As Sandy and Danny will attest, there is nothing like summer love. Summer is a time of casual Fridays, spontaneous travel, and eating ice cream in the street—everyone feels more free. So how do you tame your summer fling into a fall boyfriend? Collegiettes weigh in:

Keep it casual—at first.

No one wants to hear a profession of love a few weeks into dating! Summer romance is fun because it’s carefree. Mayssa, New York University ’13, who was abroad in Rome last summer, told HC that it’s important to keep a “summer boy” guessing. “Don’t move too fast,” she says. “You have to leave something to look forward to!” Mayssa found this play-it-cool strategy to work particularly well with Euro boys.

To do: Plan a date a week in advance, not a month. (If you MUST get concert tickets ahead, don’t mention them to him until closer to the date of the show.) By keeping things light and making plans on the fly, you’ll show your summer boy that by staying with you, he would guarantee himself a fall semester that’s anything but boring.

Introduce him to one or two of your friends.

While he’s not a serious boyfriend yet, it’s important that he get to know your life outside of the summer situation you have going on. What you don’t want to do is overwhelm him with your six best girlfriends. Pick one or two of your friends who sit on the “chill” side of the spectrum (be honest, you know who they are) to meet him before everyone else. Once he starts to meet your friends, he’ll feel more connected to you, get to know you better, and be able to picture what dating you (past the summer) would be like.

To do: Schedule happy hour or casual bowling and invite him to stop by. It’s a no pressure situation!

Take his cues.

Is he texting you every single day to meet up? Or is he only asking what you’re up to on weekends? It’s important to notice how he’s acting towards you—guys are pretty obvious creatures, no? “My summer boy last year only texted me late at night at first,” says Sarah, Colby College ’13. “But I knew when he asked me out during the day that he was getting more serious about dating!” Once you get the vibe that the guy is more serious, it is okay to make your intentions known.

To do: Let him know that you like what he’s doing. For example, say, “I love getting your texts at work! Makes the day go by so much faster,” or “I really appreciate you checking in with me before I go to bed.” It’s important to compliment his good deeds so he knows to keep doing them. The more he communicates with you, the more he’ll think and learn about you. Soon he won’t be able to imagine not talking to you and texting you, and that’s when he’ll decide he would rather stay with you than lose you.

Have “the talk” before the end of the summer.

Mayssa says it’s important not to leave things murky when you leave each other in August: “Don’t leave it open-ended so that you have to sort it out when you’re away from each other.” While you don’t need to bring up long-term plans in June, you will want to know what you are to each other before you go back to school. She and her boyfriend talked two weeks before she had to leave Rome—and they decided to stay together!

To do: Decide what you want before the talk and let him know, specifically. For example, say, “I’d like to continue dating, and I think if we visit each other at least once a month, it could work.”

Taming a summer boy doesn’t have to be a chore. Play it cool in the beginning and let him into your “real,” non-summer life little by little. By fall, it will be clear to both of you that the relationship is worth continuing if you’re still having a ton of fun.

How did you tame your summer boys? Or are they better left un-tamed? Let us know in the comments!

From revamped superheroes to the most eligible bachelor of the 1920s, this summer’s lineup of leading men is too hot for television, which is why they’re scorching up the big screen! And bigger is always better when you are seated in front of a 40-foot projection of Superman’s flawless face (Drool? No, this puddle is from my spilled Coke…). We’ve served up a buffet of male actors and selected only the sweetest eye candy for your pleasure—your dentist can thank us later. No matter your flavor, we guarantee there is an on-screen cutie to suit your tastes. So pause your TiVo and see what delicious men are gracing your movie theaters for the summer of 2013!

If you like the courageous type, you’ll love… Henry Cavill in Man of Steel

There’s nothing quite like a classic superhero movie to kick-start our summer celebrity crushes, and we’re probably not alone in thinking Henry Cavill is the one fine way to begin. You may have seen the British actor—and heard his dreamy accent—in the TV series The Tudors, where he made man leggings and bedazzled coats look flattering. So it comes as no surprise that he looks just as fantastic in blue and red spandex.

The superhuman hottie has had years of experience wooing viewers like Kate, a senior and HC Campus Correspondent at Skidmore College. She says, “I've been nursing a serious crush for him since he was a youngin' in The Count of Monte Cristo, so I can't wait to see him all grown up! Geeky Clark Kent by day and swoon-worthy hero by night? Honestly, I can't think of any part of that that I wouldn't like.”

If you like the sophisticated type, you’ll love… Leonardo DiCaprio in The Great Gatsby

Few makeovers come close to DiCaprio’s starving-artist-to-dashing-escort transformation in Titanic. But now, almost two decades later, Leo has traded his priceless maritime romance for new money, namely for his role of millionaire Jay Gatsby in The Great Gatsby, the hot romantic blockbuster based on F. Scott Fitzgerald’s classic novel.

DiCaprio plays the party-loving neighbor of Nick Carraway (played by Tobey Maguire), a newcomer to the wealthy West Egg district. DiCaprio is the poster boy for class and shows us a man can be both the life of the party and a hopeless romantic. He pursues a forbidden romance with his longtime crush, Daisy Buchanan (played by Carey Mulligan), after many nighttime stakeouts looking for the light by her dock (and if that’s not a declaration of love, then we don’t know what is). The girl knows her fashion, but we aren’t so sure about her taste in men. What kind of girl would keep Leo waiting for years?

If you like the tough type, you’ll love… Hugh Jackman in The Wolverine

In the latest installment of the X-Men series, rough-and-tumble Jackman is offered a cure for his immortality, which is a shame, because there’s something romantic about forever actually meaning forever. Despite experiencing more humanlike characteristics (like flesh wounds that last longer than a few seconds), this troublemaker can’t help indulging his combative instincts. Jackman’s fearlessness in battle is total turn-on (although it makes us cringe during brutal fight scenes—and there are many!). We just hope this beauty of a beast survives the movie because immortal or not, Jackman is a leading man we could stare at for eternity!

If you like the silly type, you’ll love… James Franco in This Is The End

As if James Franco didn’t go through enough torture in 127 Hours (we’re still trying to forget that gruesome self-amputation scene), he faces yet another disaster in this summer’s funniest apocalyptic comedy (do those two words usually go together?). Franco co-stars with a stacked cast of natural comedians, such as Jonah Hill and Seth Rogen, and big names like Rihanna and Emma Watson—all who play themselves! The storyline follows an unlikely mix of celebrities to a party at Franco’s house, where an end-of-the-world crisis occurs mid-dance tune. But we must say, being quarantined in a house with a disheveled Franco would not be our worst nightmare!

We love how the dog-eat-dog mentality brings out Franco’s goofy side (and Emma Watson’s scary side in a robbery involving an axe). Despite having a collection of impressive roles under his belt, Franco doesn’t take himself too seriously—and we love a man with a sense of humor! He’s a pro at letting loose (refer to his dopiest role yet in Spring Breakers), but he also has Bear Grylls survival skills to be our knight in shining armor in any worst-case scenario.

If you like the independent type, you’ll love… Paul Walker in Fast & Furious 6

From undercover cop to criminal to man above the law, Walker’s change in loyalty throughout the Fast & Furious series is on the verge of giving us whiplash. But we can totally respect a guy who marches to the beat of his own drum. He has the bull-headed determination that thrives in a zero-to-60 lifestyle, yet there are some things in Brian O’Conner’s life that are worth the sacrifice, such his on-and-off love interest, Mia. After five movies of relationship turbulence, however, the couple reaches a new high with the arrival of their first child! Even though street racing doesn’t exactly scream: “Father of the Year,” we’re excited to see Walker’s nurturing side as well as his usual expertise behind the steering wheel.

If you like the mysterious type, you’ll love… Armie Hammer in The Lone Ranger

You may remember this rising star from The Social Network where he played the dual role of entrepreneurial powerhouse the Winklevoss twins (have mercy, we can barely handle one of him!). Hammer makes his return to the big screen in this action-packed western film, playing the rugged, justice-seeking Lone Ranger who wears a mask to protect his identity. However, we think the real purpose of the mask is to achieve his sexy vigilante-on-the-run look, complete with a cowboy hat and an impeccable five o’clock shadow. Whatever the reason, we hope the mask doesn’t stay on for long (Is obstruction of perfection a crime?). Between the sweltering hot lead actors (Johnny Depp plays Hammer’s loyal sidekick) and pulse-quickening plot, this movie will surely leave your heart Hammering.

When the end credits roll, it doesn’t mean your infatuation has to end (but you do have to pick your jaw up from the ground and leave the theater). Tell us your favorite leading man in the comments below! Then, invest in a poster (or five) to hold you over until the DVDs come out.

So, that guy who sits three desks down from you at your internship is so cute. And smart. And hilarious. You find yourself slowly turning into the Skintern (tsk, tsk) to catch his attention. He sends you cute lunch date e-mail requests and jokes to you under his breath about all the characters you have to deal with in the office. He’s the Jim to your Pam.

But that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the right time or place to jump into an office romance. While they can be exciting and a great way to make your day at your internship happier, intern romances or even just hook-ups can also cause a lot of trouble, and may not be the best place to find your summer love. So if you find yourself flirting with that cutie from the marketing department, read this before you go playing footsies under the conference room table.

Consider the office dynamic

A huge factor to keep in mind when entering into a work fling is the dynamic at the workplace. Whether you’re an intern at a small start-up with fewer than 50 employees or an intern at a large corporation with branches all over the country, an office romance can still be pretty iffy to get away with.

If you’re interning at a small company, it can be harder to both keep your fling a secret and avoid any awkward repercussions should anything go wrong with it.

“Office hook-ups are dangerous territory,” says Kathleen Bogle, author of Hooking Up: Sex, Dating and Relationships on Campus. “Some people, men in particular, will avoid office hook-ups because they don’t like getting involved with someone who cannot be avoided after the fact.”

Sound familiar? Not something you want to be dealing with (or making the rest of your small office watch you deal with) for the rest of the summer.

If you’re interning at a larger company, you’re also in a sticky position, because although you most likely have less direct supervision, your actions and your work speak will extra loudly. You have fewer chances to impress your bosses and superiors, so you have to make each opportunity to do so really count. Don’t let the only time your boss sees you all week be when you’re flirting with another intern over the water cooler instead of getting your work done—he or she could think you’re taking boys more seriously than your internship.

Consider how it will affect your future

Internships can open many doors for your career in the future, but only if you gain the right experience and foster the right relationships during them. Even if you’re interning in a field or company that you don’t see yourself at 10 years from now, your supervisor is still going to be the person who a future employer would ask about your work ethic and how you conducted yourself at the office. What you may think doesn’t count now might hinder you later on.

“Summer internships give you a few short weeks to prove your intelligence and your work ethic, no matter what kind of work you’re doing,” says Alissa, a sophomore at UNC-Chapel Hill. “If you’re hooking up with another intern and can actually manage to keep it a secret, I guess that’s okay, but there’s always a chance that your bosses or superiors will find out and that will render you less professional in their eyes. They’ll think that you couldn’t even focus on the internship for such a short period of time without being distracted by boys.”

Consider if he’s really worth it

But what if you’re really, really into that fellow intern? Feelings are feelings, and there’s no way to control whether or not those feelings seep into your internship.

“The workplace is an obvious place for sexual and romantic interest to strike up, but these situations are not so easy to manage,” Bogle says.

If you absolutely can’t resist getting to know him better, try to seek out opportunities to hang out outside of your internship. This will not only help keep the potential fling under wraps, but it will also give you the chance to decide if he’s actually interesting and funny, or if he’s just some much-needed comic relief in a boring office. Assess whether or not he’s worth the risk of the problems that could result after a breakup.

“Since most hook-ups, or dates for that matter, don’t lead to walking off into the sunset, then you have to consider how you will handle working with someone when it’s over,” says Bogle. “As much as we would like relationships to end on good terms, often one person wants to end it and hurts the other, and that is not something you want to deal with every day at work.

“I am not saying that office romances should always be avoided; many people meet someone they really care about, possibly even their future spouse, at work,” says Bogle. “But, you do have to be careful not to get in over your head unless the potential relationship is work the potential risks.”

So where does this leave us? Are we forbidden from internship hook-ups and romances, or is there some wiggle room? While it really does depend on the situation, collegiettes definitely need to keep their wits about them during their summer internship and consider all of the benefits and consequences before engaging in an internship fling.

Collegiettes, what’s your stance on internship hook-ups and romances? Have you or would you ever have one? Let us know in the comments below! 

Games are fun, aren’t they? Though we’ve graduated from our Candy Land and Barbie days, we still gravitate toward playing games – mind games, that is. But now, instead of messing around with Ken dolls, we’ve got some real boys with whom we can play.
 
For some, it’s addictive to mess around with a guy’s mind. But as the infrequent mind tricks turn into month-long tournaments of game playing, the appeal is lost. All a guy wonders is who the crazy lady who replaced his sweet girlfriend is.
 
So, are we really the brain ninjas that Dane Cook makes all women out to be, planting detonators in our guys’ heads just to set them off? Read below to find out the dos and don’ts of navigating the most common games of love.

Scenario: Your guy texts you to say he’s leaving to pick you up in five minutes, but you’re sitting in the bathroom with no makeup on and only half of your hair straightened.
 
Don’t: Respond, “Okay, just honk, and I’ll come meet you outside!”
 
Why: Collegiettes, honesty really is the best policy. You know you won’t be ready by the time he gets to your place, so why the charade? If it’s to make a big entrance as you waltz into the living room where he’s been sitting and stewing for half an hour, you can make just as big of an impression when on time. If it’s because you’re secretly bitter that you settled upon his choice of restaurant, there’s always next Saturday. Show him a little respect for actually taking you out instead of making you spend the night watching him play Xbox with his friends.
 
Do: Immediately respond by saying, “I’m actually running a little behind, and I don’t want to make you wait. Can you give me 20 more minutes? So excited for tonight!”
 
Why: He may be a little annoyed that you didn’t plan your time better, but at least he can wait in the comfort of his own home instead of in your living room. Be sure to add in an apology and a little line about your excitement for the night so that he knows you still care.

Scenario: You finally succeeded in dragging your guy to the mall with you, and you’re trying on a dress that you know makes you look like a hundred bucks.
 
Don’t: Saunter out of the dressing room and ask your guy, “Does this make me look fat?”
 
Why: Really? You’re going to ask this question? If he says no, then you will probably over analyze the tone, pronunciation and inflection of his response and eventually convince yourself he’s lying – causing you to run back into the dressing room, sobbing and leaving him speechless. If he says yes, then you will still end up running back into the dressing room, sobbing and leaving him speechless (you may or may not slap him in the face first, but we discourage this). Plus, asking, “Does this make me look fat?” is the most obvious mind game a collegiette™ can play on a guy; he will probably see right through you, and it definitely won’t make him like you more – no matter how good you look in that dress.
 
Do: Peek outside and ask, “Will you zip me up?” as you turn around.
 
