It’s the weekend, you’re at a party, the cute guy from across the room catches your eye and before you know it, you two are engrossed in a flirtatious conversation full of eyelash-batting and hair-twirling. At this point in our college careers, flirting should almost be second nature to us, yet we STILL get totally nervous whenever the cute guy invites us out onto the dance floor.

Chances are if you’ve ever flirted with a cutie from a party (which you totally have, don’t lie) you’ve probably had at least one of these embarrassing thoughts!

1. Wow, that guy’s really cute. Is he looking at me? I can’t tell if he’s looking at me. Oh no, he caught me staring. How long was I staring at him? Act casual. ACT. CASUAL.

2. Oh my God, he’s coming this way. Is he coming towards me? What am I going to say? I DON’T EVEN REMEMBER MY OWN NAME RIGHT NOW!

3. Oh, he said something kind of funny. I should laugh. Am I laughing too much? Does my laugh sound cute, or do I sound like a dying hyena?

4. He asked if he could buy me a drink. Do I stick with my signature vodka-cran, or do I ask for a beer to look tough?

5. Why does he keep staring at my mouth? Is he going to kiss me, or do I just have something stuck in my teeth?

6. Wait… am I wearing cute underwear right now? Yes, I definitely am. Good. WAIT, did I shave my legs last night?! No, I definitely did not. Not good.

7. Did I really just say that? Why am I acting like this is the first time I’ve ever interacted with a member of the opposite sex?

8. Maybe I should throw in a sexy wink or something… nope. That was terrible. That was a terrible idea. He probably just thinks I have some sort of weird twitch now. Great.

9. I literally can’t stop playing with my hair. What is wrong with me?

10. Oh no… awkward silence. Say something to keep the conversation going. Anything. Don’t just stand there! SAY. SOMETHING.

11. He just touched my arm. He totally wants me.

12. Can we just make out already?!

13. Ahh, all of my friends are leaving! Do I leave with them or keep talking to this cute guy? Who am I kidding – I’m definitely staying.

14.  He wants to dance? How’s he going to feel when he realizes that my dance moves are less “Beyoncé at the VMAs” and more “Taylor Swift dancing in the audience at the VMAs”?

15. YES, he asked for my number! Success!

So maybe we have no idea what we’re doing, but that won’t stop us from flirting with every hottie who comes our way! For now we’ll just pray that we can Taylor-Swift-dance our way through any flirtatious situation – vodka-cran in hand, of course. 

We all need a little guidance now and then, so whether you’re stressed about a fling gone wrong, a recently wrecked relationship or how to handle a stage-five clinger, Real Live College Guy Dale is here to help you navigate the college dating scene.

Last year, I cheated on my boyfriend of two years—it was a one-time mistake that will never happen again. After months of talking, he's decided to give me a second chance—but I can't figure out if we're working on something that's already over or if we'll really be able to get over this. Things feel normal when we're alone together, but he isn't affectionate in public like he used to be and I feel like I'm initiating everything in our relationship, whether we're just hanging out or going on dates. How long is "normal" for a guy to get over a mistake like mine? And at what point should I accept that the relationship won't recover and that we should just move on? —Rebuilding at Rutgers

Rutgers,

The problem here is that you think that there’s some standard time for getting over someone cheating on you—that there’s some kind of statute of limitations on getting over something like that. Simply put, that’s not true.

Trust isn’t something that is easily gained, though it can surely be easily lost. The unfortunate fact here is that you cheated on him, even once, and it seems like you believe he should have to forgive you at some point.

In reality, his trust in you—along with his ability to be as intimate with you as he used to be—might be forever damaged. That’s just how it is for some people. There isn’t a specific timeline for recovery when it comes to these things.

So where does that leave you two? At some point, you’re going to need to sit down and talk about the changes that you feel are occurring and where you think they’re stemming from. Confront the fact that you feel this way and address whatever feelings he might be suppressing. Maybe he does want to be with you, but maybe he can’t exactly forgive you just yet. Maybe he just doesn’t know how to break up with you because you’ve been together for two years and, even if he knows it’s over, bringing himself to leave you would still be painful.

The thing with cheating is that we—the people who get cheated on—don’t just lose feelings for the cheater overnight. We were with you for a reason, we loved you for a reason and for whatever reason you decided to forgo that trust. As mad as we might be, we’re stuck between a rock and a hard place because we want to hate you, but we fell for you for a reason. That reason usually doesn’t just disappear… at least it didn’t when I found out my ex cheated on me.

His trust may not be able to be regained. That isn’t to say that he isn’t trying to trust you, but it isn’t an easy battle. How long you wait for his trust to be rebuilt is entirely up to you. Are you comfortable waiting for him? Is your dedication to the relationship that strong? Before he can fully trust you again, he may need to hear that you understand why he might be pulling away. You have to decide if this guy is someone you’re willing to wait for.

Rutgers, I think you already know what the answer really is. From what I’m seeing here I think it’s time for you two to take a break. Some time apart might do both of you some good, but before you make that decision, I firmly believe you need to sit him down and have an honest discussion.

I can’t give you an estimate because I’m not him. We all have varying recovery times. Just because you’re sorry it happened doesn’t mean he has to forgive you, and I don’t think he’s reached that point yet.

So you met a total babe at a party. He’s got a cheeky grin, killer abs and the type of charm Chris Pratt possesses. Best of all? He’s been totally into you ever since you met at a recent frat party: You’ve gotten a fabulous “good morning” text, a bunch of adorable compliments and a few inquiries about the next hangout (makeout?) sesh. But did he just like your kissing skills, or does he want something more? Here’s how to tell he’s a keeper during the party and afterward.

At the party

He wants to know more about you

If he’s totally into himself (i.e., he’s playing beer pong with his frat bros and ignoring you), this dude may not be Mr. Right.

On the other hand, if he does display a real interest in hearing what you’re about, such as asking about your major, extracurriculars and other interests, this guy may be into you. After all, don’t you want to know all about a potential love interest?

He understands if you don’t want to sleep with him

Jerk alert: He pressures you to have sex with him. If you’re not ready, say “no” and hightail it out of there.

“I think the difference between a nice guy and a one-night stand is the nice guy will understand when you don't want to spend the night with him,” says Rachel*, a student at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. “The one-night stand will say something like, ‘Aw c'mon, you know you wanna...’”

But if he’s completely understanding of your hesitation (and there’s absolutely no shame there, collegiettes), congrats! You’ve met someone with the type of qualities every guy should possess.

He makes sure you get home okay

The festivities died down, his frat bros are already sleeping on the living room floor with permanent marker drawn all over their faces and the place reeks of vodka and sweat. This is the moment that can clue you in that he’s a keeper: He offers to walk you home or ensures that you get home okay.

According to Jen*, a junior at the University of California, Los Angeles, this means he’s a nice guy. She met one of her boyfriends at a party and she knew he wasn’t looking for a one-night stand when he made sure she got home okay. It’s a strong indicator of a good guy who cares — especially because it’s never safe for a woman to walk home alone in the middle of the night!

Immediately after the party

He’s interested in going on a real date

If he’s not all, “Come back over to my house, baby [winky-face],” you may be on to something.

“[He may be nice if] he actually calls you the next day or shortly thereafter and invites you to go out on something that resembles a real date, like a movie,” says dating coach and speaker Sandra Fidelis.

He wants to take you out for brunch at your town diner. He asks you to see that latest rom-com with Daniel Radcliffe being all adorable (we’re already swooning). He wants to go for a walk around campus together. While he may just be trying to charm your pants off, he could actually be in it for the long haul.

Definitely give the date a go and try to catch his vibe. Is he laying on the charm so thick you know it’s fake? You can tell he’s a phony if he laughs way too loud, touches you a little too often and compliments you excessively. Or does he come off as genuine? He’s probably sincere if he listens to what you’re saying, asks follow-up questions and isn’t afraid to be a gentleman. If the latter is the case, he’s worth a second date.

He wants to meet your friends (and he wants you to meet his, too)

You’ve gone on that first date and he seemed like a good guy (so far). Now, he says he wants to meet the people you’re close with, and he wants to introduce you to his posse as well.

“[He may be nice if] he’s interested in meeting and hanging out with you and your friends and invites you to hang out with his as well,” Fidelis says.

It’s totally worth bringing your girls to meet him because they can give you their insights on this dude, too. Your friends have a way of knowing whether the guy you’re into is a bad egg or a catch.

And don’t be afraid to meet his friends, too! If he hangs around guys who seem kind of tool-ish, you’ve got reason to question him. But if he’s got some cool bros, then hey, things are looking up!

He offers to help you out when you need it

The dates have been stellar, your girl friends think he’s fantastic, his friends were nice and now you’re really falling for this frat boy. Bonus if he offers to help you in a time of need.

“[He may be nice if] he offers to help you with something, [like] getting your oil changed or helping you study for a subject he really likes,” Fidelis says. “If he’s really interested, he’ll want to show you that your connection goes beyond the frat house.”

Your car broke down a couple miles off of campus and you feel pretty screwed — until he offers to come rescue you (aww). You’re seriously struggling with your environmental science homework, so he suggests a study sesh in the library because he passed the class last semester. You need help carrying something heavy up to your dorm room, and he’s there waiting with strong arms. Another thumbs up — looks like this guy is doing everything to prove to you that you’re worth it to him.

It’s never easy to find a great guy in a world full of college boys who are just looking to get laid. As difficult as they are to find, though, good college guys do exist — and if you’ve experienced these things with your latest cutie, chances are you’ve got a real keeper on your hands.

*Names have been changed.

If we were to believe everything we saw in movies, we would think that virginity was worse than the bubonic plague. Thanks to sex-centered teen flicks like Mean Girls, American Pie, The To Do List and more, many of us collegiettes have grown up thinking of virginity as some backwards, juvenile label we need to shed before moving on to the mature world that is the college campus (to which we have to say: there’s so much wrong with that sentence). We find some cute guy or girl at a party, we lose our virginity and voilà! We become women. Problem solved, right?

The reality? Tons of collegiettes, not just freshmen, are still carrying their V-cards—and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Still, some collegiettes can’t help but worry about the way it’ll affect their love lives (and what guys think of girls who are still virgins). In truth, many of them do struggle in the hypersexual college hook-up scene (as if we really need to tack that onto our list of freshman-year worries about roommates, picking classes and if our mini fridges will really keep our Ben & Jerry’s pints icy fresh). We asked collegiettes to share their real-life experiences as virgins so we could get the scoop on the good and the bad of waiting to have sex (and losing it when you’re ready).

How Many V-Card Carriers Are There on College Campuses, and What Do Others Think of Them?

