As we round the corner on the last stretch of the school year, it’s time for seniors to finally accept that the end of their college career is quickly approaching. On top of all of the other decisions to be made for post-grad life, collegiettes with significant others also have to decide what to do about their relationships. For all of you who are thinking about moving in with your boyfriend after getting your diploma, here are some things to consider before you make your final decision.

Money

The cost of living in many popular post-grad destinations can be incredibly high, especially if you’re planning on living in a major city. If you and your boyfriend move in together, you’ll be able to split the cost of not only rent, but also utilities, food, etc. Halving the cost of living in a one room apartment is significantly cheaper than any other option.

“I moved in with my boyfriend after graduation after doing long-distance throughout college,” says Alice, an Emory University ‘12 graduate. “We've been living in NYC for nearly a year and so far it has been great. For us, it was a natural transition because we've known each other since high school and have been dating for so long. It's also worked in our favor financially, because splitting rent for a one bedroom apartment in the city is much cheaper than other options like paying for your own studio or sharing a two to three bedroom apartment with a roommate.”

However, involving money in relationships can make for a tricky situation. It’s never fun to have to ask for money from someone or vice versa, especially with someone you’re romantically involved with. Making sure that both of you are going to be able to afford your half of things is definitely a necessity before you move in.

“Since neither of us has a job lined up yet for next year, I'm a little worried about rent,” explains Ashley, a senior at the University of North Carolina who is planning on moving in with her boyfriend post-grad. “Hopefully we don't end up with a situation where one of us can't pay our half. I'm thinking of taking an AmeriCorps job next year, so I'm expecting to have some trouble managing my finances. Living with my boyfriend should help keep rent down, but I may have to be stingy in order to afford my half.”

Chores

Whether you’re a slob or he is, there’s usually one person in a relationship who has a higher standard of cleanliness than the other. Before you live together, the fact that his clothes are constantly all over the floor of his room might irk you, but once you’re sharing a small, confined space, it’s going to drive you up the wall.

“His room sometimes looks like a hurricane just came through, so how different we are when it comes to cleanliness will probably be our biggest issue,” says Andy, a senior at the University of North Carolina. “But I’m hopeful we’ll both be able to compromise! When you’re sharing a place, you have to.”

Jasmin, a junior at the University of the Sunshine Coast explains that it annoys her when she has to clean up after her boyfriend after a long day of work.

“I am currently living out of home with my boyfriend in his brother’s house,” she says. “I do get annoyed when I clean up (e.g., the dishes mostly) because my current part-time job is a hospitality job and it’s very hard to do that after I’ve just done it at work!”

However, if you both agree to split the chores and commit to keeping your side of the bargain, it can definitely work out. Tell him the things that are non-negotiable for you and have him do the same. That way you know what you’re getting into beforehand.

“He’s more organized than I am, while I vacuum and use cleaning products more often,” says Ashley. “Hopefully we can strike a balance.”

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Time for yourself

You know those nights when you just want to lie around in your bed and catch up on all your favorite TV shows? Well think about how annoyed you’ll get if your boyfriend insists you change the channel every time you put the new episode of New Girl on.

In a small apartment for two, it’s definitely difficult to take some alone time. This might not seem like a problem right now because you know you love spending time with him, but if you two are around each other 24/7, you might start to feel a bit smothered.

 Liza*, a junior at Skidmore College, explains this can also be a problem when you want to spend time with your friends without him.

“My (now ex-) boyfriend and I were planning on living together for the summer, just us two,” she says. “It was his idea originally and I was extremely hesitant at first. What if we got in a fight and needed space from each other to cool off or just alone time in general? What if we wanted to have a boys’ or girls’ night out on our own? It seems like it would be difficult to balance a life at home with a significant other with a social life that’s all your own, especially at our age when there are so many places to explore and people to meet! I was worried that I would feel guilty having to choose every single night.”

You both need to understand that wanting to spend time apart isn’t a personal insult, just a precaution to make sure you don’t end up wanting to kill each other.

Annoying Habits

You think you’re irritated now when he uses the last of your body wash and forgets to tell you that it’s gone? Just imagine how you’ll feel when that’s constantly happening and not just with body wash.

Annoying habits are just that: annoying. But they’re also much easier to overlook when you’re not together constantly. When you live with someone, their flaws are right out in the open for you to see.

“Your love has to be deep enough to be able to withstand learning about your partner's flaws - no makeup, food fetishes, annoying little habits and other tidbits of information that were hidden when you were only dating,” explains Carole Lieberman, M.D., psychiatrist and author of Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets.

Living together means figuring out ways to tolerate the aspects of your significant other that tend to aggravate you. You’re going to have to learn to pick your battles. If he’s doing something that really isn’t that big of a deal, just leave it alone. But if it’s something that’s really grinding your last nerve, you’ll need to be prepared to talk to him about it before it gets to the point where you snap.

The Future

You don’t want to move in with someone if you think you might move out in the future, so considering the type of relationship you two have before committing to living together is extremely important.

You need to evaluate what type of couple you are. Do you fight a lot about small, stupid things? Do you have a break-up/make-up dynamic? Will he be a responsible roommate and pay his half of rent and do his half of chores?

“Before moving in together, couples should consider: whether they want to make a long term exclusive commitment to each other, how they will divide expenses, who will do what chores, and many other house rules,” says Dr. Lieberman. “Fairytales just show couples walking into the sunset, not how to work out the details of making a smooth transition into living together.”

If you’re a couple that is constantly fighting with each other, living together is going to make your relationship even rockier.

“Fights typically surround one person being neat and the other messy, not liking the same foods, not wanting to take responsibility for cooking or cleaning, arguing about sharing expenses, and one person wanting to do things more independently while the other wants to cling,” explains Dr. Lieberman.

Moving in together with someone that you can’t picture being in a long term relationship with is never a good idea. You need to be very sure of what you want with someone before making that sort of commitment. 

There you have it, some things to consider before you commit to moving in with your boyfriend. If you do decide to shack up, living together is a great test drive to see just how compatible you two really are. Good luck, collegiettes!

*Names have been changed.

Basic Facts
Name:Quinn Ramini
Hometown: Sanford, Maine
Relationship Status: Single
Sign: Aires

Campus Life
Major: Studio Art
Favorite thing about UMaine: All the different people to interact with, and buffalo chicken wraps at york!
How are you involved on campus: I am involved in the Men's Rugby Football club
Favorite place to eat in Orono: OHOP!
Best Class: Sculpture
Worst Class: Ocean Sciences
How do you like to spend your weekends here: Saturday is a Rugby Day, and just chillen with my friends,

Miscellaneous
What is on your ipod's top rated: I dont even think i rate songs on my ipod?
Boxers or Briefs: Is neither a choice?
An embarrassing confession: I still dont know how to check out a book at the library...
Ski or Snowboard: Snowboard all the way!
Salty or Sweet: Sweet, and you know it
Dream job: Profesional rugby, or Profesional Artist
Biggest Pet Peeve: Biting nails
Three words to describe yourself: Fun, Loud, Personable

Favorites
Favorite Barstool Segment: Smokeshow of the day
Favorite Song to dance to at a party: FEED THE DADA
Favorite Food: Pizza!!!
Favorite Beer: Budwiser
Favorite App (game or otherwise): Flashlight

The Nitty Gritty
Craziest place you've ever had sex: Some Back Yard
How do you let someone know you're interested in them: Get my flirt on
What do you want girls to know about you: I looOOOove Movies
What do you look for in a girl: Personality to boot
Deal-breaker: Into themselves wayyy to much
Celebrity Crush: Jennifer Aniston

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Name: Tyler Everhart
Age: 21
Hometown: Roanoke, VA
Status: Single
Major: Finace and Political Science
Hobbies: working, rugby, chillin'

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Name: Alex Cunliff
Year: 3rd
Program: Kinesiology
Sports: plays for UWO rugby team, lock position.

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Name:Ryan Marchbank
Class: 2015
Hometown: Ascot, England
Relationship Status: Single

Activities: Kappa Delta Rho fraternity, Tribe Rugby
Hobbies: Tap Dance, Clarinet, Watching “Game of Thrones” and “Boardwalk Empire”
What Do you Like Most about Homecoming: Meeting lots of new people and getting to see my parents.
Superpower: Super intelligence because then I could figure out how to get all of the other superpowers.
Perfect Date: Going for a walk down DoG street for cider, then ending up at the Blue Talon to get to know her better. And then we’d stop by mad about chocolate for dessert.

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Name: Jermaine Jarrett
Hometown: Kingston, Jamaica
Major: Economics & Political Science
Class Year: 2013

The Basics
Favorite Book: The Intelligent Investor by Benjamin Graham
Favorite Movie: Love Actually
Favorite Store: Rugby Ralph Lauren
Most Played Song: Alicia Keys - Diary
Favorite Class at Bucknell: African Economic Development
Campus Activities: Men's Varsity Soccer, Phi Gamma Delta Fraternity, Bucknell Undergraduate Executive Intern
General Interests: Soccer, Fiji, reading, Hanging out with friends

Girls, Girls, Girls
Relationship: Single
What he looks for in a girl: Great personality, Well dressed, Smart, Great sense of Humor, Bright smile
Female Turnoff: Bad Attitude
Celebrity Crush: Dianna Agron

Best of the Rest
Proudest Accomplishment: Silver Medal Pan American Games 2007
Myself in 10 years: Member of Parliament in Jamaica
Describe myself: Confident, Caring, Ambitious

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Name: Stephen Sheehan
Age: 20
Major: Journalism
Relationship status: Single
Hometown: Pembroke Pines, Fla.

Favorite thing to do for fun: Play basketball
Hobbies: Rugby, guitar, writing, watching football
Favorite quote: "What never began can never end."
Favorite food: Cuban
One thing he looks for in a girl: A great smile
Idea of a perfect day: Playing alongside his friends on the UF Rugby team followed by Midtown.
Goals for this year: He wants to win a national championship in rugby, graduate and meet new people.