Why: You were looking for his attention before, and now you’ve definitely got it. His wide-eyed appreciation for the way the dress hugs your every curve is all the approval you could’ve ever wanted from him.

Scenario: He texts you, “Hey babe, what’s going on?” You’re lying in bed, watching an all-day marathon of The O.C., with no solid plans for the rest of the day.
 
Don’t: Look at his message right away but wait to text back until at least an hour and a half later.
 
Why: No, really – why? Why would you make him wonder and squirm for that long, when all that’s going on is the 600th downfall of Seth and Summer’s unrealistic high school romance? You want to appear busy, but when you respond much later with, “Nothing really. You?” the waiting game you played seems pointless.
 
Do: Write back, “Just catching up on some good ol’ O.C.reruns, but I kind of want to get out of the house. Do you want to do something?”
 
Why: Most guys don’t top their list of must-haves in a potential girlfriend with, “Busiest social butterfly with a million things to do,” so there’s no need to pretend that’s who you are. Telling him what you’re really up to presents the perfect opportunity to slide in an invitation to hang out. Plus, it’ll bypass all of the nervous one-word texts that are exchanged before someone actually gains the courage to ask the other out.

Scenario: You two are on your doorstep after the best first date you’ve had in a long time. It’s obvious he’s going to lean in for a kiss in five, four, three, two...
 
Don’t: Turn your cheek.
 
Why: Your idea may be to make him want what he can’t have, but he’ll only think that your last four hours together were a disaster. If it truly is your policy to wait for at least the second date to kiss a guy, make the first move by leaning up to kiss him on the cheek and tell him what an amazing night you had. He’ll be able to tell you care, and you’ll be able to wait out a kiss until you’re ready.
 
Do: Go for it.
 
Why: We all know actions speak louder than words, so if you had a good time, by all means, show him. You’ll guarantee yourself a second date and a happy guy left wanting more of that breath-stealing smooch you planted on him.

Scenario: You ran into your ex recently, and now he’s texting you and writing on your Facebook wall.
 
Don’t: Tell your boyfriend that your ex won’t stop talking to you, and you think he wants to get back together.
 
Why: Unless your goal is to create an insanely jealous beau, the suspicion that your ex may want to get back together is an embellishment you don’t want to add to your story. If Mr. Wrong from a year ago has been talking to you but never actually said he wants to be a “we” again, telling your boyfriend he does won’t make your guy more attracted to you; instead, it’ll create trust issues that you don’t want or need.
 
Do: Let your boyfriend know about your blast from the past, so he doesn’t find out about it via your Facebook.
 
Why: Everyone has a past, and just because yours includes a few relationships doesn’t mean you have anything to hide. Tell your guy the truth (without any unnecessary speculation). There may still be a little jealousy on his end – after all, what guy wouldn’t be a little nervous about the possibility of losing you? But by keeping things on the up and up, you’ll prevent a small secret from turning into relationship-ending lie.

Scenario: You’re definitely not ready to go all the waywith him yet, but boy are his kisses getting steamier and sexier.

Don’t: Let him unhook your bra, put his hand up your skirt or do anything else that would lead him to believe he’s gettin’ some tonight.
 
Why: Sure, there are some guys (okay, maybe just a few) that like to please their ladies more than they like to be pleasured themselves. But by allowing him to do things to you and then holding out when it’s ‘his turn,’ you’re bestowing upon yourself one of the worst labels a collegiette™ can have: a tease. Without an explanation from you, the fact that you’re letting him skip some bases with you leads him to believe you’re comfortable doing the same with him.
 
Do: Stop him before things get even hotter and heavier and tell him that you aren’t quite ready to take that step.
 
Why: If a guy can’t respect you’re morals (especially when it comes to the bedroom), he’s not worth trying to keep around, anyway. Tell him the truth about why you’ve been holding out, though, and he could be more understanding of how you feel. Plus, letting him in on your thoughts about the subject may make you two closer and more comfortable with each other.

 
So, collegiettes, now it’s time to spill. Have you ever been guilty of playing mind games on your guy? How did it turn out?
 
 
Sources
http://www.askdeb.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/style-curly-hair.jpg
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/cm/cosmopolitan/images/X9/cos-woman-trying-o...
http://www.textinggirls.com/images/woman-texting-0909-mdn.jpg
http://cdn.sheknows.com/articles/2010/12/DecImages/couple-kissing-outsid...
http://collegecandy.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/jealous-boyfriend.jpg?w=...
http://lovearoma.blog.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/00/03/14/02/3140225/files...

Sometimes you just can’t believe what comes out of a college guy’s mouth. Once again, we’ve compiled a list of hilarious, unbelievable, and just downright strange things college guys have said to or about collegiettes!

• “A male senior said this to one of his friends one night as I was checking IDs into a party: ‘Dude, dude, you don't want to go up there, man. The party sucks. They're not letting any underage girls in.’” – Kevin, Babson College ‘14

• “One guy said, ‘Do girls just play with their boobs all the time? Because if I were a girl, I'd totally play with my boobs all the time.’” – Mary, Washington University in St. Louis ‘15

• “How I got asked out on a date one time: ‘So… do you want to do something sober sometime?’” – Lindsay, Emerson College ‘15

• “One guy told me he loves me more than [a] Rubik’s Cube. That was supposed to be romantic...” ––Patricia, University of Western Ontario ‘14

• “[My boyfriend] said to me the other day when we were talking about things: ‘You're just so fun. I have fun doing things with you. You're almost like a sibling!’ Not a good thing to hear a boyfriend say!” – Gladys*, Douglas College ‘14

• “I have a friend who always uses this pick-up line at bars: ‘Hello, lass, has anyone ever told you that your eyes look like the Irish countryside after the spring rain?’ He then says something along the lines of him being in town for only a couple more days. Of course, this is all said in an authentic-sounding Irish accent, which contributes to his (self-claimed) ‘high success rate.’” – Jenny*, Simon Fraser University ‘15

• “My boyfriend put each of my boobs on each of his eyes and said: ‘Look, boob glasses!’” – Janice*, University of British Columbia ‘15

• Said to Ella*, Kwantlen Polytechnic University ‘14: “If I’m going to hook up with a girl, she has to be a beer drinker.”

• “A guy used the cheesiest pick-up line on me, but it worked. He said, with a completely straight face: ‘Did you just fart? Because you blew me away!’ It definitely got my attention and made me laugh.” – Emily*, Simon Fraser University ‘14

• “My ex’s explanation for why he thought he could tell me how to dress: ‘I’m sorry, I’m so used to playing video games where you can customize your characters, so I guess I felt I could do the same in real life.’” – Rita*, British Columbia Institute of Technology ‘14

• “[My] ex-boyfriend was giving relationship advice to another friend of ours in front of me, and he was like: ‘A guy should never tell a girl that she's too good for him. He has to sound confident and keep her guessing.’ I just rolled my eyes and said, ‘Yeah, cause you would know.’ I definitely recall him once telling me I was too good for him.” – Patricia, University of Western Ontario ‘14

• Said to Shira, Franklin & Marshall College ‘15: “I want to be a momma’s boy forever.”

• “[My boyfriend] doesn’t like it when I wear red lipstick. He said: ‘All I see are lips! You don’t have a face! Just lips!’” – Theresa*, Kwantlen Polytechnic University’13

• “I was heading home with a guy I met at a club and as we were getting into the cab I asked him to hold my black Chanel knockoff purse. He then went, in a high-pitched voice, ‘Ooh! Nice purse!’” – Irene*, Douglas College ‘13

• “At the gym at the University of Oregon (said in a very bro-y voice): ‘Dude, I miss the Cali girls. These Oregon girls are so pasty pale, brah, like come on, get a tan.’” – Rebecca, University of Oregon ‘14

• “One time my boyfriend greeted me by saying: ‘You’re looking perkier today!’ …while eyeing my boobs.” –Janice*, University of British Columbia ‘15

*Names changed have been changed to protect identities.

If you have any funny quotes from college guys, share them in the comments!

Name: Drew Klingner
From (Hometown): The northwest side of Chicago and have lived there my whole life.
Major: Double majoring in Theater Studies and Public Policy
Year: Sophomore.

Tell me a bit about Me Too Monologues- how was it working with the cast? What did you learn about yourself/what did you learn?
Working with the cast was phenomenal, because each cast member felt such an urgency to do his or her monologue justice. The energy during rehearsals was great, and everyone was super excited to help out. If I learned one thing from the Me Too Monologues it was that you are not alone in your problems. There is inevitably someone on Duke's campus that shares your emotions and experiences. I guess the thing I learned about myself is that I have a lot of fun putting myself out there and not holding back in performances. 

What’s your favorite memory so far from your years at Duke?
My favorite Duke memory was performing with Rhythm and Blue at the Freshman Orientation A Cappella Concert this year. The crowd was enormous and extremely energetic! Singing in that concert was such a rush! 

Are you studying abroad? If so, where and why?
Im doing the Duke in London Drama Program this summer, because we will see over 30 plays and musicals while we are there, and learn from some of the best actors in London. In the fall, I'll be attending the Duke in New York: Arts and Media program in order to get a head start in NYC and experience all that the city has to offer. I'm looking into getting an internship on Broadway.  

What’s your favorite dessert?
Anything with chocolate :) 

Name: Tadeu Velloso
Hometown: Belo Horizonte, Minas Gerias, Brasil
Major: Org Comm with a minor in History (Pre-Law).

What is it like to be a foreign hottie? 
**slight giggle** Well, it’s fun.

What is your favorite thing about Brazil? 
Tropical rain and my minha familia.

Do you know the Girl from Ipanema? 
We used to play barefoot volleyball in the streets of Belo Horizonte.

What do you like to do in your free time? 
Play futbol, drink Guarana and dance to “Ai Se Eu Te Pego” by Michel Telo, watch telanovelas and read “The Alchemist” by Paolo Coelho in original Portuguese.

What is your favorite snack from Brazil? 
Brigadero which is like fudge balls with chocolate sprinkles and chicken Coxinhas.

What languages do you speak? 
English, Portuguese and Spanish.

What food reminds you of home? 
Rice and black beans.

Who is your favorite famous Brazilian? 
Pele. Obviously.

When was the last time you were in Brazil? 
Over spring break.

How excited are you that your home country is hosting the Olympics and the World Cup? 
I’m really excited especially since my uncle is the architect that designed one of the stadiums that one of the World Cup games will be played in.

How do American girls and Brazilian girls stack up? 
Brazilian girls are more carefree and curvy. American girls are self-aware.

What is your favorite rainforest creature and why? 
Jaguar because I love jungle cats.

What are the top Brazilian destinations that you would recommend for our readers? 
The statue of Christ the Redeemer, Ipanema, and a soccer game wherever you can find one!

Name: Shawn Bodtmann
Hometown: Scranton, Pennsylvania
Relationship Status:  Wouldn’t you like to know.
Sign: Sagittarius

Campus Life
Major: Mass Communication
Favorite thing about UMaine: Her Campus
How are you involved on campus:  Football
Favorite place to eat in Orono: Woodmans
Campus posse (name some friends):  Troy “The Beast” Eastman, Justin “Big Daddy” Perillo, John “Eblong” Ebeling

Best place to meet girls at UMaine: Rec Center Jacuzzi
Why did you choose UMaine: I love the weather
Best Professor: Julie Hopwood
Best Class: CMJ 375
Worst Class:  Any math class
How do you like to spend your weekends here:  Doing homework and talking to my mommy

Miscellaneous
What is on your ipod's top rated: Selena Gomez, DMX, Explosions in the Sky
Boxers or Briefs:  Commando
An embarrassing confession:  I sometimes kiss boys cheeks
Guilty Pleasure: Drinking chocolate syrup out the bottle
Ski or Snowboard:  Tube
Salty or Sweet:  Sweet
Cats or Dogs:  Dogs
Dream job:  Chip and Dales Dance Artist
Biggest Pet Peeve:  Gross chewing
Three words to describe yourself: Loving, Huggy, Cheek-Grabby

Favorites
Favorite song to dance to at a party:  cannot dance
Favorite food:  tacos
Favorite Beer:  dos equis 
Favorite App (game or otherwise): ZOMBIES

The Nitty Gritty
Craziest place you've ever had sex: hehehe
How do you let someone know you're interested in them: FB poke
What do you look for in a girl: a heart
Deal-breaker: gross teeth/bad breath
Celebrity Girl Crush: Dakota Fanning
Celebrity Man Crush: Michael Cole

Name:Nicholas Stratigopoulous
Hometown: Montreal, Quebec
Birthday: December 20th, 1989
Year: U3
Major: Physical and Health Education
Relationship Status: In a relationship

Personal Interests: Social networking (Twitter & Facebook), blogging via WordPress, most sports (hockey, soccer, volleyball, badminton, etc.), physical fitness, video games every once in a while, and graphic novels
Favorite Spot on Campus: Currie Gymnasium Cafeteria–TSN on TV!
Favorite Spot in Montreal: Old Montreal–I enjoy the European ambiance
Guilty Pleasure: To be honest, I don’t have that many. The only junk food that I have difficulty resisting is an Aero chocolate bar and there are a couple of TV shows that I currently follow that I’ve kept secret…until now (Vampire Diaries & Ringer)
Celebrity Crush: Olivia Wilde or Eliza Dushku
Dream Job: First and foremost, I hope to establish myself as a physical and health education specialist. Ultimately, I would pounce on the opportunity to work for a higher governing organization in being an advocate for living an active and health lifestyle
What word would use to describe yourself? Humble
What’s on your iPod right now? Linkin Park–Pushing Me Away (Piano Version)
Favorite quote: “We humans fear the beast within the wolf because we do not understand the beast within ourselves”

Name: Ryan Le
Year: 2015
Hometown: San Jose, CA
Major: Economics

What organizations or teams are you a part of here on campus?
I'm on the lax team, the TOBC (tufts asian brother coalition) and an aspiring seeker for the prestigious tufflepuffs.

Alright, alright, lax bro - so what number are you?
47, but obviously you already knew.

What's your dream job?
Owner of Golds Gym.

What is your favorite thing about Tufts?
Ugh, too many things. Sunsets on the library roof, painting the cannon with my boys, the raging party scene, and of course...MOES!!!!!!!!!!

Fave drink?
Grande raspberry white chocolate iced mocha with extra whipped cream from starbuckys.

Single? In a relationship? It's complicated? Which one?
Single and ready to mingle.

Most important quality for a potential girlfriend to have?
Someone who can appreciate me for the person I really am.

Would you rather...

...Wax your legs or not shave your face for a year?
Asians don't get facial hair. so the latter.

...30 lbs of cheese in one sitting or a jar of peanut butter without water?
Peanut butter.

...X-ray vision or read minds?
Read minds, so I can know what the "DONE" ( Landon Davis) is thinking about all day.

...Kiss the girl of your dreams only once or marry your first crush?
Kiss the girl of my dreams, Adele.