The Facts

While it may seem like everyone around you is DTF on any given Friday night, the truth is that virginity is way more common than collegiettes think. According to Her Campus’s Ultimate College Girl Survey 2012, which surveyed over 2,500 college women across the country, 43 percent of girls were still virgins at the time that they responded to the survey. Twenty-two percent lost their virginities between the ages of 18 and 19 and 4.5 percent did between ages 21 and 23, which means that more than half of all the girls were likely virgins for at least part of their freshman year, if not longer.

These stats may seem wild when you consider the hot-and-heavy hook-up scene at your own college, but it turns out experts have come across similar findings. Kathleen Bogle, Ph.D., author of Hooking Up: Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus, says, “What [college students] do not realize is that approximately 25 percent of college students in the United States are virgins. And, even for those who have had sex, the most common number of sexual partners to have had in the past year is one.”

So though there are plenty of ladies who do sleep with different people on the reg, they actually aren’t in the majority. With these facts in mind, we can’t help but feel a little frustrated with Hollywood for leading us so astray in our understanding of virginity.

The Reactions

Since it seems like so many collegiettes are holding onto their V-cards for their first forays onto campus freshman year—or longer—we had to ask: exactly what do guys think of virginity? We asked real college guys to share their opinions:

“I can respect the fact that they’ve waited so long because I’m sure they’ve been tempted. I don’t know if I’ve ever hooked up with a virgin, but I don’t think it’d be a complete game changer. I’d rather someone to be a little experienced, but I wouldn’t mind showing them the ropes. I would much rather her tell me beforehand than to go into it and find out that she was a virgin. It wouldn’t be a make-or-break [thing]. If you’re a virgin, don’t be too scared to put yourself out there or think that you have to have sex.” – Nolan*, a sophomore at Skidmore College

“There’s no problem with being a virgin, it’s just that there’s something sexy about a girl who knows what she’s doing, I guess. But obviously you don’t want a girl who knows too much what she’s doing... she’s been around the block a few times, and that’s just dirty.” – Silas*, a junior at Middlebury College

“If a girl wants to hold onto something important to her, I’m going to respect that. I would definitely date a girl who was a virgin, but I’m not sure if I’d hook up with her randomly. That’s a lot of pressure, to take her virginity.” – Gabe*, a senior at Reed College

“I wouldn’t want to sleep with a virgin because their lack of experience could be a major turnoff at some points. Having to explain to them what to do wouldn’t be something that would get me aroused. It could get messy. Normally they can cling because after the first time they might get an emotional attachment, and that wouldn’t be wanted.” – Stephen*, a senior at Boston University

While it’s great to get guys’ opinions on hook-ups and sexual experience, it doesn’t mean we have to take their preferences on the matter into account when making those decisions for ourselves. What we do with our bodies should depend entirely on what makes us feel comfortable, not on social pressures! Still, it doesn’t hurt to hear what people on the opposite side of the hook-up scene are thinking. With the facts and guys’ opinions in mind, we figured it was time to hear from the silent majority: the virgins themselves. Check out their testimonials below for the truth about virginity in college!

Hear Their Stories: V-Card Carriers Share Their Experiences

Why They’re Virgins

While some girls show up to freshman year with their V-cards in hand because they simply haven’t found the right opportunity to have sex, others have made a conscious decision to abstain from sex until something special comes along—be it a consistent hook-up, love or marriage. Our five collegiettes share their reasons:

“I didn't leave high school with some grand plan of waiting until marriage or remaining a virgin forever. It just happened that the people I was meeting out at parties or even going on dates with weren't the people that I wanted to wake up next to in the long run.” – Rachel*, a senior at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

“I didn't realize I was choosing to be abstinent until I was in a situation where I had to choose whether to go further or stay put with a guy [mid-hook-up freshman year]. He actually asked me when I told him that I didn't want to go any further, ‘So, why don't you want to do anything else?’ That was a question I had never encountered before. In that moment I realized that hooking up actually meant something to me, even if it didn't mean anything to the guy I was hooking up with. And until it meant as much to him as it did to me, I wasn't going to go any further than making out.” – Sasha*, a sophomore at the University of Missouri – Columbia.

“I was a virgin because I'd never had the opportunity to have sex before. I was embarrassed about that, but it happens to a LOT of people.” – Caroline*, a sophomore at Northwestern University.

“I think because I had an older brother in a frat and heard about his experiences, the whole casual sex thing didn’t sound super appealing to me. I really didn’t have the opportunity in high school, and I didn’t have any serious relationships prior to college. I think I maybe looked forward to coming to college to hopefully have something serious for the first time, but nothing happened. I wasn’t like, ‘Yes, I’m going to be a virgin the whole time.’ Ideally, I was waiting for someone I was in love with.” – Layla*, a senior at a liberal arts school in the Northeast.

How They Feel About Their Virginity

So, since these collegiettes have found themselves surrounded by the hook-up scene, has it changed the way they see their sexual experience? Most say it’s a bit of a struggle, but that it doesn’t define them.

“I lost my virginity at the end of my sophomore year, so I was a virgin for a good two years of college! I definitely was self-conscious about it because my two best friends were both having sex on a pretty regular basis.  But then I had sex, and those two years spent as a virgin didn't seem like a big deal anymore.” – Caroline

“I've met a lot of people who see being a virgin as a bad thing, as something to get rid of so they can be like ‘everybody else’ and enjoy casually hooking up. But I've never been ashamed of being a virgin. In some situations, I'm hesitant to admit this because I feel like some people will see me as a prude or overly innocent because of it. But I'm not. I just don't want to waste something that I see as special on some random guy who may not even remember my name the next morning.” – Sasha

“It feels like a burden sometimes, or like something I need to get rid of before it hinders me more. You don't want to have to explain how you're 40 and it's your first time (unless you're Steve Carrell and can pull it off). On bad days, I feel like the longer I cling to my virginity, the harder it will be to get rid of it. But overall, it's really not like that. It's not an identifier. I'm not ‘the virgin’ in my friend group; I have other things that make me who I am.” – Rachel

“I valued [my virginity]. I didn’t want to dumb down the experience [of sex] at all. I was fine if it wasn’t going to be the guy I was going to marry, but ideally [I] wanted to be in a relationship or have a connection where strong feelings were involved. It’s been a struggle, I’m not going to lie.” – Layla

How Others React to Their Virginity

As awesome as it is for a collegiette to feel comfortable in her skin and with her own decisions, the sad fact is that peer pressure can really affect the way you see your sexuality and experience. Since Hollywood makes it seem like virginity is such a social no-no, we asked these real-life ladies to share how others—love interests and friends—react to their V-card-carrying status. We already know that guys have differing opinions about your un-popped cherry, so do those reactions make collegiettes question their virginity? Luckily, it turns out that social pressure isn’t strong enough to shake their confidence! Hear what the ladies have to say:

“Most of the guys I've been with have been surprised for whatever reason to find out that I'm a virgin. It's like they've found some sort of rare flower or something. And that's usually the way my friends in college have reacted to my V-status. I went to an all-girl, private, Catholic high school where 80 percent of the girls in my class were virgins. So it wasn't a weird thing to me to come into college without any ‘experience’ under my belt. It wasn't until I came to college–a large, public university–that I was seen as some sort of entertaining anomaly.” – Sasha

“Sometimes it weirds guys out, but overall, it's not something I flaunt or feel the need to discuss with people; I'd rather talk about my latest Netflix addiction. If we have to have ‘the talk,’ I mention that I want to feel comfortable and respected, and that ultimately it's my decision.” – Rachel

“I'm a sophomore and I'm still a virgin. When I graduated high school, I was one of the only virgins among a lot of my close friends. But once I got to college, I was actually surprised at how many other people I met who were also still virgins and even said they were waiting until marriage. It hasn't really been difficult for me as far as dealing with guys; my friends usually have more to say about it than guys do.” – Jamie*, a sophomore at the University of Georgia

“The problem I’ve had is guys I’ve hooked up with really want to do it so they almost want to set a deadline and wait for it to happen; there’s a pressure there. I feel like guys build it up, like they have to do so much more work [to earn you] than what really needs to be done, [so they walk away]. We just need a little bit of emotional satisfaction and we’re on our way, but they don’t even want to give that. Then why should we give? I feel like I haven’t gotten a guy willing to put enough of the work in.” – Layla

What it Was Like to Lose it (if They Did)

While three of the five collegiettes we interviewed haven’t had sex at all, two others were virgins when they arrived at college but lost their virginities later. Both of them say they’re happy about their decisions to go all the way. Since there are so many myths floating around about what it’s like to lose your virginity, we wanted to share their real experiences. Check out what they have to say:

“When I did have sex (with a guy who was also a virgin), it was great. We went for it two weeks into our relationship, right before I went abroad for six months. I trusted him and wanted to do it. While I would say that wanting to ‘get it over with’ played a small part in my decision, I also really liked this guy, was extremely physically attracted to him and felt safe with him. Some of my friends weren't happy with my decision, but I wanted to do it and [I] didn't regret it (which is the only thing that matters!).” – Caroline

“Deep down, I know that the feelings were there, and that’s all that matters to me. I wouldn’t take that back. There was time involved; there were mutual feelings involved. I wasn’t just a one-night stand. I’m so happy I waited [as long as I did]. For the next time I have sex, I want to be in a relationship for sure.” – Layla

Advice They Have for Fellow Virgins

If after reading all this you’re still worried about having your V-card, these collegiettes say to let your anxieties go and enjoy it!

“I would tell girls who are still virgins to remember that it will happen. You're not the only one, it doesn't make you weird and you should decide when to have sex on your own terms. Don’t worry about it! Sex is a very personal thing, so make the decisions that feel right for you – and that might mean deciding not to have sex, even if you have the chance.” – Caroline

“Don't sweat it. It's seriously not as big of a deal as you may think. A good partner will respect your choices and whatever reasons you have for making those choices. Just because you're a virgin doesn't mean you'll end up as a spinster in a bonnet.” – Sasha

“There’s absolutely no need to rush. Honestly, I don’t think I sold myself short, but I think I would wait until you’re dating someone or in some sort of long-term thing. Something where you know that the feelings are mutual, ideally. Guys will get the picture. You have to make it known because guys automatically infer [that you’re willing to have sex] if you go home with them, which isn’t always the case, and I’ve definitely learned the hard way.” – Layla

“If you're worried about remaining a virgin, seriously—it’s not a big deal. It's not something that comes up in everyday conversation, and if it's a huge, insurmountable turnoff for someone, they're probably not the people that you want to have your first time with anyway.”  – Rachel

How you feel about your own sexual experience depends on so many factors: your morals, your beliefs, your past experiences, the people you surround yourself with and your feelings about sex in general. Still, it’s nice to know that whatever you decide to do—and whatever your level of experience—you’re far from alone!

