When you're dating a guy with a beard, the scruffy look can be super sexy. That being said, there are also some very real struggles that come with the territory. A beard can make all the difference especially if you've only dated clean-shaved guys in the past. 

1. There's always hair in the sink

2. He takes longer in the shower than you do

3. He likes to get creative

4. It tickles when you make out

5. There's always a tipping point between him looking really sexy and, well, looking super ratchet

6. He's super proud of it

7. Him growing out his beard means he'll soon be growing out a man bun too

8. He loves the mirror

9. He uses your brush to comb it

10. Making out also means getting hair in your mouth

11. Everyone loves it and are forever complimenting him on it

12. You can't remember what he used to look like

13. You find yourself always wanting to pet him

14. He looks older and you look younger

15. When it gets wet its feel disgusting

16. Other girls are forever drooling over him

It doesn’t matter if you’re a virgin or more experienced in the sheets—everyone has questions about doing the deed. While you’ll never be able to reenact the kind of steamy hookup scenes you see on Gossip Girl or Riverdale, you’ve probably had a few of these thoughts, and more, about getting down and dirty. 

1. What’s with the positions having such weird names? 

Reverse Cowgirl should be a restaurant that sells healthy cheese fries, not something you do to another human.

2. How do people manage to do it while standing up?

You’d rather be naughty in bed…where you can conveniently fall asleep right after.

3. Is shower sex really as hot as people make it look on TV?

You can barely shower alone without slipping.

4. Is it normal to prefer staying in and masturbating, instead of going out and socializing?

Of course it is. Sexing yourself saves money and doesn’t require you to put on pants. It’s a win-win.

5. Why do people make sex on the first date such a big deal?

If you can share your platter of shrimp tacos, you can share a night in together NBD.

6. How do you muster up the energy and willpower to 69?

The only way you can multi-task is by eating, tweeting and watching The Bachelor simultaneously. 

7. Why is anal even a thing?

Who decided that it’d be a fun idea to enter the back door that releases all the crap you eat on a daily basis?

8. What are you supposed to do during oral?

Giggle? Squirm? Spread your legs like a starfish?

9. Who decided it was sexy to bite and twist nipples?

Nothing against BDSM, but that is 50 shades of way too painful.

10. If the bed doesn’t squeak, does that mean you aren’t thrusting hard enough?

You’re not in good enough shape for this!

11. Should you alternate between kissing and humping, or do it at the same time?

This will get super sweaty instead of super sexy, real fast.

12. What’s the normal volume for moaning?

Last time you screamed so loud, your roommates thought you were waxing your bikini line.

13. How are you supposed to easily transition into new positions?

If you move too fast, you might end up farting or something.

14. Are you supposed to clean yourself afterwards?

You have boxes of tissues reserved to crying, and…well, you know.

15. Is it normal to fantasize about sex during the most random, inappropriate times?

Getting milk at the grocery store turns into imagining a rendezvous on top of a stack of Bounty towels.

16. How do you manage a threesome?

You can't even be bothered to share your food with people, much less your SO with someone else.

17. What’s with the obsession over sexy lingerie, if you’re just going to end up naked?

It’s getting hot in here! So keep off all your clothes! 

It's 100 miles long and a world away from New York City, but Long Island creates a unique brand of woman that you can't help but love. Or love to hate. We're a tough bunch to get along with, and if you're dating one of us, then you'll totally relate to these 18 things. 

1. She will either share listicles like this on a weekly basis or roll her eyes at those who do

There will be no in between.

2. She will eat almost anything

Growing up with lots of different nationalities and a proximity to fresh seafood has made her fearless when it comes to food.

3. She will plan for traffic even if it is only a few miles

Just another day on the good ol' L.I.E! 

4. She will accidentally quote Billy Joel lyrics to you more than she means to

And she may be wrong for all you know but she may be right.

5. She will reminisce fondly about the nights spent tearing up dance floors at banquet halls celebrating her friends’ 16th birthdays

Oh, you didn't spend every weekend of sophomore year attending mini-weddings that cost at least $3,000?

6. Her hangover cure will be a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich (maybe with hashbrowns if she’s particularly emaciated)

7. Her pride for LI is validated considering the A+ talent her island has churned out (Kevin James, Ralph Maccio, Rosie O’Donnell)

And Walt Whitman, Jackie O, Jerry Seinfeld…

8. She knows all the lyrics to “Empire State of Mind,” “New York, New York” and “New York State of Mind”

It’s not her fault, though. They just get played at every New York sporting event!

9. She’s used to being near water, so too much time spent inland will make her a bit panicky

Not like she'll swim in it—it's just nice to know it's there.

10. She will feel passionately about whether you should drive or take the LIRR into New York City

Of course she won’t call it New York City. She’ll just call it “the city.”

11. She'll be bitterly disappointed when she realizes most other states do not get Jewish holidays off

This one just hurts.  

12. She’s the type of girl to sneak wine in a thermos

Don't ask us why (another accidental Billy Joel quote), but she's always a woman to me.

13. She knows someone who knows someone who’s related to someone who had a reading done by the Long Island Medium

Sure, there's a million people on Long Island, but we somehow all know Theresa Caputo.

14. She believes anything above the city is considered upstate

Even you, Westchester County…

15. She will roll her eyes at tourists in New York but will then spend 30 minutes taking a candid picture for her Instagram against a plain wall  

Sure, if she's not a tourist then there's no reason her followers need to know she went to the city, but that logic doesn't work for her.

16. Her sense of humor may not be the most politically correct

Read any New York Post headline and you'll see why.

17. She will politely remind you that F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote this about the area she grew up in

It's nbd. 

18. And that Schmidt from New Girl said this about the area she grew up in: 

(631 forever, though.)

Let’s face it, ladies — if you're straight and sexually active, chances are you’ve probably encountered a situation where the guy you were hooking up with couldn’t get hard. We know how it feels. For all of us, it’s bizarre, frustrating, and quite honestly, can make us feel self-conscious. What the hell is happening?

First off, if you’ve ever questioned, “Is it me? Is he not attracted to me?” Rest assured, you aren’t the cause of his impotence. Erectile dysfunction (ED) is a condition in which a man is unable to get or maintain an erection, thus preventing him from engaging in sexual intercourse — and it affects nearly 30 million men nationwide. Read below for five causes of ED for a little more clarity the next time bae can’t get hard.

1. Consuming too much alcohol

This one is well-known, so we wanted to get it out of the way right off the bat. “Whiskey dick,” as it’s most commonly known, is actually grounded in a lot of scientific fact. According to a study  by the National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences, alcohol is the leading cause of impotence (and other issues that come with sexual dysfunction).

Sexual dysfunction as a result of alcohol dependence refers to a range of issues, including decreased sexual desire, sexual aversion disorder, difficulty in erection, difficulty in orgasm and premature ejaculation. The study notes that this dysfunction is probably due to the fact that alcohol is a depressant, which slows down brain and spinal activity.

So, the next time you come home from the bar and your boyfriend has “whiskey dick,” cut him some slack — his current condition is totally temporary.

2. Smoking tobacco

While smoking any type of drug is a personal decision, tell your guy friends who smoke tobacco that they might want to put down their cigarettes. If lung cancer wasn’t reason enough for them to quit, maybe impotence will be.

According to this study by the Health Priorities Research Group at the University of California, Irvine, there is a higher prevalence of impotence in men who smoke versus men who don’t smoke. This doesn't mean that everytime a guy smokes, he won't be able to get hard. It just means that overall, smokers are more likely to have issues with impotency.

3. Taking prescription or over-the-counter drugs

It’s probably not surprising that prescription medicine could potentially affect a man’s ability to get hard, but it might be surprising to hear that some over-the-counter drugs can interfere with erection, too. What’s more, what kind of drug causes impotence varies from man to man.

Some medicines that may cause impotence are: Benadryl, Zantac, Dramamine, Tagamet, Vistaril, Antivert and Axid. Antidepressants can also lead to impotence, and since depression affects 30 percent of young adults, we can assume that a decent number of college men are prescribed them. If your boyfriend is having trouble getting (and/or staying) hard for a consecutive period of time, it can’t hurt to ask him if he’s on any medication that could be triggering his ED. 

4. Mental health issues

A number of psychological issues can cause ED. While they’re harder to identify and treat, the three most common are anxiety, stress and depression — and in the context of male college students, this makes sense. After all, young adult college students experience increased levels of all three.

Don’t go and self-diagnose him with one of these disorders just because he struggles to get hard on occasion. However, if you truly feel that he might be struggling with a deeper issue, you should reach out to someone in his family, a close friend or a medical professional for help.

Related: 6 Things Everyone is Insecure About When It Comes to Sex

5. Problems in your relationship

Although we started this article off by claiming it “isn’t you” who’s causing your boyfriends ED, in some instances, you could be a part of the problem — but it has nothing to do with how attracted he is to you. An unhealthy emotional relationship will also affect your sexual relationship.

If you and your significant other have intense arguments, trouble communicating, anger issues, and/or some other rift in your relationship, it very well could lead to issues with sexual desire and function. Problems in a relationship, especially at a young age, are never good. Try and work through your issues together, and be sensitive to his impotence.

Whether it be caused by a medical problem, a lifestyle choice or a psychological issue, ED is a real thing that affects many young men across the world. The next time you’re hooking up with a guy and he can’t “keep it up,” try and sympathize with him — and don’t insult yourself in the process. Chances are, the issue has absolutely nothing to do with you.