Meet campus cutie, Blake Michael Reilly. Not only is he incredibly adorable, but his enthusiastic nature truly matches his warm personality and the big smile always spread across his face. Want to meet Blake for yourself? Head on over to Branford dorm and you'll be sure to find him there. Better catch him quick though because we hear he's quite the fast runner!

Name: Blake Michael Reilly
Hometown: Tewksbury, New Jersey
Year: Class of 2014
Major: ACS Biochemistry
Extracurricular/Sports: Branford Housefellow, President of 1 in 4, Class of 2014 SAC rep, Tour Guide, Cross Country/Track & Field

What is your favorite Harris dessert? 
I love chocolate chip cookies sooooo much! Cookies are the best! (I will accept any cookie donations that people would like to offer; just bring them on over to the Branford Housefellow Suite.)

What is your favorite place on campus? 
Branford of course! Branford is AWESOME this year. I also really like being down by the water. I'm a water loving guy!

If your life was a movie, which celebrity would play you and why? 
Brad Pitt, of course, because of his ridiculously solid abdominal muscles. I'll also throw in Robin Williams because he could imitate my goofiness incredibly well.

What qualities do you value most in a girl? 
I like girls who are individuals and intelligent.

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? 
If I could go anywhere in the world I would probably enjoy a backpacking trip to out west! Also, the Cayman Islands too!

What are you most looking forward to this fall? 
I am really looking forward to the leaves changing on the trees! Also, I love hanging with my boys on the XC team during the fall!

If you were a superhero, which one would you be? 
I would have to pick Flash because running XC would be super easy. Also, I could run on water then!

How do you feel about being voted a campus cutie? 
I was actually quite bashful at first heh. It's fun and thanks to everyone who voted for me!

Name: Benjamin Sher
Hometown: Ottawa, Ontario—the capital city, no big deal or anything
Birthday: September 8th, and I’m definitely a true Virgo
Program: History, with a minor in African Studies
Year: Second year, so I’ll still be around for a bit!

Benjamin Sher speaks for himself. That isn’t to say he isn’t one of the most congenial, kind-hearted people in the Greater McGill Bubble and Area, but rather to say that there is no mistaking his character for anything besides the bona fide. On top of that, he cooks.

Whether he’s whipping up a trademark grill cheese in his plateau kitchen (and this is no Kraft Singles sandwich; think brie, pear, and mango chutney) or spinning his latest creation into literary gold as a food writer for Leacock’s Online Magazine, Ben is not only a skilled epicure, but certainly the most eligible bachelor this side of the green line, though he’d throw a (home baked) pie in my face for saying so.

Five words that describe you: Dependable, friendly, easy-going, excitable, and lucky (after that list, I may have to add cocky in there as well…)
Many people may not know that I: Can chug ridiculously fast
What is the best class you’ve ever taken? History of South Africa
What is your McGill pet peeve? When someone is writing the same research paper as I am and took out all the books before I could get to them
Top three best non-academic things about McGill? Midnight Kitchen, Birks Reading Room, and Sinfully Asian’s Vegetable Thai Basil
And the best part of Montreal? Little Burgundy/Griffintown

What age, time, or moment in history would you most like to time travel back to? 
The history major in me would like not to have to pick just one, but I’ll say the Harlem Renaissance in the 1920s. So many sweet cultural and intellectual currents came out of that time

Where do you most want to travel now and why? 
South Africa, because my parents are from Johannesburg and the last time I went I was two years old!

Describe your perfect first date:
Late Saturday afternoon, sunny, 21ºC. I’m wearing shorts and a sweater. We go for a nice long walk somewhere naturally beautiful. They have a dog, of course, and we bring her with us. We settle down for a sunset picnic with wine, homemade bread, fancy cheese, and great conversation

What are your top three favourite chick flicks? 
Depends on what age category we’re talking about here. Top three teen chick flicks are Mean Girls, Bring It On, and 10 Things I Hate About You. Top three romantic comedies are When Harry Met Sally, Sex and the City (the first one obviously) and The Proposal—Sandra Bullock is a comedy goddess!

Which Sex and the City character are you? Two parts Charlotte, one part Carrie, and one part Samantha

And which Mean Girls character are you? 
Kevin Gnapoor; I’m good at math and I like to think I can rap…

What would someone find if they opened your pantry/fridge? 
Four items I always keep around are fresh vegetables, aged cheddar cheese, Special K Vanilla Almond, and Mrs. Ball’s Original Recipe Chutney

What did you have for breakfast this morning? 
Chocolate chip pancakes from scratch smothered with golden syrup...YUM

If you could rename yourself, what would your name be? 
I always wished that my last name was my mom’s maiden name—Emanuel. Benjamin Emanuel is a way better name than Benjamin Sher (sorry dad!)

What is your spirit animal? 
Is it weird if I say a baby elephant? Like the one from the Jungle Book?

How would you spend a million dollars?
1) Buy a few designer sweaters and a really excellent pair of sunglasses
2) Take a trip around the world and eat at all the best restaurants
3) Save the rest for future use

What is “The Big Dream” in your life? To wake up excited every day
What was the best thing before sliced bread? I always found the very fact that life exists at all pretty mind-blowing. Does that count?

Name: Ryan Marchbank
Class: 2015
Hometown: Ascot, England
Relationship Status: Single

Activities: Kappa Delta Rho fraternity, Tribe Rugby
Hobbies: Tap Dance, Clarinet, Watching “Game of Thrones” and “Boardwalk Empire”
What Do you Like Most about Homecoming: Meeting lots of new people and getting to see my parents.
Superpower: Super intelligence because then I could figure out how to get all of the other superpowers.
Perfect Date: Going for a walk down DoG street for cider, then ending up at the Blue Talon to get to know her better. And then we’d stop by mad about chocolate for dessert.

Name: Christopher Casoli
Major: Chemical Engineering
Nationality: 100% Italian and proud!
Born: Montreal
Hometown: Montreal (West Island)

Describe your program in one word: Complex

Best way to unwind: Going to my cottage after a long week always does the trick. Just chilling by the lake in the sun surrounded by the peace and quiet of nature really helps me unwind from the stresses of school, work, etc.

Study snack of choice: Definitely tarallis (Italian cookies) if I’m at home, but candy as well; I have a huge sweet tooth.

Liquid courage: Vodka always does the trick.

Most embarrassing moment: I was on a family vacation and I somehow managed to knock over a waiter carrying a tray full of drinks. It was a very crowded restaurant and it made quite the commotion... I’m a pretty clumsy person.

Favorite place in the world: Santorini, Greece - hands down. The food, the people, the scenery... everything is amazing; I can’t wait to go back. It is one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever visited (swallowing my Italian pride a bit here).

Top three pet peeves:
1 - People who have full conversations on the bus or train. You’re not in your house; you should respect the people around you and shut up.
2 - Slow walkers! I don’t mind if you’re taking a leisurely stroll, just don’t walk in the middle of the sidewalk and block the path for the rest of us.
3 - Walking into a messy house, room, or whatever it may be. It doesn’t take long to clean up and make your space presentable.

Biggest turn-off: Really bad teeth; the second I notice that in a girl, it’s over.
Biggest turn-on: Long dark hair and nice legs - gets me every time.

If you could date anyone in the world who and why: Adrianna Lima... pretty self-explanatory I think.

Describe the girls at McGill: Smart, sophisticated, and quite a few cuties (for the most part…)

Secret love affair (doesn't have to be a person): I love pasta; it is impossible for me to go an entire week without having a nice bowl of pasta.

Go-to movie and why: Zoolander! Funniest movie ever made, always makes me cry of laughter every time I watch it.

Your mantra: “It is what it is.” You can’t change the past, just need to learn from your mistakes and look forward to the future.

  If you ever find yourself wondering what could possibly be going through a guy’s head, look no further. Our Real Live College Guy Jake will give you the answers to your most burning questions about love, relationships and the stupid things that guys sometimes (okay, a lot of times) do and say. Read on to uncover truths that men have been guarding for centuries (and to find out whether or not he thinks wearing a belt over a T-shirt is stupid).
 
I like this guy whom I have known for about three years now. He goes to school in CT, and I am in RI (we’re both from the greater Los Angeles area). We see each other about twice a year to catch up, hang out and, well, see each other. When we are together, we laugh, smile and have a great time. We usually spend more than a couple of hours together (weekend overnight trips are involved). He is a gentleman: walking on the edge of the sidewalk, paying for the bill (even though I offer to pay or give him half of the money, he finds a way to return it), opening the door for me, letting me sleep on his bed, etc. We usually steal glances at each other and quickly look away once we get caught and giggle and do it all over again. But once we go back to our separate lives, we lose contact. I email him, he replies, and he says something that really reminds me why I like him. I know that he does not have a girlfriend, but I am not sure if he likes me back. How do I figure it out?
- Bewildered at Brown
 

There are several ways to find out if a guy likes you. One way is to ask. Others include hacking his cellphone, applying pressure to his friends and getting the CIA involved. But before you do any of that, try to read the situation. In this case, the best thing to do is follow your instincts. From what you’ve written, it sounds as though you knew the answer to your question before you even asked it and are looking for some reinforcement. But because I haven’t been following the two of you around for the past couple years (or at least I can’t legally acknowledge that I have), I can’t give you that reinforcement. But he can.
 
If your instincts tell you that there is something in his look when the two of you lock eyes, go on that – instincts are never wrong (and if they are, you can’t blame yourself for trying). If he is buying your meals and letting you sleep on his bed (I was going to add walking on the edge of the sidewalk, but then I remembered that you don’t have to have a crush on someone to not want them to get hit by a car), then the chances are he shares your feelings – even though I’m not sure why he has yet to make a direct move. Maybe he’s too shy to make the first move, or maybe he thinks you aren’t into him or aren’t interested in a long-distance relationship. Whatever the reason, one of you is going to have to bite the bullet and make the first move, and it might as well be you (I’m a huge proponent of girls making the first move, but that's for another column). I’m sure you’ll know right away if the chemistry between the two of you is real, and if so, you’ll be heavily rewarded for being the one to test the waters. So the next time you’re both home (hopefully it’s this summer), take advantage of the opportunity to see him and just go for it. And be spontaneous. I can’t stress that enough.  In this situation, any attempt to rationalize or discuss the matter ahead of time could very well put out the flame.
 

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As the attractive collegiette that you are, you’re probably meeting your fair share of swoon-worthy guys. Whether you’re at school, on break, or even in the local Starbucks, you’re definitely turning heads. With all of these exciting prospects at your fingertips, you’re bound to score a few first dates (or maybe just one, if you find someone special!).

While the phrase “first date” can strike fear in the heart of even the most courageous of collegiettes, there’s no need to worry. We’ve broken down nine first date disasters so you know how to avoid them (and how to recover gracefully if the date does take a turn for the worse).

1. Awkward silences

It’s hard to keep up a conversation with a guy you just met. Even if you did know each other before, chances are your nerves are making you more than a little tongue-tied. When did you start stuttering, anyway?

Mike Lindstrom, relationship expert of Ask Dan & Mike and author of Men: 10 Secrets Every Woman Should Know from Two Guys That Do, says that silences are natural.

“These often come from nervousness, one person not truly listening to the other, or [from] a lack of connection on the subject matter,” he says. “[It’s] always best to stick to subjects that have some depth and are more broad."

So ask him to tell you about his family; don’t ask if he’s had a good morning or if he likes Korean food. “Yes” and “no” questions won’t get you very far on the first date, so have a mental list of go-to questions ready before the big moment! Try some of Mike’s suggestions:

• “So, what kind of kid were you growing up?” (e.g., the straight-A student, the jock, the gamer, etc.)
• “What are some of the fun things you’ve done this past year?”
• “Where do you like to visit or travel to? Why?”
• “What are some of your goals for this year?”

2. Spilling something on your date (or yourself)

First dates involve some serious multi-tasking skills. Trying to talk, listen, and not spill your coffee on your shirt is next to impossible for us mere mortals; unfortunately, we often let the jitters get the best of us.

Emily, a senior at Rhode Island School of Design, spilled a drink on herself during a first date while her guy was looking the other way, but she played it off as only an artist could. “I told him it was paint on my shirt because it was already stained with other colors, and I figured if I passed it off as paint then he wouldn’t think I was a klutz... but I am a klutz,” she says.

Luckily, first dates are all about being yourself, so you shouldn’t be afraid of slipping up. Jodi R. R. Smith, etiquette coach and president of Mannersmith Etiquette Counseling, says not to sweat the small stuff.

“Laugh and say, ‘Did I mention my magnetic personality? This is going to make a great first date story!’” she advises. “Then do your best to mop up the mess.”

3. Dressing inappropriately for the occasion

The shoe lovers among us will understand this one: while we never seem to be able to buy enough shoes, we also never seem to be able to wear the right ones at the right time. Case in point: that moment when you show up for a first date in strappy wedges or delicate flats and find yourself walking through a park, around a city, or, well, walking in general. You wore the shoes because they were cute, not because you wanted to drag them through the mud!

In order to brush off any potential awkwardness—you don’t want to come off as too high-maintenance for down-to-earth activities or too low-key to fit in at a fancy restaurant–just explain the mistake. “Acknowledge and correct,” Smith advises. For example, if you’re wearing too little clothing on a date to a football game, Smith suggests saying, “I didn’t realize it was going to be so cold up here in the bleachers. I guess I’m going to have to give in and get a team sweatshirt. Be right back.” If you’re wearing the wrong shoes, there’s probably not much you can do to correct the situation. Just laugh and explain that you wanted to look great on the date—your excitement made you forget about functionality.

Want to avoid the awkwardness (and the coldness) in the first place? Ask him exactly what you’ll be doing on the date! You should always be open to something spontaneous—the real magic happens when you’re having fun together, anyway—but it doesn’t hurt to get a feel for a first date in advance.

4. Running into your ex

If there’s any awkward first date disaster you should try your hardest to avoid, this is it. The very last thing you want to be doing during your date is dwelling on intimate moments with an ex, and if the guy by your side knows about your past relationship, he’ll probably feel pretty uncomfortable being in the middle. (Coming face to face with the competition on the first date? Super stressful for him!)

“We like to employ what we call ‘framing it up’ with the other person,” says Lindstrom. “If you believe you might have a high probability of ever running into an ex, then let your date know, upfront, how you will handle it and stick to the game plan when it does happen. If you frame it up in advance, it will take the awkwardness factor down substantially.” Tell him that you want to be upfront: your ex frequents the same spots as you do, and you don’t try to run into him, but it might happen. Tell your date that you wanted him to know in advance so he wouldn’t feel awkward, but assure him that you’re with him tonight and that’s the bottom line!

No need to panic if you stumble into a chance encounter, though. “If you miss the frame-up opportunity and ‘bump into’ the ex, always be calm and cool and never resort to drama or verbal jousting,” advises Lindstrom. Introduce the two by name, but don’t bother getting into specifics (like how intimately you know each other). Don’t stop for idle chit-chat—keep moving.