*Names have been changed.

Whether you’ve just started dating a new guy or you’re attempting to snag a campus cutie, you’ve probably done a couple of crazy things to keep him interested. Texting him cute messages and offering him little compliments here and there are nice gestures, but how can you demonstrate to your guy just how head-over-heels, gaga in love you are?

Here are just a few ways to make sure your guy knows how crazy you are for him (and, consequently, just how crazy you are).

1. Favorite every tweet he's posted since 2011.

2. Talk about which features of his you’d like your future kids to inherit.

3. Send his parents friend requests on Facebook.

4. Use FACEinHOLE.com to put pictures of the two of you on the bodies of various celebrity couples.

5. Attend all his intramural basketball games as the unofficial team cheerleader.

6. Change your name in his phone to “My One and Only.”

7. Send him a Snapchat every morning when you wake up so it’s like he’s waking up next to you.

8. Get a T-shirt screen-printed with his face on it.

9. Memorize his schedule so you’ll always be waiting for him outside of his classes.

10. Accompany him to the gym so you can cheer him on as he lifts weights.

11. Bring him homemade soup in bed when you see him post on Facebook that he caught a cold.

12. Send him text messages with winking emojis throughout the day.

13. Give him a framed photo of yourself to put on his bedside table.

14. Spray your signature scent all over his sheets.

15. Memorize the lyrics to his favorite songs and serenade him whenever you get a chance.

16. Endorse every skill he has listed on LinkedIn.

17. Instagram a picture of every “first” the two of you have together (e.g. first movie together, first ski trip together, first Chipotle burrito together, etc.).

18. Sit with his friends whenever you see them in the dining hall and keep turning the conversation back to how great he is.

19. Put on a magic show where you handcuff the two of you together and “accidentally” misplace the key.

20. Change his computer background to a picture of the two of you.

21. Download a tracking device onto his cell phone so that you can always find out where he is.

22. Give him a sweater with a heart sewn inside one of the arms so he can always wear your heart on his sleeve.

23. Ask him what he wants for Christmas… next year.

24. Show him apartments that the two of you could move into together after graduation.

25. “Like” every photo he appears in on Facebook with another girl and ask him who they are later.

26. Leave an extra toothbrush in his dorm room.

27. Buy him season tickets for all of his favorite sports teams.

28. Put him down as your emergency contact on medical forms.

29. Steal one of his hoodies and wear it for weeks straight without washing it because “it smells like him.”

30. Get his initials tattooed on your wrist.

31. Make up a nickname for the two of you by combining your first names and insist that everyone refers to you by it.

32. Take random candid photos of him when he isn’t paying attention.

33. Hunt him down whenever you know he’s in the library so that you can bring him a coffee.

34. Tweet quotes of every funny thing he says.

35. Verbally assault any girl who looks at him for too long.

36. Volunteer to do his laundry for him.

37. Break into his dorm room and cook him smiley-face pancakes for breakfast.

38. Tell the waiter to bring you one drink with two straws when you go out to dinner.

39. Make a copy of the key to his dorm room while he’s in class.

40. Cut off a lock of his hair when he’s sleeping so you can keep it with you.

41. Call him daily and describe every dream you have about him.

42. Post every link that reminds you of him to his Facebook wall.

43. Change your schedule so you have all your classes together.

44. Buy him a one-way plane ticket so he can come visit you for an extended stay this summer.

45. Sign the two of you up for premarital counseling.  

46. Tag along on guys’ nights and refer to yourself as “The Honorary Bro.”

47. Leave him voicemails of the free-verse poetry you wrote for him in class on his phone.

48. Find a way to hold his hand whenever he’s close enough for you to reach it.

49. Make him a mannequin with your exact measurements so that you can always lie beside him in bed, even when you’re not there.

50. Hang a banner in the quad proclaiming your undying affection for him so everyone can know.

Sure, he may be a little overwhelmed by all this affection, but you wouldn’t want him to doubt your love, would you? (Just don’t be too surprised when he starts to doubt your sanity instead.)

We all need a little guidance now and then, so whether you’re stressed about a fling gone wrong, a recently wrecked relationship or how to handle a stage-five clinger, Real Live College Guy Dale is here to help you navigate the college dating scene.

I'm interested in a guy who's really shy. Last weekend, his friends set him up with me because he can have a hard time meeting girls and they thought we would get along… and we did! We had a great conversation, and by the end of the night (and, admittedly, a few drinks later), he was holding my hand, walking me back to my dorm. When we got there, he stayed for a good three hours just talking as we got to know each other (it didn't get physical). Since then, he's told me he wants to see me again, but I've been initiating all the contact. His friends tell me he likes me and keep encouraging us to hang out, but he hasn't made any bold moves. What can I do to pull him out of his shell? —Help Me at Hamilton

Hamilton,

He doesn’t need to make a bold move to show his interest in you.

In my opinion, we’ve been conditioned to think that we need to offer up some grand gesture to prove our interest in another person. Standing outside with a stereo, knocking on her door in the middle of a downpour or singing “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’” to her in a crowded bar… See what I mean? Pop culture has led us to believe that grand gestures are required.

Fun fact: They’re not.

The man has already shown his interest by holding your hand and walking you to your dorm. He’s also shown interest by talking to you for three hours to get to know you better. The dude is definitely into you. As for his not making any bold moves and getting him to come out of his shell, I maintain the theory that it shouldn’t always be the man’s job to make a bold move. Some people suffer from crippling anxiety (a few drinks may have quelled this anxiety) and can’t bring themselves to make a move. This guy in question could be one of them. He might even have a good reason to be afraid of taking that step that goes beyond everyday anxieties—he might have had his heart broken in the past.

I’ll tell you what would pull him out of his shell: Next time you hang out, kiss him. Sometimes, that’s all it takes—a little jumpstart. When he knows for sure that you’re interested, I think he’ll be a little more active. Like I said, some guys are just insanely nervous. I know I used to be. Hang out, set the atmosphere (nothing super romantic or anything, but a casual environment is nice), and go in for the kiss when you feel the moment is right.

On the off chance that he doesn’t reciprocate, play it cool. It might sting, but try to understand that maybe he wasn’t interested in the same thing. It happens to all of us—I can recall at least three times where a kiss or almost-kiss (from me or to me) went unreciprocated, and we were able to laugh it off and remain friends. Sometimes feelings get misunderstood and, because we’re adults, we should be able to understand that.

That being said, I don’t think you’ll find yourself in those shoes. Give the guy a break and try to see things from a different angle. I’m sure he’s interested, and I think you’re in a perfect position to bring him out of his shell with a little, er, “physical motivation.”

Playing the cat-and-mouse dating game can be exhausting. Whether you’ve just met a guy you like, you’ve been casually dating someone new or you can’t get over your ex, figuring out how to act is anything but easy. When you really like someone, you feel the constant urge to talk to him, text him and see him. Most of the time, you know to ask yourself and your girlfriends if you’re being too needy before hitting “send” on a text, but other times you just can’t resist—and your guy goes MIA. So how do you draw the line between acting flirty and outright desperate? We asked real college guys for the five-stage clinger behaviors that have them running for the hills as well as dating experts for how to resist those urges.

 1. You text him constantly

If you both have been texting each other, it’s okay to initiate a conversation. It’s probably even acceptable to double-text him—occasionally—because we all know how nerve-racking it is to wait for a guy’s response. But according to Jodi R. R. Smith, president and owner of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting, if you’re texting him every 10 minutes or fewer and he isn’t responding, you’ve fallen deep into the clingy zone.

If he doesn’t answer at all, needless to say it’s probably time for you to move on. Similarly, if his answers are typically one-worded, with little to no punctuation, chances are he is not playing mind games. He’s simply not interested, and he’s maintaining the minimum level of politeness.

Chris*, a freshman at the University of California, Los Angeles, once had what he thought was a casual hook-up with a girl, Anna*, who then got attached. She texts him “an unnecessarily large amount of times about pointless, mostly petty things,” such as mutual acquaintances or her homework. Chris usually answers along the lines of “yeah,” “cool” or “lol haha nice.” He says this is his way of telling her he isn’t interested without being blatantly rude. If you receive this kind of message, take the hint and put an end to the conversation (or lack thereof). You deserve better, anyway.

Try to space out your texts and make sure you have a valid excuse to message him, or he might get put off and stop answering. And on that note...

 2. You get nervous when he doesn’t respond

Worse, “if you get sweaty and nervous when [he doesn’t] answer,” you might want to revaluate how attached you are to this guy, Smith warns.

Christine Hart, a dating coach based in Toronto, explains that “generally, being clingy and being insecure go hand in hand.” Instead of focusing on this uncertain relationship, focus on yourself and your hobbies. Hart’s best advice is to “develop your own schedule and your own interests. Not in a way that excludes men in your life completely and makes them feel like an ‘add-on,’ but more in a way that you are committed to your own growth.”

Join clubs and organizations, develop your passions, work out, volunteer and just generally take advantage of all the opportunities a college campus has to offer. Find what you love, because if you’re happy with who you are, it will “bring more balance to your relationships,” Hart adds. So don’t fret if a guy isn’t answering, because either he’s busy, or he clearly doesn’t know what he’s missing.

 3. You follow him around

Following a guy around is pretty much the definition of clingy behavior. Ryan*, a sophomore at UCLA, once met a girl at a resort where it was always possible to find each other. This girl took advantage of the situation. “I would be hanging out with my friends and she would appear,” he says. “It got really annoying.”

In Ryan’s case, this girl’s behavior was harmless, but beware of crossing into stalker territory. Smith has seen many extreme examples in her years of consulting, such as girls waiting outside guys’ lectures, registering for classes based on the classes a guy was taking or simply finding every excuse to hug or touch him. “Don’t eliminate the thrill of the chase,” Smith advises.

There are plenty of ways to show a guy you’re interested without suffocating him in the process. In a party setting, for instance, you could look at him, make flirty eye contact and then look away. See if he’ll come towards you! “Move, but not necessarily towards them—perhaps towards your girlfriends,” Smith says.

You don’t have to use a pushy approach with a shy guy either. Bernardo Mendez, a relationship coach for women, explains that the girl usually makes the first move anyway, using subtle body language. If you look kind and open, interested but not desperate, even a shy guy will naturally feel drawn to you. Make sure he has space to approach you: for example, you could stand by your girlfriend’s side rather than be surrounded by half a dozen of your besties.