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Name: Ian Eric Will
Hometown: Mont Vernon, NH
Major: Environmental Studies/Political Science
Class Year: Sophomore

The Basics

Favorite book: Born Standing Up, its Steve Martin's autobiography
Favorite Movie: Either Despicable Me or Sherlock Holmes
Favorite Store: County Stores
Most Played Song on your ipod: Every Time We Touch by Cascada
Favorite Class at Bucknell: International Politics
Campus Activities: Club Rugby, Club Lacrosse, SKI TEAM, Intramural Soccer, Intramural Frisbee
Campus Posse: Mod 34, PKP Pledge Class 2012, Everyone else that I like
General Interests: Interesting Things
Little Known Fact: The name of my first stuffed animal was Beary Bear

Girls, Girls, Girls

Relationship: Single
What do you look for in a girl: I look for a girl who likes to laugh and can make any awkward situation fun.
Female turnoff: I'm not a huge fan of when girls talk shit about other people.
Celebrity Crush: The oldest daughter from Modern Family. I don't know her real name

Best of the Rest

Proudest Accomplishment: Winning the Intramural Soccer Championship (B League)
Where do you see yourself in 10 years: With any luck, in ten years I will be picking apples off of the trees in my backyard, my dog pressing his head into the side of my leg telling me to take him inside out of the cold.
3 words to describe yourself: Nice, Goofy, Egocentric (just kidding)

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Name:Harrison Balisky
Year: 2013
Room on: Athletic Campus
Major: self designed with minor in green business
Originally From: Long Island, NY
Relationship status: Single

Campus Involvement: Fraternity(pike), fly fishing club, Rugby
Most Attractive Quality in a Girl: Confidence
Least Attractive Quality in a Girl: Biting their nails
Favorite Burlington Restaurant: Skinny Pancake
Favorite Food: Sushi
Hobbies: Working out, Wakeboarding, Skiing, Golf
Nickname: Harry
Favorite sports team: NY Yankees
Favorite Movie: Caddy Shack
Biggest fear: Losing family members
Favorite Musical Artists: Wiz Khalifa, Drake, Diddy, Bassnectar, Kid Cudi

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Name: Ryan Amspacher
Year: 2014
Major: Econ
Hometown: Morris Plains, NJ
Relationship status: Single

Do you have any siblings? 
Two. I have an 18 year old brother who goes to Villanova as well, and I have a younger sister who’s 8 years old.

Which one’s your favorite? 
That’s hard. I have to say my little sister. We’re tight. All three of us hung out this entire summer at the beach because my brother and I are both sailing instructors and my little sister was one of our kids. So we were her coach. It was the coolest thing ever.

So you sail, do you do any other extracurriculars?
I play rugby, I’m actually captain this year.

What’s your rugby nickname?
Delbarton. It was my high school, and I guess I was wearing all Delbarton gear during my first day of practice. Compared to some of the other nicknames, it’s not too bad. We have some pretty clever ones though.

What do you look for in a girl?
Definitely personality. I look for a girl who’s really bubbly and wants to have fun.

How about physically? 
The first thing I always notice is smile. A nice, bright smile where you know a girl has really good character. I also prefer wavy brown hair.

What don’t you like in a girl?
When she’s fake. Absolute turn off. A fake laugh is the easiest indicator. If there’s even the slightest sign that she’s fake then I’m gone.

What’s your idea of the perfect date? 
Depends. How well do I know this girl?

Let’s say you’ve liked her for a while and it’s finally happening and you’re psyched about it. Go. 
Hmm well the setting would definitely be the beach. Where I live in Long Beach Island during the summer there’s a long path that leads up to a lighthouse, so we’d walk along that and see the waves crash against the inlets and watch the fishing boats…it’s just a classic beach scene. When you turn around on the path, there’s a sandy shore where people arrange the rocks to say different things. So I’d probably rearrange the rocks in advance to make a heart with our initials in it to surprise her.

That would be in the afternoon because after, I’d have dinner planned at this restaurant called Boathouse. It’s super classy, the waiters are dressed to the nines and it oversees the bay and everything. Ideally the sun would be setting as we eat and we’d have a great dinner. Maybe after that we’d go on a night walk on the beach. And at the end of the date? Kiss on the cheek. That is my perfect date.

That is pretty perfect. Where do you normally meet girls you like?
Never at a party. I refuse to meet a girl at a party. I would rather meet a girl in class, walk around, lunch, community service…any of those activities. I won’t even talk to a girl I like at a party.

Would you rather find love through friendship or love at first sight?
Love through friendship. I feel like when you have the base of friendship first, it means so much more when you go to the next step. Love at first sight starts off shallow; even if you develop a deeper connection later, it was initially started because of physical attraction.   

What do you think about a girl making first move?
Always a good thing. I’m a shy guy, so that helps me out a lot.

So, what’s your favorite…

Thing about Villanova? 
Probably just the people. That’s really corny, but everyone’s really nice.

Part about living in the apartments? 
Cooking, hands down. My first night here I cooked dinner for two of the RAs.

Meal to cook: Breakfast actually. I like cooking dinner because it’s different every time, but I like to go back to breakfast. It’s easy, you can’t mess it up, and it’s always good.
Movie: Forrest Gump is one of my favorite movies of all time.
Video game: I’d have to say Super Smash Brothers or Mario kart. I like the older ones.
TV Show: Burn Notice.
90s cartoon: Rugrats.
Book turned movie: Lord of the Rings. I prefer a book to a film version, though. With the book you add your own element to it, the movie is always someone else’s vision.
Book you’ve ever read: Tale of Two Cities. A lot of people don’t like it but I just loved it for some reason.

Gatorade flavor: Lemon Lime, that’s easy. What do you call it though, do you call it yellow or green?
I call it yellow. 
See, I call it green because when you hold it up next to yellow or green things, it looks more green. It’s a big debate.

Who was your favorite teacher? 
Linda Boettcher. She taught ACS, she’s my advisor now.

Did you like ACS?
Loved it. I really liked the philosophical aspect, and I liked reading the books…and I got to talk. It was good.

A Walk to Remember or The Notebook?
I don’t hate The Notebook, but I like the classic boy meets girl they get together and fall in love and then she dies… I mean he could have moved on, it was high school. But he still loved her and stayed with her. That speaks to me way more than, “oh the guy built a house.” I love Rachel McAdams, but still. I think the only redeeming part of The Notebook is when they both die in the bed, but in the book that doesn’t happen, so it isn’t even Nicholas spark’s idea. Plus, A Walk to Remember has an awesome soundtrack.

Fair points. What kind of music do you listen to?
Classic rock. I really like Tom Petty. “Free Fallin” and “American Girl” are total classics.

What would you do for a Klondike bar?
Anything if it was mint chocolate chip.

Would you dance naked on the quad in Main?
Probably. But at that point it has to be mint chocolate chip.

What else would make you dance naked on the quad in Main?
My grandma’s apple pie. That’s a really weird thing to do for your grandma’s apple pie.

What would you get at Hope’s Cookies?
I would just get a sugar cookie. Snickerdoodle would be a go-to choice, but no one tops my grandma’s snickerdoodles. I don’t eat anybody else’s snickerdoodles…or apple pie…and no peanut butter cookies from anyone else…I’m so loyal to my grandma.

What’s one thing no one knows about you?
My first langue was Spanish. I had a Spanish babysitter and my first word was “agua.” I don’t really remember it now, though.

Friends or Seinfeld: Friends. Seinfeld is good but I’ve been watching Friends since I was younger.

New years or Halloween: Halloween. I love getting dressed up and going out. And for the record, I would rather see a girl in something funny and ironic than a slutty Halloween costume any day.

Perfect weekend?
It starts Saturday morning. I’d get up and have an early game of rugby, have after game festivities, then after get dinner with a bunch of friends and then go out that night. Then wake up Sunday morning, make myself some breakfast with a few friends, usually guy friends casually. And then we’d probably just hang out…bro out with a bunch of guys. Minimal girl time, but I went to an all guys school and I’m very loyal to my friends.

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Name: Carl Eckert
Hometown: Bernardsville, NJ
Class Year: 2014
Major: Philosophy

What he finds attractive in a girl: a good  sense of humor

Turn-Offs: when girls complain/are pretentious

What he does on campus: rugby

His ideal date: somewhere on a tropical island

His celebrity crush: Natalie Portman

Relationship Status: single

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Name: Mike Santos
Year: 2013
Major: Chemistry
Hometown: Glenview, IL

Campus Activities: Zeta Psi Fraternity, UIC Rugby, Student Activities Funding Committee (SAFC)
Interests: Zeta Psi Fraternity, hanging out, going to the gym, soccer, volleyball, wrestling, aggressive inline skating, football, UIC rugby, partying
Why Mike should be a Campus Cutie:"He's has a really good sense of humor, he's a good person, he's smart, willing to help others, and he's very well liked on campus I guess. He has perfect hair... even though it's like Justin Bieber's..."

How many times have you sat with a friend agonizing over every last detail of the text you are about to send to the guy you’re seeing? Should you joke around or be straightforward? Is an exclamation point too eager but a period too boring? It’s these seemingly trivial details that can turn sending a text message into a fifteen-minute (minimum) ordeal.

With technology playing a pretty big role in our relationships now, we’ve got a whole new set of etiquette to keep in mind — textiquette.

Don’t you want to put an end to these preconceived notions of what’s right and what’s wrong? Fantastic — so do we. But for now, let’s simply let guys tell us what they like and what they don’t.
We’re taking away the guesswork for you and going straight to the source. Read on to see what real college guys had to say about your texting habits.

Emoticons: Are they cute and flirty or immature and annoying?

There was no split in the opinion on this issue. Ladies, you may believe every text necessitates a smiley face to indicate your coquettish intentions, but our panel of guys doesn’t seem to think so. Their thoughts? Everything in moderation.

“I think they can be funny every now and then if the timing is right,” says Murph from Harvard. “They shouldn’t be used in every message, only in the perfect situation.”

According to Nick from the University of Portland, too many emoticons can actually seem a little contrived. “I think they're kind of silly,” he says. “I feel like girls try too hard to be really cute, but in reality they look super goofy.”

So while these guys aren’t asking that you cut all use of emoticons when texting (the winky face can be one powerful tool in your flirting arsenal), you might want to take a few extra seconds to think about what you’re going to send.

Constant Conversation: How much is too much?

Here’s the thing: we girls love to talk. In fact, it doesn’t matter if we’re speaking, typing or miming our thoughts. We just love to get them out. Boys, on the other hand, are often perfectly fine with only occasional communication. See a problem?

According to the guys we surveyed, the frequency with which you swap texts really depends on the stage of your relationship. Contrary to what a lot of us think, texting a fair amount can do wonders for a guy’s ego when a relationship is just beginning.

“If you are single, the more you text him the better,” says Rob from University of California, Davis. “Guys like girls who make their intentions clear.”

In the end, though, wearing out the send button, no matter how long you’ve been together can be a turn-off. “It becomes really annoying if they text you extremely often,” says Nick from Bucknell University. “To be safe, text a healthy amount and leave room for alone time.”

If he keeps the ball rolling, continue your conversation for as long as you want. But if you find that you’re always the one initiating a conversation, stick to doing so three to four times a day. Let him have a chance to get in touch with you.

Serious Issues: Is it appropriate to bring them up over text?