5. Running into his ex

If you run into his ex, on the other hand, you don’t really need to do much of anything. Keep your cool, and don’t let the claws come out!

Whether or not he wants to acknowledge the situation is up to him, so the ball is in his court. If he does bring it up, all you have to do is listen and look forward to talking about other things (school, your friends, your dog, what you ate for breakfast... anything is better than talking about a girl he used to tongue tango with!).

If you didn’t know the lovely lady across the room was his ex, and your date tells you so, don’t panic. He isn’t telling you to make you jealous—he’s probably warning you in case she comes over, or explaining why it was awkward if she had already come and said hi. Play it cool! Laugh and say, “Wow, meeting the ex on the first date! Didn’t see that one coming!”

6. Running into your recent (or current) hook-up

So you’re a single lady and you’re playing the field. Impressive! There’s no shame in juggling more than one man; the more arm candy the merrier while you’re still figuring out what you want. But you won’t want your new beau to know that you’ve recently been locking lips with the guy across the café.

“I have bumped into a fairly recent hook-up while walking with a date,” explains Erin*, a senior at Carnegie Mellon. “It can take you by surprise and be incredibly awkward... if you make it that way. I treated the hook-up like any other friend—I gave him a warm greeting and continued walking. I don't think my date suspected a thing, and I was able to keep on good terms with the hook-up!”

Smith says that Erin has the right idea. “Smile, say hi, keep moving,” she recommends. “No need for introductions.” But don’t ignore him completely—cold shoulders don’t mix well with hot hook-ups!

7. You accidentally strike a nerve

Yikes! Whether it’s a sensitive political issue, a comment on his major, a question about his family, or your views on Family Guy, you’re instantly regretting bringing it up. Unfortunately, this happens all of the time during first dates. Since you don’t know much about this new guy, it’s impossible to know what makes him tick… and what ticks him off.

“If it's a blatant party foul, back up and be authentically apologetic for bringing it up,” suggests Lindstrom. “[An] example we heard about is a girl asking about the guy’s mother who had died, unbeknownst to her at the time. The guy started getting kind of upset and clearly she had hit a nerve. He shared the facts with his date and she was extremely apologetic and he could sense her sincere care [and] concern for him.”

Be genuine. As long as you make it clear that you didn’t mean to hit a touchy subject, you can move on–just don’t prolong the moment by dwelling on your apology for too long! To avoid the awkwardness altogether, try not to talk about anything that you yourself might find offensive if the roles were reversed (Hint: Laughing at his taste in music won’t exactly earn you flowers and phone call.).

Touchy subjects like religion, politics, and party habits are risky, but if it’s really important to you that the guy you date shares your opinion on a major issue, don’t be afraid to feel it out; you want to rule out deal-breakers. If you have a strong political conviction, mention it casually and see what happens. If he doesn’t pursue the conversation, don’t push it. If he asks questions and seems genuinely interested, feel free to share your views—just don’t let loose any rants or impassioned tears!

8. You accidentally overshare

Again, it’s important to keep in mind what not to say during your first date. Be yourself… but be careful about what you choose to disclose. While we’re sure he’ll love you for your quirks (who wouldn’t?), you have to give him time to get to know you before you lay it all out.

Topics to avoid: your ex, your hatred of your ex, your tendency to blog about every romantic experience you have, your latest stress overload freak-out, your superior stuffed animal collection, what you imagine your children will look like, and the bowel movements of your pet. If you wouldn’t want to hear it from him early on, he definitely wouldn’t want to hear it from you either.

If you do accidentally let something slip that you shouldn’t have, you can still save the situation. “Stop, shake your head while closing your eyes, [and] take a breath,” says Smith. “Say, ‘I am so sorry, I am so nervous, my mouth is getting ahead of my brain. As you were saying…’” Remember that he’s just as nervous as you are (if not more!), so he’ll understand. If he doesn’t, he isn’t worth a second date.

9. You don’t know how to say goodbye

Beware the Just Friends kiss-hug-body-shake: If you two aren’t on the same page about how to say goodbye, you might end up doing the awkward lean-in/lean-out dance. Should you kiss him on the mouth? On the cheek? Should you kiss him at all? So many choices!

With any luck, you’ll have had a stellar date and it will be clear to both of you that you’re in the mood for some smooching. If the signs aren’t so obvious, approach with caution.

Scenario 1: You want a kiss

You’ll know that he wants to kiss if he’s smiling a lot, walking close to you, touching your hand or arm, and leaning in when he talks to you. If you’re ready to pucker up but aren’t sure if he’s interested, however, keep your body language open. Uncross your arms and linger for a few extra seconds when you’re saying goodbye, giving him the chance to make his move. Don’t make any movements towards him; let him come to you so that you don’t end up aiming for the wrong part of his face.

Scenario 2: You want to escape the canoodling

Not into him? No worries. Keep your body language closed by crossing your arms as you’re saying goodbye, or, as Lindstrom advises, reach for a handshake. Nothing says, “This isn’t going to work out” quite like a cold handshake before a quick exit!

If he’s a total creep and you realize it from the get-go, Lindstrom advises closed body language at the start. “Immediately keep things on a friend level. Don't offer up deep conversation,” he says. “Use closed off body language that sends a message that you are not into him.” Not every date is a winner, but give yourself props for giving the guy a chance!

Whatever you do on your first date, just remember to have fun! With these major rules in mind, you’ll avoid the worst of the first date disasters–and manage to land on your feet if you do face a conundrum over coffee.

So he’s finally asked you out. Now you need to decide what to wear. Hair up or down? You want to look sexy, but still casual. When you get there, do you hug? Kiss him on the cheek? Give him an awkward wave? First dates can be almost as nerve-racking as a job interview.

To lessen the stress load a little bit on your next first date, we’ve surveyed 17 college guys about the ins and outs of a first date (and what they’re thinking along the way). It’s nice to know they’re usually just as nervous as we are.

Here’s what the guys dished about going out with you that very first time.

Where He Wants to Have the Date

Dinner and drinks is always a classic go-to for a first date. Our boys know this – 35 percent of them chose dinner and drinks for their date of choice. Another 30 percent, though, said they’d rather do something fun with you during the day. This might be a bit surprising, but we actually love this idea. It’s a little more causal than a dinner date and it lets you both feel more relaxed and in your element. Keep this in mind when he asks you on the date. Your first instinct might be to just keep evenings free for time with him, but our survey says leave open a weekend afternoon just in case!

What He’s Thinking Before the Date

While some boys are consumed by nervousness before a date, others are simply hoping for the best. Zachary, Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute ’15, said he thinks about all of the things that could possibly go wrong. Andrew, Brewster Academy ’12, said he wonders, “What should I say first?” We wish we could put these poor boys at ease and calm their nerves. Here’s what some of the others had to say about their pre-date butterflies:

• “Don’t mess this up.” Taylor, military.
• “Is she going to like me? Am I going to like her? What if she thinks this choice of date is lame?” Jason, George Washington University ’14.
• “Does this match?” Jim, Syracuse ’12.
• “If this is a blind date, I'm totally scared she'll be annoying or weird or something. But, if I was the one to ask her out, I'm just excited.” Lenny, Stanford University ’13.
• “I’m hoping the conversation goes well, I look okay, and that everything goes according to plan.” Forrest, Syracuse University ’12.
• “Stay calm. Have fun. Make her laugh. Be yourself.” Michael, Roger Williams University ’12.
• “Be on time.” Anonymous, University of California at Berkeley ’12.

After seeing these responses, we know what the guy needs as soon as you get there: reassurance that you’re excited to be on the date with him. Stop his stomach butterflies with a friendly smile, a quick “Great to see you,” and a hug when you arrive on the scene. We bet he’ll relax at least a little.

What He Wants You to Wear

We asked our guys, if they got to choose your outfit for their date, what would they pick? Almost 40 percent of them chose a sundress. Forrest, Syracuse University ’12, said a sundress is perfect because “it’s classy, sexy, and easy.” Take a cue from boys like Forrest and pick out your cutest summer dress. If he’s taking you out during the day, you’ll look adorable. He chose a dinner date instead? Just add a fun pair of wedges. Some of our guys, like Jim, Syracuse University ’12, weren’t as concerned with what you’re wearing so much as with your ability to choose an outfit that’s appropriate for the location or venue. “A girl with that kind of social awareness who I can bring with me to other events is very special,” he said. This means that even though he might like you in shorts and a cute tank, if he’s taking you out on the town, step up your outfit game a little. Perhaps with, say, a sundress...

How Much Info He Wants You to Spill

This is a tough one. The guys were split on two different ends of the spectrum. 40 percent of them want to know the basics about you - topics like where you’re from and what you’re studying at school. These same guys also want to know a little bit about your plans for the future. Even though it might not matter right now, in terms of thinking about the future of the relationship, it still helps them learn about you. Lenny, Stanford University ’13, said, “I don't want too many details, but sometimes when a girl tells you something sort of personal, but not dramatically so, you feel like she is more honest overall. I suppose, no matter what we talk about, I want her to be honest and true to herself.” 30 percent of them said they just want to casually chat with you on date one and save the other information for date number two. Since you’ll probably run into guys from both sides of the chart, we suggest dealing with each date differently. Gauge how much of your personal info to spill based on how much your date does. If he’s chatting about his friends and family from home, this is probably a topic that is meaningful to him. Offer some of your own stories about your relatives or 5th grade pool parties. If he’s telling you his career plans or how he wants to move across country, he’s opened up the door for you to talk about your own future plans. Daniel, Florida State University ’12, says to dish out “however much is natural. It’s not a job interview.” No need to overthink it!

What He’s Thinking During the Date

Forrest, Syracuse University ’12, gave a great response to this question. “If I’m thinking about the conversation too much, it’s not going well. Conversation topics should just flow,” he said. On a good date, this will happen. Sometimes though, especially when you’re both nervous, it can get a little quiet. Just don’t acknowledge the silence, and it should pass.

Here’s what some of the other boys said they worry about mid-date:

• “Let’s see if I can make her laugh...” Jason, George Washington University ’14.
• “I’m thinking of other questions to ask her based on what she is saying.” Jim, Syracuse University ’12.
• “I’m wondering what she thinks of me. Sometimes it’s hard to tell what girls are thinking.” Anonymous, Exeter University.
• “What else should I talk to her about?” Andrew, Brewster Academy ’12.
• “Don’t mess up.” Taylor, military.
• “I hope she’s having fun.” Zachary, Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute’15.
• “Is complimenting her too much a turn-off?” Michael, Roger Williams University ’12.
• “Listening. Trying to think of something funny.” Ryan, Syracuse University ’12. 

What He Thinks of What You Order

We want to take this crop of boys out on a date. 80 percent of them said you won’t lose points based on what you order for dinner. Jim, Syracuse University 12, said he doesn’t care what you pick, “but it takes guts to order spaghetti on a first date and slurp through it!” He’s got a point. An anonymous guy from Ohio University says, “Just don’t order a burger bigger than mine – I’ll feel less manly.” The other 20 percent of guys? They’re not fans of picky eaters. If you’re thinking of ordering the taco salad, but without the tortilla chips, no tomatoes please and turkey instead of ground beef, and dressing on the side... just pick something else.

Who Should Pay

We repeat: we want to take this crop of boys out on a date. 90 percent of them said they’ve got the check covered.
Forrest, Syracuse University ’12, said, “Just let me pay – it’s my treat for getting to spend time with you.” As you wish, Forrest. Even though they plan on paying, 35 percent of these guys want you to at least offer. Usually you don’t even have to say anything, just reach for your wallet or purse, and he should tell you it’s on him. Lenny, Stanford University ’13, said, “I usually pay for the meal, but it’s nice if she offers to pay the tip.” It’s a good way to show you enjoyed spending time with him as well.

If He Expects a Kiss

The answers for this one varied, but usually, if you give him a kiss (of any proportion) at the end, it means you’ve enjoyed the date. Jason, George Washington University ’14, said he doesn’t need anything wild, “just a peck to know she’s into me.” Lenny, Stanford University ’13, said that in order to make it to a second date, a kiss is required. “A little one, nothing big, but something.” For him, a kiss determines if you’re game for going out again or just headed for the friend list. Take your pick, ladies.

What He’s Thinking at the End of the Date

These boys definitely know how to end a date the right way. If the date went well, most of these guys hint at planning date number two – vital if both want to see each other again. Brian, Clemson University ’14, says he won’t necessarily plan date number two right away, but he “definitely makes hints” about it. Our anonymous Exeter University boy says he’ll lightly mention meeting up again. Jim, Syracuse University ’12, says he’ll try saying, “This was fun. We should do this again sometime,” and then see how she responds. Forrest, Syracuse University ’12, says, “At the goodbye, a simple mention of date two will let her know where I stand.”

By the answers of these boys, it’s clear that at the end of the date, he’s probably doing a bit of mind and body language reading in an attempt to gauge how much you’re into him without putting all his feelings on the line. You’re probably being careful with your own reactions – trying not to blurt out, “You’re so adorable, can we can hang out tomorrow?!” before you know he even wants a second date. The best thing to do at this point in the date game is to decide where you stand. If he mentions hanging out again or a date number two, you know he’s (even just a little) into you.

On any first date, we’re usually too excited – or nervous – to stay relaxed and let the conversation flow. Keep in mind, though, that the whole point of the first date is to get to know each other, have fun, and find out if you’re interested in hanging out with each other again. On top of this, there has to be mutual interest. The only way to find out if you mesh well together is by staying true to yourself and trying to relax and enjoy the date. If he does the same, you’ll both have a better idea of if you want to take a chance on date number two.

Admit it; your last boyfriend was a loser.  He never returned your calls, broke off dates, and flirted with everything that had a pair of you-know-whats, but you were in love.  Every time he coughed up the $3.95 to take you on an ice cream date, you melted faster than your chocolate chip mint cone. Cue gag.  How could you have been so wrong? You were a sucker, like millions of women across the globe.

The perfect guy is hard to find, but the wrong ones seem to be in total abundance.  Camouflaged with flattery and a spot-on sense of style, he might seem like the one, but he’s not, and you might not know until it’s too late.  To save you the post-break-up cocktails and raw cookie dough, Her Campus is here with our No-Fly List. Beware of these five guys. They are wolves in sheep’s clothing (or a perfectly tailored J. Crew sweater).  Proceed with caution. 

The Romantic Player

Red roses, jewelry, sweet-talking, and romantic dinner dates at the chicest restaurants—this is how the Romantic Player sucks you in. Before you sign your love life away on the dotted Facebook relationship status line, consider this—doesn’t it seem too good to be true? After a few dates, you’re probably feeling like the luckiest girl in the world, but so are three other girls you didn’t know about.

“This happened twice with two different boys,” says Amy*, a music student. “Three girls involved, including me. We were all in love with him, and even though I might have been his current girlfriend, he was sort of in relationships with each one of us.”

It’s easy to get played, and even if you see the warning signs, it might be hard to kick your man to the curb.