4. You overanalyze his social media activity

Facebook stalking someone you like is normal, unless you’re doing it far too often. “When I see that a guy has read a message I've sent and they don’t respond right away or I don’t see the ‘typing’ sign, I immediately analyze every detail of what I said,” says Charlotte*, a junior at UCLA.

Sound familiar? Let’s face it, we’ve all found ourselves over-analyzing a guy’s social media activity. But try to minimize how often you do it, because it could mean you’re too desperate.

“Sometimes I'll check their page to see if they’ve had any activity after they read my message and to see if they’re responding to other people,” Charlotte adds. This becomes a problem if you get so stuck worrying about their life that you can’t get on with your own.

Beware of excessive liking or commenting as well. Jenna*, a junior at UCLA, is well aware of this: “I tend to not like guys’ posts more than once because I’m scared it will come off as clingy and annoying, unless they like all of mine.”

If cyber-stalking its compromising your independence and making you anxious, you’ve gone too far.

5. You don’t trust him

If you need to know what your guy is doing every second or you insist that he joins you everywhere you go, these are red flags. Evan*, a freshman at UCLA, once went out with a girl who “would freak out if I was with friends and went five minutes without texting her with a reason as to why I didn't text her.”

Although this is an extreme example, her behavior was most likely due to a far more common insecurity. Mendez explains that “the basis around clinginess is the fear of not being loved and not being enough.” You might feel that being clingy will forge a stronger connection between you and your guy, but it could actually have the opposite effect. Mendez advises you “be patient and wait for him to meet you halfway.” Building attachment takes time—don’t try to force it!

Jealousy is another sign that you don’t trust your guy enough. It also puts you at risk of acting clingy, like Evan’s girlfriend, who “was convinced that all of her friends had crushes on me, so I wasn't allowed to talk to or hang out with them.” She was so insecure that she tried to control him, and this should never happen in a healthy relationship.

6. You’re too accommodating

For Smith, one of the most foolproof signs of neediness is being “constantly at their beck and call.” This is especially destructive because some guys might even use your insecurity to manipulate you. “Be a woman of mystery,” she advises. Don’t always feel like you have to call him back immediately. If he asks to hang out on a night when you have plans with your girlfriends, don’t ditch them for the guy!

Likewise, if you’re “always worried about making plans with friends and family because the guy in your life might ask you to hang out,” this is not only a telling sign that you’re too needy, but it’s “insulting to friends and family” as well, Hart says.

Agreeing with everything he says, giving him little gifts and cards for no reason or simply being too nice to him when he doesn’t treat you as nicely are just some of the signs that you’re trying too hard, according to our experts. “It makes a guy undervalue you, and it leads to a vicious cycle,” Mendez warns. “Clinginess is a question of value. If you value yourself, he will do whatever it takes to get you. If you’re initiating everything, he won’t want to.”

Always remember your worth, and don’t stay with a guy who doesn’t appreciate you for it.

 7. You’re moving too fast

If you’ve only just started seeing a guy, there are a few steps in your budding relationship that you absolutely should not skip. “Being clingy is about putting more pressure on the relationship than is appropriate,” says Mendez. If you’re referring to him as your boyfriend and introducing him to your family after a few weeks, or, worse yet, a few days of dating, you are moving too fast.

Talking about your future too early is equally as destructive. Even talking about the near future can be a no-no. Nick*, a sophomore at UCLA, asked a girl out a while back. During their first date, she started asking him where they would go on the next date. “She came on way too strong; it was really weird,” Nick says. “She texted me in the morning the next day and I was freaked out—stage-five clinger! It was a red flag, so I just ignored her text, which I kind of feel bad about, and we haven’t talked since.”

Although Nick’s attitude wasn’t exactly considerate, it’s actually pretty typical. Smith explains that a guy’s first reaction to clingy behavior is to disengage and avoid it. Only if you continue will a guy resort to being brutally honest. Pace yourself! Make sure you and your new guy are on the same page before trying to define the relationship as something it’s not.

If you’re guilty of any of these dating faux pas, “guys will just be so annoyed by it that you will end up being the clingy girl who gets clingier and clingier until you two break up (no fun and totally embarrassing),” Hart cautions. Clingy behavior is not exactly attractive, yet we all give into it from time to time. Hopefully these dating experts provided you with valuable insight and skills to avoid coming off as needy. Guys should be fighting to get you, not the other way round!

*Names have been changed.

When it comes to our love lives, our friends are our biggest supporters. They celebrate with us when we rock a first date, cry with us when a guy breaks our heart and take our side when the guy we like acts like a total jerk.

That’s why we don’t expect our friends––our biggest cheerleaders––to be the ones getting in the way of us finding that perfect guy. If your dating life is currently lackluster and loveless, your girlfriends just might be the culprits! Here are three ways that your friends may be ruining your chances at a relationship. 

The Problem: You Always Go Out as a Big Group

After a long week of tests and homework, letting off some steam at a bar or a party with all your girlfriends is exactly what you need. The problem is that when you hit up the local bar with all 12 of your best female friends, you may be sending off a signal to suitable suitors that you’re not really interested in fraternizing with any member of the opposite sex.

When you’re clumped together in a giant group of girls, not only will it be harder for you to stand out, but guys may be super intimidated to come up and talk to you!

“If I see a cute girl at a bar or a party that I want to talk to but she’s in a big group of her friends, I’m always more hesitant to approach her,” says Brian, a junior at the University of Washington. “Getting up the nerve to go up and talk to a girl in general is hard enough, but when she’s surrounded by all her friends, it’s so much more intimidating. I don’t want her friends to make fun of me or possibly watch me get rejected.”

Your friends can often create an impenetrable force field around you that wards off any potential hottie who might be interested in talking to you. While it’s always fun to go out with all your girlfriends, it might deter those less-outgoing guys from approaching you.

How to Fix It

Whether you and your friends are grouped together on the dance floor or gossiping at a table on the side, you should definitely make an effort to break away from your friends for a little bit and do your own thing if you want to meet someone. When you separate yourself from your giant group of girlfriends, guys will be much less intimidated by the prospect of talking to you.

Try taking a solo trip to the dance floor instead of having five friends tag along with you, or sneak away to the bar to order yourself a drink. When you separate yourself from the group, you’ll give guys the go-ahead to come up and talk to you without all those intimidating girlfriends to hold him back.

“I’d definitely say I’m more likely to go up and talk to a girl if she’s by herself or with just one or two friends,” Brian says. “When she’s not in a huge group, there’s less at stake and it’s not as nerve-wracking.”

The Problem: All Your Friends Are Single

Sometimes when you find yourself in a group of solely single friends, you all adopt this “we’re all in this together” kind of mentality. If one of you is single, you’re all single, and you’re sticking together through this serious dating dry spell!

“My group of friends and I are all single right now, and we’re definitely wallowing in our own self-pity,” says Natalie, a sophomore at Seattle University. “We go to parties and bars, but we always end up just coming back to our dorms and putting in a movie or making cookies. We’re kind of stuck in a rut! None of us are making much of an effort to meet guys.”

Being in a group of single friends can lead to countless “girls’ night in” Fridays where you order (and eat) unimaginable amounts of pizza, watch endless rom-coms and complain about how much boys totally suck. It’s easy to channel your inner feminist and join in on the boy bashing whenever you’re surrounded by a bunch of like-minded females, but in the long run, it’s doing nothing for your love life.

Even if you and your friends aren’t stuck in a boy-hating rut, being surrounded by all your single girl friends at a party can bring a little bit of competition into the mix. When you and your friend are both single and on the hunt for a cute dude, you might find yourselves locked in a heated battle for the attention of the same guy.

“There’s been a few times where I’ll go to a party with one of my single friends and we’ll both end up talking to the same guy,” Natalie says. “It’s always awkward because I don’t want to hurt our friendship over some random guy we met at a party, so I usually just let her talk to him and move on.”

How to Fix It

You don’t always need to turn to your single friends whenever you want to go out and scope out a few parties or bars. Your friends with boyfriends can be just as fun to hit the town with, and they can even help you snag a hottie wherever you are! Friends with boyfriends are the perfect people to go to when you’re in serious need of a wingwoman because they definitely won’t be competing for his attention and they won’t feel any pressure to impress any guys wherever you two venture off to.

Of course, you never want to be that girl who ditches all her single friends, so it’s important to incorporate them, too. Having a good mixture of single friends and taken friends when you go out could be the key to fixing this friend-related love problem!

And if all else fails, have your taken friend set you up with the hot guy who lives in her boyfriend’s dorm or a total cutie on his soccer team. Friends’ boyfriends are the ultimate resource when it comes to finding yourself a guy.

The Problem: You Let Your Friends’ Opinions Get to You

Our friends are our friends for a reason: we trust them to always tell us the truth and value their opinions on everything from our outfits to our taste in music. That’s why whenever we start talking to a new guy we always go to our girls for their sage wisdom and overall opinions of him.

“I always keep my friends updated on what guy I’m into at the moment,” says Bailey, a sophomore at Gonzaga University. “If I’ve been texting with a guy or hanging out with him, I definitely ask my friends for their opinion. Sometimes I think I trust them to make decisions for me more than I trust myself!”

All too often we’re swayed by the opinions of our friends. You’ll be totally into a guy until your friend points out one fatal flaw that you were paying no attention to. If you didn’t notice that he posts way too many emotional subtweets before, your best friend will definitely point it out for you!

“I’ve definitely changed by opinion of a guy based on something one of my friends has said,” Bailey says. “When your friends don’t approve of a guy you like, sometimes that makes you rethink everything.”

After consulting with a friend over a guy you’re super into, you may question everything and take a second look at the guy you’ve been flirt-texting with for the past week. While sometimes your friend’s advice if totally valid, that doesn’t mean that they’re always pointing you in the right direction.

How to Fix It

Our friends will always give us their two cents in these kinds of situations. After all, they do have our best interests at heart and are just trying to look out for us. However, you may want to take their opinions and advice with a grain of salt. It’s important to follow your heart, and you shouldn’t let a small negative that your friend brought up out weigh out a whole lot of positives.

If he really isn’t worth your time, then you’ll figure it out. It’s important to take your friends’ opinions into consideration, but when it comes to the cute guy you’ve been hanging out with, only you know how well you guys mesh together.

If your friend makes a comment about his messy hair or his obsession with his Xbox, you might not want to take her criticisms too seriously. If she mentions that he’s treating you badly or he’s just not a nice guy in general, that’s when you should really take a moment to listen!