Texting rids you of certain luxuries that in-person chats offer — facial expressions, body language, tone of voice. This can make it tough to bring up super important things, though there is a bit of gray area.

“Bringing up serious things over text can cool down both sides when they meet,” says Martin from Wentworth Institute of Technology. Murph from Harvard agrees, saying, “You can bring it up, but do the actual discussion in person.”

But the guys did come to a consensus on a certain aspect of this issue. Break-ups are one serious topic of conversation that should never show up in a text message.

As Nick from Bucknell University so eloquently put it, “DON’T EVER DO THAT.”

Don’t you agree that your beau deserves a face-to-face discussion at the end of your relationship — and wouldn’t you want one too?

Drunk Texting: Does it make you seem sloppy?

We’ve all done it. There’s a lull in conversation at the party, and after one too many drinks you’re sending a semi-nonsensical text to your crush/date/boyfriend. There’s no taking it back, so let’s move forward and find out what he thinks.

Most of the guys we surveyed agreed that an occasional non-sober message isn’t the end of the world. Nick from the University of Portland even says, “It is hard to be critical about this because I drunk text too much for sure.” Got to love his honesty, right?

There were two major no-nos that many of the guys brought up. First, drunk texting all the time can get annoying. “If it’s an excessive amount, like if she is doing it every time she is drunk, it’s a turn-off,” says Sean from the University of Maine. “I don't want to only talk to her when she's drunk,” agrees Mike from Northeastern University.

The other thing the guys didn’t approve of was bringing up a subject that you aren’t normally (read: soberly) willing to talk about. “If there are things she only feels comfortable bringing up when she's drunk it can cause some weird vibes,” says Nick from the University of Portland.

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Sexting: Sexy or desperate?

Talk about differing opinions. Our panel of guys was all over the place on this one. What it comes down to is this: if sexting fits into the kind of relationship you have, go for it.

“It definitely depends on the time, delivery and relationship,” says Murph from Harvard. “It could be sexy at one time and received completely wrong at a different time.”

And as much as the guys love sexy time, many agreed that a phone barrier isn’t necessary. “I don't communicate very well through texting, so I prefer face-to-face interaction,” says Nick from the University of Portland. Rob from University of California, Davis agrees, saying, “I’d rather see her in person.”

Remember, there are some dangers to sexting, whether your guy likes it or not. Because of this, Mike from Northeastern University says it leans toward desperate. “Sexting is immature because those photos shouldn't be out there,” he says. “It isn’t guaranteed that only one set of eyes will see them. We are in a world of technology, and social media rules everyone's lives.”

The Waiting Game: What is a good response time?

Put yourself in your guy’s shoes here, ladies. We know, you have a life outside of your phone, but would you be happy having to wait hours on end to receive each text message?

As Chris from University of Massachusetts says, “Nothing kills a conversation like when the partner is responding 22 minutes after every text.”

It’s totally fine if you don’t have the time to bounce messages back and forth in a timely fashion. Just clue your guy in so he’s not sitting, wondering what happened. (Yes, guys obsess over these things, too!) So, what do they really want?

We asked, they spilled.

“Don’t give me a one-word or letter answer like ‘k’.” – Mike, Northeastern University.

“Texting is fine when it comes to simple things like meeting up or figuring out plans, but your real personality is usually way better/sexier/cuter. Be confident and show who you really are in person!” – Nick, University of Portland

“Never ever in your life text ‘We need to talk.’ or ‘Can we talk?’” – Nick, Bucknell University

“Single girls should text guys they are interested in more. As long as you don’t come off as pathetic, texting often is fine.” – Rob, University of California, Davis

So there you have it, your very own non-rule book guide to texting!
 

While there are few things more rewarding than the feeling of finishing yet another year of lectures, tests and presentations, the end of the school year can also provide some not-so-ideal scenarios for the love lives of many collegiettes. Between study abroad trips, summer internships and graduation, many girls often find themselves faced with some tough decisions regarding their significant other come the end of the semester. And while everyone’s relationship is different, we spoke with Carole Lieberman, M.D., psychiatrist and author of Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets, who provided us with some insight into the best way to handle these love conundrums, and what to keep in mind when deciding how to make the transition into summer work best for you. Take a look at the various situations you may find yourself in come May, and our guide on what to consider when handling each one.

Situation 1: You and your boyfriend are both graduating

As if we seniors aren’t stressed out enough at the idea of paying off loans and finding a job (not to mention, it becomes no longer socially acceptable to drink on a weeknight), entering the real world can place a large amount of stress on your relationship as well. What if you and your boyfriend accept positions in different cities and have to live apart for the first time in years? Or perhaps you two are from different areas and plan on going back home after graduating? Being apart for an extended period of time has never been an issue before in the blissful bubble that is your college town, and now you’re worried about how much these big changes will impact your relationship post-graduation.

Our advice

“Transitions are always a risky time for relationships.” says Dr. Lieberman. “Some relationships that have worked well in one setting may not work as well in a different setting.” And while this may not be an ideal prognosis for your LDR, venturing from college life to the corporate world doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is doomed. Dr. Lieberman went on to mention the often unacknowledged benefit that can accompany such a huge change: “If a couple manages to survive a transition, such as graduating and going out into the real world, it can help them to grow closer to each other.”

This being said, the most important thing to bear in mind is to not let the important decisions that await you become ruled by your relationship. “It is very tempting to hold onto each other for security as you venture out, but resist the temptation. You want to be together out of love – not out of fear… you will come to resent [your significant other] for limiting your opportunities.” Dr. Lieberman added. And if you do get lucky and find a job in the same area?  “You definitely should not plan to move in together right after college,” advises Lieberman. “You both need time and space to grow in the real world before deciding whether you want to take the relationship to the next level.” Remember that there’s no rush and you’ll both be a lot happier in the long run if you make decisions during this time based on what’s right for you.   

Situation 2: You and your boyfriend both have exciting plans for the summer… in completely different cities.  

Whether it’s a travel opportunity or internship that you have planned for this summer, it’s not unlikely that you and the boyfriend might be living in separate areas most some if not all of the season. Even though it’s a temporary separation, suddenly transitioning into a long distance relationship can add an extra strain, especially if the relationship is new. 

Take Jen*, a senior from Salisbury University who found herself living out this scenario. “Last summer, my boyfriend worked at a beach bar and I did a nine-to-five internship two hours away,” she says. “So not only were we apart, but we had completely different hours from each other which made even scheduling phone calls a struggle. Though we stayed together throughout that time, part of me wishes we would have taken a break for the three months we were apart… I would have had more time to actually enjoy my summer.”

This being said, distance isn’t always a death sentence for relationships, and can even turn out to be a benefactor. HC contributing writer and Boston University junior Hannah Rex found herself in this situation when her guy accepted a job in Los Angeles and she opted to stay in Boston. After agreeing to keep the relationship “open” before leaving, Rex found that the distance actually brought her and boyfriend closer as a couple. “I went to visit him in LA and that really pushed our relationship to the next level,” she says. “Which was great! By the end of the summer we were very much an exclusive couple.”

Our advice

At the end of the semester, make a clear-cut decision before summer, then let things happen on their own. While we certainly wouldn’t recommend ending a healthy relationship that brings you happiness simply because of a summer separation, Dr. Lieberman does mention that this can be a tricky time for even the most committed of couples, “The most reasonable choice is to agree to not be exclusive over the summer, but reasonableness doesn't prevent jealousy.” As Dr. Lieberman mentioned previously, in any scenario it’s important to make choices out of what you feel is best for yourself and the relationship, rather than simply out of fear of not having each other. Three months apart can certainly bring forth a change in feelings for one or both of you, as is displayed by both by Jen and Hannah’s experiences, so commit to being honest with yourself and your guy throughout the summer in regards to how your really feeling. While a solid effort is necessary for any relationship to work, if you begin to feel your long distance love is holding you back from fully enjoying your experience, it may be better to spend your summer unattached.

Situation 3: You’re graduating and leaving your college town but your boy still has a few semesters left, or vice versa.

So whether you’re now facing the realization that your once hot upperclassman boyfriend now has to graduate or you are now forced to enter post-graduate life alone while your guy stays behind to finish up a few credits, the unfortunate reality is that one of you will soon find yourself wrapped up with job interviews, while the other stays in the comfort of your college town. Take 19-year-old college student Allye’s* take on how she’s handling her boyfriend’s upcoming graduation, “[My boyfriend and I] get along really well and share many of the same views and values, and I am not ready to let him go after he graduates. I'm staying at school in Pittsburgh and he's moving to Atlanta to start working in a temporary position… but he's working to get closer to where I am.” And whether you’re the one graduating or staying, Dr. Lieberman gave us some important things to consider in regards to this tricky scenario.

Our advice

If you and your boyfriend decide staying together is the best option for your relationship after the semester ends, beware that the differences in your day-to-day lives may begin to cause problems of their own in your relationship. The post-graduate may begin feeling as if they have “outgrown” their significant other’s lifestyle, says Dr. Lieberman, which can cause tension. Along with this, the other partner may find themselves overwhelmed with the “buffet” of potential partners college provides that they may not have noticed or acknowledged while you were attending school together. The most important factor in the success of this kind of relationship is to be considerate of each other’s feelings during this time. “One or both partners typically feel anxiety about the transition and this can translate into behaviors such as irritability or wanting to be alone to focus on the changes that need to be made,” says Dr. Lieberman.

Her Campus CPO and Creative Director Annie Wang shared with us how her and her boyfriend have made this transition work for them: “My boyfriend is in medical school right now, which means he's literally studying all the time. We actually live super close to each other so distance isn't a factor, but scheduling definitely is. I've had to compromise, keeping in mind that the big end-of-year exam he's studying for is going to determine his entire career path for the rest of his life.”

Whether distance is a factor or not, communication on both ends seems to be the make or break for a couple who finds themselves in this situation.   

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Situation 4: You’ve been hooking up with the same guy all semester… now what?!

Whether it’s nothing more than a booty call or a hook-up that has evolved into a consistent fling, consider the start of summer your opportunity to reevaluate the relationship you’ve established with this guy (if any), and where it’s headed in the future. Perhaps you’ve enjoyed the happy-go-lucky nature of your spring semester rendezvous and are ready to move on to bigger and better things this summer or maybe you’ve developed feelings for your this boy that you want to be acknowledged before you both leave.

Whether this confrontation involves a simple, friendly goodbye or a deeper discussion of an exclusive relationship, bringing up your feelings in a mature way will ensure that you both leave on the same page and will help prevent future awkward encounters.