“You should check [out] his ex-girlfriends who [he’s] still close to.  Check if it's just pure friendship after all, but sometimes you can't get out of it even though you know what you got yourself into,” she says.

The Romantic Player fulfills your deep-rooted relationship ideals to gain your complete trust.  The minute you feel like a Disney princess, you’re done for.  Jillian*, a 20-year-old writing student, discovered this the hard way when she took a trip to New Jersey with her first long-term boyfriend.  She became suspicious when a slew of her texts were ignored while her boyfriend was en route with their best friend Sara. Still, only after their relationship ended did she put two and two together.

“Sara drove all the way to Vermont [from New Jersey] just to pick him up, and I thought that was so weird. That night, we were all drunk, and he and Sara go in the bathroom for a good fifteen minutes.  I thought it was weird at the time, but again, I didn’t think anything of it. Then, Sara came out, and he gave me the dreaded ‘we need to talk line,’” says Jillian. “I’m definitely sure Sara was in there convincing him to dump me so she could be with him.  I found out a week later that the last week we were at school, he hooked up with her. I logged onto his Facebook because I knew the password, and he had love notes saved from her.  When I found them I was so upset."

While it’s best to avoid these kinds of men, not all romantic guys have something to hide.  But if your sweet-talking Prince Charming only hangs out with you during weird hours, receives mysterious texts he won’t talk about, or is frequently ignoring your calls until hours later, it might be time to send him packing.

The Star

Dating the captain of the football team or the lead singer of campus’s hottest band definitely gives you the cool factor, but is it worth it? These stars of their respective fields are just that—stars. Everyone wants them, and everyone wants to be them, but you can’t achieve campus celebrity status without a lot of social networking (or hard-partying and hooking up).

Mr. Popular is under a lot of pressure; he has to perform, be seen with the right people, and he likely has a fan club of sexy (and much thinner than you) co-eds who admire his “talent.” He’s always the center of attention, which leaves you standing on the sidelines or sitting alone in the back of the club. He’s also short on time and frequently traveling without you. If he can fit you in between away games, training camps, or month long tours, consider yourself lucky.

“It’s a constant battle for attention because you never come first,” says Meagan*, a 21-year-old student who dated a Championship Boxer. “The boys on the team always come first. If they go to a party, they don’t want you tagging along.”

It’s no secret that your leading man will spend most of his time with his guy-pals playing wingman, the bachelor, or the party guy— especially if he’s in a different city every night. Whether it’s in the back of the tour bus or the men’s locker room, these guys always kiss and tell.

“What the boys do is always a secret,” says Meagan. “If they are in the locker room, they definitely are not talking about girls' personalities, but he’ll never tell you what they are talking about. Your love life is constantly on display, but you never know what he’s up to.”

Remember, what happens on tour stays on tour, and after parties are unfortunately exactly like they seem on TV—out of control. He’ll never tell, and you’ll always be wondering what happened.

The Arrogant Renaissance Man

There's nothing sexier than intelligence, which is why falling for the Arrogant Renaissance Man is so easy. Frequently disguised as an artist, writer, or political activist, he will dazzle you with his knowledge of sixteenth century poetry and a degree that will be finished by the time you're six years into the workforce. When you two are snuggling up to an art house flick and sipping on vegan milkshakes, don't be shocked if he starts to reminisce about his old days in PETA. Did you know he saved a lot of animals there? If you didn't, he will tell you all about it. He also probably didn't tell you this, but you've most likely figured it out on your own—he will always be better than you.

Kara*, a writing student, quickly discovered her blind date was a dud when he invited her back to his place to smoke flavored tobacco and listen to bands she hadn't heard of—clearly a ploy to lure her into the bedroom.

“I was only interested in this person because, quite frankly, he seemed a lot like me: monogamous, cultured, artsy and creative. But what I really got was someone who was incredibly pretentious, not at all humble, and a complete snob,” she says. “All that pretentious sweet talking was a haphazard attempt at getting in my pants. I don't believe you're going to find a soul mate in someone who needs to brag about how much they know about Orwellian thought or Early Renaissance Literature.”

Your guy might be smart, but smart guys don’t need to constantly brag.  If you can’t get a word in during your dinner date because he’s too busy talking about his spot on the Dean’s List, it’s time to show him the door.

The Party Animal

If you needed a partner to supplement your fear of becoming a boring couple, look no further because you've found the Party Animal. He's attractive, likes to have fun, and has a ton of friends. That's good, right? Even though most of his time is spent reliving some twisted version of The Hangover II, that doesn't mean you can't join in. If that sounds like your cup of tea, invest in some Altoids because kisses that smell like last night's Coors Light get old really fast.

Sara*, a literature student, dated a party animal and found herself wrapped up in a life of drinking, drugs, and extreme frustration.

“He would never do anything ever but drink beers and get way too stoned for words,” she says. “For some reason he refused to drive, so I would have to drive him around to his house and the liquor store!”

This breed of man is also notoriously irresponsible. Sleeping through class, blowing his paycheck on beer, and never being able to remember if he used a condom this time—it's all in a day’s work for this night owl. Why keep track of someone who has trouble keeping track of himself?

“Don't date [this kind of boy],” says Sara. “You'll be bored out of your mind and too hung over from drinking to make him seem interesting.”

The Career Man

With a strong drive, dashing looks, and financial security, the Career Man is the kind of guy you take home to your mother—if he has time, that is. He will do anything to advance his position, which means working late hours, waking up extra early, and breaking off plans with you. This doesn't mean the Career Man will forever be undateable; one day he will be an extremely successful (and hopefully still attractive) business man who's ready to settle down. You just have to wait until he's ready, but right now he's married to his Blackberry and doesn't have time for an affair.

“I dated a guy who had a super successful finance career. He was the youngest person in his position at the company and had really worked his way up, which I found really attractive,” says Emily*, a journalism student. “Unfortunately, it turned out that he really had no time for me outside of work...not to mention all the times he had to travel for work, and that he had to go into the office on weekends too.”

Climbing the ladder of corporate America is no easy feat, so don't be surprised if he doesn't want the extra baggage.

“I thought dating a driven guy with a really successful high-powered career would be great,” she says, “but it turned out he was a little too driven to the point where there was never time for me.”

Finding a great boyfriend (or a great hook-up) takes a lot of work, and the right guy sometimes isn’t right. Don’t be too discouraged because love (or rock-hard abs and puppy-dog eyes) is more than blinding.  If everyone found their perfect man the first time around, we’d be married to the first boys we ever kissed beneath the middle school bleachers.  Rest assured that the perfect man is out there somewhere, whether it’s in the great abyss of match.com or depths of the dining hall.  You just haven’t met him yet.

Sources:
College women from all over the country

Sure, we feel creepy now, but we were in love with these Disney boys as kids! In fact, our on-screen crushes back then were probably way easier to deal with than our boy situations now. Either way, these young stars were the unforgettable few who made old school Disney movies and TV shows rock!

1. Cody from The Thirteenth Year (played by Chez Starbuck)

Cody was the beginning of our weakness for swimmers (before we discovered Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte). But this Disney protagonist had a small unfair advantage—near his 13th birthday, Cody realized he was a merman after he started sprouting fins and scales! We weren’t sure how to feel after our crush turned half-fish, but his baby face looked adorable on any species.

2.  Nick from The Jersey (played by Michael Galeota)

And no, we don't mean Jersey Shore. The Jersey was a TV series about a magic jersey that let Nick and his Monday Night Football friends switch places with their favorite professional athletes. We admit it: our crush on Nick was a mix of our obsession with jocks and celebrities, but who can blame us? He probably had the coolest stories to tell in the locker room!

3.  Andy from Brink! (played by Erik von Detten)

Andy, a.k.a "Brink," was our ultimate skater boy crush. He had the hair, the chill attitude, and an admirable loyalty to his skater friends (because it was socially acceptable to say “skater friends” in the '90s). Even as kids, we were suckers for athletes—plus, Detten looked like he had a lot of street cred in elbow pads and kneepads.  The blonde cutie was also quick on his feet in more ways than one, dishing this insult to his competition: 

Brink: Yeah, I wanna win, but no matter what, win or lose, at the end of the day... I'm not you... so it's still a good day.

4. Ben from Smart House (played by Ryan Merriman)

We thought this boy was the “It” kid for hosting a party in his high-tech “smart house” without his dad’s permission. Ben and his boys even kicked off his house party with a choreographed dance to the song “Slam Dunk (Da Funk)” by 5ive (if you can’t remember that catchy song, then you did the '90s wrong).

We also love Ben for his adorkable attempt at picking up girls:

Ben: Hey, Pat [smart house], how about whipping up some pizza?

Girl at party: Actually, can she make dessert? I’m completely craving something sweet!

Ben: Besides me?

*laughter*

Ben: It’s just a joke, ha.

5.  Adam from Mom’s Got a Date with a Vampire (played by Matt O’Leary)

Forget Robert Pattinson! Adam was the original heartthrob of supernatural movies. After he accidently set his mom up with a vampire in disguise, he and his siblings had to use their wits to end the date before Dimitri (what a typical vampire name!) lured her into his lair. Adam's devotion to protecting his mom is a trait we still find attractive in guys now, so kudos to figuring it out as a young boy!

6.  Jett from The Famous Jett Jackson (played by Lee Thompson Young)

He played an action TV star named Silverstone, but claimed to be a regular kid just like us (because regular people got to hang out with Beyoncé). This young star was the definition of swag before it was even called swag. Despite his superstar status, he still had his feet on the ground, remaining close with his old friends and relocating work to his hometown to be closer with family.

And in case you were wondering how this one turned out...

"Fine" is an understatement.

Who was your childhood crush from the Disney Channel Original Movies? Tell us in the comments below!

Where do you draw the line between healthy jealousy and let’s say… Spencer Pratt? A little jealousy never hurt anyone, but when guys let that green monster get the best of them, relationships can suffer. You’ve heard countless tips on how to make him jealous, but what if you want to do just the opposite? If you’re in a situation where you’re dealing with a partner who is super jealous, check out what our surveyed guys have to say about the situation and how the experts can help you deal.

In her book Secrets of Happy Couples, Kim Olver – coach, speaker, author and love expert – calls jealousy the relationship killer. “Jealousy will eat at the foundation of a relationship until there is no love left.” So what can you do if you’re dealing with a guy that’s a little overly green? Olver suggests understanding the roots of jealousy to help you identify the problem, but also recognizing that it’s not yours to “fix.” With a little insight into the mind of the man and some expert advice, Her Campus has put together some advice that will lead you in the direction of a healthier relationship.

He’s Insecure

Olver identifies insecurity as one of the roots of jealousy. If your guy is constantly putting you on a pedestal and bringing himself down, he may be suffering from low self-esteem. According to Dan Lier of Ask Dan and Mike, a relationship expert duo featured on NBC, CNN and Inside Edition, “the lower your man’s self esteem, the more jealousy he experiences. Don’t let looks and achievement fool you into thinking he has high self-esteem. Some of the most attractive men are the most jealous, as they lead the way in regards to insecurities.” He might think you’re too good for him, having thoughts like, “Why would she ever date someone like me?” or “I bet all the guys at the bar are all over her.” While these may sound like great compliments to you, there may be an underlying issue in what he is saying. Andrew, a student at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign says, “I get jealous when she’s out and doesn’t respond to my texts all night. It makes me think that whatever she’s doing is more fun than talking to me and it makes me wonder why we’re dating if she’s not thinking about me when we’re not together.”

One of the best ways to deal with an insecure boyfriend is to build him up… he may just need some reassurance that you’ve only got eyes for him. Lier believes that communication is the key to overcoming his insecurity. He suggests asking your guy, “What has to happen for you to know that I am with you, and loyal to you?” According to Ask Dan and Mike, the more healthy conversations you have together, the more trust you and your partner will build and the more connected you will become. A text here and there or a phone call at the end of the night lets him know you’re having fun but thinking about him, and that should ease his mind. Just remember, you shouldn’t be glued to your phone when you’re out, constantly updating him with your every move; it’s important to remain independent while also respecting his feelings. If his nagging is obsessive and he constantly needs to know what you’re doing, you need to reevaluate the relationship; these are signs that it could be an unhealthy one.

You Play Games

We’re all guilty of a little game-playing sometimes. The whole upper hand/lower hand dynamic in the relationship can get us a little crazy. You’re craving attention and you know exactly how to get a rise out of him, but that might be your problem. Carole Lieberman, media psychiatrist and best selling author of Bad Girls, Why Men Love Them and How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets, believes that a little touch of jealousy isn’t bad; “it keeps your guy on his toes.” Lieberman identifies the problem as women provoking men into becoming jealous. Girls see jealousy as an easy read that a guy is still interested in them, so they’ll do whatever they know will make their own man envious. Playing games like flirting with other boys in his presence, ignoring his calls and texts and toying with his emotions is dangerous because guys may take it too seriously and their jealousy could escalate. Keep your games in moderation; nobody wants their emotions and feelings disrespected. He won’t know when you’re being authentic and when you’re looking for a rise if you’re not truthful in your actions. Take it from Franic, a student at Loyola University of New Orleans. “I hate when she flirts with other guys or gives other guys more attention than me,” he says. ‘If she’s doing that when I’m around, what is she doing when I’m not there?” Don’t give off the impression that you want someone else when all you really want is the guy you already have; your game-playing could backfire, so keep things honest.

He Was Cheated On

Another root of jealousy, according to Olver, is past experience. It’s not just your past that can make your guy jealous, but maybe something in his past as well. If he was with someone who was unfaithful, you should ask yourself if you’re okay with putting up with his insecurities. Eric from the University of Iowa says, “I don’t think I’m a jealous person, but my last girlfriend cheated on me, so sometimes the girl I’m with feels like I bring the weight of that into our relationship.”

He may be unusually inquisitive about your plans or need extra reassurance of your feelings for him. Olver suggests giving him a realistic time frame to show improvement if you believe the past cheating incident was recent. She says if he doesn’t show improvement, you may have to consider accepting his ways, or leaving.

You Lost His Trust

In her book, The Secrets of Happy Couples, Olver also talks about how to rebuild trust in a relationship if you’re the one that cheated. She writes, “You have some work to do. You must open yourself up for him to trust you again. You must end contact with the other person and allow your partner access to every area of your life until he can begin to trust you again. If you cannot rebuild the trust, you need to accept how your relationship has changed, or leave. If you lost his trust somewhere down the road, chances are his jealousy is just a defensive instinct.

He Feels Threatened

If your boyfriend feels threatened in your relationship, he may get extra jealous when other guys are in the picture. When you tell stories about your guy friends or talk about how funny his pals are, chances are he may get a little jealous. Richard from the University of Wisconsin-Madison gets jealous “when she lets other guys buy her drinks at the bar, because [he wants to] be the one to do that.” This is a perfectly normal response to your behavior. Be sure he understands your feelings for him. Lieberman believes that when your boyfriend interrogates you about a certain guy, it’s your job to prove that you are just friends. She believes that if he starts making this a habit, however, then you should start looking for other signs that he is too controlling… and to start thinking of making your exit before his jealousy escalates into abuse.