We love our friends to death and would be lost without them, but sometimes they can put a serious strain on our love lives. While we can lean on our friends for most of our troubles, make sure they’re not causing you any when it comes to your love life!

We get it: You’re in college and you want to have a good time, but you also like the feeling of being in a relationship. These two things don’t have to be mutually exclusive! Sometimes, a relationship that’s fun can also be truly fulfilling – even if you don’t see it having long-term potential.

Being with a person who’s good for you right now (but not down the road) can be great, but it can also be a slippery slope. So how do you know if it’s time to break things off? We talked to experts and collegiettes to help you figure out if you should stay with your short-term SO for now.

You should stay together if…

You feel happy and fulfilled

So what if you’re not looking to settle down right now? We’ve said it before: A big part of college is having a good time! If that’s what you’re getting out of your current relationship, then there really is no reason to break up.

“The bottom line is that if this woman is enjoying the relationship and it enhances her life, it's okay to stay together as long as both people in the relationship feel happy and fulfilled,” says Andrea Syrtash, a relationship expert and author of It's Okay to Sleep with Him on the First Date: And Every Other Rule of Dating, Debunked.“A relationship that's fun, fulfilling and has mutual respect is never a waste of time, as far as I'm concerned. Even if you know for a fact you have no interest in something long-term, it's fun to have companionship and a partner to go through school with.”

This is exactly how Zoey*, a junior at Boston University, feels about her current relationship. “This guy and I have been together for pretty much all of my college career,” Zoey says. “Initially I thought it had long-term potential, but the more time went on, the more I realized it probably wouldn't work out. I don't see myself staying in one state and I don't see us being the type to have a long-distance relationship, so I know it's going to have to end eventually.”

Although Zoey sometimes questions the relationship, it just makes sense for her and her SO right now. “I do contemplate all the time, ‘What's the point in staying together if we don't have longevity?’” Zoey says. “But then I think, ‘Why do we have to break up?’ We don't have any major conflicts, we're happy with each other. So it's fun for now.”

You’re learning about yourself

To carry on with the clichés, college is not just about having fun; it’s also about understanding who you are. One of the best things about being in a fulfilling relationship that you don’t necessarily see having a future is that you get to learn things about yourself and about what you want in a significant other.

“Each relationship teaches us something not only about ourselves, but [also] about what we want in relationships ahead,” Syrtash says. “'College is an exciting time, sometimes full of more questions than answers - and I'm a fan of using the time to explore your wants and needs.”

Part of learning about yourself often involves sexual exploration, which is one of the biggest advantages of being in a short-term partnership. “A woman gets to explore sex and her sexuality within a fun, safe relationship,” says Neely Steinberg, a professional dating coach. Why would you want to miss out on that, if everything is running smoothly anyway?

You enjoy the independence

If you’re keeping your relationship light, it can allow you to do more of your own thing, and this is another great way to discover who you want to be. If you and your SO aren’t too committed to each other, you might gain “the ability to focus in on career or academics and figure out who you are on your own and what direction you want go in life without necessarily being tethered to someone else,” Steinberg says. This means your partner isn’t holding you back, and you’re not worrying about an uncertain relationship in your life; you’re just doing you.

You should break up if…

You feel ready to move on

It might seem obvious, but if the relationship doesn’t feel right anymore, it’s time to break things off. Trust your instincts! Only you can know if it’s working out or not. “Ultimately, the decision to end it should come from [your] feeling of wanting to end it - not because [you] ‘should,’” Syrtash says. “When it comes to love and relationships, these timelines are arbitrary and often based on other people's ideas of what is right or appropriate.”

Steinberg agrees that “there is no right time, per se.” Once again, you should simply be honest with yourself and break up “when [you’re] feeling ready to move on, or the ‘relationship’ stops [being] fun/healthy,” she says.

Although dating is always complicated, sometimes it’s just clearly not working. This is what Barbara*, a recent graduate from St. John’s University, eventually had to admit to herself about herself and her long-distance boyfriend. “The relationship was ultimately not making me happy,” Barbara says. “My ex-boyfriend was exactly like me, personality-wise: stressed, anxious, insecure, uptight, and I thought that it would help in the long run emotionally, but it ended up stressing me out even more, instead of bringing the kind of ease and peace that a healthy relationship is supposed to have.”

One of you wants more out of the relationship

Just like in friends with benefits situations, the concept of staying in a relationship with no foreseeable future can lead you down a slippery slope, where either you or your SO starts to want more commitment. This is why it’s so important to communicate with your partner! “My only caveat [to staying together] is if the woman involved secretly wants marriage soon after she graduates or if her partner is looking for something long-term and she really doesn't see it in her future,” Syrtash says. “In this case, it's worth having a conversation to ensure both people involved are on the same page.”

If your SO wants more than you’re willing to give, it’s definitely “best to not lead someone on for your own selfish purposes and to break it off.” Steinberg warns.

Barbara realized after a few months that she wasn’t as committed to her boyfriend as he wanted her to be. “One big sign was that if I went one day without talking to him via text or phone call, I wasn't distressed over it or had any kind of [desire] to get back to him right away,” Barbara says. “When he confronted me about the lack of communication and asked to talk about it, I wasn't interested in resolving it.” One condition of being in a light relationship is to make sure that neither person involved wants anything serious – keep checking that you’re both on the same page, and if not, cut your losses!

You feel like you’re missing out

As much as you can learn from a short-lived college relationship, you can gain a lot from more meaningful relationships, even if they eventually end. According to Steinberg, you could be “missing out on what true intimacy and partnership are all about. Experiencing a really loving, emotional commitment to someone else in college is a great training ground. It can help you grow and evolve as a whole human being, help develop other aspects of you that are necessary when you are in a committed partnership, and prepare you for what long-term commitment is all about.”

Of course, a lighter relationship can be wonderful if that’s really what you want, but if you feel like you could get more from being more emotionally involved with someone (whether it’s your current SO or someone else), you might want to explore that aspect as well.

College is a time for experimentation, especially when it comes to dating and sexuality. If you don’t want to be too committed to someone right now, being in a fun, light-hearted relationship could be exactly what you need. Whatever choice you make, just make sure you’re making it for the right reasons!

So, all of your friends are taken… but you’re single.

Not that you’re not happy for them. Really, you are.

Totally not bitter at all.

But you can’t help but notice how things have changed now that you’re the only one in your group flying solo.

Girls’ nights out used to be a blast.

But now your friends are like,

And you find yourself having to convince your friends that it’s still okay to get a little wild.

You never have a proper wingwoman anymore, and your solo flirting attempts are just tragic.

And forget having anyone to dance with on the nights they bring their SOs out.

Your girl talk just isn’t as good as it used to be…

…because, let’s be real, it’s a lot less fun to listen to your friend drool over her boyfriend than it was to drool over someone else together.

In fact, you’re so starved for girl talk that you start wondering if you’re too boy crazy.

You try to whine about your single-girl problems, like,

But you don’t get very far without your friends acting like relationship gurus…

…or drawing on personal examples from their own relationships, to which you just want to be like,

There are nights when your friends don’t return your texts because it’s date night.

And when you’re not sure if it’s date night or not, you always wind up feeling needy when you text them just for something to do.

And you start thinking that you seriously need to make some new single friends for nights like this.

When you do finally steal them away from their SOs long enough for a chat, they always ask you if there’s anything new going on in your love life…

…usually as a segue into talking about their own.

But okay, okay; you don’t want to sound bitter. Luckily, a lot of your friends have really cool SOs!

Sometimes, though, third-wheeling is kind of a drag…

…especially if it feels like the SOs are always around…

…and the couples are always making out in front of you.

In all honesty, though, you have to admit that being single isn’t so bad…

…even if you have nights where you’re like,

You mostly just wish you had single friends who were on the same page as you.

You know, for solidarity.

But hey, maybe your BFF’s new boyfriend has a hot BFF to introduce you to?

Who said Halloween wasn’t a romantic holiday? Not only can you dress up in cute matching costumes with your SO, but you have someone who will cover your eyes and who you can grab on to during the gory scenes of scary movies. Horror films are one of the best ways to get your adrenaline pumping for a fun date during Halloween season, whether it’s with your long-term squeeze or a new cutie you’ve been seeing. While going for a walk to see the leaves changing is a nice way of hanging out, every couple needs a break from the typical fall dates—and what better way to break the lull than with popcorn and a blood-curdling thriller?

So kick off the spooky festivities by cuddling up with your man and watching one of these terrifying movies! Experts even say that engaging in thrilling activities with another person can make your bond stronger. We’ve ordered our movie selections from light-hearted frights to bone-chilling tales that will stick with you long after you’ve turned off the TV—it’s up to you how close you want to get with your guy this Halloween!

1. Warm Bodies

Can’t decide between a horror flick and a rom-com? Warm Bodies takes the best of both worlds by blending a grotesque cast with an irresistibly sweet plotline. In this paranormal Romeo and Juliet adaptation, a zombie boy falls for living girl in the midst of an apocalypse. As their love grows stronger, the boy begins showing more humanlike characteristics (we’ll spare you the beating heart joke), which shed a new light on the war between the living and the dead. So if you and your guy have opposite tastes on the movie spectrum, we’re sure you’ll both find something to love in this hilarious “horror” film. Plus, you can always have a playful argument about who will win the ultimate battle between zombies and humans!

2. A Nightmare on Elm Street

Another classic that takes place in a seemingly peaceful suburban setting, this movie will turn your pleasant dreams into sheer terror. When a murderer with a bladed glove begins haunting people in their sleep, a young girl must prove that a string of deaths are all related to one nighttime killer (before he slashes all of her friends!)

While the plotline will make you sleep with one eye open, keep in mind that this movie was made in the ‘80s. Lindsay Goldstein, a senior at the University of Illinois, says, “The special effects are SO outdated, and it's always great to make fun of how obvious the makeup and fake blood are and laugh together while snuggling up!”

3. Scream

Any installation of this classic thriller is sure to give you a case of goose bumps. The movie features a cast of horror movie mavens that uses their know-how to escape the attacks of a killer by the name of Ghostface (we wonder how long it took them to come up with that…). While the cast makes fun of the conventions in scary movies, they still find themselves falling for the very same tricks.

“I think it [has] just the right amount of scary… that you can talk through the movie and still know what’s going on,” says Asiana Smith, a senior at Le Moyne College. What would you and your guy do if Ghostface was pursuing you? Chat it up and make a game plan as you watch the main characters make not-so-smart decisions.