Our advice

Ending the semester on good, clear terms with your hook-up also opens the door for a potential reunion in semesters to come, or if nothing else at least a friendship. As for those of you looking to start something more serious with your guy, Dr. Lieberman advises that the end of the semester may not be the best time to do so, suggesting rather to discuss reconvening at the start of the next semester if you’re still interested then, “After summer is over, one or both of you may have realized that you want to move on, or that you really missed the other and want to take it to the next level.”

While letting go of a guy that you’ve developed feelings for is never easy, it may be what’s best for you in the long run. Allow us to share with you a quote from Sherry Argov in her national bestseller Why Men Love Bitches: “Sex and the ‘spark’ are not one in the same… every man wants to have sex first; whether he wants a girlfriend is something he thinks about later.”

In other words, if you’ve developed feelings for your current hook-up and he hasn’t seemed interested in establishing a relationship with you thus far, it may be better to take this year’s summer break as an opportunity to focus on finding a worthwhile guy that is more interested in having a meaningful relationship.

Katie King, a senior at Western Michigan University and writer for the WMU chapter, shared with us her experience when confronting her friend-with-benefits on where the relationship was heading before the semester ended: “I told him if he gave me a reason to stay [with him] I would… he said his feelings had changed for me and started dating another girl a few weeks later. We no longer talk, but at least now I have no ties here.”

Although it was painful at first, talking about the situation helped give King the wake-up call that it was time to move on.

Situation 5: You and boyfriend are both staying in town for the summer

While this may seem like the optimal scenario for collegiettes who are looking to keep things consistent with their main squeeze, beware that summer is often accompanied with some major schedule changes; something that could have a ripple effect on your relationship.

Shippensburg University senior Mara Nash ended up temporarily moving in with her then boyfriend in order to be closer to the location of her summer internship. “Both of us working full time was definitely a big adjustment for our relationship, considering we were both used to our much more relaxed lifestyles at school,” she says. “Despite the fact that we were living together the shift was definitely a challenge for us in so many ways. I had just assumed everything would stay the same.”

While distance may not be a factor in this scenario, there are still some important things to keep in mind when undergoing the transition from school to summer with your boyfriend.

Our advice

“Schedule changes can upset the rhythm of a relationship,” warns Dr. Lieberman for couples in the same place with changing lifestyles, “both partners need to be flexible and accommodate these changes – even turning it into a new adventure.”

And perhaps that’s the best way to look at it. By being patient and considerate of your guy’s busier schedule, it will not only encourage him to support you in the same way, but also show that you are able to undergo transitions together without it rattling your relationship.

Establishing a time each week in which you can spend a few hours together catching up and hanging out would be a good start to ensure you are accommodating each other’s schedule changes. Along with this, be sure not to pass up or shy away from travel or internship opportunities for fear of having to be apart from you guy. College is a great time to branch out and explore your own interests, and as Dr. Lieberman mentioned previously, it’s important to not let your relationship stop or hinder your choices.

*Names have been changed.

Have you ever found love—in a hopeless place? We've tracked down collegiettes who've found flings or full-blown love interests in the strangest of places and situations. Some might surprise you, and others will make you believe you can find that special someone just about anywhere.

Change of Heart
“I found love while looking for it elsewhere! I was pretty much being led on by another guy and he invited me to hang out with him and his friends at a basketball game. I guess he changed his mind because he just blew me off the whole time. I sat off from where he was, and one of his ‘friends’ sat beside me and we talked about how big of a douchebag he was. That was the first time I had noticed him and after that I started to realize how cute and nice he was, and how unattractive and rude the original guy was! We ended up hanging out and dating, and have been together for three years now. It just goes to show that the good guy you lean on and talk with about the ‘bad guy’ can be the real prince charming you need to go after.” --Autumn, The University of Texas ‘16

Making Allies
"I met a guy I dated for a long time at a Model UN conference. I'd like to think it was very Winning London. He was representing a big country, so he thought he had a lot of influence in the debates and was overly confident. I represented a small country, so I tried to get to know him outside this pompous show he’d put on during committee (though now that he’s my ex, I’m not sure it was all a show!). I definitely recommend that girls try meeting guys at conferences or through anything academic-related. --Kat, New York University ‘12

A Perfect Trip
"I met my ex-boyfriend in a really odd situation. I had gone on a Girl Scout trip with his younger sister and when I went on a college visit near their town, my parents and I ended up staying over at their house. We couldn't get enough of each other!" --Jackie, San Francisco State University ‘14

Close Encounters

“Working behind the counter taking coffee orders and making my customers laugh is part of my daily duties at [the coffee shop where I work]. Customers come in daily and all I do is brighten their day. One summer day it all changed when a man walked in the door and made me smile instead. Craig had come in a few times but never made an impression like this. He worked right next door so he started coming in a few times a day just checking to see how my day was going. He was always super sweet and I started to have a little ‘crush’ on him. Finally one day I was leaving work and as I was walking to my car I hear someone shouting, ‘Melissa, wait!’ and standing there in front of me was Craig! As he was running towards me he tripped and I couldn't help but laugh. We made plans for the next night. I couldn’t help but think that I knew nothing about this man... how weird would this date be? But it never turned weird or awkward ever and now we’re happy as can be!” –Melissa, Eastern Michigan University ‘12

New Year, New Guy
“I found my current boyfriend on New Year’s Eve 2011 at the bar. I got his name wrong the whole night and he was all over the place dancing with whoever passed by. I never expected that I'd end up with the guy who was mad at me for getting his name wrong and paid more attention to random passer-bys than me, as he challenged them to dance-offs. We didn't start talking until he drunk chatted me on Facebook once and then started chatting me simply because I was online at the early hours of the late night (4am). Facebook chats turned into phone calls and phone calls turned into sparse visits every month or so. Eventually we started dating (after 6 months of talking) and I've never been happier! I wouldn't change it for anything! And I still love seeing him challenge girls and guys at the bar to dance-offs!” –Kristie, North Carolina State University ‘12

Romantic Drama
"My high school's acting class wanted to do a play about domestic violence to raise awareness. I would be the girl who was abused, and we needed a male abuser. One of the other girls went to a study hall to ask for volunteers. Victor, bored to tears, said yes. As soon as he walked in, I was immediately attracted to him. However we didn't start dating until well after the domestic violence play was done. He asked me out the day after we got back from fall break, and we've been dating ever since." --Catherine, Chatham University ‘15

So the next time you find yourself grumbling about how you never, ever meet anyone, remember how your fellow collegiettes stumbled upon that special someone. Anything is possible, right?

Almost exactly one year ago, I found myself in a place I had never really been before — I was single. Since I was about twelve, I had made a habit of getting into relationships with guy after guy after guy. After breaking up with my boyfriend of nearly a year and a half last January I decided that I would make a concerted effort to stay single. I wanted to focus on my relationship with myself, rather than have my sense of self be attached to a guy. I felt a bit like a character in a sub-par romantic comedy by making that declaration, but it was important to me.

The main thing about my behavior in relationships that I wanted to change was my tendency to alter my opinions and interests for the guys I was dating. Being with someone was more important than being with therightsomeone and, as a result, I found myself saying things like, “Yeah, I totally love baseball too,” despite not knowing anything about baseball except that you hit the ball with a bat, and I wasn’t even 100% sure if that was right. I would find myself getting attached and ultimately hurt by guys that I was never really sure I ever even liked. I convinced myself I liked them and that we were compatible out of a fear of being alone.
 
The decision to stay single started off easy. I was single for the first time in college, which allowed me to get close to people I normally wouldn’t have spent a lot of time with. When you’re dating someone, a large chunk of your life is eaten up by them, but being single allowed me to grow closer with my suitemates and find a group of solid girlfriends for the first time in college. I was about three months into being single and no part of me missed being in a relationship. I kept myself busy during the week with class and internships and then during the weekend, I went dancing with friends, went to parties, and tried new restaurants. I was happier than I had been in a while and it was completely unrelated to my Facebook relationship status. When I got the opportunity to go on dates, I’d respond, “I’m sorry, but I’m really not interested in dating anyone right now.” Cue Beyonce.
 
This is not to say that there were not moments that I missed being in a relationship or moments where I missed being with my ex. However, I was keeping myself distracted with enough activities and people that it was easy to pull myself out of a woe-is-me session when I felt one coming on. Plus, any sadness that I felt was immediately overcome by a wash of happiness from the realization that I was living my life as “Michelle King. Period.” and not “Michelle King, Girlfriend of So-and-So.” I was the only person that defined me and I loved that.
 

Eventually, I did agree to go on a date with someone — a cute senior who I hardly knew but had harbored a distant crush on forever based on literally nothing more than his amazing bone structure and piercing green eyes. For our date, he took me to one of my favorite restaurants, where we sat at a candlelit table and I felt… absolutely nothing. It was clear within minutes that even though he was a perfectly nice guy, we had little to nothing in common. There was not even one butterfly in my stomach.
 
In the past, this was exactly the kind of guy that I would convince myself I had serious feelings for — he was (ridiculously) cute, nice, charming, polite — all the things that are objectively “boyfriend material.” Still, the fact that we had zero chemistry trumped all those factors. Instead of pretending that I was as into the things he was interested into or that I found all his jokes hilarious, I refused to let myself throw away the sense of independence I had gained. At the end of the date, he asked if I wanted to go on another date later that week. I knew that a few months ago I would have said yes, but instead I took a deep breath and said, “I had a great time tonight, but I really want to be single right now and I don’t want to waste your time.” That weekend, I went out with some of my best friends and at no point in the evening did I find myself wishing I were with a boyfriend.
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After about 7 months, I was still single and was still happy. Being single forced me to think about the reasons why I had become so reliant on males. I was learning so much about myself. I was living in New York for the summer and definitely felt as if I was entering a new chapter of my life. One weekend, I went to the apartment party of a girl I went to high school with. Since I didn’t know many people in the city, I was open to talking to and hanging out with almost anyone, which is how I began talking to Joshua. We had an instant rapport. We liked the same bands and movies and had both studied abroad in the Netherlands, but the connection was based off way more than just things you’d find on our Facebook profile. We had the same sarcastic sense of humor and similar career paths. Talking to Joshua was easy right off the bat, but I still wanted to be single, which is exactly what I told him when he asked if I wanted to go to dinner that week.
 
“Okay,” he replied. “Then let’s not go out on a date. Let’s just hang out as friends.” I didn’t see any problem with that (after all, we clearly had a bond and I didn’t have a lot of friends in the city), so I agreed.
 
Joshua and I began hanging out frequently, doing things that vaguely resembled dates (walking the Brooklyn Bridge, watching the sun set on the Highline, visiting art galleries in Chelsea), but we never held hands, we never kissed, we weren’t really even very flirty. I let him know when I disagreed with him. I’d show up to dinner with messy hair and no makeup post-gym. I felt comfortable with him and I loved being with him. I knew that I liked him in a way I had never really liked anyone previously, since I felt so comfortable with him and no pressure from our relationship status, but I also knew that being single was really, really important to me.
 