After decades and decades (okay, not really) of searching for the oh-so-special someone that will make you feel like Beyoncé singing “Love on Top,” you finally met someone! They are actually pretty awesome, and you're lowkey getting your hopes up that this is maybe the true love you've been looking for. These are the 15 ways you totally feel different when you first meet that person.

1. You suddenly believe in true love.

2. You start to project every #RelationshipGoal picture onto you and your potential SO

3. You’re okay with the fact that "Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)" may no longer apply to you

4. You realize that you have to start ordering things in pairs

5. You can truly indulge in the meaning of Netflix and Chill

6. You understand that wearing sweatpants every day won't cut it anymore

7. Neither will pajamas

8. You wonder how early is too early to change your relationship status on social media

9. You are way more inclined to tell people “I met someone”

10. You are incredibly comfortable deleting your Tinder account

11. You start to worry that your friends may think you are abandoning them

12. Wearing perfume will be as much as a necessity as brushing your teeth

13. But that also includes checking your teeth after every meal

14. You cannot afford to leave your room in a #SorryNotSorry state anymore

15. You are already planning where you will have your foot poppin’ kiss

I think we can generally agree that oral sex is one of the best things you can do with your partner, but also a total struggle. When you're hyper focused on pleasing yourself and your SO while simultaneously trying to be not awkward for once in your life, oral sex can become a juggling act that’s so hectic and overthought that it sucks (lol) all the pleasure away.

Whether it’s penis or vagina, we have some oral sex tips up our sleeves that will *blow* you away. We’ll help you get educated on everything about giving and getting head, and talk you through the awkward parts. Let’s just say that after we’re done, you’re going to be next level.

Giving

Penis

1. Protection

Robyn Berry, a staff member at Planned Parenthood in San Luis Obispo, has the full scoop on keeping your mouth and their genitals nice and protected. “First make sure both you and your partner have no sexually transmitted infections, and get tested regularly every few months,” she says. “Oral sex is relatively low risk if there’s some sort of barrier involved, but the best things to use are condoms or Sheer Glyde dental dams.”

To use protection, have your partner wear a condom or place the dental dam over their penis. You can go along pleasuring each other like usual, but the barrier will prevent harmful bodily fluids from being transferred between you two. If you’re not a fan of the latex taste, try a flavored condom! We recommend browsing babeland.com for your favorite flavor, because their lubricant is water based and won’t give you a yeast infection if you use it for vaginal sex later.

It may seem lame AF to use protection for oral sex, but also, why wouldn’t you? When all the stress of risk is alleviated, you can relax and feel sexy instead of being worried that something bad will happen. Plus, using a condom or dental dam doesn’t take away any of the feelings of pleasure.  

2. How to give a blowjob

The key to giving an out of this world blowjob is knowing all the hot spots that make your partner tick. You should definitely ask your partner first what they prefer, but we also have a few pointers for you too.

First off, remember that even though it’s called a blowjob, you still want to be using your hands in tandem with your mouth. Using your hands to cover the parts of your partner’s shaft that your mouth can’t reach is going to make them feel full and out of their mind with pleasure, almost as if you’re deep-throating them. Another part you don’t want to ignore is their testicles. Playing with their balls while you’re sucking and putting some pressure on their perineum (the space between the testicles and butt) will have bae coming faster than you imagine.

Also, please remember that you have teeth, and unless your partner asks you to, you can just put those babies away. That should be blowjob tip number one.

Ariana*, a senior at Pennsylvania State University, shares her boyfriend’s hot spot. “The thing that makes my boyfriend really crazy is when I stick my tongue in his meatus-hold which is the tiny hole in the tip of the penis,” she says. “Works every time!”

She also has an incredible fake deep-throating tip to share. “I stick my tongue to the roof of my mouth and just go down until he hits the back of the underside of my tongue,” she says. "He says it feel like I’m deep throating him, and I never gag, so it works for both of us! The only thing is being careful not to get toothy with your bottom teeth or this could easily backfire.”

Before touching your partner anywhere new for the first time, make sure to ask their consent. Experimenting and trying new things during oral sex is something you should do regularly to keep your sex life fresh, but always double check what your partner is and isn’t comfortable with.

Vulva

1. Protection

For cunnilingus, you’ll need to place a dental dam over your partner’s vuvla to act as a barrier between any harmful bodily fluids and your mouth. For extra fun, use a water or silicon based lube which will not only keep the dam from breaking, but you’ll get a yummy flavor. Again, we recommend bableand.com because their lube does not contain harmful sugars that may cause a yeast infection.

If you want to learn more about STDs and how to have safe sex aside beyond oral, this video by Planned Parenthood is extra helpful.

2. How to go down

Umm, hello clitoris? Your partner will tell you what feels good, but when eating out there’s a few main tips you should follow. Most of what you should be doing is licking and sucking their labia and clitoris, even penetrating with your tongue if that feels good for your partner. Spend some extra time targeting their clitoris and playing with their nipples. Don’t forget to use your hands in this instance too, because getting fingered in tandem with mouth action is the best feeling ever.

Emma*, a junior at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, definitely knows how to please! “My girlfriend’s favorite thing is teasing,” she says. “For us, oral sex is usually just foreplay but it’s honestly the best part of the sex. If you gently run your fingers up and down her labia but don’t really go for it right away, then all of a sudden just go crazy with your tongue on her clit, you’ll win. You’ll just win.”

Alright ladies, off to the races!

Come to terms with the less pleasant

Maybe oral sex isn’t always sexy from your end. Bodily fluids are weird, there are down-there smells you’ve never encountered before and it’s easy to get caught up in the fact that you’re putting your mouth all over the thing your partner pees out of.

Even though oral sex may on the surface seem gross or dirty, this intimate time with your partner should never be an act of martyrdom on your part. Treating it like a job or an unappealing activity you must do as part of your relationship is only going to make it worse. Remember that a body is a body, and it isn’t going to be smell like a Yankee candle or taste like vanilla ice cream. Appreciate your partner for their humanness, and getting lost in their pleasure and yours will keep your mind from getting hung up on anything yucky.

If you’re continually grossed out and want to avoid the situation at all costs, that’s a strong indicator you aren’t comfortable having oral sex. If that sounds like you,Scarleteen can help you explore your readiness. While you may be trying to pleasure your partner, we also want our collegiettes feeling good emotionally, because you shouldn’t have to sacrifice your own comfortability to make your partner happy.

Related:6 Things Everyone Is Insecure About When It Comes to Sex

Receiving

Communicate

You know what’s not fun at all? When two people try to have oral sex but neither has voiced their opinion about what they want and everyone is fumbling around feeling hella awkward and nervous. Don’t be that person. If the thought of your partner sticking their tongue inside you repulses you, then say it. Put on your big girl panties and have a talk with them about what gets you wet and how to make you cum. Talk about any boundaries you have, and make sure to listen to your partner too. Communication is key for receiving oral sex.

“Make sure you feel safe and comfortable with the person,” says Ashley Drayton, a Georgia State University alumna. “Having that comfort will make you feel less awkward and nervous. You should also tell each other what you like and don’t like, but ultimately if both parties are comfortable and passionate about pleasing each other, then it will be amazing.”

Let’s be honest, talking about sex can be a lot harder than actually having sex. It’s nerve-wracking to open up about your desires and make yourself vulnerable. However, communication is a hundred percent necessary, both for you to give consent about where your partner can touch you, and also because deep down we both know you want a good orgasm out of this. Keep in mind that when you do talk about it, you shouldn’t be criticizing your partner’s performance. It should be a mutual conversation, and if your partner isn’t okay taking any guidance, then leave them in the dust.

The last aspect of communication we want to touch on is that it’s okay for you to ask for oral sex! If you're dying for your partner to spend some time eating you out, just tell them and we guarantee they’ll be so turned on by how confident and ready you are.

Related:How To Tell If You’re Having Good Sex

Relax

We cannot stress this enough. Your vagina does not smell weird. You are a sexual goddess. You are Beyoncé. You do not have to feel insecure with your body or overthink whether or not your partner is actually enjoying eating you out.

However good a time you might have performing oral sex on your partner, it’s different when the tables are turned. It’s easy to get caught up in worrying if your partner is totally grossed out by you, and being so insecure and self-conscious is distracting you from the waves of pleasure your partner is giving you. The key to receiving oral sex is finding beauty in who you are, loving your woman self and realizing that your partner wouldn’t be giving you head if they weren’t totally in to you.

Danielle*, a junior at Kent State University, shares her experience with overthinking during oral sex. “I’m super shy naturally, so during oral sex my performance anxiety is off the charts,” she says. “I’m always worried about being awkward or not coming, but throughout college I’ve learned that it’s actually a really amazing experience if you can quiet thoughts about your body being gross or having insecure feelings.”

To truly relax and enjoy oral sex without letting negative thoughts creep in, spend some time getting to know your genitalia so you can trust in your body. Clean it by bathing regularly, and definitely don’t douche because it throws off your pH balance. Masturbate and get to know and love your vagina, because that’s pretty much what your partner is experiencing. Getting used to yourself down there and knowing exactly how you are should eliminate some insecurity that your vulva is some kind of gross monster.