4. When a Stranger Calls

This 2006 remake of the 1979 film will have you think twice about taking that seemingly harmless part-time babysitting job. When a teenager babysits two children in a large home, she receives strange phone calls from an unidentified number. The police trace the call and tell the babysitter that the calls are coming from inside the house (we think that’s a creepy enough reason for you and your guy to silence your own phones—and that means more attention on each other!). The babysitter soon realizes that her real job description is to keep the kids—and herself—alive and far away from the mysterious caller.

Despite its disturbing premise, this movie can also be an unlikely conversation starter if you’re watching it with a guy you’re getting to know. “I always use this movie to my advantage because I can cuddle up with the guy and reference how much I babysit and love kids,” says Morgan Gibbons, a recent grad of Boston College and the publicity director for HC BC. “Guys usually like to hear that I care about kids… especially if they have younger siblings.”

5. The Cabin in the Woods

If you think all horror films end the same way, you need to watch this movie. The story begins with five adventurous friends who go on holiday in a remote cabin (what could possibly go wrong?). Little do they know that workers in an underground facility are monitoring their every move. By using drugs, the workers begin manipulating the group’s rational thoughts (like sticking together no matter what) to control their fates.

The action pokes fun at the ridiculous scenarios in most horror films and uses a unique approach to keep you guessing at every suspenseful pause. On top of the exciting plot, there are a few sultry scenes (like a tipsy game of truth or dare) that will set the mood for any scary movie date night—just make sure your date doesn’t get jealous when you’re staring at Chris Hemsworth more than him.

6. You’re Next

A family reunion goes awry in this movie when murderers wearing farm animal masks invade the family’s luxurious vacation home. However, the assailants are in for a surprise when one of the sons’ girlfriends has hidden survival skills that could save them all. The retreat turns into a bloody game of cat and mouse as relationships are tested and trust becomes one of the most deadly weapons. This movie is sure to give you an eerie feeling as you’re holding on to your guy, because the most dangerous villains are often closer than you think…(although we’re sure he’s great!)

7. The Conjuring

Set in the 1970s, this movie is about a family who moves into a farmhouse that was previously owned by an accused witch. If that wasn’t bad enough, it turns out the witch killed her own children and then committed suicide. The family starts hearing voices and seeks out the help of a husband and wife who specialize in paranormal investigations. The creepiness escalates, and the couple must perform an exorcism before the family is possessed and history repeats itself. This movie is not for the timid, so make sure you and your guy are ready for the eeriest scenes ever. If you need some motivation to make it through to the end, just know that Patrick Wilson gets a lot of screen time.

Take advantage of the spooky season and indulge your inner child; you can outgrow trick-or-treating, but scary movies are always age-appropriate. Your SO will appreciate the bold suggestion and be more than happy to protect you from those freaky villains (whether you’re really scared or not!). 

The third wheel: Everyone's been there. Whether your friend double-booked or simply invited her SO to your plans without asking, being a third wheel is beyond annoying and one of the most uncomfortable social situations to be in. We've complied a list of the 11 struggles we all unfortunately face while third-wheeling - we're sure you can relate.

1. Your friend has her SO's arm around her shoulder, but your shoulder remains cold and untouched.

2. Looking up during the middle of a story you’re telling to see them completely tuning you out and staring lovingly into each other's eyes.

3. Pitying glances from people around you.

4. Pitying glances from the couple you’re third-wheeling.

5. Pitying glances to yourself in your Snapchat camera.

6. Pretending that you’re too into your text convo to realize that they’re making out.

7. Trying to figure out how to split the bill for dinner - two ways or three ways?

8. Being the only person who gets called by her actual name.

9. Sitting in the backseat and the only view you have is of their interlaced hands on top of the arm rest.

10. Whether you're at the complete opposite end of the sofa or forced to sit alone on the ground, you're always seated a good, awkward few yards away from the happy couple.

11. The only Instagram that will surface that night is a filtered picture of the two of them kissing, which you will be taking (several of).

We all need a little guidance now and then, so whether you’re stressed about a fling gone wrong, a recently wrecked relationship or how to handle a stage-five clinger, Real Live College Guy Dale is here to help you navigate the college dating scene.

I recently found out my boyfriend is active on his Tinder account after we had mutually deleted accounts. He's a pretty busy guy, but lately, I feel like he's using "work" to avoid hanging out and talking. Last night, he said he loved me and that he would call me to say goodnight. I never got a call, but his Tinder profile clearly states when he was active... He chose flipping through Tinder over calling me. I'm afraid he's cheating, but I don't know what to think or do. -Hopeless in Oregon

Oregon,

I’ll keep this short and sweet: If the guy is lying to you about Tinder, he’s probably lying to you about other things. While I’d love to tell you to confront him about it and get the truth, I’m almost certain that he’s just going to lie to you then, too, and you’ll be right back where you started. Of course, you could give him an ultimatum, but I feel like he would probably take you up on that ultimatum (and by that, I mean he would break up with you).

It’s kind of like A + B = C. Here, “A” represents the fact that he still has and is presumably still using Tinder. “B” represents him using “work” as a reason to avoid hanging out or talking. “C,” the result, is him probably hooking up with girls from Tinder while he’s at “work.”

Just a shot in the dark here, but this guy seems like a liar. Maybe he doesn’t like being in a monogamous relationship, but that doesn’t mean you need to suffer for that.

You two were supposed to delete your accounts. He’s avoiding you for some reason, and he’s still active on Tinder (which is virtual hook-up capital).

You want my opinion? Drop him. You’ll find a better replacement in no time, if you even want one. You’ve already given him a chance, and if you feel like you’re being cheated on or out of a fair relationship, then you don’t need to stick around. Show him who’s boss, Oregon. Might I suggest you do so by reactivating your own Tinder account? Just be sure to swipe left.

When going through a dry spell, recovering from a recent breakup or successfully maintaining your perpetually single lifestyle, it can seem like the entire world suddenly cares about your love life. Everyone from long-lost friends from high school to old neighbors and family friends whom you haven’t seen in a while all seem to ask the same dreaded question: “Are you seeing anyone?”

They don’t mean any harm; they’re just trying to ask you about your life. But when you’re so used to hearing this question and so annoyed of saying, “no,” sometimes it’s fun to switch up your responses. Here are 21 different way to respond to those curious minds.

1. “Yes, I’m actually seeing three different people right now… on different continents. I’m really good at multitasking and communicating.”

2. Walk away.

3. Burst into tears and babble hysterically until he or she apologizes: “I thought you knew… he was in the gross anatomy lab… my friend called me asking for my favorite pizza topping… he was with cadavers all day… she never knew I hated pepperoni… and then there was the snake tattoo on his arm…”

4. “I’m going to Rome for a year and I don’t want to be tied down when I’m surrounded by all those Italian men who are just dying to bring me home to their mothers and feed me homemade pasta.”

5. “I’m definitely in a relationship with Barefoot Moscato. Does that count?”

6. “I’m joining a convent. I’m really looking forward to taking that vow of chastity.”

7. “I’m on a boycott. You know, a boy-cott.”

8. “No… but someone proposed to me at a bar last week. Does that count?”

9. “Have you heard of this ‘hook-up culture?’ I think I’m a lifetime member.”

10. “I’m in love with myself. Isn’t that enough?”

11. “Not exactly… I just joined a cult where we don’t believe in any sort of lasting, committed relationships. We just use one another to keep the population populated.”

12. “I see people all the time. I’m seeing you right now!”

13. “Actually, I’ve found paper folding and basket weaving to be a better use of my time. Those are two of my new favorite hobbies, you know, since I’m single.”

14. “Well, I’ve started training my dog for the circus, so that takes up a considerable amount of time.”

15. Pull him or her aside and whisper, “Did my mother tell you to ask me that?!”

16. “Ughhh, I only ever match with weird guys on Tinder!”

17. “I’ll be honest. I am ‘on the prowl,’ but guys just don’t seem to be picking up what I’m putting down.”

18. “Yes, and he’s already got two kids of his own, so you’ll get those grandchildren you’ve been waiting for!”

19. “My dog fulfills my need for companionship. So do my cats… and my guinea pig.”

20. “Have you seen the majority of the male population lately?!”

21. Point to a random guy and say, “Him. We just don’t like to interact in public settings.”

We all need a little guidance now and then, so whether you’re stressed about a fling gone wrong, a recently wrecked relationship or how to handle a stage-five clinger, Real Live College Guy Dale is here to help you navigate the college dating scene.

I saw this guy last semester and immediately thought he was cute. After passing many classes staring at him - and him catching my eye a few times - I finally introduced myself. After that, I never got the chance to really speak to him, as he always came to class at the last minute. This semester, he is in a few of my classes, and I haven't spoken to him, but whenever I would look in his direction I could notice that he would stare. Once, he even turned backwards and looked me straight in the eye during the lecture, when I wasn't even looking at him. So, is it worth it to strike up a conversation with him or would be it be too awkward after the back and forth staring? -Confused at UOttowa

Ottowa,

You go up to him and you re-introduce yourself, and you ask him if he wants to hang out after class. Clearly you two have some sort of strange physical attraction (or he’s obsessed with you, but hey, at least that’s something right?), and you just need to get the ball rolling.

I don’t know what there is to do on your campus, but assuming you ask him out or he eventually asks you out, you’re going to have to find somewhere to go together, right? I wouldn’t suggest coffee (too cliché), but see if he wants to grab lunch sometime. Don’t feign ignorance and ask him for help with studying (unless you really need it, and even then…). Just tell him that you never got the chance to see if he wanted to get together sometime and that you’d definitely like to.

Hey, maybe even poke fun at the fact that you’ve caught him staring at you a few times. Then he might come back with something like, “Nuh-uh, you were staring at me!” Which could be followed up with a cute laugh and a firm denial, with you insisting that he stared first. Boom, now you’re flirting. I would recommend that you wait until after class to hit him up, otherwise if it goes poorly you don’t have to sit in class stewing in your embarrassment.

Is it going to be awkward? Yes, probably. Asking someone out is never not awkward, but sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and jump off the high-dive.

When someone asks you where you and your SO first met, she probably expects the same answer she has heard a million other times: “We lived in the same dorm freshman year,” “We started talking in our psych lecture,” or, “we met at a pair party.”

While these date stories remain cute as ever, not everyone’s first encounter with her SO is that routine! We asked collegiettes to share the weird and unexpected places where they met their SO (past or present) and the story behind it. Some of their answers might just surprise you, - and all of them prove that love is always in the air (even in the laundry rooms)!

1. The drive-thru line

As if you needed another excuse to drive through for coffee and doughnuts before your 9 a.m. lecture, this collegiette’s story proves that you can score a date in the most unexpected of places:

“I had a little thing with a guy who worked at Dunkin’ Donuts,” says Rachel DeFeis, a junior at the University of Delaware. “I would go there every day, and then he started working there, so I saw him a lot. Then one day, he quite literally gave me his phone number in the drive-thru line. It was probably the strangest way I’ve met someone to date.”