One night, Joshua sat me down to have a talk about “what we are.” He expressed to me how much he liked me and even that he would be willing to do long-distance once the summer was over and I moved out of Manhattan. As he spoke, I began to get anxious. The idea of not being with Joshua scared me, but so did the idea of having a boyfriend. Being single still felt new and important to me. I let him know that and could see how crushed he was. After that, we didn’t really hang out again.

I’m still single and sometimes I do have “what if” moments regarding my relationship with Joshua. If I sat here telling you that it wasn’t hard watching Joshua get a girlfriend, move on, and lose touch with me, I’d be lying. It was very difficult, especially when all of that first happened. I become angry with myself that I had let a guy I was truly compatible with go. However, that was about 8 months ago and I have learned a lot about myself in those 8 months that I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to had I been someone’s girlfriend. I am proud that I made a difficult, but ultimately right, decision and I have certainly reaped the benefits.

College can often feel like an unintentional crash course in time management. Your parents are hassling you about plans for the future. Your study group wants to push the meeting date to Friday instead of Sunday. Your chemistry professor needed that paper turned into his office, like, two hours ago. Throw in an exciting new relationship that begs for all of your attention and some friends who feel more than a little bit neglected, and it becomes obvious that sometimes there are just not enough hours in the day.

But while mom and dad can wait, and your stellar grades won’t drop too much from one bad score, friendships and relationships aren’t always as easy to figure out. A lot of the time friends are unfortunately pushed to the side. While we can’t instruct you on the perfect method to splitting your time, we do have some tips for making the balancing act a bit easier — and how to work your way out of those pesky fights that can happen.

Don’t Blow Off Traditions

Whether you make a ritual of splitting a cupcake on the first day of summer or watching The Bachelortogether every Monday night, don’t skip out on the tradition. Missing a night of sitting on the couch judging grown women as they fight over a floppy-haired winemaker might not seem like a big deal, but sometimes the smallest things can matter the most. Let your boyfriend know how much these dates mean to your friendship, and that they’re nonnegotiable. He might not understand the importance of a quarterly frosted treat meet-up, but he’ll hopefully be able to respect how much it means to you.

Be Present

As fantastic as being able to stay in constant contact with your beau is, make your best effort to set the phone down while with your friends. Don’t stalk his Facebook on your iPhone. Don’t text him every five seconds. And certainly don’t sneak off and call him to check in. What good is spending time with the girls if your mind is somewhere else the entire night? Give them the attention they deserve. (FYI: The same principle holds true for when you are hanging with your guy. Focus on him rather than burying your face in your cell.)

Come Together

You can’t be two places at once, but you can certainly hang out with more than one person at a time. Bring all of your friends and your guy’s friends together for a joint party. This way, everyone can start putting faces to names and getting to know one another better. And who knows? Maybe (with a little unsolicited help from you…) two of your friends will hit it off and become the perfect double date couple!
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Don’t Be a Complainer

Friends and boyfriends are usually there to listen when you need to vent. But constantly complaining about your beau to your girls or vice versa will only produce some negative feelings that don’t need to be circling your relationships. Remember, you’re trying to find a balance between two groups pulling you in totally different directions. But discussing the bitchy move your friend always pulls and then bailing on your guy to hang out with her won’t put you in his good graces.

So what happens when things go awry and arguments ensue? These girls share their experiences — and we tell you how to handle them.

“Once I met my boyfriend, I wanted to spend all of my time with him. Unfortunately, I began to let some of my friendships slip away. I knew I wasn't treating my friends right, but it didn't really hit me until a close friend made a direct comment about it. I mentioned over dinner that I was going to my boyfriend's apartment later that night, and she rolled her eyes and said, ‘Of course you are.’ Since then, I've made a serious commitment to see my friends more regularly. I love my boyfriend, but my friends are so important to me. I don't want to lose them!” –Amanda, NYU*
Lesson: If a friend voices her opinion — no matter how sarcastic or subtle — listen. Talk to her about the issue, and find ways to better the situation.

“My friend started dating a new guy about a month ago, and she spends all of her time with him. The problem is a lot of our friends don't even like the guy she is dating and openly show their distaste. It’s getting kind of mean. At first, I was not a fan of my friend's boyfriend, but I see how happy he makes her, and I try to stay supportive. Our other friends fight with her about ditching us for him and even gossip about what a terrible person he is behind her back! My friend says she already feels like she is being left out of things because of her boyfriend. I think the best thing that you can do for a friend who is going through a conflict like this is to be there for her.” –Annie, UCSD*
Lesson: When it’s your friend who’s got the boyfriend, treat her how you would want to be treated. Even if you hate the guy, gossiping behind her back and leaving her out of things won’t solve any problems. Sit her down, and politely explain your concerns. Wouldn’t you want the same?

“My ex-boyfriend didn’t like some of my friends. He would enjoy playing dumb mind games with them instead of respecting the fact that I was trying to work on my friendships. As hard as I tried to separate the two situations, his actions unfortunately put a temporary strain on my friendships with the people he didn't like. The ugly truth is not everyone's going to like everyone. But it should be a major red flag if your boyfriend is being immature by adding fuel to the fire and not respecting your wishes.” –Kelsey, Boston University
Lesson: It’s true that friends and boyfriends can clash every now and then, but a level of respect is still necessary.

It may be clichéd, but good things are worth fighting for. It isn’t impossible to juggle successful and healthy relationships with your friends and boyfriend at the same time— it just takes a little bit of work. We know you can do it.

Are you guilty of ditching your girls when a new guy comes into your life? Have you ever had a friend mistreat you when things got hot and heavy with her beau? Do tell!

So you’ve started going out with this wonderful new guy. He’s handsome, he’s sweet, he’s totally Prince Charming (or as much of one as you can expect from a college guy). There’s just one teensy, weensy problem. His ex is all over campus and she’s made it clear that she wants him back. One of the first things you’re inclined to do is to size her up. You might start comparing yourself to her, but that’s the last thing you should do. He’s with you now, right? That means that things didn’t work out with her. If his ex is still hung up on him, she’s probably doing the same thing you are (“What does he see in her? What does she have that I don’t?”) So the first thing you should do is stop comparing yourself to her. 

If you find that you’re constantly running into one of his exes, keeping your cool when she’s obviously still into him can be a big challenge. Well, ladies, don’t worry; we’ve got the scoop on what to do in the most common situations.

She’s in one of your classes

When you’re in the same class as one of your boyfriend’s exes, you might end up being assigned to work with her on a class project. “When I dated this one guy awhile back, I always had to work on projects with his ex,” says Alexia*, a senior from Case Western University. “It was awkward, but she was really nice. I actually felt guilty for dating him!”

While you definitely shouldn’t feel guilty for being the one who’s with him now, feeling awkward is completely normal. Jodi R. R. Smith, the president and owner of Mannersmith and author of The Etiquette Book: A Complete Guide to Modern Manners, advises maintaining your professionalism and focusing on the project or class assignment. “Take the bull by the horn,” Smith says. Your goal is to get an education, not to appease your boyfriend’s ex. 

She suggests acknowledging the awkwardness by saying something like, “I think we have two choices: either go to the professor and ask for different partners or we put our differences aside and work like crazy on this project to earn a good grade. What do you think we should do?” This lets the ex know that you’re not going to be pushed around, and the next move is up to her. 

She shows up at the same party

So you and your new guy got invited to the biggest bash of the year on campus. Everyone is there, and we mean everyone... including his ex-girlfriend. Parties tend to be the perfect setting for high-strung drama, but you don’t need to give in to the impulse to hold your man a little bit tighter just because she’s around. How you handle yourself around his ex will show him that you’re either confident or clingy, and you want to come across as confident (even if you’re seething inside). If your boyfriend is like most guys, he hates running into his ex as much as you do. 

Sean McFarland, one of our Real Live College Guys, thinks that your best move is to back away. “If my ex confronts her, [my new girlfriend] shouldn’t do anything really,” he says. “It would be a huge turnoff for me if she decided to lower herself to my ex’s level and respond. The best thing, in my opinion, would be to walk away.” Why? According to Sean, if you’re with him, you’ve already won. It’s pointless to fight over it. 

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She’s in the same clubs as you

If she shares the same interests as you do and belongs to the same on-campus clubs, you’re going to see her whenever you attend a meeting or participate in a rally. “It’s not surprising that you have similar interests as the ex; after all, you clearly both have similar tastes in men,” says Smith. Unless she’s the crazy ex-girlfriend, you can handle this situation the same way you would deal with seeing your own ex all of the time: by staying calm and collected. Does this mean he’s dating you because you’re a carbon-copy of his ex?

Nope. Just like you’re drawn to certain types of guys, your new boyfriend is drawn to certain types of girls. So what if you and his ex-girlfriend have something in common? Your fellow club members can provide the right amount of space between you and his ex to keep the conversations civil. “When attending a club meeting, do be sure to be polite and say Hello, and then go sit with your friends,” Smith advises. You might not even have to talk to the ex. 

But if you have to talk to her, discuss the things you two have in common, such as shared music tastes or shared social passions. The great thing about this situation is that you have a shared purpose, which gives you something to fall safely onto when you encounter her on a regular basis. Are her friends giving you the evil eye? Don’t pay attention to it. “Ignore any prolonged looks from her posse,” Smith suggests. “You have the guy, so there’s no need to rub it in her face.” So keep your cool and avoid getting into an all-out fight with her or her friends.

She’s in your dorm

This one might be one of the trickiest situations because you will see her all of the time. She’s also likely to know when your new boyfriend (aka her ex) are hooking up down the hall. According to Sean, the best thing you can do is get things out in the open. “If they can be mature enough to talk it out or agree to not let it come between them, that would probably be best,” he says. Find a neutral person, such as the resident assistant, to referee and work out a treaty to keep the peace as much as possible.

Of course, that’s not always going to work. If his ex-girlfriend is absolutely determined to make your life miserable, avoid flaunting the relationship in front of her. Instead of bringing him back to your dorm for lust sessions, go to his place. This respects her hurt feelings over seeing you two together, avoids drama and keeps her out of your new relationship. 

She’s your interviewer for an on-campus job

Christy*, a sophomore at Drake University, experienced this firsthand. “I applied to be a recruitment counselor for a sorority rush next fall, and I was really excited to interview for the position,” she says. It became really awkward when she realized that her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend would be the one to interview her! “Luckily, it was a group interview, so it could have been worse,” Christy explains. She didn’t get the job and still wonders if it had something to do with her status as the “new girlfriend.”