Next, find some acceptance. Oral sex isn’t going to be perfect, clean and end in an orgasm every time, and there shouldn’t be that expectation. It’s okay if your partner eating you out doesn’t make you come, and it’s okay if you’re quiet or loud or shy or riding their face. Oral sex is, at its core, a time dedicated to pleasure and to grow in intimacy and connection with your partner.

Cherish it for its imperfections and awkwardness, and you’ll be enjoying yourself more in no time.

*Name has been changed

Not every relationship you experience leads to happily ever after. You can’t mold someone into your idea of prince, or princess, charming — sometimes two people just don’t work out. Whether you can sense the shakiness in the beginning of the relationship or years down the line, sometimes it’s best to trust your gut feeling. Here are six telltale signs that the relationship you’re in won’t last long term.

1. You mistake comfort for love

While it’s important to feel comfortable in your relationship, comfort is one of the key reasons why people stay in relationships that have long passed their expiration date. It can be nerve-wracking to put yourself in the dating pool again, and it’s even easier to hold on to a relationship because of the history you and your SO have. If you find yourself recounting the reasons of why you guys are together and the main reason is because “you’ve been with him for a long time,” you should realize that complacency does not lead to happiness.

Lauryn Higgins, a graduate student at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, knew that her long-term relationship wouldn’t last just because of the longevity.

“I was in a three-year relationship and when a friend said to me, ‘Would you want your daughter dating the guy you’re with?’ And my first thought was, ‘I would want more for her,’ I knew I had to start having a conversation with my SO,” she says.

Evaluate if just feeling okay within your relationship is where you want to be. Love should be the most gratifying feeling in the world and should never be confused with complacency.

2. You feel like a secret

On the contrary, there’s the classic “situationship,” which we’ve all been in or witnessed. Just like you can’t mold a person into your version of perfection, there is no way to force someone into a relationship they don’t want to be in.

Ashley Drayton, a Georgia State University graduate, knows that your relationship will remain at a standstill without a few key elements.

“If he’s content with having a situationship, staying in the house instead of going on dates, he seems to be hiding you or parts of his life, and he doesn’t put a lot of effort into things regarding you, it’s not going anywhere,” she says.

At this point in life, if someone wants you to be a part of their life, it will be clear to you. You shouldn’t be left guessing whether or not you might have a chance of working out.

3.  You give and give, and they take and take

Sacrifices and compromises are a part of any relationship. However, they should not be coming from only one end. It’s not a good sign if you give so much of yourself to someone with little investment in return.

You can easily burn out early on in a relationship if you are constantly giving. Megan Scavo, a sophomore at the University of Central Florida, knows from personal experience that selfishness can cause a relationship should go downhill quickly.

“If your SO expects you to plan your entire life around them, such as school, work and friends, it’s not going to last too long,” she says.

If you find that you are the only one sacrificing up your time, money and energy, recognize that that is not normal.

4. Your friends and family can tell it won’t last

Nobody is in your relationship but you and your SO, so sometimes it can hard for outsiders to judge your relationship. However, the saying “Mama knows best” may not be so cliché in this case. Love can blind you enough to the point that you don’t recognize warning signs.

“If your friends tell you they don’t see you with him forever or that he’s not the one, listen,” Megan says. “Your friends know you better than you know yourself sometimes.”

You may have that one friend who doubts every relationship you get into, but if the overwhelming majority of your friends and family do not see things working out for the best, you should at least listen to them as to why. They have a more objective view of the relationship. Plus, if they know you well enough, they can tell when things just click and when they don’t. 

Related: 5 Ways to Let Go of a Relationship That Ended Before it Started

5. You try to justify bad behavior

Your SO is not immune from making mistakes. It’s completely understandable to forgive small mistakes, but your SO should not get a free pass on everything.

Something that should be immediately addressed is any form of abuse. “If he says rude things or degrades you, even if it’s out of character when angry, that’s a definite red flag,” Megan says. “Way too many women put up with that too long.”

Rachel Petty, a senior at James Madison University, advises women to trust their gut feeling when it comes to a bad feeling about a relationship.

“If you find yourself making excuses for your SO and letting big things slide, that’s a sign you should probably end things,” she says. “If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.”

You can't shake off your intuition telling you something is wrong forever. In many cases, our feelings of uneasiness are justified. 

6. Your core values do not align

Opposites attract in many cases, but in some cases they cannot work long term. Having differences with others is what makes humans unique, but some differences may be too big to ignore.

Alyssa*, a junior at Kennesaw State University, could not look past a difference in religion between her and her SO.

“I am religious and my ex was not,” she says. “At first, I looked past this difference. But when he became comfortable enough, he would essentially make fun of me for believing in something. That’s where I had to evaluate if I could handle that intolerance for years to come.”

The important thing to remember is even though you and your SO have differences, there should be mutual respect for each other’s beliefs. You should never feel ashamed or scared to practice your beliefs because your SO believes the opposite.

Envision your future a few years down the road. If you cannot see your future with your SO and their current behavior, it is time to have a conversation with them. Whether or not you chose to end things or work on things is up to you, but know that you do not have to put up with behavior that doesn’t mesh with you. 

Do you ever have those moments when you are watching your favorite rom-com or soapie and wish you could be wined and dined like Carrie Bradshaw? No? Just us? Anyways, the struggle has never been more real than in the dating world as a broke girl. To make things easier for you, we’ve made a list of all of the best, and fanciest, date ideas that will make you feel like the luckiest girl in the room, but without putting you in debt.

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1. Bring the date to your place

There is one major and obvious way to save money—staying in with your date. But just because you don’t leave the house doesn’t mean you have to settle for Netflix & chill. To shake things up and keep it classy and cheap, invite your partner over for a night in. Clean up your kitchen and make it look fancy—set the table, put out some clean dishes and throw on some heels. When you’re done, it won’t even look like you stayed home to cook. You can have an amazing time together by wearing your best and cooking a romantic dinner together. To make it even better, light some candles and make some DIY cocktails.

2. Go to a museum and dessert 

In the world we live in, there are very few things that are free. One of the best is art museums, especially if you are student. Whip out your ID card and spend a night with Van Gogh. A perfect date night includes your best outfit, a date and a cozy night in a museum. You save money and you don’t actually have to talk much, which he may say he hates, but we know he secretly loves it... well, maybe. Just remember that there are other museums besides ones that involve staring at a painting for two hours. Make sure to look into history museums, science museums and other interactive exhibits. It's important to find something that both of you enjoy. As well, to make things even better, you can head out for wine and dessert and discuss what inspired you, whether it was a Monet or a monkey. You save money by getting in for free so you can spend more on ~ChOcOlAtE~.

Related: 5 Dates Your Guy Hates (But Won't Admit It)

3. Make Groupon your best friend

You may have scowled at your mother when she suggested you do this five years ago, but now you'll thank her. Groupon is a website that has the best coupons and deals for everything that you could possibly imagine. From a three-course meal to couples massages, you can get the fanciest stuff for way less than retail price. Interested in salsa dancing? Done. Feeling like going to a wine tasing? Done. Groupon has anything and everything that you could possibly imagine that leave you feeling like you own the world (without spending the world). Jennifer, a junior at Columbia University, says, "For my two year anniversary with my boyfriend, we decided to try something new and get a Groupon for two at a super fancy steak house. We got three courses and wine all for $25 a person and it was absolultely perfect. For what we got it should have been at least $40 each but because of the deal, it was perfect. I would do it again in a heartbeat." Much like Jennifer, other students say that using groupon is a "cheap" and "fabulous" way to save money and stay classy. 

4. Enjoy a picnic in the park

You may have seen it in all the movies and thought that it was so cheesy, but there really is nothing better, or cheaper, than a picnic. Pack a bag with all of your favorite foods, grab your date and find a nice cozy spot in a park to sit and chat. Bonus points if you pretend like you’re in the 1960s and wear an era themed dress—just don’t forget the wine opener! You save money by not going out and most times you already have all the food you need in your house. You would be surprised at how upscale mac and cheese feels when you eat it on a pretty plate outdoors! Plus you get to feel like you are in your favorite romantic comedy and what really could be better? Nothing.

5. Drink champagne under the stars

There is one thing that happens every night (most times) that does not cost any money to look at: the stars. Grab a blanket and a bottle of champagne (cheapest if you get the $5 stuff from Trader Joe’s) and hit the road with your date. Find a nice overlook on a clear night and relax and enjoy the moment. There is nothing more romantic than a night sky and someone you care about. It makes you feel like you're worth a million bucks, but without actually spending that much. Ushaia, a sophomore at New York University, says, "I surprised my girlfriend and took her to a local park to star gaze after a night of cooking in. She was so happy that we got to spend time together outside of our apartment but also super excited that I went the extra mile and brought a bottle of sparkling wine. I never thought I would be the kind of guy to like this sort of stuff but I got to admit, it was truly romantic and the only thing that cost money was the wine. My girlfriend loved it so much she told all of her girl friends to do the same with their dates." Sounds good to us!

6. Check out the student center

If you're still in school, chances are you have a student center that offers many discounts to local attractions and shows. If this is the case, there are so many ways that you can get tickets to Broadway shows and operas at a very cheap price. You still get to enjoy the classiness of a night out but without spending full price. For example, at New York University they have a full student central ticket box office. They offer discounted movie tickets, theatre productions, ballets and excursions that the students can use for themselves and for guests. One student, Liz, says, "I never took advantage of the student offers my senior year and I wish I had known about it sooner. So far this year I have saved so much money on dates because of the student discounts and it's not like it's stuff nobody wants to see, it's the big hits such as Aladdin and Spring Awakening. They even offered a program for students to apply in bulk for the Hamilton lottery, which is so cool." Although the student discounts differ from school to school, it is important to check it out sooner rather than later. It's known that the good stuff usually tends to go fast because of high demand. 