He Doesn’t Want Things To Change

Many guys get controlling when they feel the situation is slipping out of their hands. Olver believes he may be using jealousy as his best attempt to keep you connected to him out of guilt or obligation. If he feels you pulling away, trying to force you to act the way he wants you to act is his last attempt to keep things the way they once were. Mac from the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign recalls a recent break-up that taught him a lesson in relationships. “My ex-girlfriend and I broke up last year because she wanted to start seeing other people. Looking back, my attempt to keep her from breaking up with me was pretty pathetic. I used to get really mad when she would bail on plans, but I should have seen that she just wasn’t interested anymore.” If he wants a forever relationship and you feel differently, Olver suggests the kindest thing to do is to end your relationship and allow him to find someone who will love him the way you used to or in the way that he desires.

If you can identify what it is that is making your guy so jealous, hopefully you two can work it out. If you think his jealousy is more than a little unhealthy, seriously consider getting out of the relationship before things escalate. If you’re unsure if his jealous behavior is considered abuse, the National Domestic Violence Hotline compiled a list of questions to ask yourself:

Does your partner:

• Embarrass you with put-downs?
• Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
• Control what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go?
• Stop you from seeing your friends or family members?
• Take your money or Social Security check, make you ask for money or refuse to give you money?
• Make all of the decisions?
• Prevent you from working or attending school?
• Act like the abuse is no big deal, it’s your fault, or even deny doing it?
• Shove you, slap you, choke you, or hit you?
• Threaten to commit suicide?

VIsit here for more information on abuse. 

Jealousy ranges from pesky and annoying to life-threatening. If you think you’re in an abusive relationship don’t hesitate before calling 1.800.799.SAFE.

If you find yourself encountering garden-variety jealousy, use these tips to salvage the situation. Remember to keep open communication with your guy so you can recognize when your own behavior is inspiring jealousy. Decide to what degree you’re willing to alter your behavior to prevent or lessen his jealousy so there is no confusion on either side. Jealousy will always be a part of your life, but it doesn’t have to control your relationship (and it shouldn’t!). In the words of Dan Lier, co-author of 10 Secrets Every Woman Should Know from Two Guys That Do, “there are a lot of good guys out there who don't have jealousy issues... so if he doesn’t accept that he has a problem or isn’t willing to fix it, save yourself the drama and cut him loose.”

Broke from calling late night love lines for advice? Looking for the lowdown on the hoedown when it comes to college guys? Real Live College Guy Sean is here to help you pick apart the mind of the average college guy. Whether it’s avoiding that awkward weekend hook-up or full-on relationship advice, Sean is here to save the day!

So here I am, more inexperienced in relationships than an 11th century maid (i.e. no dating, no kissing, no grinding, no... nothing), knowing full well that I probably put myself in this position. While girls in this position tend to be extremely shy or unapproachable due to a serious lack of hygiene, I think of myself as engaging and I usually get more than my share of takers. Various types of guys have approached me, but why do I feel like each one is stranger and stranger than the next? I feel like I'm not expecting Chris Hemsworth to see me across the room and instantly sweep me off my feet, but neither do I expect the guy to be 5 feet 2 inches, weird as hell, and smell abominable. Is my mentality wrong? Is it strange that I want to hold out for someone amazing even if my parents are hounding me and my friends think any guy is okay? What should I do? It's like I'm playing 20 questions with my life. Basically, I've been guy-abstinent and okay with it for too long. I think things need to seriously change. – Stranger than Strange at Stony Brook

Stranger than Strange,

First things first, let me stand and applaud you for being so open-minded about what you’re looking for. I wish more people were like you.

I’m glad you realize that you may have put yourself in a difficult position here. Your mentality about the guys who approach you isn’t far off, really. Yes, there are tons of creepy dudes out there, and the creepiest ones do seem to flock to normal women like it’s their job. Unfortunately, this is one of the pitfalls about dating in college: Too many guys are afraid to approach a woman in class, and as a result, will only do so when they’ve had a few glasses of liquid courage. There aren’t many guys who will approach a woman while stone cold sober and ask for her number. Rejection sucks, so if we’re inebriated and there is a slight chance that we won’t remember getting shut down, we’re more likely to approach you at a party or a bar.

That being said, some guys may be genuinely good guys, but simply don’t know how to approach a woman. That’s why some of us come off as creepy. It goes without saying that there are dudes who are actually creepy, but it’s fairly easy to weed them out within a few minutes of conversation. For example, if he openly objectifies you as a sex object in front of your friends, that’s a pretty good indication that probably not your Chris Hemsworth (believe me, I’ve seen it). On the other hand, if a guy approaches, looks normal, but says something cheesy or starts dancing with you randomly, he may just be shy or unsure of how to approach you.

I’m also not immune to being this awkward. In fact, I think there were a few times when I thought talking about classes would be a good icebreaker. Spoiler alert: it’s not.

Your friends and family are just like everyone’s friends and family. They’re simply looking out for you or are trying to help. However, I do feel like you need to lighten up a bit. It may feel wrong and against every one of your principles, but just dance with some guys. Some of us, including yours truly, prefer dorky dancing, or prefer quiet environments to super loud and sweaty bar dance floors. So when we’re in a loud place, it’s hard to not look creepy. Furthermore, by opening up, you can figure out for real what you’re really looking for in a guy through trial and error. Even if you meet someone and it goes absolutely nowhere, you’re still better for the experience. Just steer clear of the college-aged Romeos who literally doused themselves in the latest Axe fragrance (and by fragrance, I mean Mace).

Overall, having a clue of what you’re looking for is a good idea. But there aren’t many guys who will willingly approach an “11th century maid.” More guys are willing to approach someone who appears open to conversation than the “good girl” who refuses to break the female circle of friends at the party. It’s good to have morals, but just try relaxing them a bit!

Sure, we feel creepy now, but we were in love with these Disney boys as kids! In fact, our on-screen crushes back then were probably way easier to deal with than our boy situations now. Either way, these young stars were the unforgettable few who made old school Disney movies and TV shows rock!

1. Cody from The Thirteenth Year (played by Chez Starbuck)

Cody was the beginning of our weakness for swimmers (before we discovered Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte). But this Disney protagonist had a small unfair advantage—near his 13th birthday, Cody realized he was a merman after he started sprouting fins and scales! We weren’t sure how to feel after our crush turned half-fish, but his baby face looked adorable on any species.

2.  Nick from The Jersey (played by Michael Galeota)

And no, we don't mean Jersey Shore. The Jersey was a TV series about a magic jersey that let Nick and his Monday Night Football friends switch places with their favorite professional athletes. We admit it: our crush on Nick was a mix of our obsession with jocks and celebrities, but who can blame us? He probably had the coolest stories to tell in the locker room!

3.  Andy from Brink! (played by Erik von Detten)

Andy, a.k.a "Brink," was our ultimate skater boy crush. He had the hair, the chill attitude, and an admirable loyalty to his skater friends (because it was socially acceptable to say “skater friends” in the '90s). Even as kids, we were suckers for athletes—plus, Detten looked like he had a lot of street cred in elbow pads and kneepads.  The blonde cutie was also quick on his feet in more ways than one, dishing this insult to his competition: 

Brink: Yeah, I wanna win, but no matter what, win or lose, at the end of the day... I'm not you... so it's still a good day.

4. Ben from Smart House (played by Ryan Merriman)

We thought this boy was the “It” kid for hosting a party in his high-tech “smart house” without his dad’s permission. Ben and his boys even kicked off his house party with a choreographed dance to the song “Slam Dunk (Da Funk)” by 5ive (if you can’t remember that catchy song, then you did the '90s wrong).

We also love Ben for his adorkable attempt at picking up girls:

Ben: Hey, Pat [smart house], how about whipping up some pizza?

Girl at party: Actually, can she make dessert? I’m completely craving something sweet!

Ben: Besides me?

*laughter*

Ben: It’s just a joke, ha.

5.  Adam from Mom’s Got a Date with a Vampire (played by Matt O’Leary)

Forget Robert Pattinson! Adam was the original heartthrob of supernatural movies. After he accidently set his mom up with a vampire in disguise, he and his siblings had to use their wits to end the date before Dimitri (what a typical vampire name!) lured her into his lair. Adam's devotion to protecting his mom is a trait we still find attractive in guys now, so kudos to figuring it out as a young boy!

6.  Jett from The Famous Jett Jackson (played by Lee Thompson Young)

He played an action TV star named Silverstone, but claimed to be a regular kid just like us (because regular people got to hang out with Beyoncé). This young star was the definition of swag before it was even called swag. Despite his superstar status, he still had his feet on the ground, remaining close with his old friends and relocating work to his hometown to be closer with family.

And in case you were wondering how this one turned out...

"Fine" is an understatement.

Who was your childhood crush from the Disney Channel Original Movies? Tell us in the comments below!

Since the day SMS was born, women everywhere have spent countless hours poring over their cell phones with girlfriends, attempting to decode, analyze, and just plain figure out a response to all the vague and flat-out confusing text messages they’ve received from men. Websites such as HeTexted.com have even been devoted to the art. No matter how many texts you’ve worked your way through, there will always be those messages that make you pause and exclaim, “What does he even mean by that?!”

Luckily for you, we recruited those who know best to weigh in on the issue. With the help of some awesome relationship experts, Her Campus is here to decode some of the most common types of confusing text messages!

1. The Noncommittal Text

“I might be going.”
“I haven’t decided yet.”
“I’ll let you know.”

Is he simply indecisive, or does he have you on the back burner?

What it means: When a guy is evasive about what he’s doing later on, it usually isn’t because he has so many plans and just can’t decide—it’s you he can’t make his mind up about. According to Patrick Wanis, a human behavior and relationship expert, “often when someone hasn’t made up their mind, it doesn’t necessary mean that they’re noncommittal; it really could imply something worse, such as, ‘I’m waiting for the bigger, better offer.’”

Carole Lieberman, M.D., psychiatrist and author of Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets, agrees. “What he really means is that he’s hoping for a better opportunity to come up,” she says. “If he doesn’t find another girl to do something with (who he likes better), he’ll settle for you.”

How to respond: Attempt to make the non-committer commit. Say, “Let me know when you figure it out!” or even ask, “What else do you have going on tonight?” Assertive, yes, but it’s the best way to coax a direct answer from the evasive texter. And if he still doesn’t give you a specific answer, don’t waste your time on him.

2. The Rain Check Text

“Sorry, can’t tonight.”
“Too much work to do.”
“Maybe next week?”

How much work could he possibly have? And if he were sincerely interested in you, would he really let it get in the way of seeing you?

What it means: He really could have too much work to do, or he really could be out of town visiting his grandparents, or he really might be way too tired after work to see a movie. “But, on the other hand, he's being particularly vague about making future plans, so he's not all that enthusiastic about seeing you,” Lieberman points out.

If we’ve learned anything about men, it’s that when a guy wants to see you, he will go well out of his way to ensure that it happens. So while not all hope is lost when a guy can’t keep a date, this type of message should make you wary. 

How to respond: According to Wanis, “The best way to respond to this is to say, ‘Okay, I’m available Wednesday or Thursday, which day [works for you]?’ What you’re doing is responding in a masculine manner by being direct and clear, and you’re now giving him an option.” If you’re guy is interested, he’ll willingly agree to make alternative plans and, this time, he’ll (hopefully) keep them.

3. The Flake-Out Text

“Sorry I missed your text!”

You texted. He didn’t reply. But now he’s apologizing for it. Is it sincere, or was his oversight intentional?

What it means: With all the emails and texts and tweets and wall posts we’re flooded with on a daily basis, there is a chance your text escaped his notice. But if seeing your name on his phone doesn’t immediately grab is attention, chances are he doesn’t regard you as a top priority.

The fact that he acknowledged his lack of response shows that he does have some courtesy, but only enough to respond when it’s convenient for him. It’s more likely that, instead of truly missing your text, your guy was evading a conversation he didn’t feel like having at the time–or didn’t want to have altogether—and claimed to have “missed” your text as a handy excuse.

How to respond: Play it cool. If he can’t make your conversation a priority, then make sure he knows that he’s not a priority of yours: “Oh, don’t worry about it. I forgot I even texted you!” Your flippancy might just make your guy step up his game (and pay better attention to his phone!).

4. The One-Worded Text

“Cool.”
“Good.”
“K”

What does it mean when a guy has suddenly morphed into an inarticulate caveman?

What it means: Wanis says there are three reasons a guy might send this type of message: “One, the guy is sincerely busy. Two, he’s stressed out. Three, he doesn’t really care that much.” While Lieberman points out that there are occasions when one word will suffice, especially if your guy is in the middle of something else, “it could [also] mean that he just doesn't think you're worth the effort of texting more.”

Just like with the rain check text message, your guy could be otherwise occupied. But if he were really into you, you’d probably be able to get a little more out of him than “sweet” when you tell him about your day, even if he’s in the middle of a Game of Thrones marathon.

How to respond: Instead of trying to pull teeth to get your guy to talk, the best way to deal with this message is to take the hint. Wrap up the convo and try him again later when he’s a little less distracted and, with any luck, a little more talkative.  

5. The Overly Complimentary Text

“You were definitely the most beautiful girl at the bar tonight.”
“You look unbelievably sexy when you’re working out.”
“That dress makes you look just like Beyoncé––but hotter.”

Beautiful, sexy, hotter than Beyoncé… how could this guy not be infatuated with you? Unless it’s all a bunch of BS from a practiced player. But how can you tell the difference?

What it means: Whether sincere or not, two things are certain: this guy is very confident, and he’s very interested in you—it’s just a question of whether he’s interested in a relationship with you, or just a quick hook-up. “He could be really hot for you and not afraid to tell you,” says Lieberman. “Or he could just be trying to get you to go to bed with him as quickly as possible, and hopes that flattery will make you believe that he wants a relationship with you, not just a hook-up.”

Wanis says the most important things to consider with every text message are the context and your existing relationship with the sender. “If you’re already friends, he might be trying to take the friendship to another level,” he says. If you’ve just met this guy, however, Wanis says that he might be trying to get to know you better, “or he could just be a great player who knows how to compliment a woman so he can win her over.” Tread with caution, collegiettes; this guy may know the right things to say, but he may not have the best intentions.

How to respond: Don’t let his flattery blind you. Respond with playful quip, so your guy knows he can’t take you for a ride: “Oh, stop, I’m blushing,” or, “Oh yeah, nothing sexier than a girl sweating her face off on a treadmill.” Put that guy in his place and he’ll know in the future not to set off your BS detector.

6. The Delayed Text

You: [2:14 p.m.] “Hey, what are you up to?”

…

Him: [8:27 p.m.] “nm, just watching the game.”

You asked him how his week is going and he says that it’s going really well, thanks... five hours later. What’s with the time delay?