You’ll think twice before brushing off the cutie who has your order memorized now, right?!

2. An online chat site

When it comes to online dating, you’ve probably heard your fair share of horror stories. Luckily, a collegiette named Kari’s story proves that there’s hope for meeting someone worthwhile online:

“I actually met my current boyfriend of almost two years on Chatroulette,” says Kari Hively, a junior at Oswego State. “I’m a huge indie music junkie and I was bored over the summer, so I got on Chatroulette to see if I could find anyone with similar music interests to mine. Right before I was about to stop looking, I was linked with a profile that had all of my favorite bands listed in the interests. After talking for a little, we met in person and he didn’t turn out to be a catfisher (thank god!). Even though we’re a long-distance couple now, we’re incredibly happy and see each other often.”

What a relief to hear about a happily ever after in the world of online dating!

3. The bus stop

On a typical day at the bus stop, most collegiettes can be found with headphones in and eyes glued to their phones, avoiding all social interaction. If this sounds like you, you may be missing out on prime opportunities to meet your future SO!

“I met my boyfriend of four years on a rainy day at a shuttle bus stop on campus,” says Malaika Newman, a senior at the York College of Pennsylvania. “Once we sparked up a conversation, we discovered that we both loved the Red Hot Chili Peppers and that we were in the same sociology class! We are still together now, and plan on moving in together after graduating this May.”

So what are you waiting for? Ditch the headphones and strike up a convo with the cutie that you sit by every single day (but are still afraid to talk to). Chances are he or she just may be thinking the same thing!

4. Instagram

Collegiettes are known for over-thinking the smallest of things when it comes to social media (case in point: Instagram ‘likes’ – don’t try to deny it). However, one true story proves that there can be more to that ‘like’ than you think!

“My boyfriend of two years and I met through Instagram,” says Sammi Baum, a senior at the University of Hawaii. “He started following me, liked a couple of my photos, and I did the same. When this happened, I was with my close friends and asked if they knew him, and it turns out they did! We had mutual friends but had never met somehow. We set a day to meet, and have been together since!”

It turns out social media can lead to successful relationships after all! (And we’re not just talking about for the weekend.)

5. Third-wheeling on your friend’s dinner date

There’s nothing worse than being stuck on a dinner date with your BFF and her SO. Luckily, one collegiette’s story proves that you really can find love in a hopeless place:

“I ended up getting dragged to a pool party with my friend Lisa, who was just out of a long term relationship and looking for a rebound hook-up,” says Rachel Smith*, a recent graduate of Northeastern University. “At one point during the party, she pointed across the house at this guy and decided she thought he was really cute. She started talking to him, one thing led to another and she was begging me to go with her and the guy, Ethan, to get dinner. I was third wheel, but luckily Ethan's roommate, Andrew, was fourth wheel. The four of us spent the whole evening together, and I ended up hitting it off with Andrew and we were having a really good time. Ultimately, Lisa and Ethan only ended up going on a few dates, but Andrew and I dated for nearly two years!”

When it comes to finding love, these collegiettes prove that there’s potential everywhere you look. Step out of your dorm with an open mind and someone just may surprise you. Best of luck out there in the dating pool, collegiettes!

*Names have been changed to protect identities.

You’ve met a really great guy around campus, and things seem to be going well. You flirt, you text and you hang out, but for some reason, he just won’t make the first move. Every sign indicates that he’s into you, but instead of dating, you’re stuck frantically checking your phone for texts and refreshing his Facebook and Twitter pages for any kind of information. It’s driving you crazy!

Some guys are just a bit shyer than othersand might never make the first move. However, that shouldn’t stop you from scoring a first date! Here are a few indications that it might be time to ask him out, and tips for how to do it.

The Signs He Likes You

1. He’s vague with plans

When you’re trying to make plans with a guy, there’s nothing more frustrating than the word “sometime.”

“My first two years of school, I knew this guy named Dillon. We were always together, we texted and talked on the phone almost every day and his friends had told me he liked me,” says Hannah, a senior at the University of Colorado. “I used to get so frustrated though, because, despite all of that, he never actually asked me out.”  

According to Carole Lieberman, a psychiatrist and relationship expert, vague suggestions about going out “sometime,” “next time” or “soon” show that he’s definitely interested in hanging out, but for some reason isn’t prepared to nail down a date and time.

2. He texts, but never calls

You’ve been texting this guy nonstop and your conversations are great. His jokes are perfect and his emojis are on point, but he just won’t pick up the phone and call.

Lieberman says this shows that he enjoys talking to you, but he’s just uncertain of how to take your communication – and your relationship – to the next level.

3. He has good body language

For some guys, actions really do speak louder than words. While you may be frustrated with his lack of verbal commitment, don’t forget to pay attention to his body language. If he makes a lot of eye contact with you or chooses to stand or sit close to you, then you can be sure he’s interested.

The most important piece of body language, according to Lieberman, is lots of smiling. She says a guy who flirts with you without making any sexual advances may actually be very interested. This means that you’re more than just a possible one-night stand to him – you’re girlfriend material. 

4. You’re stuck as his plus-one

Weekends in college are filled with parties, casual hangouts and large group events. A sure sign that a guy is interested in you is if he’s constantly inviting you to these as his plus-one. Being his date shows that you’re on his mind and that he’s comfortable spending time with you.

“I was really into this girl during my sophomore year, but for a really long time I wasn’t sure she liked me,” says Matt, a junior at Boston University. “Instead of just going for it and asking her out, I usually just defaulted to taking her with me to friends’ parties and casual hangouts.”

5. He talks about you

Sometimes when a guy knows he likes you, he finds it easier to talk to anyone but you about it. If he won’t stop talking about you to his guy friends and won’t stop asking your girl friends about you, then chances are he’s head over heels.

“My first semester, I had class with a really great girl. We had talked a few times and I knew I liked her, but I didn’t know how to get to know her more,” says Griffin, a sophomore at Belmont University. “We had a mutual friend, so I spent a lot of time asking her for tips about this girl’s hobbies or interests. I figured it would be a better way to start up conversation.”

Do any of these signs sound like your guy? It might just be time to make your move!

How to Ask Him Out

If you’ve decided that the best thing is for you to ask him out, make sure you know exactly how to do it. For Lieberman, asking a guy out is all about making it relaxed and informal.

“If you’re going to ask a guy out, it’s best to make it as nonthreatening as possible,” Lieberman says. “For example, you can invite him to a gathering of some sort – like a party or a meeting of a club – where it’s not going to be one-on-one, like a real date.”

These types of group events are easy ways to test the waters and avoid any awkward situations. They’ll create a more informal setting for the two of you, and with other people around, it’s much less intimidating.

Lieberman’s second tip is to keep it simple and remove all of the pressure.

“Be very casual when you ask a guy out,” Lieberman says. “You can say something like, ‘Hey, I heard there was going to be a cool party at my dorm tomorrow night. Do you want to drop by?’ If he gets [a] deer-in-headlights look, quickly backpedal and say you just remembered you’re supposed to be somewhere else right now. Wave goodbye and say, ‘You can call me if you want to go.’ Then, if he never mentions it again, don’t push it.”

Taking a relationship from flirting to dating is always tricky. Even if your crush might be a little shy, that doesn’t mean you two have to be stuck in relationship limbo. As a confident collegiette, never be afraid to go for it and ask him out!

We’ve all heard that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, and a recent study out of the University of Missouri shows that a lot of college students are heeding that very advice. Out of 170 undergrads surveyed, 35 percent had sex with someone other than their ex-partner—that is, engaged in rebound sex—within a month of their breakup.

But what does that mean for collegiettes? There’s no doubt that rebound sex is a thing that happens, but when it comes to whether it will help or hurt you, things get a little murky. So, should you or shouldn’t you? Let’s break it down!

Why do we do it?

There are tons of ways you can try to get over a breakup. You can pull an Elle Woods and watch a bad romance movie, only to scream, “Liar!” at the sexy male lead and chuck a box of chocolates at your TV. You can stay in your sweats for a week and develop an intimate relationship with GrubHub, or you can gather your girls and drain your local bar of its tequila reserves. You could get over your ex the healthy way, or you could try something else entirely!

But despite the many options, a sizeable chunk of post-breakup collegiettes will likely choose a more physical course of action: rebound sex.

“I think for some people, it’s the kick in the pants they need—literally!—to help them believe that life will go on after a breakup,” says MJ Acharya, the founder of BrokenHeartedGirl.com, a place for the brokenhearted to seek support. “Imagining yourself with another person can be hard to do, so just putting yourself in a position to physically connect with a new lover can help kick-start your brain into imagining a future full of possibilities with another person.”

The dangers of rebound sex

Getting to a place where you can see yourself with another guy sounds great, but before we get there, let’s get the bad news out of the way: rebound sex isn’t all good.

The potential risks of engaging in rebound sex when you’re hot off a breakup and, consequently, emotionally vulnerable may seem obvious: you might get attached or find out that your emotions can’t be so easily plugged by a one-night stand. But according to Lisa Steadman, relationship expert and author of It's A Breakup Not A Breakdown, if you’re hoping to get over your ex this way, you might find that rebound sex has the exact opposite result — you might wind up thinking about your ex even more than before.

“[After rebound sex], we can go, ‘Now I have all these feelings coming up that are making me think about my ex and what we used to have and how I miss him,’” Steadman says. “[You could think], ‘This guy didn’t touch me the same way,’ or, ‘this guy didn’t treat me the same way, and I really miss my ex. I think I’m going to text him or call him.’ And that’s where the rebound turns into more of the breakdown.”

Another risk associated with rebound might have less to do with the what and who, and more to do with the when. The participants in the study who engaged in rebound sex did so within the first four weeks following their breakup, something that Steadman says might stunt the healing process, or at least set you back a few steps.

“There’s no substitute for being in the breakdown of your breakup,” she says. “You can’t avoid the pain. There are five stages of it—the denial, the anger, the bargaining, the depression and even the eventual acceptance—and you can’t shortchange yourself by trying to skip over those steps.”

Meaning? Rebound sex might seem like a good distraction the day after you get dumped, but in the long run, it might be better if you wait until you’ve healed on your own first. 

Alternatives to rebound sex

Want some serious post-breakup catharsis without the sex? We have good news: you have options when it comes to getting that boost and letting off some newly single steam.