7. Indulge in a spa night

We know you love giving yourself a face mask every now and then, but what about your date? Bring out the candles and scented bath salts and turn your ordinary bathroom into a bubbly heaven. You can use materials you already have at home such as oatmeal and honey to create a body scrub that both of you will love. As well, the act of creating some DIY products will definitly be a bonding experience for both of you. Once again, buy some cheap-but-delicious wine, pour yourselves a big glass and enjoy. At the end of the night, you both will feel like you went to a five-star spa, but without the debt. Bonus points if you take turns giving each other massages. But make sure that your date gives you one first because you deserve it!

Overall, there are so many cheap and incredible ways to save money while still giving yourself a date that you're happy with. But let's be real, one of the most important things to remember is that it doesn't matter how much money you spend or don't spend as long as your date makes you feel like you're Queen of the World.

Whether we want to admit it or not, many of us have felt it­––that unexplainable sadness after sex. If you’ve experienced a feeling of depression after sex, you can rest assured that it’s a lot more common than you’d expect (even if the sex is awesome). Seriously, according to a study published by the Journal of  Sexual Medicine , up to 46 percent of women reported experiencing feelings of anxiety, agitation, melancholy or sadness after sex at some point in their lifetimes. What’s going on? We recruited the help of Laurel House, author, dating and relationship expert to get the scoop on exactly what these feelings are all about. 

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1. You're not ready

A huge reason why young women experience negative emotions after sex is that, quite frankly, they are having sex when they don’t really want to or are not emotionally or physically ready. Low self esteem, internalized fears or guilt, and/or emotional distance can also attribute to these feelings.

“If you feel low immediately after sex, it’s probably because you are finally allowing yourself to truly ‘feel’, and you realize that you don’t feel connected enough to have sex with this person,” Laurel says. “Even if you are in a relationship and this isn’t just a hookup, having sex and the release of hormones upon orgasm can force you to feel emotions that you have been avoiding tapping into.”

Lauren encourages collegiettes to avoid suppressing such feelings. “[This] doesn’t mean that you should indulge your grief and go deeply into it in that moment––but do make sure that you think about it at some point and be honest with yourself about where it came from and what it is telling you about where you are emotionally,” she says.

2. Hooking up just isn't for you

Feeling emotional after sex can happen to women at any age, so collegiettes are no exception! There is nothing wrong with non-commital sex, but some women aren't able to handle it as well as others. Ashley*, a junior at UCLA, has had her fair share of hookups in college­­––most of which resulted in her feeling bad about herself for the next few days. “This feeling comes mostly because I know it was just a hookup and we’re probably never going to even talk again,” she says. “It has me questioning myself and my decisions for sure.” Ashley is not alone.

Teresa*, a junior at James Madison University, thinks some women can feel sad after sex if they are not on the same page with their partner beforehand. “Once, I had sex with a guy I just met and he didn’t even ask for my number or anything before I left,” she says. “It made me upset that I was just another girl to him!” While some women are completely okay with no-commitment hookups, others are not––and it is important to find out where you stand on that ladder. 

3. Biology may be to blame

In the study published by the Journal of Sexual Medicine and Dr. Robert D Schweitzer, this post-sex sadness has a name and is referred to as postcoital dysphoria, PCD, or post-coital tristesse, PCT. It is something that can be experienced by both men and women, but is relatively unique to each individual. 

According to Laurel, PCD is totally normal and biological. When you have sex, tons of hormones––particularly dopamine and prolactin––are released that allow you to be vulnerable and tap into your true emotions. “With that, sometimes tears are shed too. You aren’t necessarily crying because you are sad, but you may be," she says.

After reaching an orgasm, a woman's dopamine level drops while her prolactin level rises. Prolactin is the hormone that women have for milk production (but men have it, too). Prolactin works to counter dopamine and shut down sexual desire, and surges of it can continue to be released up to two weeks after orgasm, according to the Entelechy Journal. So, it is possible to be sad after sex for totally biological reasons!

RELATED: Getting Attached After Sex: Myth or Fact?

4. You're not connected to your partner

Laurel's best piece of advice when it comes to sex is to connect emotionally before you connect physically––whether it is just a hook up or a significant other. “Some girls are better at shutting down or ignoring the emotional side of sex­­––others aren’t,” Laurel says.  However, she notes that you have to be honest with yourself.  “Can you truly view sex as just fun and feeling good? Truly? If not, do not do it! Check in with yourself. Be honest. Then, listen to what your gut is telling you. If you ignore it, you are hurting yourself even more,” she says. 

While you may think that only girls who are hooking up with random guys get sad after sex, this is not the case! Even girls in relationships can experience sadness after sex. Laurel recommends addressing these feelings with your partner. “Thank them for making you feel safe enough to drop your walls and tap into your vulnerability,” she says. 

Mia*, a sophomore at Millersville University, says that she protects herself from feeling discomfort by only having sex with someone she is completely comfortable with. “I know, in this generation, it may be old fashioned to make a guy wait for sex, but I never hook up the first time we hang out,” she says. “Even if it is just a fling, I still make sure I get to know the individual first­­––it makes me feel more comfortable during the experience and better about myself afterwards.” This isn't the case for everyone, but you have to know yourself and your limits.

RELATED:  5 Conversations You Need to Have Before Sex

No matter the case, if you are experiencing emotional distress after sex, you should always seek guidance from an outside source. Sex is a physical, psychological and emotional connection with someone––but what happens in the heat of the moment may not feel so great later on.  

*Names have been changed

You’ve picked out the perfect swimsuit. You’ve been working on your bikini bod for the past few weeks and planning your trip for the last six months. It’s time for spring break… and a new guy pool! Between the sunny days and breezy nights, there is plenty of mingling to be done. Here are five guys you are sure to meet on your sun-soaked adventure this spring.

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1. The Straggler

He’s cute and he’s charming, but you’re not exactly sure who he is. You’re not sure whom he came with or whom he knows, but he always seems to be there. Most likely wearing a cheesy graphic tee with mismatched swim trunks, he’s made friends with you and all your friends, but his origins are still unknown.

Oddly loveable, this fellow is always down for adventure. Because he doesn’t seem to have a group of his own to coordinate with, he is up for anything. Boogie boarding, parasailing—the sky is the limit! His nomadic air and adventurous spirit make him the perfect party pal. Just don’t be surprised if he’s a part of your posse one day and gone the next.

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2. The Party Animal

This guy stands out among the throng of bros chilling in the sun. Wearing Chacos, pastel swim trunks and a visor, he’ll be the one egging you on to bong the next beer. Feel free to decline his generous offer.

There’s no such thing as “taking a break” for this wild child. He’s ready to have the sickest week of his life, and he wants everyone to have the same experience. This ringleader is a great guy to know because he will always know the hottest party spots and will even have backup plans in case the destination turns out to be a dud.

Whether he’s rallying the troops at the end of the night to have another beer or searching for his Ray Bans the next morning because he went a little too hard, you’ll recognize this guy. And the party’s not over until he says it’s over.

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3. The Guy Who’s Just Along for the Ride

This guy is the epitome of what it means to “tag along.” Spring break sounded like an interesting concept back in October when his friends first talked to him about flocking south. He figured hitting the beach would be more fun than spending a week at home getting ahead on upcoming assignments. This guy just wants to see what all the hype is about.

You can find this dude toward the back of the pack, soaking up the experience without getting directly involved, wearing an understated, plain, white T-shirt and sun-faded swim trunks from last summer. Comfort and mobility are his style goals; he never knows what his friends may try to get him to do.

While he may be a little more hesitant to join in the fun simply because he’s out of his element, that doesn’t mean he won’t try. You may have to be the one to offer him a drink instead of the other way around, but once you get him warmed up, he’ll be the life of the party in no time.

4. The Townie

A bunch of college kids coming to the beach for a week of lighthearted decadence is only appealing to one type of guy: The Townie. This guy lives for spring break season, when thousands of girls flock to his local beach.

A tad older than the rest of your crowd, he has this inviting, casual air around him. His intriguing, legitimately vintage T-shirt and hemp necklace almost allow you to forgive him for wearing khaki cargo pants. Almost.

For him, you are part of a new, transient babe pool, and he is ready to dive in. This is his spring break as much as it is yours. From late nights at the bar to casual walks on the boardwalk, this is his chance to show you what his town really has to offer. He’ll probably offer to teach you how to surf or invite you to dine with him at the best sushi restaurant in town.

While he may occasionally be sporting a “been there, done that” expression on his face, the opportunity for him to show off in his element is sure to make him come alive.

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5. The Creepy Old Guy

This guy is a spring break staple. An older, slightly creepier version of the townie, this leathery local seems to always be conveniently sunning himself wherever you and your friends are at the beach.

While he may be wearing clothes that don’t fit his age (or his beer belly), he’s a potentially harmless, people-watching local just trying to catch some rays. He even told you about the local diner where you can get the cheapest, most delicious late-night food in town. But he may cross a line when he steps up to shotgun the next beer with your guy friends. Just casually laugh and find an excuse to walk away… Oh! Is that a bird eating the turkey wrap you left out on your towel?!

