a look guys want to be around every day.” It’s all about finding that natural balance… and maybe a good perfume.

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5. You have a campus-wide reputation  

Just like you may write off a dude who has hooked up with half of your friends and is always seen bringing a different girl home every night, guys may be reluctant to date a girl with that reputation. Even if you're interested in settling down, getting around a lot tends to signal that you’re not looking for anything serious or exclusive. 

“Many guys don’t want date a girl who is a prude, but also don’t want a girl that your boys have heard SEVERAL stories about,” Mike says. “If you ask your friends about a girl and they can give you graphic stories on graphic stories about things she’s done... she's been around too much. Girls can get around, but keep it discrete. Once all that spreads, she’s not dateable in the eyes of most.”

If you had a wild run of hook-ups and earned yourself a reputation, but are now ready for a relationship, then tone it down and lay low for a bit. Hang out with the guys instead of hooking up with them, and you can reinvent yourself à la Jay Gatsby.

As for having sex the first time you get with a guy, the boys we interviewed are in consensus that this is not a deal-breaker in deciding whether or not you are girlfriend material. Kiko explains that though it may leave little to the imagination, first date sex is situational. Mike agrees. “If you like the girl and it just so happens that the first time you hook up you have sex, then maybe it’s a sign you get along well,” he says. “Guys do like a bit of a challenge, so not having sex may lead to more hook-ups until it does happen. But it really depends on the individual. Some guys just want to hook up and are not interested in relationships, so many times it has nothing to do with the girl. It's completely dependent on the situation and people involved.”

6. You never put down your cell phone

“There’s nothing worse than a girl that is clearly glued to her iPhone,” Kiko says. “Yeah, you know who you are, ‘girl that tries to be clever and not think I notice you texting at least three other guys.’ You're showing to me that you have other options than me and that after we hang out you're about to go to the next guy… some girls think they're really sneaky about this too, which just makes it worse.”

Plus, if you’re always texting or tweeting or Instagramming when a guy is trying to talk to you, it makes you seem uninterested and not invested in what he has to say. And if he can’t count on you to be there to listen and talk, he may think he’s better off keeping you in the FWB category.

7. You don’t get along with his best friends

“If she doesn't get along with your close friends, chances are she's not ‘the one,’” Nate says. “A guy may think that she's chill, but if all of his closest friends (who know him the best) don't see it, then she's probably not girlfriend material. Or, the dude will date her anyway and realize she is miserable three months and six expensive dinner dates later.”

Try to make an effort to get along with his crew. If they are unbearable, then you may want to reconsider the guy because, as Nate points out, those are the people closest to him, who he chooses to surround himself with. That can be a red flag if every single one of his friends drives you crazy—maybe he will, too.  

8. You’re way too clingy

If you’re clingy when you’re just casually hooking up, your guy—especially if he likes his space—may be freaked out that the clinginess would only increase if you were to date. In the movie How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days, one of the major tactics Kate Hudson’s character uses to freak out Matthew McConaughey’s character is constant nagging, checking in, and invading his plans and his space. Being unbelievably clingy can send some guys running for the hills.

If he doesn't respond to your first text, there’s no need to quadruple text him. If he has a guys’ night planned, don’t try to get invited or make him feel bad about not hanging out with you.  Making it clear that you enjoy spending time with him but have your own life and respect that he has his is important for many guys.

On a similar note, Kiko says it’s admirable when a girl has her own strong interests and real aspirations separate from the guy’s. “It shows that if you were to be in a relationship with this girl, she would have other things to focus on other than the relationship,” he says. “Typically, when girls have nothing else better to do than focus on their boyfriends, they complain, and ain't nobody got time for that.” 

This list is definitely not true for every single guy out there—every guy has his own preferences and pet peeves. However, if you notice that you’re guilty of a lot of these behaviors and are stuck in the friend or hook-up zone, making a few easy adjustments can go a long way. And, if all else fails, you always have the cats to fall back on. 

Moving to a new city can be rough. Once you’ve found an apartment and have gone through the grueling pack-unpack-decorate process, you’re still faced with the daunting task of meeting new people --especially guys. If thinking about trying to find a date in a new city makes your palms start to sweat, then keep reading—Her Campus is here with a list of easy ways to help you meet guys after you move!

1. Join a club or a sports team

Just after a big move is the perfect time to branch out and try something new! Whether you’re athletic or creative, it’s likely that classes are offered in something you’ve always wanted to try right in your new hometown. Taking a class or joining a recreational sports team could be the perfect way to meet the man of your dreams! Hit a pottery class at the local community center, or join a fitness class at the gym on your block.