If you suspect that you didn’t get the job because she let her personal feelings get in the way, ask her. The key is to approach her in a non-threatening way and ask for feedback on your interview. Don’t accuse her of not choosing you for personal reasons. Maybe you didn’t get the job for other reasons that have nothing to do with the fact that you’re dating her ex. Of course, if she did reject you for the job based on her personal feelings, you might not be able to do anything about it. She would have to confess it, and really, do you want to work with her that much? Find an equivalent job on campus or appeal the decision to someone in a higher position. You might be able to get hired by approaching the actual supervisor and setting up an interview with them.

She’s stalking your Facebook

When you share the same social media circle, she’s going to be able to keep up-to-date on your relationship, especially if your Facebook or Google Plus posts are public or viewable by mutual friends. According to Sean, Facebook-fighting is a huge turn-off for guys. “My new lady should almost take it in stride. I’d probably think that [the Facebook stalking] was petty and stupid as well.” Are you constantly posting pictures of you and him together? Or do you feel the need the need to constantly update everyone on how your new relationship is going? 

Even if you only do these things occasionally, his ex-girlfriend is seething over every post. “Clearly, you need to update your privacy settings,” Smith says. “Next, go on a Facebook diet. Stop posting status updates and ask your friends to not tag you in pictures.” The problem with social media sites is the overflow of information. If you don’t want her snooping on your relationship, lock up your accounts to friends-only or set posts about your relationship to friends-only, even if you keep the rest of your profile public. This restricts what information she can find out about you or your relationship. 

“If she can’t find the information she’s looking for, she will get bored and move onto trolling Match.com instead of your Facebook page,” says Smith. So keep your private life private, and your new relationship won’t be intruded online by a persistent ex-girlfriend.

When you’re in a new relationship, you should be focusing on your new guy and not on his ex-girlfriend. “In all of these situations, remember to take the high road,” Smith advises. “Enjoy hanging with your new beau, If the ex is behaving badly, that reflects poorly on her, not on you.” Don’t allow an ex-girlfriend to come between the two of you if your relationship is working well. 

*Names have been changed

After a break-up it’s easy to not only feel hurt and upset, but lonely too. You’ve spent a significant amount of time with a person who is suddenly no longer in your life, either in the same way, or at all. It’s natural to want to maintain a relationship with that person – calling them, finding ways to bump into them during the day, or planning “casual” lunch dates. Sometimes, though, this is exactly the opposite of what you need.

Her Campus spoke with relationship and break-up experts Dan Lier, of AskDanandMike.com, Ellie Scarborough, of PinkKisses.com, Dr. Ish. Major, of LittleWhiteWhys.com, and Dr. D. Ivan Young, author of Break up, Don’t Break Down for tips on when it’s OK to contact him, and when you have to just let go.

Here we list the do’s and don’ts of staying friends with an ex.

Don'ts

Don't enter into a "friendship" if you still feel romantic love.
Scarborough suggests a no-contact rule for at least 90 days after the break-up. “Instead of putting your energy into trying to be friends with the person you just broke up with, put that energy into other relationships like friends and family who you might have neglected a bit during the relationship,” she says.

After 90 days have passed, take a moment to listen to your gut. Can you really be friends with him yet? Will all your past feelings come flooding back if you hang out, even on casual terms? “If something doesn’t feel right,” Scarborough says, “don’t force yourself to be friends with him just because you think it’s the ‘right’ thing to do.” Keep in mind though, that everyone has their own relationship recovery time - you may need less or more than a full 90 days.

Don’t meet for dinner, unless you have a (good!) reason for it.
Meeting for dinner is as close as you can get to an actual date, and it often feels like one if you haven’t made the date or non-date aspect clear. It can be done, though, Dr. Major says, as long as you have ground rules set first. “It’s best if you’re meeting for a specific purpose – like discussing something [other than each other!],” Dr. Major says. It’s also important to keep dinner short, he says. Don’t stay for dessert, extra wine, or coffee afterwards. Dr. Major says, usually when ex couples choose to meet up for dinner it’s their way of seeing if they want to get back together. “There’s nothing wrong with that,” Dr. Major says. “But just be honest with yourself, and about why you’re there.” Definitely don’t send mixed messages! To help keep conversations and meet-ups brief, suggest grabbing a cup of coffee or lunch instead of the more formal dinner.

Don't expect him to be happy that you’ve found a new guy.
Seeing you with someone else will highlight the fact that “you now have someone doing for you what he wasn’t able to,” Dr. Major says. “Guys are totally task-oriented,” he says. “We don’t like the idea of walking away from something that wasn’t done well.” If your ex is truly interested in staying friends, he may tolerate hearing about your new man, but it’s not something he’ll ever want to know about. Keep the new relationship conversations to a minimum. Better yet, don’t bring it up at all. “Guys have an ego,” Dr. Major says, “and it bruises easily.” Don’t force the new-hook-up conversation on him. If anything, let him bring it to you, suggests Dr. Major.

Don't do double dates with him... Ever.
According to Scarborough this is a recipe for disaster in almost every case. “If you shared intimate moments with someone, it can be very difficult to see him potentially sharing intimate moments with someone else.” Dr. Major says that what usually ends up happening is “comparison shopping” – analyzing why he’s with that new girl, and what is different about her than you. “It becomes hard to concentrate on having a good time because subconsciously you’re trying to one-up your ex’s date,” Dr. Major says. If he notices your actions and body language, this will probably make your current guy feel bad and uncomfortable too – which is exactly what you don’t want to do if you’re trying to get involved with someone new.

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Do’s

Do "move on."
Scarborough says that as harsh as it may sound, staying friends with an ex, especially right after the two of you break up, is a form of self-torture. “It’s incredibly rare that two people who’ve had a romantic relationship can smoothly transition into friends without someone feeling more than the other and prolonging the pain of the break-up.” The desire to stay friends with your ex is natural, Scarborough says. You’ve shared so much and they’ve been such a huge part of your life that it’s often hard to imagine life without them. “But that’s just it,” she says, “You have to imagine life without them and start living your life without your ex.”

Dr. D. Ivan Young suggests understanding that most relationships end because they’ve simply run their course. “It’s best that when the season is up, let it go.” If you’re hanging on to the past, you won’t be ready when a new opportunity or relationship presents itself.

Do give the relationship time to breathe.
If you contact each other or try to hang out as friends too soon after a break-up, your brain won’t fully realize that you’ve broken up. It’s still in the habit of dating and will naturally try to fit things back into that mold, Dr. Major says. “If your mind hasn’t fully realized a break-up has happened then your heart certainly doesn’t understand yet.” Take Scarborough’s 90-day rule here, and keep your distance for a while. This means no Facebook stalking too (if at all possible)!

Do find other people to fill in that missing feeling.
Scarborough suggests having a few friends on speed dial to call every time you feel like calling your ex. Make dinner or lunch dates with your girlfriends to help keep you from missing the meals and outings you used to plan with him. “Put people in place to help you through the transition and help you re-examine your priorities,” Scarborough says.

Do realize he needs time to heal as well – probably even more time than you.
For guys, this healing process is even longer. “Anatomically, guys don’t have as direct access to the area of their brains that process deep emotions – like the hurt and anger of a break-up,” Dr. Major says. The average time a guy needs to heal after a break-up is around 4 to 6 months, sometimes even longer. You know you need breathing room after a break-up, but it may actually be more important for him.

Do think about who you are without that person.
“A break-up is a major turning point in your life,” Scarborough says. “Recognize it as one and get excited about the chance to redefine who you want to be next.” Dr. Young says that even bad or failed relationships are good for you. “They teach you what you don't want, and who you aren’t.”

Do “Be polite. Be Succinct. Be gone.”
This is advice Scarborough gives her clients on Pink Kisses. This is especially important if you’re in classes together, share mutual friends, or move in the same social circles. Show that you’re still a kind person and you don’t want to appear bitter or sour towards him; after all the two of you did share intimate moments at one point. Be courteous in that you can handle a normal, brief, casual conversation with him – don’t bring up new relationships or hook-ups. Simply end the conversation with a “good to see you” and polite wave, and then head out.

A few more Do’s and Don’ts from Dan Lier:

“Don't think that he still [probably] doesn't want to sleep with you if you just get together to talk.” This is Dr. Major’s point in effect – your ex will want to try to fix what he feels he failed at. The best way to do that (in his eyes): sleep with you again. Again, every situation and break-up is different, but this is definitely something to keep in mind.

“Don't date his best friends... there are enough other people out there (UNLESS, it just happens to be The One).” Sometimes it just happens that there was someone else close to him that was meant for you. Most of the time though, this isn’t the case. Don’t use his friends as a way to stay hanging around him.

“Don't get upset if your ex has a new connection and you don't.” Everyone takes their own time to heal. Perhaps he’s in this new relationship as a way of getting over you (rebound, anyone?). Realize what may be best for you is spending time with yourself and getting to know what you want differently in your next relationship.

“Do keep a positive attitude if you see your ex at a function with someone else.” This is a good time to take Scarborough’s advice as well– Be polite. Be succinct. Be gone.

“Do realize that it will never be the same... if you broke up, there's probably a good reason for that.” There’s no reason to push “fixing” things, or trying to repair the break-up. Although it may not feel that way, there are other good-looking, cute, funny, smart, etc. guys out there. Don’t waste time dwelling on one that didn’t work out.

There’s truth to the song “breaking up is hard to do.” There are ways to get through it, though. Take these do’s and don’ts into account the next time you (or a friend) goes through a break-up. You’ll find yourself happy and back in the game in no time.

As the semester winds down and the sun finally begins to shine, we can’t help but notice that love is in the air. It may not have hit you yet, but you can’t deny that you’ve noticed a lot more handholding and not-so-private displays of affection on campus. You could be next! The end of the semester is the best time to enjoy your DFMO, fling, FWB, or knight in shining armor. Here’s why:

1. You were getting sick of winter. Who wants to make snow angels when you can have water-gun wars instead?

2. Spring fever is catching, and suddenly everyone is more excited about everything from sunny days to soft-serve to Saturday night make-out seshes.

3. Going out for ice cream is a classic first date, and it just felt wrong trekking out for a cone clad in snow boots and mittens.

4. He might no longer have an excuse to give you his coat when you’re cold, but he can still show his chivalry by letting you cut him in line for the ice cream truck.

5. He might even buy you that ice cream, which would be convenient given the sorry state of your bank account after a semester of late-night Chinese food orders and fro-yo excursions.

6. Walks in the park may be clichéd, but they’re a heck of a lot more romantic than snowed-in dinner dates in the dining hall.