The guys you meet on spring break are one of a kind, and they always spice up any situation. No matter what their type may be, if you feel comfortable hanging out with them, go for it. It’s spring break, and the week is full of surprises!

By Tiffany Tran

At 16 years old, I thought I had it all. I was a strong academic student and a star athlete with great family and friends and, most importantly, a great love. College was getting closer, and my boyfriend and I had made so many amazing plans well beyond those years. I remember thinking that life couldn’t get any better than this.

I never anticipated that all of the planning of our dreams and promises would end up being for nothing. When he broke up with me, it felt as if my whole world came crashing down. I suddenly found myself in a real-life version of one of Taylor Swift’s many breakup songs. The next few months after the break up consisted of plenty of tears, sadness, anger and pain; the perfect recipe for a disaster. At the same time, I had to pretend everything was okay and continue to be the student, the athlete and the driven person that people knew me as. At 16 years old, I thought I had it all: I was a strong academic student and a star athlete with great family and friends and, most importantly, a great love. College was getting closer, and my boyfriend and I had made so many amazing plans well beyond those years. I remember thinking that life couldn’t get any better than this.

I still struggle with my first heartbreak (and it has been a few years since the breakup). However, I’ve come to realize that I learned so much more about myself after the breakup than I did when I was in the relationship. While there are days where I will think back on how things ended with my ex, I always tell myself seven important things to remind me that life does get better eventually.

1. It's okay to cry

I always thought crying was for the weak. I never did it in front of anyone, not even my family or close friends. I’ve come to realize that tears are not a sign of weakness, but a sign of humility and strength.

You should never be ashamed to cry when going through something like this. Crying lets you express so many emotions that can't be put into words. It can also be viewed as cleansing our souls to let go of the hurt. There's nothing more sad yet beautiful than seeing someone begin to heal on such a level.

2. You need to put yourself first

In relationships, we tend to put the needs of our significant other before our own. We disregard our own opinions and values for the sake of our lover. Slowly, their happiness becomes the only source of our happiness. When that relationship ends abruptly, we feel as if we’ve lost that happiness.

While it is true that breakups take something away from us, they do not take away our identity. I’ve come to learn that in order for there to be a healthy relationship, each person has to learn to love themselves before loving the other person. A relationship calls for the respect of each other’s personal beliefs and feelings. If any of these elements are compromised, the whole relationship will begin to spiral out of control.

The best kind of relationship is one where both of you know how to value one another and yourselves. It's okay to be selfish and look after yourself before anyone else. If anything, that’s where you’ll probably learn to love yourself the most.

3. You are stronger than you think

When going through the breakup, I remember thinking there was no way I was going to get over this. I had been crying for weeks and the tears didn’t seem like they wanted to stop.

While it is okay to grieve, it's not okay to get swallowed up by the grief. One of the difficult parts of any situation is realizing the amount of strength you might have. You are stronger than you know. You were a strong independent person before they entered into your life, and you'll surely transform into that person again. All it takes is strength and the will to believe that this is something you can get through.

4. He wasn’t the only person who loved you

I thought my ex was the only person who truly loved me and understood me inside and out. So when we broke up, I thought I had lost the one person who knew everything about me, who accepted my demons and loved my flaws.

However, the whole time I was mesmerized by his love, I didn’t realize that the people who truly loved me the most never left. The entire time, I had closed myself off to them, cutting off my ability to feel their support. I just had to open myself to let them love me.

5. Don't doubt your self-worth

The worst part of the breakup was not losing the boy, but almost losing myself. I placed all the blame onto my shoulders and felt as if I was the one who failed the relationship. I began to accept the loneliness that was upon me and questioned my own self-worth.

Thinking back, I realized that I did all I could to make the relationship last. It wasn't my fault that he left, and his decision shouldn't have any reflection on me whatsoever. You're worthy enough to desire happiness and love in your life. Just because this one particular relationship didn’t work out doesn’t mean that there won’t be others in the future.

6. You will change for the better

With every experience you go through in life, you come out a different person. The same is true for heartbreak. It's true that during a breakup, you lose that unexplainable something that you can never get back. You will never go back to the person you were before the relationship started.

The only way you’re looking now is forward, because the past is something you can’t dwell on anymore. The pain has taught you that heartbreak is something you don’t want to go back to. This is something that will only help you grow in the end.

Rollercoasters are exhilarating because they put you through a series of emotions whether it be fear, thrill or even adventure. You don’t step off a ride with the same emotions as when you stepped on. Life is the same thing. You don’t get out of a relationship to only revert back to the old you. You blossom into someone better.

7. You will love again

After my breakup, I thought I was never going to fall in love again. It had taken me months to truly feel like I was beginning to move on from my ex. But the fear of never finding love stuck along with me.

It wasn’t until my freshman year of college where I met a guy in one of my classes. As I got to know more about him, I also realized I had another feeling: butterflies. It was the first time since my breakup that I actually had romantic feelings for someone, and for once, I felt so hopeful.

You may tell yourself that the pain will last forever, but I promise you it won’t. You will come to realize that you learn so much more about yourself through a tough experience like this. It is okay to feel nostalgic about what you once had, but know that something better is out there for you. Life can get better for all of us, and it will.

I'm pretty sure Jewish girls are a species all their own. Some of the stuff that we do would not be considered normal in "the real world," aka around non-Jews. If you're gonna date one of us, there are some things that you will definitely have to get used to.  

1. What's a Jewish girl's favorite thing to make for dinner? 

A reservation! I make the best matzo ball soup ever, but I'm not trying to cook for other people. 

2. We use a lot of words you won't understand

Schlep: a long trip. Schvitz: sweat. Goy: you.

3. We're always down for sushi

Jewish girls LOVE sushi. We're not gonna eat anything with shellfish, but we LOVE sush. 

4. If you meet her Camp Friends, you'll be totally lost

They have years and years of inside jokes that they can convey with just a look. They won't catch you up. Make sure your phone is charged. You just wouldn't get it. 

5. Her and her Camp Friends have all dated each other (or hooked up)

But you have nothing to worry about. It was probably just a result of camp goggles. 

6. Her family's food is the best, no matter what

#ShitJewishGirlsSay: "My mom's matzo ball soup is way better than this." 

7. The first question her family will ask when they find out she has a new SO is, "Are they Jewish?"

We're not getting married, so does it really matter? 

8. We love to complain

The weather, our hair, our new Canada Goose jacket getting dirty…we love to complain. 

9. We're always hungry

And if you come to one of our family meals, you better come hungry and wear pants with a stretchy waistband. 

10. We all wear the same opal hamsa necklace

Most of us have them in the classic turquoise, and we all got them in Israel. Same goes for our Hedaya rings. 

11. We've been on a program to Israel

And it was the best summer/semester/year/10 days of our life!

12. We are amazing at Jewish geography

My cousin probably knows your sister's best friend. Did she do USY, or did she go to Ramah? 

13. Friday nights are not date night

Unless you want to have second dinner at like 10 p.m.? 

14. Our flat iron is probably our best friend

For some reason, our hair seems to be a lot frizzier than everyone else's. We are not strangers to every type of chemical straightening on the planet. Also, if we leave our hair natural and you say it looks "frizzy" when it's actually just curly (there is a difference!), then we will hate you forever. 

15. We probably call our parents multiple times a day, in addition to having a "Fam Jam" group chat

We just like to chat with them.

16. We know what celebrities are Jewish, and we probably have at least one mutual friend with them 

Abby and Ilana are Jewess princesses. 

17. We'll say L'chaim for literally anything 

Taking a shot at the bar? L'chaim!

You’re too observant for your own good — you always notice the little things. The lopsided smile on their face as they text that girl on their phone — the smile they used to give you. The strand of hair in their bed that’s blonde — not your brunette locks. Every day, each little sign begins to construct a seemingly infallible narrative in your head. Every minute, you can’t help but grow more irritated at your SO. And yet, although the suspicions grow in your head, you can’t bring yourself to do anything about it.

Cheating is hard for both people involved. Guilt, suspicion and lack of trust can eat away at a relationship without proper confrontation and resolution. We’ve talked to experts and students on college campuses to give you five steps to follow when you suspect your SO is cheating. Whether your suspicions are true or not, your fear definitely needs to get resolved.

1. Talk it out with your family and friends

You don’t have to go through this alone. A third party can help you clear your thoughts and give you a fresh perspective. Talk to someone who knows both you and your SO as a couple, whether that’s a family member or a good friend. Let them know your suspicions and see how they respond. Their insight on your situation can help confirm or assuage your suspicions. Maybe they know that your SO has cheated in a relationship before, or maybe they feel that your SO would never hurt you like that. That information can give you an outside view on your relationship, which is definitely helpful for you to gather your thoughts.

At the same time, don’t take the opinion of another person too strongly. Use it to guide your thoughts, but don’t take it too seriously. Even if your SO has cheated before, maybe they’ve changed and wouldn’t do that anymore. And even if your SO is kind-hearted, maybe that’s why they’re too afraid to reveal the truth. Keep that in mind as you talk with your family and friends — your intuition is what matters most. Along with that, make sure to talk only with people who you know won’t gossip. It’s not going to end well if your SO finds out about your suspicion through the grape vine rather than from you.