There are likely soccer, kickball, or softball leagues in your new hometown, too, along with loads of other sports. Whether you’ve played before or not, joining these teams can give you a great opportunity to meet athletic, fun guys at the practices and games (and to celebrate with them after a big win!).  

If you want to get the ball rolling early, join a social networking site like MeetUp.com that will help you find people in your area who share your interests. Doing what you love will help you find a guy who likes rock-climbing, photography, or whatever else you enjoy just as much as you do!

2. Go out alone

It’s harder for guys to gather the courage to approach you when you’re dancing with a bunch of your girls or when you’re out to dinner with your best friend. So instead of taking along your pals next time, try going out alone! Bring a book to the coffee shop and sit at a table for two, or sit at a two-person table for lunch at a little café in your new town.

Try not to be on your laptop or phone, though—guys might feel like you’re waiting for someone if you’re constantly texting or like they’re interrupting your hard work if you’re typing away on your computer. You’ll come off as mysterious if you’re sitting alone and reading, and it will be easier for guys to approach you if you’re by yourself. Be sure to keep an eye out for guys sitting alone doing the same thing! 

Additionally, if one of your new friends in the area invites you to a party at their place, you shouldn’t drag a bunch of your female friends along with you. Going alone will force you to make conversation with new people since you won’t have a friend you already know keeping you occupied. It may sound intimidating, but since showing up solo requires confidence, it will make you exponentially more attractive to guys and will draw them to you (so you won’t be alone for long!).

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3. Make an online dating profile

Online dating doesn’t carry the same stigma that it used to have. In the past, it felt like online dating was a last resort—now, it’s just too convenient an option to pass up! Everyone’s constantly attached to their smartphones and laptops anyway, so why not use yours to meet a potential date?

“Online dating makes it so much easier for college students to find a date or [a] new boyfriend when they move to a new city,” says online dating expert Julie Spira.

Whether you go for Match.com, OKCupid, or any other popular online dating website, make sure you’re being safe in how you use it.  “It’s best to keep dates in a new city casual in the beginning,” Spira says. “No late night booty calls for drinks should be added to your date card. Always let a friend know who you are meeting and where you’re going.”

If the idea of creating an online dating profile sounds too daunting, you can join Friendster, a global social network that connects people with each other based on common interests.  With Friendster, you can select an activity you’d like to do, whether you’d like to do it with a boy or a girl, and how old you’d like the person to be. Then, the site will set you up with someone else to hang out with!

The key here is to remember that if someone else has an online dating or Friendster profile, then clearly they’re looking to meet people, too—so don’t be nervous! Though meeting each other in person may be uncomfortable at first, as long as you come off as confident, friendly, and open, meeting people through an online profile can be a huge success.

4. Have your friends introduce you to guys

Maybe you haven’t meant any guys yet, but if you’ve made female friends since your move, they could be the key to finding the man of your dreams. Once you make some female friends, they’ll be able to introduce you to (or even set you up with) their guy friends!

“Let neighbors and new friends know that you’d like to be fixed up,” Spira says. “You just never know; your next door neighbor might have a cute cousin that just became available. Keep all your options open and cast a wide net.”

Clara Beyer, a sophomore at Brown University, used this tactic to find a great guy last summer.  “I knew basically one person in the city I was staying in,” she says. “He introduced me to a friend of his, she invited me to a party, and I met a guy at that party who I ended up casually dating for most of the summer.”

Though Clara hadn’t really wanted to go to the party originally, she broke out of her comfort zone and ended up having fun and meeting a great guy! “Basically, the best way to meet guys is to meet people,” Clara says. “The best way to meet people is to get out there and go do things! If someone invites you to do something (you know, within reason), say yes. It might pay off!”

The most important thing to remember is that there are loads of guys roaming around your new hometown just waiting to meet the right girl. If you’re open-minded and confident enough, there are limitless ways that you could meet the guy of your dreams in your area! 

Desperately trying to understand the inscrutable mind of the college male? Real Live College Guy Joel (replete with a name way cooler than those of RLCGs Joe and Joey) is here to help you out, call you out, write you a poem to show you you’re great, etc. From major emotional drama to the minutiae of social interaction, use him as your one-stop shop for guy advice.
 