7. Walks in the park are also much more private than dining hall dates. Expect handholding and even, if you’re lucky, kissing. It just didn’t feel right sucking face surrounded by one hundred of your classmates and their lunches, anyway.

8. Everyone likes a girl who can throw a Frisbee, and you just caught the attention of every male on the quad with your champion skills.

9. Guys have finally ditched their flannels for T-shirts, and now you remember why you nominated them as Campus Cuties in the first place.

10. Singing in the car with the windows down shows off your Aretha Franklin-esque pipes, and the boys are bound to notice. Prepare for some serious R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

11. Even if your voice is more like Rebecca Black’s, you’ll definitely still turn some heads. There’s no such thing as bad publicity, right?

12. There’s nothing more feminine than flowers in your hair. If it worked for the Love Generation, it’ll work for you, too.

13. The only thing that beats flowers in your hair is flowers in your vase... brought to you by a beautiful boy. With springtime on his mind, he might finally take the time to stop by the florist.

14. Sundress Day 2013 is on the horizon (or has already arrived for you lucky collegiettes outside of the Northeast), and nothing feels better than that first day of freedom from jeans.

15. Sundress Day also happens to be many guys’ favorite day of spring, which means they’ll be in good spirits. He won’t be likely to say no to anything, least of all, going on a date with you.

16. When you’re not wearing a sundress, you’re rocking your Daisy Dukes and your Ray-Bans – and you’ve never looked better.

17. Speaking of which, it’s finally shorts and skirt season: the time to show off that fresh warm-weather bod you worked so hard for. What Freshman 15?

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18. April showers bring May flowers, and not a minute too soon: the rain was doing something awful to your hair, and there’s nothing “come hither” about a bad case of the frizzies.

19. You just schooled everyone on the volleyball court, including that cutie from your econ class. Suggest a private lesson.

20. End-of-semester barbecues are the best way to meet new boys. Burgers, beverages, sunshine, and party tunes? What’s not to like?

21. Music festival season is upon us! Coachella may have passed, but there’s still time to stumble upon your very own indie sweetheart at Sasquatch!, Bonnaroo, Lollapalooza, and many others.

22. Now that Game of Thrones is gracing our televisions with its presence once again, you and your guy can have a quality date night that both of you will enjoy.

23. It just so happens that Game of Thrones’ John Snow is very sexy and a fictitious romance is still a romance, right? Right.

24. Nothing’s better than lying in the sun for a while with your main man next to you on the grass. Literally nothing.

25. Now that you no longer have to consider the awkward in-class encounter with a hook-up (since classes will soon be over), you’re free to act on any and all secret crushes you’ve been harboring this semester.

26. With summer around the corner, some couples are bound to be calling it quits, be it over distance, graduation, or any other obstacle. Silver lining: now there are that many more cuties on the market for you to charm!

27. You’re also moving on. The end of the semester means saying goodbye to all of your least favorite ex-hook-ups from classes and hello to all of the toned, tan man candy now wandering the campus. Here’s hoping they’ll be more mature. 

28. Soon you’ll be moving to a new city for your internship, which means you’ll be entering a whole new dating pool. Time to get noticed!

29. You might even meet someone at your internship, and while office romances can be dicey, there’s nothing wrong with chatting up a guy who actually shares your interests (for once)!

30. In the meantime, you’ve got work to do. Study dates. Lots and lots of study dates.

31. Finals week is stressful. What’s the best way to relieve that stress? Cuddle sessions.

32. With the worst of your work behind you, you can finally get some beauty sleep.

33. Sleep not only erases the dark circles under your eyes, but also makes you a cheerier person (and we all know that crabbiness doesn’t exactly inspire any crushes).

34. Now that you and your boy-toy no longer have to worry about term papers and final exams, you’re free to flirt to your heart’s content!

35. Seniors are scrambling at the end of the semester and there’s no time left for beating around the bush. You’re hot. He’s hot. Just date already.

Whether you already have a special someone by your side or you’re looking to meet new men, now’s the best time to be a beautiful collegiette! Grab a guy and enjoy the sunshine!

We’ve all been a part of moments we’d rather not remember, and that’s especially true when it comes to awkward hook-up situations. What can be worse than accidentally calling the cute guy kissing your neck by your ex’s name? Or having your roommate unexpectedly come home early and walk in on you and your guy? Here at HC, we’re committed to making sure you are prepared for anything collegiette life throws your way. So we’ve solved your most awkward moments – keep reading for the scoop!

So Awk: You Call Your Hook-up By the Wrong Name

“I had hooked up with this really attractive guy a few times, and it was always amazing,” says Kristen, a student at Pomona College. “We were right in the middle of things, and I accidentally called him by one of my guy friends’ names! It was mortifying to say the least, and he didn’t call me again after that.” If this has ever happened to you, then you know how horrible the situation can be. You’re embarrassed, he’s turned off, and you’re not sure how to move on from it. And whether you called him by a friend’s name, your ex’s, or a name you don’t even recognize (hey, it happens!), you want to fix the situation as soon as possible. Here’s how:

• Try Humor: Laugh it off, explaining how surprised you are that you said that, especially since all you can think about lately is him…
• Apologize: If he’s upset or hurt, then say you’re sorry. It was an honest mistake and it has nothing to do with how much you’re enjoying yourself with him. Let him know that and don’t bring it up ever again.
• If all else fails, pretend it didn’t happen. He’s not going to stop mid-hook-up and if he does, just look confused and pull him back toward you.

So Awk: You’d Like to Take Things to the Next Step, But You Are On Your Period (And Don’t Want to Tell Him)

This has happened to the best of us, and it’s never fun, especially since it means you have to refrain from taking things to the next level. “I started hooking up with a guy, and I really liked him so we started talking about having sex,” says Rachel, a student at the University of Missouri. “When the time came, though, I had my period! I didn’t know what to do so I super awkwardly cut things short. I’m sure he thought I just wasn’t into it.” One way to handle this situation is to make an excuse. He doesn’t need to know the details of your period woes, and you don’t have to explain yourself. All you need to do is explain that you aren’t feeling well, aren’t ready yet, are too tired, are too drunk and want to be able to remember/enjoy it, etc. There are plenty of excuses that he will appreciate and will make you feel better about having sex with him once you can.

Another way to handle this awkward moment? Be upfront with him! Guys understand that girls have periods, and sometimes honesty is a much better route to take. If you don’t play it right, an excuse might seem like you just don’t want to hook up with him. Instead, just say, “Sorry, it’s my time of the month.” He won’t press you any further, and he’ll probably try again a week later when he figures it’s over!

So Awk: You Want to Use Protection, But You Are Nervous to Bring It Up

Even though we all know to use protection when hooking up with someone, it’s not always the easiest topic to bring up with your guy. It can be awkward and uncomfortable, and it puts a pause on the hook-up for a few minutes—but it’s uber important. “It was my first time hooking up with this guy, and I think he assumed I was on birth control, but I’m not,” says Ally, a student at the University of Illinois. “I felt really weird about asking him to use protection, but finally I worked up the courage and just asked.” There really aren’t a lot of ways to approach this situation without outright asking him to use protection, but there are ways to make it less awkward. The key is to ask before your clothes are off, otherwise you may be too into it to remember to ask. Your best bet is to say, “Do you have a condom?” This shows that you want to have sex which he’ll probably be happy about – plus, he’s not looking to get you pregnant (or get an STD) either! Don’t skirt around it, just be upfront about needing to use something and don’t make it an issue – get back to what you were doing just as soon as the situation is handled - don’t apologize or ask to pay him for it because trust us, he’d rather just get back to the hook-up. And remember that you should never be having sex without using protection, regardless of any awkwardness.

So Awk: One of You (Or Both) is Really Drunk, and the Hook-up Is Super Sloppy

Let’s be real here: a lot of college hook-ups start with alcohol, and that’s okay so long as you are both sober enough to consent to the hook-up and being safe. But even when both of those things are true, drunken hook-ups aren’t always that fun. “I hooked up with this guy, and he was really drunk,” says Lauren, a student at Boston University. “It was really gross, and I just was not enjoying myself at all.” If this happens to you, and you want to end the hook-up, then say: “I had a ton of fun with you tonight, but I’m really drunk and would rather hook-up again another night. Call me?” However, if you still want to hook up that night, just not when it’s so sloppy, then take a break for a little while. Tell him you need to eat something or have to go call your friend and make sure she got home safely. Buy yourself some time! But remember, if you’re planning to leave while you’re still drunk; make sure to find a way to get home safely. Ask him to walk you home or have a friend pick you up from wherever you are.

So Awk: One of Your Roommates Comes Home and Walks In On The Two of You

So you think you have the place to yourself, and you’re enjoying a fun hook-up with a cute guy. Then suddenly you hear footsteps and your roommate calling for you. Before you can even react, she’s walking into your room. Yikes, right? While this is surely an awkward situation for you, it’s probably even more uncomfortable for your guy – he doesn’t even know her and can’t laugh about it later. The best thing to do is to cover up both of you as much as you can, politely ask her to leave (if she hasn’t already), and then apologize to the guy. If it didn’t kill the mood, then you can figure out another place to go or you can ask your roommate to leave. But if it did, then try to laugh about it (make a joke like, “Well, that was awkward!”) and see if he wants to watch a movie, grab some food, etc. and take a rain check on your hook-up. Don’t make it into too big of a deal because that will just make your guy feel worse. Laugh about it and move on!

So Awk: You Blurt Out You Love Him

In the heat of the moment, it’s possible to say almost anything and not even realize what’s coming out of your mouth until it’s too late. “I had literally met this guy that same night, and we went back to his house to hook up,” says Briana, a student at the University of Colorado-Boulder. “All of a sudden, in the middle of the hook-up, I told him I loved him! I have no idea why, and I honestly wanted to die.” Okay sure, telling a guy you love him in the middle of hooking up is definitely awkward, but there are ways to salvage the night. First things first, do not address what you said right after you said it – finish your hook-up before you talk about it. Then, feed his ego a bit to take away from the seriousness of your comment by saying something like, “Wow. I can’t believe I was so into our hook-up that I told you I loved you!” Then laugh at how ridiculous it is that you could love him already (even if you actually do – who knows!). And if he seems really freaked out by it, then just say, “Hey, just so we’re clear, everything I say in the heat of the moment is exaggerated…” then smile. He’ll understand.