Anna Trojanowska, a freshman at the College of Charleston, says that even if you feel uncomfortable talking with other people, you can still find other ways to express your concerns. “If you feel that you need help, talk with a trusting friend or family member,” she says. “If you don’t feel like socializing about this topic because you feel it is too sensitive or personal, I highly recommend writing your thoughts down in a journal or simply a piece of paper. Trust me, this really helps. You will feel a little weight of emotional relief once you get some of your thoughts and feelings out.” Keep that in mind if the topic is too personal for you to discuss.

2. Make sure your suspicions have evidence

The police can’t barge into a house without a search warrant, just like you can’t accuse your SO without proper evidence. Think carefully and determine what actions make you feel suspicious. Are they canceling plans more often? Do they hide their phone from you, text more often around you, or talk about a specific girl quite a lot? Did they show more affection toward you before all this began? These are all good questions to ask yourself — along with others that apply to your personal situation. If you find yourself answering “yes” to a majority of your questions, you might have a cheater on your hands.

However, it’s important that you don’t blindly accuse your SO with half-baked, imaginary evidence either. It’s easy to get caught up in delusions and manipulate events to fit your preconceptions — and that’s not fair to your SO. Believe it or not, it’s quite hurtful to be accused of infidelity when you’re actually not cheating at all — it’s a huge breach of trust. You might lose your SO if your accusation ends up wrong. That’s why you should invest time into backing your suspicions with solid evidence. Even write down your reasons if it helps organize your thoughts. It’s not something to take lightly. Be methodical, precise and, most importantly, logical. Don’t make an impulsive assumption and ruin something beautiful.

3. Avoid stalking potential suspects on social media

While your first instinct might be to comb through every potential suspect on your SO’s Facebook (and consider whether you’re more attractive than them), please don’t do that. By obsessing over the “other person,” you’re stooping down to their level. Your only concern in this conflict is your relationship with your SO. It doesn’t matter who they cheated on you with — what matters is that they cheated! That’s what you’re worried about, and whenever you begin to obsess, stop and remember that your focus should be on yourself.

Along with adding more worries than you need, looking for a suspect will only further heighten your imagination. Whenever you see your SO talking to that person, even completely platonically, you’ll only grow more suspicious by the minute. That emotion-charged suspicion will most likely be unfounded. While it’s definitely important to catch patterns in your partner’s actions (like texting the same girl over and over again), don’t create patterns where they don’t exist.

4. Identify your feelings and set your emotional boundaries

In the end, however the relationship will turn out, your emotional state should come first. Never let someone get you depressed, really — it’s not worth it. Identify your personal feelings about your SO. Do you feel like you could have a future together? Or, could you see the two of you breaking up after a while? Especially in college, some relationships can’t last simply due to distance after graduation. If that’s the case, is it worth it to break down over some person whose name you’ll barely remember in 10 years? Definitely not.

Keep those emotional boundaries in mind. It might sound harsh, but don’t care about them if you don’t have to. If they’ve been cheating, they’ve lost the guarantee that you’ll care about them anyway. By loving yourself and keeping that first in your mind, you can get through any heartbreak. On the other hand, if you really did love them and saw a future together with them, that’s definitely a tougher situation to handle. Still, remember that these same concepts of loving yourself and creating boundaries hold true for you as well.

Rhonda Ricardo, romantic expert and the author of Cherries Over Quicksand, notes that when a relationship turns sour, it’s important to keep your personal goals in mind. “If an SO leaves a relationship there is going to be heartbreak and it’s not an easy time, so make sure you keep your goals in front of your eyes, to stay focused on the hopes and dreams you have for your life,” she says. “Keeping prominent photos or works about your life purpose/goals and physical exercise will help you focus on the positive and less on the broken heart.” You lived your life just fine before you met your SO, and you can live just fine without them as well.

Anna reminds us that in the end, your life is in your hands alone. “In my opinion, no one deserves to be cheated on, so the relationship wasn’t meant to be,” she says. “Life has its ups and downs and it is in your power to think positive and take matters into your own hands. You are in control of your life and you have the choice to leave a relationship if you feel that it is threatening. Life is too short to stand in time and worry about the possibility of your partner cheating on you again in the future.” As you prepare to confront your SO, keep those words in mind. Either way, you will get through this — don’t ever doubt that.

Related: Should You Forgive Your SO For Cheating?

5. Confront your SO with logic, not emotion

Now that you’ve gathered your evidence, talked with your support system and identified your personal feelings, you can confront your SO. Be upfront that it’s going to be a serious conversation. Call and let them know that you’d like to talk about your relationship, and set a place and time where you feel most comfortable — and where you can easily run to a friend afterward if things don’t go too well (remember, you are your #1 priority right now!).

When the conversation starts and you let them know your suspicions, don’t let your emotions take hold of you. Instead, calmly explain all the evidence you’ve observed over the time you think they’ve been cheating. Most importantly, don’t get mad and immediately accuse them. Make sure you use qualifiers like, “You seem to be texting this girl a lot” and “I think there might be something going on between you and her.” That way, they know you’re giving them the benefit of the doubt — and will hopefully retain some trust in the relationship if they end up clean.

Your SO is most likely going to vehemently deny the claims, whether they’ve been cheating or not. At this point, you need to keep pushing. Keep showing them your evidence and carefully notice their reactions. Do they seem nervous? Maybe a little guilty? Latch on to those attitudes and question them about it. Eventually, they might give in and confess. And if they don’t, and counter your evidence with real evidence of their own (text logs with the suspected girl, genuine reasons for missing dates, etc.), they may not have been cheating after all. It’s your choice if you choose to believe them or not. Just make sure you decide carefully.

Bridget Higgins, a senior at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, notes that the decision ultimately comes down to trust. “I’ve been in a relationship with cheating involved, although I didn’t find out about it until after we broke up,” she says. “Sadly, when it comes to cheating, there is no easy way to address the problem. You can confront your SO directly. But if lying is already involved, then there’s no way to know whether your SO is telling you the truth. I think it all comes down to trust. Cheating, as sucky as it is, is totally out of your control. If you trust your SO and what he/she is telling you, then you just have to let your fears go about cheating.”

If you decide to trust your SO, it can be extremely hard to simply let go of your fears about such a heartbreaking issue. Ricardo gives us great advice on how to start. “Remember how we all appreciate those that give us the benefit of the doubt (usually without expecting an explanation because they know you are trustworthy) including an SO, friends and family,” she says. “Then extend that same benefit of the doubt to your SO even if you suspect they may be cheating, and give them a chance to explain away your fears.” Like Ricardo says, give your SO a chance to eradicate your fears. Let them love you – things might end up better than before.

If you genuinely trust your SO, then believe them and don’t worry about cheating anymore. Make compromises and construct a plan with your partner to establish trust again. Maybe ask them to text you more often and let you know where they are so that you don’t need to feel suspicious. If you still feel threatened after a while, then it might be time to end the relationship. Never stay with someone who doesn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated. You are in control of your life and you can choose to leave a relationship if you are not happy. Never forget that and good luck, collegiettes!

Surviving sexual assault comes with many difficult consequences. One thing that’s particularly hard to come to terms with is being able to be intimate with your partner(s) again, whether that means having sex or just being able to hug and kiss. We talked to experts about how to gradually become okay with touching again when you’ve dealt with unwanted contact.

What are the consequences of assault on intimacy?

Although you may still want to be intimate after having been abused, you may not be able to for some time. “There may be a disconnect between the mind and body and how they interact and respond to feelings and physical contact, which may be frustrating and upsetting at times,” says Jennifer Marsh, the vice president of Victim Services at the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN). “Intimacy can be challenging, especially when a survivor is still deciding whether or not to tell her new partner about a past assault.”

Having a significant other at the time of your assault could help your recovery a good amount, but it doesn’t make intimacy any easier after the fact. “I was in a relationship already when I was raped, so I guess I consider myself lucky in that regard,” says Alaina Leary, a first-year graduate student at Emerson College. “When I was recovering from what happened, my girlfriend was very considerate and never asked me about sex and intimacy. She let me decide when and how I was ready to re-enter that part of my life, if I was at all.”

Although being abused or raped is a scarring experience for everyone, “it's important to remember there's no one way to react or respond to an experience of sexual assault,” says Laura Palumbo, the communications director for the National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC). “Sexual assault impacts survivors in a variety of ways, and a person's experience shouldn't be judged or labeled based on how they respond. The research supports this by showing a spectrum of ways individuals deal with the distress of assault physically, psychologically and emotionally.”

In other words, one person may be able to engage in intimacy sooner than another. Palumbo lists some of the consequences of assault on intimacy, stressing that they are in no way universal:

• Lack of sexual desire
• Pain associated with sex
• Lack of orgasm
• For some survivors, increase in sexual behavior
• Increased recklessness
• Decreased condom use
• Increased alcohol and substance use

Related: 5 Conversations You Need to Have Before Sex

What resources are available to you?

If you’ve suffered assault, counseling is the most recommended option. Beyond overall recovery, this process can help you regain the ability to be intimate. “Local sexual assault service providers offer a variety of counseling options that can help a woman talk through the steps to developing healthy intimate relationships,” Marsh says. “To be connected to the service provider near you, contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1.800.656.HOPE.”

Palumbo adds that “community rape crisis centers have someone available to speak with 24/7, no matter when the sexual violence occurred. Your college campus may also offer services for students such as counseling, support groups and sexual health resources.”