I’m dating a guy who my friends all hate because not only is he not very nice to them, he’s also known to be a player, so they don’t trust him. I’m afraid this will ruin my relationship – I really care about him, and it’s important to me for my boyfriend and my friends to get along well. Are my friends just seeing something I’m not seeing? At what point should I start listening to them, and how do I get my boyfriend to make an effort with them? - Not a Player Hater at Northwestern
 

Not a Player Hater,

 Contrary to the opinion of the Spice Girls, a perfectly healthy relationship need not involve more than a nodding cordiality between boyfriend and friends. However, it worries me that you so openly admit that this guy is a jerk to them. This may just be a defense mechanism if your friends are openly hostile to him, but the first thing you need to do is sit this guy down and talk to him about why he acts this way.
 
But be careful about how you approach the matter. Do not (I repeat: do not) get angry or emotional. Try to stay impartial; instead of asking, “Why aren’t you nicer?” ask, “Why do you think you haven’t really gelled with so-and-so?” Okay, use a less dweeby word than gelled, but you get the idea. Avoid putting the blame on anyone. He will be really turned off if you get accusatory. If he blames your friends, explain that they just worry about you and that you will talk to them as well. Be as conciliatory as possible, and then see how he responds and if he behaves better in the future. If he really cares about you, he will listen and start behaving himself better.

It sounds as though you realize that your friends are suspicious because they love you and want to protect you. However, all too often fierce loyalty inhibits generosity of spirit. Usually, someone can perceive a lot about a friend’s relationship from standing at a cool distance, but it sounds as though your friends barely know this guy. 

I may be wrong, but it seems as though they’ve passed judgment on him primarily based off of his hook-up history. That’s not entirely their fault because he’s made no attempt to get acquainted with them. Here again, approach with impartiality, but you can express your angst with them (these are your BFFLs, after all). Explain to them that you care deeply for this guy and that they should give him more of a chance and disregard his past, cough, busyness. 
 
Now, the ball here is definitely in this guy’s court. If he really cares about you, he needs to make an effort with your friends even though they’re obviously uneasy with the idea of you two together. What I would suggest is asking your friends for a ceasefire on all backbiting about this guy during, say, the three weeks after you have talked with him. If his behavior has not improved, then it’s clear he’s uninterested in proving his worth. 
 
Obviously, the guy should be totally in the dark about this. The worst thing you can possibly do is give him an ultimatum. Just try to coax him into sharing why he has not made an effort with people you care about, and then see if he tries to make amends.  Your friends, in turn, need to keep more open minds. You will have to walk a tightrope, trying to maintain all of your relationships without alienating anyone. It will not be easy, but if all these people care about you, then they will understand where you are coming from.

Things I did today: ate a bowl of Cheerios, rode the subway to work, and received a psychic love reading that explored all aspects of my love life—such as what I need, why I’m not getting it, and how to make it happen—all within a 10-minute phone conversation with an authentic psychic medium. Pretty typical, I’d say.

This afternoon I spoke with Mari, one of the many rigorously screened psychics of Hollywood Psychics. Not having much experience in the realm of psychic readings—or love, for that matter—I was curious to see what a complete stranger (albeit a clairvoyant one) would have to say about my love life. I imagined myself sitting across from a woman draped in scarves in a dimly lit room reeking of incense as she mumbled incoherently over a crystal ball (“Ohm… I see you… all alone… forever… ohm”). Instead, after introducing myself to Mari over the phone with my usual composed charm (“Hi—er, hello... um, I’m Corinne… er, can you hear me okay?”) and asking for a general reading on my love life (since I had no specific inquires in mind), my love present and future began to be evaluated.

According to Mari, I am on the cusp of a new beginning. Sick of following all the rules and ending up defeated time and time again, I am now taking the time for spiritual growth and for learning to value myself. A whole new energy is coming in, she said—an empowerment energy that’s allowing me to set new boundaries and search for a higher breed of people. “Right now, you are getting stronger and stronger every single day,” Mari claimed, as I am slowly breaking from my old patterns, but she said I must be patient. I have been working hard to demand more for myself, she said, and by the end of the year she felt that I would have a solid relationship that I will be very comfortable in.

All that from “Um, I’m Corinne.” And, once I took a moment to consider my current situation, I realized—full disclosure—just how eerily accurate the reading was. Best part of the reading: confirmation that I wouldn’t end up forever alone. Huzzah!

Though I spoke with Mari on the phone, you also have the option to chat with any of the psychics online for a more confidential experience. Calls and online chats don’t require a subscription; Hollywood Psychics allows you to pay by the minute and to chat for as long as you’d like with flexible payments, no hidden charges, and no obligation. They’re even offering a special promotion where new members can get the first three minutes of their paid psychic reading for free. From tarot readings, to dream interpretations, to spiritual guidance, to psychic astrology readings, to love psychic readings (like I received!), Hollywood Psychics can help anyone make a little bit more sense of this crazy world.