What it means: He could be busy, he could be distracted, he could be at work or in class or driving or on an airplane or on the moon. But more often than not, your guy is playing games. Taking his sweet time to respond to you is your guy’s way of telling you that he has better things to do and that holding his end of the conversation is not his greatest concern.

If your guy is really interested in you, he won’t leave you hanging in the middle of a convo without an excuse. However, if you initiate the conversation and his first reply is delayed, your guy might actually have been busy (and will hopefully also offer an explanation!)  

How to respond: It’s tempting to prompt a guy with a “Hello?” or “Are you there?” or the ever desperate “?????” but it’s best not to acknowledge the delay—if he’s not actually busy, that’s what he wants, after all. His not responding to one of your messages is far less humiliating than not responding to eight of them. And though you’ll want to play games in return (“Okay, so for each hour he made me wait for his reply, I’m going to wait for two hours to reply to him…”) you should give a relatively prompt reply once he responds again. Two wrongs don’t make a right, and two people playing games can make for a conversation that gets absolutely nowhere fast.

7. The Booty-Call Text

[10:45 p.m.]“Yo. What’s up?”

[12:30 a.m.] “You back yet?”

[1:15 a.m.] “Let’s hang.”

Chances are, if any sort of text like this is sent after dark, he doesn’t want to know “what is up,” but rather if you’re “down” to hook up. So do you go for it?

What it means: Christine Hart, dating coach and founder of YourDateCoach, says, “If a guy is interested in a serious relationship, he is not going to send booty-call texts at 3 a.m. Men know better than that. Also, if a guy is interested in pursuing a serious relationship, he does not send you texts like: ‘sup?’ or ‘where you at?’ or ‘you awake?’”

Lieberman agrees, saying that to respond to the booty call is to relinquish control of the relationship. “It shows that he's just using you for sex,” she says. “He obviously has no respect for you if he thinks all he has to do is text you to get you to give him whatever he wants.” There’s nothing wrong with giving in to a little carnal desire every now and then. But if you’re looking for a relationship, collegiettes, the booty call guy is not the one to pursue. This guy is perfect for some consensually detached, late night fun, but you probably shouldn’t hold your breath for this guy to take you out on a date. 

How to respond: If a hook-up buddy isn’t what you’re seeking, then make it known. The best way to express your disinterest in these types of texts? Silence. “You can let a guy know you refuse to take his messages that late by ignoring them,” says Wanis. If this guy really wants to see you outside of his dorm room in the wee hours of the morning, he’ll get the picture and text you at a more socially acceptable hour.

8. The Unprompted Sext

“So, about that dress that made you look bangin’ like Beyoncé…”

“[Picture you would never want your parents to see]”

Do we even need to explain this one any further?

What it means: Guys, as Wanis says, are very visual creatures. So, his unsolicited requests for photos or unexpected confessions of fantasies could be expressing a strong attraction to you—or he’s simply attempting to satisfy his arousal through some naughty texting with the first girl that came up on his contacts list.  

Whether his sexual come-ons are a reflection of his attraction to you or a reflection of his horniness, your guy wouldn’t be sexting if he wanted a relationship. An interested guy will find another way to express his attraction you––and usually it’s a way that isn’t X-rated.

How to respond: Just like the booty call, there’s no reason not to reciprocate if you’re not looking for anything serious. But if a relationship is what you want, and you want a boy who’s just as serious about being in one as you are, ignore these texts. You’ll save yourself a lot of grief—and a lot of anxiety about composing the perfect “sexy” reply. 

Hart says that if a guy is interested in a serious relationship, his text message to you will read more like this: “Hey (name), are you free this weekend? I’ve got passes to…” or “Good to see you at (event) last night! What are you up to this Friday?” His messages will be respectful, direct, and express the desire to make definite plans with you in the future. Bottom line: if a guy is really interested, you won’t need to hire a cryptographer to figure that out.

Someday those guys might stop playing games (we’re hoping it’ll be different in the post-college dating scene), but until then we’ll just have to use our intuition—and a little advice—to decipher all their confusing text messages.   

Here's the thing: we don’t mind being single. Honestly. 

We just wish the world didn't feel a need to constantly remind us of our single status.

We hate those couples who insist on holding hands in public,

or sharing their dessert with each another,

or—the horror—kissing in our presence. Get a room, lovebirds!

We hate those events where we're expected to bring a date,

and we really hate those questions about if there’s “someone special in our lives.”

We’re just like, that lunch we had today was pretty special; does that count?

What about Valentine’s Day? What is that nonsense?

And when did Christmas start revolving around finding the “perfect gift for your sweetie?” Please.

How about seeing couples tweet at each other constantly or write mushy messages on each other's walls on Facebook? 

Don't even get us started on those girls who Instagram pictures of the flowers their boyfriends sent them. (#BestBoyfriendEVAHHH!) 

BRB, going to go eat dinner alone.

But you know what we really hate? That being single has such a stigma.

We don’t have cats running all around our apartment, believe it or not.

We don’t cry into our pints of Ben and Jerry’s at night because we don’t have a “special someone.”

No, we may not be in relationships right now, but we are not yet planning to spend the rest of our lives in empty solitude.

Someday, we might find someone who appreciates just how great we are…

…but right now, we are totally okay being our sassy, single selves.

If anyone wants to buy us dinner tonight, though, we wouldn’t protest.

Everyone says it: “Girls mature faster than boys.” From the days of having cooties in kindergarten, we’ve been led to believe that boys our age are too childish for us. And while we love checking them out on the quad—whoever created “shirts versus skins” deserves a national holiday in his or her honor—we can’t help but think that college guys still have some growing up to do. With seniors, grad students, and working 20-somethings to swoon over, dating an older guy is an appealing option.

At the same time, some collegiettes love pursuing freshmen boys when they’re upperclass(wo)men: a younger guy’s carefree spirit is endearing, he probably doesn’t know your ex, and, let’s be honest, age is just a number when a gorgeous guy comes along. There’s nothing wrong with dating someone older or younger (as long as you’re both the age of consent), but this situation has its own set of consequences to consider. We talked to collegiettes across the nation and relationship experts to see how an age difference impacts different aspects of a relationship.

Dating A Younger Guy

The conversation

You may be smitten with that younger guy for a number of reasons—his chiseled abs and the fact he makes you feel like Mrs. Robinson, just to name a few. But according to some collegiettes, your conversations with a younger beau may feel a little off at times.

“While I like to have fun, I also like serious conversation every once in a while,” says Rachel*, a college graduate who dated a 19 year-old during her mid-twenties. “His maturity was next to none.”

We’re not accusing your younger boy toy of being incapable of having a serious conversation; however, it’s important to recognize that the two of you are at different places in your lives. How can he understand your grad school applications freak-out if he hasn’t even declared a major yet? While it’s important to have serious conversations with your boyfriend, keep in mind that it may be more difficult to connect with a younger guy.

His priorities

Let’s take a trip down memory lane to when your only concerns were deciding which parties you would attend and reading that art history chapter before Monday morning. From securing your spot on the Dean’s List to participating in your favorite extracurriculars to scoring that coveted internship, your priorities are probably more refined than they were a few years ago. Though a younger dude’s “YOLO” attitude can be refreshing and make you nostalgic for your own carefree freshman days, it could cause a strain on your relationship

“It just felt like different things mattered to us,” says Jillian*, a 21-year-old collegiette who casually dated an 18 year-old during her semester in London. “I thought about [my] future more and he was more in the moment, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. He was just moving away from home and it seemed like his priority was to just have fun.”

It’s a classic case of “girls mature faster than boys,” and there’s science to prove it! “The female brain fully develops earlier and sooner than the male brain,” says Patrick Wanis, a human behavior expert and author of Get the Man You Want.

According to this relationship expert, a girl’s prefrontal cortex, which allows us to make rational decisions instead of ones that are based on emotional impulses, matures at ages 20 to 22. Our lovely male counterparts’ prefrontal cortexes, on the other hand, do not mature until they are 22 to 24 years old. Translation? Scientifically speaking, your boy toy probably won’t have the same mature priorities as you do.

What others think

From Samantha Jones to Kourtney Kardashian, being a “cougar” has taken on a rather glamorous stereotype. But while you may love trotting around with your youthful boy toy, not everyone may embrace this trendy reputation.

Luckily, Rachel’s parents were supportive of her and her younger beau. “My mom is seven years older than my dad, so she didn’t have any negative reaction to my dating a younger guy,” she says. However, Rachel’s friends did have some objections. “My friends thought I should stick to guys closer to my age who were either close to graduating [college] or already graduated,” Rachel says. Though your happiness is the most important thing, it’s important to talk to those who doubt your relationship to see where they’re coming from. Who knows—they may have the wrong idea of your other half, or they may bring up an issue with your beau that isn’t age-related.

How he’ll treat you

Remember how much you looked up to your old camp counselor, babysitter, and first grade teacher when you were a kid? A guy who’s younger than you is bound to have a similar admiration for you, only filled with passion and romance. “Younger guys will be more infatuated by you and more likely to put you on a pedestal than older guys,” notes Wanis. He adds that if a guy is completely smitten with you, there’s a good chance you’ll be wearing the pants in this relationship. Showered with praise and in control? Fine by us!

Dating An Older Guy

The conversation

As expected, dating an older guy tends to lead to mature conversation. “Things do tend to be more serious when we’re together than when I’m with my girlfriends,” says Spencer*, a 21 year-old who is casually dating a guy almost twenty years older than her. “Much less talk about the Kardashians and much more talk about work, politics, and research.”

Even if your man is all caught up with the Kardashians, you may still experience some difficulty connecting with him. If your beau has already graduated, he may not understand why the latest campus drama is so important. At the same time, all his talk about that big presentation for work may go right over your head. Since the two of you are in completely different worlds, you may need to explain things a little more to him than you normally would to a collegent.

But be warned, the conversation may get a little too serious if he starts talking about the future. “Being his age, talk of marriage and kids does come up on his end,” says Spencer. “He’s definitely past the age of commitment-phobia and on to the real deal.” If you’re not ready to walk down the aisle anytime soon, this topic may be a little uncomfortable for you. “Get clear very quickly on what you want and what your values are,” advises Wanis. So if you’re not ready for marriage and kids, speak up! Trust us; you’ll save yourself from an awkward conversation later.

The physical factor

Unless your boyfriend is the real life 40-year-old virgin, or you went a little too crazy freshman year, there’s a good chance an older squeeze has more sexual experience than you. No matter how confident you are, knowing about your guy’s former flings and ex-girlfriends would make any girl uncomfortable, right? But according to Hayley*, a 20-year-old collegiette who is currently dating a 25-year-old, having a guy who’s more experienced actually helps the relationship. “While fumbling around is cute with your first boyfriend, that’s the last thing I want now,” she says. “His experience makes him more confident, open to suggestion, and easier to please.” Just because he may have more experience than you doesn’t mean you can teach him a thing or two!

His priorities

Since your older guy’s prefrontal cortex has finally developed, he is more likely to have his priorities in check. Hopefully, he has a well-paid job and is over the days of frat parties and flip cup. A guy with ambition and responsibilities—what could be the problem?

For starters, he may be a little too busy. “His days [were] filled with clients, meetings and conference calls,” says Hilary*, a collegiette who dated a 22-year-old when she was a freshman in college. “He worked 80 hours a week, including weekends, and [couldn’t] really go out at night. I work hard in school and intern year-round, but I still like to go out to clubs and bars with friends on the weekends.”

Though you may be proud of your sweetheart’s commitment to work, you may end up not getting the attention you crave. “A guy who’s older already has a career and other responsibilities may have less time to give to you,” says Wanis. “You may not be the priority.” Maintaining a healthy relationship is hard work, but different schedules and obligations may cause a rift in the relationship. To minimize the tension, try scheduling couple time when he’s free, and a fun night with your bestie when he’s swamped with work.

Who pays for dates

“I hate getting treated to things,” said no girl ever. Whether you’re taken to a fancy dinner or he picks up the tab for your large latte, we secretly love when a guy offers to pay for us. Thanks to a stable income, your older squeeze may want to shower you with presents.

“You can’t hate the resources that dating an older guy gets you,” admits Spencer. “He’s not living paycheck-to-paycheck like guys my age, so he wants to provide dinner, morning coffee, and travel. He makes me feel like a princess!”

Being treated by your beau is great, but it can be awkward at times. “He [once] had a meeting and offered [to let] me to go on a shopping spree with his card,” Spencer recalls. “I love[d] the offer, but it doesn’t feel right for him to pay for me to entertain myself!”

Take a page from this collegiette’s book and draw the line before he becomes your sugar daddy. Even though you always bat your eyes, flip your hair, and thank him, feel free to chip in every once in awhile. “While he may have a more secure job, that doesn’t mean he’s my personal pocketbook,” says Hayley. “He usually pays, but sometimes we go dutch or he pays for lunch and I pay for cupcakes after.” After all, nobody wants to be a gold digger.

What others think

Let’s be honest: it’s pretty cool to say you’re dating someone who’s older and more mature than your average frat bro. While other collegiettes are left wondering if that DFMO from last weekend could blossom into something more, you’re in an adult relationship with a real man. But is that how others view your relationship, too?

According to most of the collegiettes we talked to, their friends and family members support them dating someone older. “My parents were completely supportive; they’re also seven years apart themselves,” says Hilary. “Right from the beginning, they took an interest in my relationship and invited my boyfriend to stay at our house or a few days over winter break.”

As much as your parents may like your older boyfriend, don’t be surprised if they have some reservations about your relationship. “Parents see the age gap as a gap in life experience, and [my parents] don’t want me to make any big relationship decisions when I have so much left to experience,” says Hayley. “I think the age difference scares my dad in particular because [my boyfriend] is older and more towards the ‘marrying age.’”

When the age gap gets bigger, some collegiettes find themselves not wanting to tell their parents about their older guy. “I know it would make them severely uncomfortable to know that he was closer to their ages than mine,” confesses Spencer. “While I love spending time with him and think he’s a great person, I know I won’t be spending the rest of my life with him. It’s not worth causing some awkward dinner conversation.” As crazy as keeping your relationship a secret from your family may sound, many people disapprove of dating an older guy. “In society, we tend to think that if there’s a huge age difference, the man is just using her or that the girl is whipped,” notes Wanis. If you’re unwilling to tell people about your main squeeze, it may be time to take a step back and reevaluate your relationship.

How he’ll treat you

Whether you are swept up in a whirlwind romance or dating the boyfriend from hell, dating is always a learning experience. For Elizabeth*, a collegiette who’s consistently dated guys four to ten years older than her, “older and wiser” men have helped her see different ways to approach various situations. “Not so much playing devil’s advocate, but simply showing me there might be another way a scenario could play out,” says Elizabeth. You may be annoyed with your biology professor because he always talks down to you, but hearing your guy’s take on the dilemma may allow you to see a different side to the story.