Many rape and assault survivors find talking about their experience extremely difficult, but therapy is truly the fastest and safest way to recover. “I saw a therapist to cope with the aftermath of it because I ended up having anxiety and panic attacks,” Krys Douglas, a junior at Georgia State University, explains. Although you can’t forget what happened to you, you can get much better and get your life back, like Krys did. Besides therapy, remember that your friends and family are there for you, and will listen without judgment.

Can intimacy ever be the same for an assault survivor?

Rape or abuse survivors sometimes feel like they will never be able to have intimate contact again, but this is far from the truth. “There is absolutely the ability to return to having healthy sexual relationships,” Marsh says. “An assault may be something that always is a part of a woman's life but it does not have to define her or her future relationships.”

Of course a survivor can have normal relationships, but getting there is a process that takes longer for some than others—and that’s okay! “For many this process takes support, treatment and time,” Palumbo says.

It took Krys a few years to recover well enough to have sex. “I suffered a sexual assault in high school and although when it happened I was already planning to be abstinent, I had no desire to have sex after that,” Krys says. “I was able to still date people afterwards and have crushes but sex was far from my mind.”

How can you dissipate any fear or distrust of your partner(s)?

A survivor must understand that she can reclaim her body and her power with any partner she has post-assault. “It is important for a woman to know that this is something that she has complete control over—who can touch her, where and when, are all decisions that she can make and discuss with a partner she trusts,” Marsh says.

For Palumbo, “reclaiming sexuality is really about understanding your needs, wants, limits and boundaries. Everyone deserves the right to define their sexual identity on their own terms while respecting the rights of others.”

So how can you feel okay with intimacy, no matter who it’s with? “Open communication is vital,” Palumbo says. “A survivor may or may not choose to share her experience with a sexual partner, but she always has the right to set her own limits and express her own wants.”

We can’t stress the importance of choosing someone who respects you and your needs enough. “After I was raped, there were times when I didn't want to be hugged, kissed or touched in any way, sexual or otherwise,” Alaina says. “I needed my girlfriend to understand that, and she did—and we went through it together. I talked to her about what I was dealing with and she really listened to me.” You should never engage with anyone who doesn’t listen to you in this way. Communication is key, and it is not one-sided.

If you’re not ready to show physical affection, make sure any partner you have knows and respects this. “I would advise anyone who experiences this to take their time and only do what they're comfortable with,” Krys says. “You never really fully get over the trauma of it but I found a way to gain strength from it so I can speak about it and have no issue or feel any shame.” Krys was eventually able to lose her virginity during her sophomore year of college; she took the time she needed and came out stronger.

Even when you do have sex again, you may never be okay with certain behaviors. “For example, I could never be with a sexual partner who wanted to fake ‘choke’ me in bed.” Alaina says. “My attacker choked me during and before the rape and it would trigger me too much.”

You must figure out what you are comfortable with and never let anyone talk you into doing anything else. “I'm still comfortable with being dominated as long as it's consensual—what matters is keeping that open communication, so my girlfriend knows it's what I want her to do,” Alaina adds. Remember that you can always, always, always say “no” to anything.

Assault is a painful, scarring experience and can have many consequences on your relationships. But if you seek out help, listen to your own needs and communicate with your partners, you can and will reclaim your mental and sexual health.

With the recent debut of the 50 Shades Darker movie, everyone’s talking about BDSM, kinky sex and erotica. Once secretly kept in bedside drawers, erotic stories are now mainstream and no one thinks twice when they hear that you’re reading about the sex they wish they were having.

But what is it about erotica that’s so appealing? Is it the sexy stories? Is it about getting your mind deep in the gutter? Is it about getting off?

Well, the erotica boom is a combination of these three things and more. Here are nine reasons you should pick up an erotic story or two and spend time with some leisurely reading.

It’s Like a Brain Vacation

When you sit down with a good erotica story, it’s easy to get swept away in the details. They’re often filled with vivid descriptions, steamy dialogue and raunchy sex scenes. That makes it easy to become absorbed in the story and stop worrying about the dishes in the sink or what you need to put on the grocery list. Instead, you can let your mind wander away with the muscular cowboy who never seems to wear a shirt.

It Turns You On

Let’s face it, erotica is hot. It gets you thinking about sex. About passion. About wanting someone so bad you just want to tear into them. And that turns you on. And when you’re aroused, you get not only a quick boost to your libido, but a long term one as well. After all, it’s arousal that increases your sex drive and keeps you coming back for more.

Most Likely Leads to Orgasms

And if erotica is turning you on, chances are, one way or another, you’ll probably end up having a few orgasms. And one of the great things about orgasms is they bring you benefits whether you enjoy them alone or with a partner. Orgasms feel fantastic. They lower your blood pressure and they increase the love hormone oxytocin, increasing your bonding and giving you that “in love” feeling.

Relieves Stress

But oxytocin does more than create butterflies in your stomach and enhance bonding, it also helps you relax. That’s because when oxytocin is released in the hypothalamus, it stimulates feelings of warmth and relaxation. It also leads to a decrease in activity in the amygdala, the part of the brain where fear and anxiety spawn.

Helps You Sleep Better

Orgasms have been shown to be as effective as prescription sleeping medication in helping people fall asleep at night. That’s because the feel good chemicals that get released when your orgasm create a sedative effect, getting you prepped for a long night’s rest.

Reduces Pain Levels

One of the great benefits of orgasms is they help reduce pain levels, especially pain associated with arthritis and migraines. Research states this is from the blend of oxytocin and endorphins that are released during orgasm. One study found that women’s pain tolerance increased by 74.6 percent after they masturbation to orgasm. And unlike pain relievers you get from the pharmacy, these natural pain killers don’t reduce sensitivity or feeling, ensuring you get the most pleasure possible from stimulation.

Teaches You to Be Creative

While most women understand that erotic stories are just fiction, erotica can help you add some creativity in the bedroom. Maybe you’ve never thought about being spanked, but after reading a spanking story, you’re intrigued about the idea. By reading different types of erotica, you open up both your mind and your bedroom to new, previously-untried sexual adventures.

Helps You Get Vocal

Maybe you’ve always been a quiet one between the sheets. Reading erotica can help you overcome your shyness and learn what words to put together to help you find your voice in bed. Now you can whisper your own sweet nothings in your lover’s ear without fearing that you sound like a fool. If the idea of ad-libbing makes your clam up, try reading some sexy stories together. Who knows, it may become your favorite type of foreplay.

Be a Secret Freak

We all have those secret sex fantasies and erotica gives you a way to safely explore them. Because sure a gang-bang sounds nice, but in reality that’s a whole lot of man sweat and spunk. Eventually you’re going to get sore and you’ll want someone to go down on you but no one is going near the vagina that just hosted 25 different penises with their mouth. But when you read it in a story, you get to experience all the fun without the hassle and it becomes a win-win situation.

What it comes down to is reading erotica is fun, entertaining, and good for your sex life. It gives your mind a break and can lead to more orgasms and better sex. What’s not to love about that?

Sex. Most of us are having it, and if we're not having it, we're either thinking about it or talking about it. It's human nature. Whether you're having sex with your significant other or hooking up with someone random (or you fall somewhere in between), after the sexperience, there are certain things you've definitely said or heard before before—for better or for worse. What are they? Read below for 15 things everyone has said after shacking up and getting sexy. 

1. "Wow, we should definitely do that again sometime."

*Drake's "Best I Ever Had" plays in the background*

2. "Wow, we are never doing that again."

We've all experienced bad sex or sex with an ex.

3. "Oh my god, what did we just do?"

This one's usually associated with a cringe-worthy regret.

4. "Where's my bra?"

It was lost in the heat of the moment.

5. "You used protection, right?"

Sigh.

6. "Can you leave?"

Kind of heartless. Sometimes necessary.

7. "I need to use the bathroom."

Amen! You should always pee after sexy time. Ain't nobody got time for a UTI.

8. "Did we have sex last night?"

Ahhhhh, the sting of one too many cranberry vodkas. 

9. "Why the hell did I do that?"

Although, this is usually an internal monologue.

10. "What are we?"

Consecutive hookup sessions with the same partner that are "no strings attached" are not a thing. There, we said it.  

11. "Let's go get something to eat."

C'mon, who hasn't been fucking starving after sex before? This is modern day romance, people.

12. "We're just friends."

While you've probably been the one who's felt this burn before, you've also probably been the one to do the burning, too.

13. "That was nice."

Translation = that was mediocre, but I don't want to hurt your feelings. 

14. "I love you."

Cause sexy time with your bae comes with all the feels.

15. "Thanks for that. Have a good day!"

So long and farewell. 

Now that graduation season is finally approaching, it’s time to start thinking about your future. Like what job opportunities there are, where you are going to live next year, and making time for all of those awkward (yet necessary) conversations about leaving.

For those of you with an SO, you’ve probably been dreading this talk for a while. If you have found yourself asking questions like, “What do I even say first?” or “What should I even be asking?” or “How do I know what to do?” then this is the perfect article for you to read. Here are the six conversations you need to have with your S.O. before graduating.

1. How serious is this relationship?

Realistically, you’re about to embark on the beginning of your adult life. This is the first question you should be asking yourself and your SO about the relationship. Did you just start dating? If so, how important is your SO to you? Could you imagine going a few days without telling him or her about your day? Or asking for advice about your job or friends? If the answer is yes, then it might be best to go your separate ways.