We all realized long ago that Noah and Allie’s summer love from The Notebook might have been too good to be true. (Just kidding… we didn’t. But that’s okay; girls can dream, can’t they?)

And although a summer romance does seem exciting and captivating, the reality is that sometimes (and by sometimes, we mean most of the time), boys cause more problems than they solve. And who wants problems over the summer?

Whether you’re taking a break from your relationship at school for the summer or just continuing your stint with the single life, here are a few reasons to embrace your summer of solitude and enjoy the sweet, simple, non-testosterone parts of life.

1. You’ll stress less

Summer is all about relaxing and de-stressing from the pressures of school. So why carry any stress into your vacation time? Boys equal stress. Whether you’re trying to decipher his ambiguous text messages, freaking out over what to wear to a movie date, or dealing with the pressure from your fling to do things physically, if your guy is causing more stress than he’s relieving with his movie-star smile, he’s not worth it, plain and simple. There will be plenty of guys waiting to stress you out when you get back to school in the fall–you can be sure of that.

And, if you absolutely can’t resist...

2. You’re free to have fun, flirty flings

Let’s set a few things straight: just because you’re not seriously dating anyone doesn’t mean you have to stay 100 percent clear of boys this summer! When you’re not tied down to one guy, you’re at liberty to have hot summer flings with whomever you want. If you keep an open, carefree mindset, you won’t prevent yourself from having fun.

Embrace your freedom and the fresh, go-with-the-flow vibe that accompanies summer. If an attractive boy comes your way, don’t be afraid to just go for it! Beach trips, fireworks, and ice cream cones are often better shared, whether it’s with one boy or two (or three). And even if you don’t want to hook up with people this summer, you’ll still have the freedom to dance and flirt with other guys, guilt-free.

3. You can take a technology detox

You shouldn’t be wasting away in front of a computer monitor when it’s beautiful and sunny out—same goes for a cell phone screen. Summer is the perfect time to go on a cleanse of the technology (not juice!) variety. With school on hold for three months, you no longer have to stay on top of emails from professors, club list-servs, or text message party invites. The same goes for the technology overload that always accompanies male interaction. Technology is a huge part of the college dating world, either in the form of constant texting, Facebook stalking his ex, or taking the daring step of following him on Instagram. Spend your well-deserved vacation on the beach, going on a hike with friends, or in your backyard with family—not texting http://www.hercampus.com/love/how-flirt-text him, waiting for him to text you, wondering why he didn’t text you back… you know the rest.

4. You’ll have more girl time

It can be really difficult to split time between your guy and your girl friends during the school year, but it becomes even harder at home over the summer when you have a lot of catching up to do with your high school friends. Everyone will also be on different schedules based on when they return from and leave for school, if they have summer jobs and internships, or if they’re traveling, so you’ll want to have as much time as possible to spend with all of them! Whether it be checking out the concert scene http://www.hercampus.com/life/entertainment/10-concerts-you-won-t-want-m... near you or just having a backyard barbecue, use your few summer weeks wisely to reconnect with the girls who mean a lot to you. You’ll realize how much you missed the people who know you so well, and they’ll only reinforce your confidence in the fact that you don’t need a guy to make you happy!

5. You’ll have more YOU time!

It’s hard to realize how much time boys can consume until you’re no longer dating one. This freedom will only get better during the summer months when classes, club meetings, and 12-page papers aren’t filling up your schedule. With all this free time, you’ll be surprised at how much you’ll get done and how great you’ll feel about it!

Madison, a student at Colgate University, is trying to make the most of her single summer and flexible schedule. “I’m interning and living in New York City with some friends this summer, and by the time we all get home from work around 6 p.m., we’re exhausted and excited to just have girl time,” she says. “It’s nice not having to worry about looking hot for my guy or planning dates when I’m really wiped from work.”

Madison says being single for the summer lets her do what she really wants to do. “I also love that since I’m not tied down by a boyfriend, I can plan awesome trips with my roommates to museums and shows that boys wouldn’t really want to go to,” she says. “I even have enough free time to take an Arabic language class on Thursdays and Fridays, which I’m really excited about.”

Don’t want to take a class? Try knocking some books (or movies) off your bucket list, finding a new running trail, learning a new skill, finally trying those awesome DIY projects you’ve pinned on Pinterest, or taking a road trip with your family. They miss you! You are more important than any summer fling will be, so take some time to focus on you.

Whether you’re packing in the activities and adventures or just taking time to breathe post-school, you should focus on what makes you happy this summer... whether that includes a guy or not is up to you!

Happy summer, collegiettes!