Most people are comfortable being single -- that is, until Valentine's Day shows up and rears its ugly head. Through all of the complaining, chocolate binging and rom-coms, nobody quite understands the pure and fiery hatred we have for this cursed day. However, we might have finally found the one person who gets as angry as we do. This is what it looks like to be single on Valentine's Day, as told by our most cherished idiot, Donald Trump.
Some of you probably think Valentine’s Day is the absolute worst.
For years you’ve been desperately seeking a solution to keep all those disgusting Valentine’s Day lovers out of your sight.
Instead you choose to celebrate your singleness.
Yet, it feels like everyone is shoving this celebration of love in your face ALL THE TIME.
You’ve begun to absolutely loathe the colors pink and red.
When every single person is holding hands, kissing, giving each other flowers, etc. it triggers probable regurgitation.
Wearing all black becomes completely appropriate.
So does listening to heavy metal.
You want chocolate to taste like poop, but you can’t stop eating it.
The only things that you are capable of having a deep romantic relationship with are random inanimate objects like your body pillow or Keurig.
The worst part of it is that you actually spend most of the day doing absolutely nothing. It’s just a day.
At some point you force yourself to get out of bed, but all you can do is drag yourself to a restaurant and eat more.
Table for one please—and a giant lava cake to go with it.
And then there’s that moment when the waiter asks you if there’s anything else you’d like.
Another lava cake, please!
By the end of your night, you’re lying in bed with a chocolate induced headache.