2. What are your plans after graduation?

You’ve most likely talked about the future with you SO before now, but just in case you haven’t, here’s a reminder to get on that. Morgan Wilkinson, a junior at the University of South Carolina, says, “It sounds obvious, but be really transparent. Tell him where you want to live and where you’re thinking about working. And, make sure you know the same about him. Nothing is worse than realizing too late that you want totally opposite things.” Talking about things beforehand will make everything go much more smoothly!

3. Can we make a long-distance relationship work?

Chances are that if you or your SO has secured a job after graduation, you might be in different cities. If you met in college, and you’ve never been apart for longer than a month or two, then living far apart might be difficult to manage. A lot changes when couples move far apart from each other, like the sex life. Dating and confidence expert Adam LoDolce from Sexyconfidence.com says, “Intimacy is a huge part of relationships and in long distance relationships, that's suddenly gone. So, keep the sexual tension in the relationship as much as possible.” Just because the relationship might be different and require different communication styles, there’s no reason you shouldn’t try to make it work!

Related: 10 Common Long-Term Relationship Mistakes & How to Fix Them

4. Where do you see yourself in five or 10 years?

We get it, this sounds like a question you might be asked at a job interview. But, the answer to this question will tell you a lot about your SO and probably help you realize a thing or two about yourself. LoDolce suggests asking questions like, How do you envision your life five or 10 years from now? LoDolce says, “It'll give you an idea about whether or not that person's vision corresponds with your own.” You want to be with someone you see a future with.

5. How are we going to handle the tough stuff?

Finding out your partner’s coping methods during tough times can tell you a lot about who they are as a person. When it comes to big moves or changes, couples’ communication efforts can take a big hit. According to LoDolce, these are the most common mistakes to avoid when it comes to communicating with your SO.

The first mistake, is not communicating what's on your mind. If you’re SO doesn’t know what’s up, how can they address the problem? The second most common mistake is not including the other person in decisions. Everyone wants to feel included and thought of, so next time you plan a weekend with your girls, make sure you let your SO know what your plans are. Lastly, LoDolce has noticed that a lot of people “fade out” once a new job or move comes along. Don’t make that common mistake, it could cost you your relationship!

6. What do you need to be the best “you” you can be?

The most important conversation you should have is with yourself. Be honest and realistic. Are you too dependent on this relationship to try new experiences or meet new people? Can you see yourself living your best life with this person? Or do you need space to learn more about yourself?

Graduating is really exciting. Don’t let stress over figuring out what the next steps should be for your relationship take that away. Asking these six questions will take you in the direction you need to go.

Hufflepuffs are the underdog house at Hogwarts. While your first instinct might not be to date a Hufflepuff, we’ve got a bunch of reasons to convince you otherwise.

1. COME ON! We are super famous for our dedication and loyalty. That’s the first step to any successful relationship.

2. Plus, we are consistently & genuinely kind. That sounds like the making of a perfect companion.

3. We have Cedric Diggory, a hotty hot Hufflepuff champion.

4. We also have Helga Hufflepuff, who was just a wonderful lady and total boss.

5. We are accepting of everyone, so we won’t mind hanging out with your friends–even the Slytherins.

6. Thanks to encouragement from the Fat Friar, we know how to look past all your faults.

7. We won’t turn into a total Dementor every time we have a fight; it’s just not in our nature.

8. Despite popular belief, we actually have a ton of really incredible withes and wizards, so we are guaranteed to be successful providers later in life.

9. We stayed to help Harry fight Voldemort, so we will definitely help defend you in any of your battles.

10. Nobody but us can look that gorgeous in yellow, let’s be real.

11. Our common room is right next to the kitchens. This may not have anything to do with our personal qualities. It’s just extra incentive.

12. If Tonks is any sort of representation of our women, you aren’t even ready for how cool we are.

13. Our smolder.

14. We’re just plain NICE. How many nice people are left in the wizarding world these days? We’re a breath of fresh air.

15. J.K. Rowling has said, “In many, many ways, Hufflepuff is my favourite house.” You’ve heard it from the queen herself. 

She may spend more time in her advisor's office than at your place, but that doesn't mean she loves her advisor more. If you're dating a girl with a double major, there are probably a few things you've already figured out about how to make it work. Trust us when we say there's a lot more to know about her. Here are 15 things you should be ready for if your girl has taken this on!

1. Her schedule is literally insane

College is busy enough with one major, but a second major completely changes the game. Some days, she will literally plan out every second of her day because that’s the only way to get everything done.

2. She won’t always have time for you

That busy schedule means making time for you and her friends is a challenge. She’s juggling a double course load, student organizations, sleep, family, friends and you. She won’t be able to spend as much time with you as she would like, but that doesn’t mean she cares for you any less.

3. You won’t see her out at the bars every night

You probably won’t see her out at the bars every weekend either. Juggling two majors means having to choose between getting her work done and going out with her friends—and if she’s ambitious enough to choose a second major, you know which option she’ll choose nine times out of 10.

4. She’ll be stressed out a lot

Chances are her course load is about as stressful as it gets. She won’t always be in the best mood, and the stress will get to her sometimes.

5. She needs you to be her support system

There’s nothing wrong with being your girlfriend’s biggest cheerleader. After a long day of classes and homework, all she wants is a shoulder to lean on or a pep talk to keep her going.

6. She hates when people ask why she’s doing this to herself

Honestly, she probably doesn’t have a good answer most days when she’s struggling to make it through the week. Another question she’d rather not answer is what she plans to do with her majors, especially if they don’t appear to coincide.

7. Her bank account will take a hit

A double major means a whole new set of classes to fit into four years, which means a higher tuition rate and more books and supplies to buy. She might have to work extra hours to make ends meet, or she may be extra frugal with her money and ask to stay in more.

8. Her planner is literally her best friend

With a schedule like hers, if there’s one thing she can’t live without, it’s her planner. Without it, she would forget half of her responsibilities. Don’t make fun if she literally takes it everywhere.

9. She’s passionate about her majors

Chances are she’s not double-majoring because she feels obligated to. She’s double-majoring because she’s super passionate about at least one of her majors. One may be a “safe” major but the other is likely what she loves most, or they both are.

10. She may choose Netflix over you

Or your date night will turn into a Netflix and pizza night. Some nights she might just be too tired to do anything but snuggle up in bed and watch Gossip Girl. But hey, you’ll definitely earn brownie points if you go see her anyway and keep her company.

11. She’s lucky if she gets six hours of sleep a night

Gone are the days of a cozy eight hours or more of sleep every night. Most nights, she gets around five hours of sleep. Beware—sleep deprivation may bring out the worst in her.

12. She lives off of coffee

She’s pretty much addicted to the stuff by this point. She’s used to staying up late to study or finish up homework and turns to coffee to keep her awake in her morning lectures. You’ll for sure bring a smile to her face if you surprise her with coffee just the way she likes it.

13. She may not be able to graduate on time

Some majors share requirements, but some are too different to rely on dual-credit to graduate on time. She may be on a five-year plan, which could affect both of your futures.

14. Don’t ask her to pick a favorite major

That’s basically like asking a mom to pick a favorite child.

15. She’s a badass

Anyone who decides to take on a second major and still manages to make time for everything else in her life is pretty badass. So give yourself a pat on the back—you’re dating a rock star.

It’s been almost three years since we first met. It feels like longer; how can so much have changed in such a short span of time? I still remember the very first time I saw you, but I guess I didn’t really see you then. You were just that friend of that guy that I know. I barely even looked at you when we were introduced—I was too caught up in my own life at the time. I never would have guessed in that moment that you’d be the one who would change everything.

It doesn’t make sense, but I feel like I owe you. That’s the thing about love, isn’t it? You left me scattered on the sidewalk but I’m the one apologizing for the mess. But we weren’t always messy. We were epic. Sure, we fought a lot but you also made me laugh harder than I ever have before. I think we were meant to be, but we were young and stupid and we did it wrong.

Looking back now, it’s hard to remember our mistakes. It’s hard to remember anything, really, except the feeling. I didn’t know what love was before I met you, but now you’re the very definition of it. I think that’s what makes first loves so monumental: For the rest of my life, my idea of love and relationships will always be rooted in you…in us. Not because I still love you, but because I did once and it changed everything.

I was angry with you for a long time after you left. I went to bed every night praying that the sun would rise and I’d finally forget your name. I tried to convince myself that I didn’t love you anymore. I knew it was possible; if I could be convinced that you never loved me, why couldn’t I do the opposite? But that’s not how it works, is it? You’re still the only one that knows the truth. You got to walk away knowing that I loved you. I was left drowning, not knowing anything.

I could have filled this letter with clichés like “it’s your loss” and blah blah blah, but I don’t really believe that. Yes, I would have done anything for you and you walked away from that, but maybe there’s more to it. Maybe we were lucky to have what we did at such a young age, even if we did burn too quickly. Maybe timing is everything, and maybe ours was all wrong. Maybe we really weren’t meant to be. Either way, I don’t blame you for leaving all those years ago.

I’m too much of a romantic to believe you never think of me. I hope you look at the empty side of your bed and wonder what I’m doing or what I’m thinking or if I look at the empty side of my bed and think of you sometimes too. Maybe I am too romantic. Maybe you never think of me at all. Maybe I’m just that girl you knew three years ago. Sometimes you scroll past my face on your newsfeed. Maybe you just keep scrolling. The truth is that I don’t know. I don’t know what made you leave. I don’t know what made you stay gone. 

I have come to accept that we will always be a question left unanswered.