According to our relationship guru, this is a definite pro. “Women are attracted to men who can teach them,” says Wanis. “Women love to learn, probably more than men, so they’re attracted to men who can open their mind and show them a whole new way of looking at the world.”

But for Samantha*, who dated a 25 year-old when she was 20, there’s a fine line between a guy offering his opinion and babying you. “I felt like he was always lecturing me about saving money and getting my homework done,” says Samantha. “At times, I felt like he was being a parent more than a boyfriend.” According to Wanis, this may occur for a number of reasons: your beau may aspire to be father figure, he is a little controlling, or he doesn’t want to view you as an equal (harsh).

If you ever find yourself in this predicament, politely remind your man that you are a mature collegiette who’s able to make decisions for herself—nobody needs another parental figure!

Age aside, the most important thing is if you’re happy. “The questions a woman needs to ask herself in relationships are: ‘Do we have values that we share, are of similar maturity levels, and have some similar interests?’ ‘Do I enjoy the time we spend together?’ ‘Do I like who I am in this relationship?’ and, most importantly, ‘Am I complete without this person in my life?’” advises Kim Olver, author of Secrets of Happy Couples: Loving Yourself, Your Partner, and Your Life. “When a woman can answer ‘yes’ to all those questions, then age is irrelevant providing [you’re both] of legal age to participate.” At the end of the day, choose a guy who makes you happy, no matter how old he is.

*Names have been changed.

Name: Cliff Johnson

School: Auburn

Major: History

Relationship Status: Taken, sorry ladies

Outside Activities: ROTC and partying

Favorite Thing to See a Girl Wear: Yoga pants ;)

Celebrity Crush: Mila Kunis (typical)

Favorite Body Part on a Girl: Butt (preferably in yoga pants)

Ideal Date: Take a girl out to a nice dinner then dancing out at the bar

Post Grad Plans: Join the army and defend our country!

Name: Nicholas Layton Rudder

School: UCSB

Hometown: Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia


Graduation Year: 2014


Major/Minor: Marketing/Psychology


Interests: Surfing, boxing, music


Reason for Picking UCSB to Study Abroad: Why not? And videos of Deltopia, Halloween, and Extravaganza didn't hurt either! 


Thoughts on American Girls: Better than Australian girls...and to the point.


Thoughts on the Dating Scene in Isla Vista: Dating scene?


Pick Up Line of Choice: Talking loudly with an accent in the general vicinity of women
.

Ideal Girl: A wild brunette with sass.


Turn-ons: American accents, tans, yoga pants, and fripples.

Turn-offs: Girls saying "oh my god"/"no way," being called a New Zealander, and not meeting the above criteria
.

Worst Date You've Ever Been On: I took a girl for a walk on the beach and a seagull shat on my head.


Embarrassing Confession: While trying to make out with my ideal sassy brunette in a bush, I was attacked by raccoons.


Favorite Part of America: Cabo--the American Mexico. 

Name: Jonathan McGibbon

School: Clemson

Year: Junior

Major: Sociology

Hometown: Lindenhurst, New York

Relationship Status: Single

Why Clemson University: Fell in love with the atmosphere and all the good people of Clemson.

What do you do in your free time? I come from a family of firefighters so I’m pretty good at saving kittens from trees. Boxing, preferably with just the bag and not someone hitting me back. Eating and I also love being outdoors.

What are you most attracted to in a person? A girl’s smile, good heart and care free attitude but still knows right from wrong.

If you could be a superhero who would it be and Why? Wolverine, he’s jacked, he has that wolf scent that girls are attracted to, claws to fight off any incoming terror. The only downside is that he’s self-healing: chicks dig scars.

Favorite Movie: Heavyweights

Favorite Pre-Game Playlist: Whatever’s on Pandora that day, usually the band The Dropkick Murphy’s or Jay-Z.

Favorite Current popular Female style: Yoga pants.

Hottest girl you have seen on campus (If you want to describe her you can): Well I couldn’t tell you what she looked like because I only remember the color of her eyes.

Favorite Qualities in your “perfect” girl: Loves dogs, can withstand my mother’s thick New York blood, a confident girl who can be sexy and classy at the same time.   

Name: Ethan Miller

School: UCLA

Year: Fourth Year

Hometown: Irvine, CA

Favorite part about home? It's in a nice area and it's very relaxing.

Favorite part about UCLA? The power forward of the women's basketball team.

Hottest thing that girls wear?  Yoga pants or costumes. Favorite costume? Cheerleader, cowgirl, and those furry rave boots.. not necessarily in that order.

Top number of texts a girl should send you per day? One. I'm more of a face to face kinda guy. 

Your dream vacation? Ibiza for the hot girls and drinks on the beach.

Celebrity Crush? Kate Beckinsale. She's gorgeous and has a sexy British accent. And because she's in Pearl Harbor.

You can be Mark Zuckerberg or David Beckham. Who would you choose and why? David Beckham because he's a stud and a famous athlete. And then I would be married to Victoria Beckham.

You’re walking with your two best friends and run into a hot girl that calls you her way, do you find an excuse for your friends or for the girl? Neither. I'd go over to the girl with my friends and assess the situation.

Piece of advice for all girls?“You don’t have to have game, you are the game”.

10 Second Round:

Penthouse in the city or beach house on the coast? Beach house on the coast.

Cuddling by the fire or getting down at a club? Depends on the situation. I like them both, depending on which mood I’m in.

Breakfast: Eggs benedict or French toast? Eggs Benedict.

Range Rover or Corvette? Rover

Your Kindergarten crush? I don't remember..I was in Massachusetts.

Name: Nicholas Jordan Gooding

School: USC

Year: Sophomore

Hometown: Newport Beach, CA

Major: Undeclared

What do you look for in a girl? A nice smile, a fun personality, and a sense of humor

Who is your celebrity crush? Alison Brie...she is gorgeous and plays an awesome role on Community

Biggest turn on? Yoga pants and/or booty shorts

Favorite Berkeley moment thus far? Bagoing down to USC with my fraternity was amazing

There's lots of good eats around campus...What's your favorite? CREAM

Name: Joseph Michael O'Brien

School: SAU

Year in school: Junior

Hometown: Elmhurst, Illinois

Major: Marketing

Relationship status: Single

Favorite book: Tough Guy: My Life on the Edge

Favorite food: Pizza

Favorite super hero: Batman

Hobbies: Hockey, playing guitar, listening to music

What's your idea of a perfect first date? Dinner and a hockey game or dinner and a country concert.

Traits you look for in a girl: Great smile, beautiful eyes, good sense of humor, good personality

What's the sexiest thing a girl can wear? Yoga pants and a hockey jersey...or just a hockey jersey.

Do you like when a girl makes the first move? Yes I do.

Anything else you'd like to add? Come see my band play or add me on Facebook.

Name: Luke Staudt

School: SAU

Year in school: Sophomore

Hometown: Marble Rock, Iowa

Major: Management and marketing

Relationship status: Single

Favorite book: Called to Coach

Favorite food: Peanut butter cookies

Favorite superhero: Thor

Hobbies: Golfing, listening to music, traveling

What's your idea of a perfect first date? Quality dinner, explore the town.

Traits you look for in a girl: Down-to-earth, genuine, has goals in life

What's the sexiest thing a girl can wear? Yoga pants have my approval.

What's a dealbreaker? Lack of social skills, smoker

Do you like when a girl makes the first move? I sure don't mind it.

Name:Christian Keenum

School: Georgetown

Hometown: Silver Spring, MD

Year: MSB '15

Relationship Status: Single

Hobbies: Basketball and tennis

Best place to meet girls on campus: Wherever Jack (or JJ) is...

Biggest turn on / turn off: Turn on would be yoga pants and turn off would be too much makeup (red lipstick).

What impresses you about a girl when you first meet her? If she can talk about sports.

Best pick up line: Do you have a Band-Aid?... Because I scraped my knee falling for you.

Best date: A concert, maybe country?

What is your "type"? Athletic, outgoing, and into sports

Best thing about Georgetown girls: They have good style and they're active.  

Describe yourself in three words: A true gentleman 

Hot or Not:
Tattoos: Not
Girls paying for dinner: Not
Lipstick: Not
Workout clothes: HOT 
Form-fitting or casual cute: Form-fitting

  Ever wonder what guys think, how to deal with them, or whether instead of listening to you, they just imagine you naked? Our Real Live College Guy Joe will answer all your questions about men and relationships with wit, clarity, grace and physical attractiveness (can you tell he wrote this intro himself?) all while imagining you fully clothed! Well, usually – he is a college guy.
 
My boyfriend and I want to take it to the next step (sex), but he seems nervous and insecure about the fact that he’s a virgin and I’m not. He acts hesitant every time we get to that point right before we are about to have sex. What’s the best way to reassure him that I am not bothered by his lack of experience?
    — Stuck at Skidmore

For inexperienced guys, the more you take control, the more comfortable he will be. You initiate the kissing, you take off your clothes and his, you fasten the leather straps – all that good stuff. Don’t tell him how he should be doing things because that will destroy his confidence. Use your hands to guide him (that’s way better), or Morse code the way he should be doing things by tapping on his buttocks. And don’t ever, in any way, bring up the fact of his inexperience. Say nothing like, “I don’t care you’re a virgin, virgin,” “Can you pass me that water bottle, virgin,” or, “Hey virgin, how are you liking the sex so far?” In all seriousness, don’t say things like, “It doesn’t matter to me that you’re inexperienced” – all that will do is remind him of his inexperience. And then, instead of a sexy hulk pleasuring you all over the place, you will have a weeping little fetus of a boyfriend who, once again, you need to rock to sleep in his boyfriend-sized diaper. 
 
Since that’s all I have to say on the matter, here are some pithy scenarios to dramatize what I mean: 

Girlfriend: I don’t care that you’re inexperienced. 
Boyfriend: (Entering fetus state) Get my diapers! 

Gf: You know, the other boys I’ve had sex with have done it like this. 
Bf: Wow, that sounds really pleasurable. Are these boys single now? 
 
Gf: I can’t decide whether to order the chicken carbonara or the shrimp scampi. 
What Bf hears: Virgin virgin virgin virgin. Virgin virgin?  
 
Now here’s what will happen if you follow my advice: 
 
Scene: Bedroom. Lit candles sit on every sill as a gentle breeze comes in through the open window. Is that a scent of cinnamon in the air? The bed is surrounded by white drapes, swaying lightly. BOYFRIEND and GIRLFRIEND lie upon the bed, dry humping ever so gently and romantically. Barry Manilow is there – singing, or not singing, it doesn’t matter. 
 
Gf: Are you ready? 
Bf: Yeah, I think so. 
Gf: (Guiding him with one of her hands and tapping with her other hand what she thinks is Morse code but is actually the beat to “Stayin’ Alive”) Oh my God, you’re so good at this [Author’s Note: Say this no matter what – even if he’s terrible].
Bf: Really? 
Gf: Yeah. Is Barry Manilow just going to stand there all night? 
Bf: Well, I booked him for four hours. 
 
So there you go. To recap: You take control. You guide him. Don’t bring up his inexperience. Also, don’t make a big deal about the whole affair. Don’t have a “DANNY’S LOSING HIS VIRGINITY TONIGHT” party cruise that you invite all your family and friends to or anything. Just, the next time you’re hooking up, if the time’s right, let it happen – with some helpful nudges in that direction from you.  
 
And if Barry’s busy, book Luther Vandross.

Broke from calling late night love lines for advice? Looking for the lowdown on the hoedown when it comes to college guys? Real Live College Guy Sean is here to help you pick apart the mind of the average college guy. Whether it’s avoiding that awkward weekend hook-up or full-on relationship advice, Sean is here to save the day!

So I've been hooking up on and off with this guy for a year now. When we first started to hook up in the beginning of last summer, he would take me out on dates, I met his family, and we would hang out sober a lot of the time. He was going to be a sophomore in college and I was going to be a freshman at the same school, so at the end of the summer, he said that he wanted to keep things casual, which I was fine with. Once school started, though, especially second semester, we began to hang out a lot and would hook up practically every weekend. However, the dates stopped, the sober hangouts stopped, and whenever we hooked up, we were usually drunk. I don't really know what changed... it’s like we went backwards. I also became good friends with a lot of his friends so I feel like I can't really break away from him even if I tried (or wanted to). Some of his friends tell me that he hasn't been hooking up with anyone else, but we don't really discuss it ourselves. He once told me (drunkenly) that we just can't be together right now, but that doesn't mean later on we can't be something. Also... I'm a virgin and he knows that. When I finally agreed to have sex (after a year of him suggesting that he wanted to), he got all weird and wouldn't do it. Now that this summer has started, we haven't hooked up since around spring break but he still texts me to hang out at parties and with mutual friends. Do you think this guy actually cares about me or has any feelings for me, or could he honestly care less? – Frustrated at FSU

Frustrated,

Your name perfectly reflects how I feel about this. As I’ve said before, the thing about guys is, when we want something, we’ll go and get it (or at least, those of us with backbones will). So when he keeps brushing off the issue of being together, it’s a decent indication that he’s not going to commit anytime soon. Before I go any further, however, there is one sentence you said that I’d like to highlight:

“He once told me (drunkenly) that we just can’t be together right now, but that doesn’t mean later on we can’t be something.”

Forgive me for being straightforward, but when he said that, I have no idea how you didn’t stand up, pour your lukewarm Keystone Ice on his head and then promptly leave/kick him in the groin so hard his future children would feel it. So, kudos for having self-restraint there. (Also, this is why I could never be a woman. I would have beaten him down Kill Bill style, but I digress…)

This guy is exactly what’s wrong with relationships in college. He takes you out, everything is perfect, but when you finally want to define the relationship, or at least figure out what his deal is, he’s like an eel—you just can’t grab onto him. Not only that, but when he said you couldn’t be together “right now,” he lied right to your face. “Right now” is something people fall back on when they don’t have the courage to say, “I’m sorry, I’m just not interested in you like that.” Instead, they resort to not having a spine and saying things that feed you false hope.

Unfortunately, when guys say we want to “keep things casual,” that’s essentially code for, “I’m going to play the field but use you as my girl on reserve if I can’t find anything else.” It’s really an unfair tactic. If you’re fed up with him (as you should be) but are worried about your mutual friends, simply stop hooking up with him. He’s had plenty of chances to make things right between you, and he still hasn’t done it. It’s not like you’ve given him a reason why you shouldn’t date. There are tons of other guys out there who would treat you, at the very least, fairly. In my opinion, it’s really not super difficult to be friendly rather than flirty. It may suck the first time you see him, but just relax and remind yourself that he’s just a friend now. If he comes at you again when he’s drunk and looking for a hook-up (which he probably will), politely remind him that he’s had his chance and you’re tired of waiting for him.

I realize that this may be one of my most blunt RLCG articles yet, but I feel that in cases like this, sometimes it’s necessary to give straight advice, especially when the story involves someone who’s simply been feeding you lies. Find someone who will treat you right and won’t put you on the back burner. You’ve still got three years of school left… why spend them waiting?