“Maybe it’s rebound kissing or a rebound make-out session,” Acharya suggests as alternatives that run a smaller risk of attachment or regret. “And if that’s not something the person would normally do, she could just put herself on an online dating site to just garner attention from prospective mates in order to help her visualize herself in a future that doesn’t include her ex.”

And if those options still sound a little daunting, there’s always the option of just going to a bar and getting your flirt on with your best girl friends, no physical contact necessary!

Or for those collegiettes who don’t even want to think about guys right now? Steadman suggests getting a Breakover. That’s right, a breakup makeover.  “Nothing makes a woman feel sassier than a new ‘do,” she says.  

If you already have a ‘do you love, find something else that involves pampering and treating yourself. Self-love is a crucial step in the breakup recovery process!

Still want to rebound? Things to consider

Even with the potential pitfalls, there’s no denying that rebound sex is popular for a reason. Steadman describes it as a great ego boost: a way to reenter the market and remind yourself that your ex isn’t the only one out there. Not to mention, it’s probably been forever since you slept with someone besides your ex, and admit it: things were getting tired with him anyway.

It might also be a great distraction.

“I'm so pleased that I did, because although I'm no longer in contact with the guy I had sex with, for a few weeks I was excited again,” says Jasmine Walker, HC campus correspondent for the University of Manchester. “I… had something to talk to my friends about other than my ex-boyfriend. I was completely distracted by what I'd done, what I'd learnt and how sex could be with someone else but still feel good.”

So if you decide you are willing to take the risk, there are things to keep in mind to make sure you have the most positive experience possible.

“I think it's important to self-analyze,” says Acharya, who also wrote The Breakup Workbook: A Common Sense Guide to Getting Over Your Ex. “If you're typically not a one-night-stand kind of girl, then chances are, having a one-night stand could potentially diminish your self-esteem. In this situation, you want to feel good about yourself afterward.”

Another invaluable resource for safe rebounding? What Steadman calls the Boohoo Crew, a group of friends, who will make sure you don’t make any bad decisions while you’re still in the bad stages of your breakup. You know, the ones who are going to make sure you don’t drunk-text him or beg him to take you back—or, in this case, make sure you don’t have sex with someone new until you’re ready.

“Be sure that when you’re going through a breakup, you surround yourself with people who have your best interests at heart and who really want to help you through it,” Steadman says.

And of course, no matter the type of sex you’re engaging in, Steadman reminds you to stay safe and always be prepared. You don’t know where your rebound has been!

At the end of the day, how you go about your breakup should be about one thing: finding acceptance and the ability to move on. If you take your time to do that, you’ll learn why your breakup might have been one of the best things that ever happened to you.

“You’re free to be yourself, you’re free to move on, you’re free to meet someone who’s more suited for you, and those are all the upsides of a breakup that we often forget when we’re thinking about revenge or rebound sex,” Steadman says.

Still not convinced? Just trust the process.

“I've been in the breakup business for 10 years, and the old saying is actually true: ‘Time heals all wounds,’” Acharya says. “It's what you do in that time that will either make you come out of your breakup a bitter person—or a better person. Strive for the latter.”

We won’t lie. We were more than excited when Netflix finally began streaming every season of Friends earlier this year. Like the rest of the world, we wasted away a few Saturdays (read: every Saturday) binge-watching the show and catching up on our favorite moments. There are so many hilarious things we love about the show (smelly cat, anyone?) but we also managed to learn a thing or two about “how to relationship.” It’s only necessary for us to share a few love lessons that we were able to take away from the entire series.

1. Your friends will find out about it soon enough

Monica and Chandler’s secret relationship had a pretty good run, but that secret pretty much died out once Phoebe and the gang got a glimpse of an act that they would never be able to “unsee.” Cue the cat-and-mouse game when Monica and Chandler continued to try to hide their relationship despite knowing that their friends were well aware of their secret. The lesson here is that you shouldn’t try and keep your relationship a secret, period. Your friends will find out eventually (Important note: you should also invest in some curtains).

2. Timing is everything

Remember in season two when Rachel was finally ready to tell Ross her true feelings but it was too late? It was pretty hard to watch Rachel continue on being heartbroken and jealous of Ross’s relationship with Julie (not that that stopped us from watching... ever), but her experience just served as a love lesson for us all: timing is everything, and it’s important to express your true feelings before it’s too late. You never know when a Julie might come in and sweep your crush off his or her feet (and leave you with flowers in hand and a Band-Aid on your forehead).

3. There’s a difference between “taking a break” and “breaking up”

Ah, the “we were on a break” debate. When Rachel thought she and Ross were just taking a break – and Ross thought the Xerox girl was fair game – everything came crashing down. Needless to say, communication is key. Like, it’s key to know whether what your partner is saying means, “I need some space for the night,” or means, “Go ahead and sleep with other people.” Just a suggestion.

4. Choose whom you marry wisely

Who could forget the episode where Ross said Rachel’s name at the altar? A moment like this could only teach a person how important it is to not settle out of convenience and to make sure that you marry the person that you know you want to spend the rest of your life with (that is, find your Rachel and keep them close). Seems like a duh concept, but clearly not for the Rosses of the world.

5. We all have a lobster

Once upon a time, Phoebe informed Ross that Rachel was his lobster. Because, according to Phoebe, when lobsters mate, they mate for life. That basically meant that even though Ross believed that he didn’t stand a chance with Rachel, she was his soul mate and they were meant to be together. If you haven’t found Mr. or Ms. Right just yet, don’t stress. Everyone has a lobster, it just takes a while for us to find that lobster (and we may have to wade through some frat bros in the process).

6. It takes a while to get it right

Dating takes time. We watched the friends date a countless amount of men and women throughout the entire series. Not everyone will be the perfect match despite how badly we may want them to be. Sometimes finding our lobster takes a little more time than we may expect it to. Or, like in the case of Monica and Chandler, our lobster could be right in front of our face all along – and we could be too distracted by guys with great moustaches to notice.

7. Love is beautiful (and unexpected)

We didn’t expect Monica and Chandler to end up together, just like Rachel never thought that she would suddenly fall in love with Ross. But these things happened (thank you, Hollywood! – or New York!), and two beautiful relationships grew from it. We’re not saying that you’ll drunkenly find your soulmate like Monica and Chandler did, but we are telling you that your true love is out there somewhere – you just have to keep your eyes open.

In the end, Friends taught us that lobsters make better soul mates than people think, that love takes time and that hiding a relationship is easier said than done (TBH, it’s probably the hardest thing ever, and we don’t know how Monica and Chandler could even deal that long). Never deny the valuable life lessons that you can take away from a Saturday Netflix binge!

As collegiettes, we put a lot of thought and effort into our appearances. Choosing to reapply some mascara at a stoplight, spending 20 or so painful minutes every week maintaining your eyebrows and searching for the perfect conditioner that doesn’t overly moisturize your roots can be daunting. And despite all our hard work (even though we are all naturally beautiful!), our efforts usually go unnoticed or are taken for granted.

While we know when we’re having a particularly bad hair day, guys may not have a clue! It turns out that they actually don’t pay attention to a lot of the things we collegiettes may obsess over at times. Here are six things guys don’t notice about girls.

1. Your hair

Guys notice that your hair is there… and that’s about it. They love what you do with it, whatever you do with it. They aren’t that picky.

“I would notice if something was really elaborate, but girls can totally get away with rolling out of bed,” says Zach, a sophomore at the University of Missouri. Guys simply appreciate the fact that you are able to maintain the eight to 20 inches of hair they just don’t have.

While we may not be rocking the bedhead look anytime soon, rest easy knowing that even when your hair isn’t falling just right, guys don’t know that.

2. Your mascara and eyeliner

After trying every different brand of mascara, you finally found the perfect one that multiplies your lashes’ volume and adds length. You put some on the next morning before class, and you can’t wait to see if someone notices a difference. And then, no one says anything.

“I notice when [mascara] is there, but I don’t notice when it’s not there,” says Stephen, a freshman at Indiana University. “I just think, ‘Oh, your eyes look pretty.’”

So guys notice that you may look more dazzling than usual, but they can’t quite figure out why. Mascara and eyeliner are seemingly everyday makeup essentials, and guys have been conditioned to accept it as such.

“It’s like, in middle school, if a girl wore eyeliner, we would be blown away,” says Kevin, a sophomore at the University of Missouri. “But now, it’s just normal. I don’t notice it.”

3. Your eyebrows and random facial hair

It’s a Thursday night. You’re running low on time before heading out with your friends, and you can’t decide if you need to do your eyebrows, or if you really even have time to take up such an endeavor at all. However, while it may be obvious to you that you have an obnoxious stray hair growing out the side of your face, that kind of thing flies under the radar of most guys.

Guys often don’t even notice when you need to “do” your eyebrows, and they also don’t really know what “doing your eyebrows” entails. “If her eyebrows are like mine—thick and bushy—I’ll notice,” Kevin says. “Otherwise, I don’t notice.”

So go ahead and let your hairs grow free! The guys don’t seem to mind.

4. Your “cankles”

Ladies, embrace your sturdy ankles. This is one imperfection that is truly only noticed by you! Shocker: most guys don’t even know what a cankle is.

“I couldn’t tell you the last time I looked at a girl’s ankles,” says Sam, a sophomore at Saint Louis University. “Why look at their ankles when you can look at their face?”

So bare your ankles (or lack thereof) with pride instead of hiding them with long pants!

5. Your mild acne

In this stage of our lives, you’d think we’d have this whole acne prevention thing figured out. But, alas, some blemishes always manage to sneak up on us. The good news is that guys don’t pay any attention to these minute imperfections.

Sam says he doesn’t even remember if a girl has acne after meeting her for the first time. “I don’t see acne as affecting a girl’s cumulative appearance,” he says. “It’s something you noticed early on when everybody had it, but I’ve never really noticed in college.”

While you may freak out tomorrow morning to find that you have a new red blotch upon your cheek, fear not. That’s because, one: stress could make your acne worse, and two: guys simply see acne as a part of life.

6. Your skin tone

So your formal is tomorrow night, and you want to get a spray tan to look extra bronzed and toned in your dress. However, guys don’t notice if you’re a little pale. “As long as you don’t look like you’ve been inside for the past three years, you’re fine,” Zach says. “Don’t worry about tanning.”

Working with your natural skin tone and glowing from within are what grab a guy’s attention! But they also notice when you look like an Oompa-Loompa. “We do notice when you look like you’re trying too hard,” Ben says.

When it comes down to it, guys actually notice a lot about a girl: your smile, your body language and your personality are never missed. As long as you show off the real you, you’re sure to get the attention of the perfect guy for you!