Awkward moments are just a part of hooking up and if you don’t feel ready to handle them, then there’s no shame in waiting until you are. And while it may seem like the end of the world when any of these things happen to you, you can rest easy knowing that your hook-up buddy doesn’t care. In fact, he’s probably more worried about what you’re thinking of him and if you’re going to let him continue to make out with you. Plus, if he can’t handle a little awkwardness without being a jerk, then he probably isn’t someone you want to be hooking up with! All you can really do is act like the confident collegiette you are – own the moment, and it’ll soon become just a faded memory (or at least one to laugh about at brunch).
 

Broke from calling late night love lines for advice? Looking for the lowdown on the hoedown when it comes to college guys? Real Live College Guy Sean is here to help you pick apart the mind of the average college guy. Whether it’s avoiding that awkward weekend hook-up, or full-on relationship advice, Sean is here to save the day!

Is it really such a big deal who texts who first? I stress so much when a guy I have been talking to doesn't text me first, but he always answers me right away when I text first. Guys always say they like when girls text them first... but sometimes that makes us feel creepy! Shouldn't there be an in between?! If he doesn't have to text first every time... Neither should I, right? – Confused at Carlson

You want to text him first? That’s so weird. Pretty soon you’ll be looking to analyze his texts, right? This is what’s killing chivalry.

I’m completely kidding. It’s not weird at all. So let’s dive into it.

First, let me say that I’ve hated rules like this for far too long. At some point in time, someone was probably powering through hour 10 of a chick-flick marathon and came to the conclusion that women must wait for men to text them first. This “rule” is dumb and whoever made it up should have their thumbs cut off so they cannot text anyone (kidding). But seriously, all this rule has done is created unwanted and unnecessary anxiety. This rule of dating is obsolete.

Just as you mentioned, when women text guys, we generally respond immediately, right? This is because we absolutely love this stuff. Most of the time, we’re unsure of your interest level in us. Also it’s much easier for us to look creepy than it is for the woman to look creepy. So, there is a reason to why we respond almost immediately. Rather than us being the ones to initiate contact and stress about when you’ll answer, you’ve shown us that you’re interested in us. Quite frankly, this is one of the most awesome feelings in the world.

Let me show you what I mean. For example, there have been several instances where I’d meet someone new but wasn’t sure exactly how to get the ball rolling. It would be obvious that I was interested, but for some reason, she would be harder to read. In cases like this, I think it’s almost better if the woman texts first.

So you think that it will come off as a bit desperate? Trust me, it won’t. It won’t sound creepy either. There really is no harm in shooting him a text every once in a while to ask what he’s up to. The only thing to think about is if you’re always the one to initiate the conversation. Since the guys answer almost immediately as you said, I’d imagine that it isn’t that they’re not interested in you. It sounds more like they may simply be intimidated or are unsure of how you feel. Perhaps try opening up a bit more. If you’re clearer of your affection, it won’t be long until they’ll be initiating the texts. 

Need Dr. Drew relationship advice but don’t have the sensationalistic drama to warrant TV time? Unfortunately, Real Live College Guy Ryan isn’t a reality show therapist. However, he can provide the lowdown on everything you’ve ever wanted to know about college males: how they think, act, speak and genuinely interact with the women in their lives.

The guy I just started dating is much more sexually experienced than I am. He doesn't make a big deal of it, but it makes me feel very nervous and self-conscious. How can I talk about this with him? - Uneasy at UF

For starters, don’t position the eventual conversation like a teaching moment—even if it is. You both consciously (or subconsciously) realize there’s a difference in performance, so be cool about it. If he’s stuck around this long, it probably isn’t something to freak out about.

However, ask him about his preferences and what really gets him going. This question will accomplish a few things: it’ll show that you want to perform well when hooking up and it will also allow you to pick up a few pointers. Key in on his favorite positions, what his turn-offs are and techniques that arouse him. Does he prefer you on top or on the bottom? Should you move a particular way? There are countless discussion points you could ask him, but that’s up to you. Obviously, I know nothing of your sex life outside of this question.

But forming your questions as if you’re the student and he’s the teacher brings upon a power dynamic that’s, well, sort of degrading (unless you two like teacher/student role-playing. In that case, run with it). You sit through enough lectures during the day, so make your inquiry educational but also coy. Bringing it up after hooking ups is usually the best time, unless you also enjoy open sex conversations in public. If that’s also the case, run with it.

Full Name: Joseph Charles Delinks
Year: 5th year senior
Major: Environmental Studies with a Biology Minor
Hometown: Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Why did you come to UCF?
I came to UCF to play for the Men’s Tennis Team. I wanted to go to school somewhere in the south to escape the cold.

How long have you played tennis?
I started playing when I was five years old. I finished my four years of collegiate tennis this past spring.

Three words to describe yourself?
I would say I’m energetic, adventurous and kind-hearted. 

What are you most passionate about?
I am most passionate about fishing and hunting. I live for offshore fishing and the adventures that come with it.

What do you find most attractive in a girl?
I find athleticism, a good sense of humor and classiness to be the most attractive qualities in a girl.

Celebrity crush?
Anne Hathaway in the latest Batman movie.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
I see myself hopefully graduating veterinary school and practicing medicine in a city I’ve never lived in before.

What’s your dream job?
My dream job would be to be a fighter pilot or an astronaut. Everyday would be a new adventure. I’d love to get my recreational pilot license someday.

What would be your ideal day?
That’s a tough one. If I had to choose, I’d love to spend the day in New Zealand with my friends and family exploring the wilderness.

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
“Strength and honor” - Maximus Aurelius

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Name: Tommy Vandenberg
Hometown: Mamaroneck, NY
Major: MechE & BME
Year: 2015
Relationship Status: Single

Interests: Running, Shatz and sleeping
Goals: To become famous and an Olympic runner and astronaut 
Favorite Thing about CMU: Eamon Cullinane
Favorite Place to Go on a Date: A walk through Shenly Park

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If you live in Gaige or have stopped by the Info Desk to ask a question lately, you've probably spotted our newest Campus Cutie already. Regardless, let's get to know one of the nicest fraternity guys you'll meet at the Ville...

Name: Mack Carr
Age: 19
Relationship Status: Single and ready to mingle.
Hometown: Maytown, PA
Year: Sophomore
Major/Minor: Economics

Campus activities: Vice President of Lambda Chi Alpha, SMC Info Desk Employee, RA in Gaige Hall

Other hobbies:  Watching the sunrise, taking long walks on the beach, drinking pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Dream job: Being a famous actor/astronaut/MLB Player/model/rock star.

Biggest fear: My mother when she is angry.

Any secret talents? Master at the art of Whiffle ball.

What's the best present you've ever received? My guitar, Sandy.

Favorite movie: Stepbrothers

What's your favorite thing to do at MU? Bro hard.

Another quirky fact about yourself: I'm Taylor Swift's number one fan, can play almost all of her songs on guitar and am her future husband.

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Name:Ben Eden
Year: Sophomore ('14)
Major: History and Econ
Hometown: Culpeper, Virginia

Activities: AU Players, Sigma Phi Epsilon, work at Barbour

Favorite Website: Reddit.com

Favorite iPhone App: E-mail app

Guilty Pleasure TV Show: True Blood

Favorite Place to get Coffee: The Dav

3 Things I couldn’t live without: My phone, my wallet and my keys

Summer Plans: LSAT classes, online AU class, road tripping, music festivals – Bonaroo, living in DC

Ideal date: Low-key, Georgetown area

Fav vending machine snack: Paybar

Childhood dream job: Astronaut

Mountains or beach: Mountains

Proudest moment of your life: Being accepted to college

Last book you read: Fairness and Freedom: A History of Two Open Societies: New Zealand and the United States

Studying abroad? New Zealand and economic internship there

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You may know him around campus as Austin’s little brother, but this week's campus cutie has a standout personality of his own, coming to Eckerd all the way from HOTLANTA, Georgia. This friendly and eager freshman (he's the new senator for Beta) is an early riser, an exercise fanatic and has one heck of a perfect first date plan.

Name: Alek Matthiessen
Hometown: Germany
Graduation year: 2016
Relationship status: SINGLE
Major: Biochemistry

Three words to describe yourself: Healthy, ambitious and amiable.

Interests and hobbies: Exercise, history, playing the guitar, listening to music, reading and waking early.

 Dream job: To be an astronaut and pro soccer player on the side--when not in space.

What do you look for in a girl? A girl who has ambition, wears no makeup and is also outgoing.

Least favorite quality in a girl: Being fake.

What would be your perfect date? Picking up the girl in a Mercedes SLR 500 with a very nice preplanned dinner table in a park by a lake, drinking wine (if 21 of course) with a violin player and time to talk after.

What is the one thing you cannot live without? Exercise!

Favorite pick-up line: I don't use pick up lines.

Celeb crush: Alessandra Ambrosio, the Brazilian super model, or Emma Watson.

What would you do with $1 million?: INVEST. (He’s a smart one ladies!)

Best Eckerd Experience so far?: Watching the sunset at St. Pete beach.

Boxers or briefs: Neither. I don’t wear underwear. It’s what I’m known for.

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Name:Dusty Biron

Hometown: I currently live in Lancaster, PA, but counting Maine I've lived in 5 states so that's a complicated question for me. 

When you were little what did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be an astronaut. 

Which dining hall do you prefer and why?
Thorne, I like the display section at dinner and the atmosphere is more fun.

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Looking for that Mr. Right? Let me introduce you to Kyle Shannon, a sophomore at CU and native Coloradian. A huge sports fan and an exceptional athlete himself, Kyle ran for the CU track team last year. His grandpa is the most important role model in his life and he openly admits to being a mama’s boy. Kyle also said enjoys hip-hop and techno and declared himself a music junkie.  If you’re thinking what I’m thinking…why is this guy still single?
 
Name: Kyle Shannon
Hometown: Wheat Ridge, CO
Major: Aerospace Engineering

Dream Job:  Astronaut
Favorite thing about Boulder: The girls and the Flatirons
Favorite college memory so far:  Spring Break '11 - road trip through Cali!
What do you do during your free time?  DANCE parties, SPORTS, hang out with friends
Do you belong to any organizations/clubs?  CUSEDS executive board member (CU Students for the Exploration and Development of Space)
Ideal date: Dinner date then some star-gazing
If you could describe yourself in one word what would it be?  Motivated
Favorite quote:  "The brave do not live forever but the cautious do not live at all."
Interesting/Weird Fact: I’ve been to Mexico 6 times

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Name: (Dane) Perry Nickerson
Year: Junior
School: CC
Major: Political Science
Hometown: Portland, Oregon
Relationship Status: Single

On-Campus Activities: Greek Life (SigEp), Rugby, Columbia University Financial Group

Off-campus activities: Holister model

Pet-Peeves: People chewing with their mouths open.

Dream Job: Starting and owning my own record label or being an astronaut

If you were stuck on a deserted island, you would need: My iPod, some running shoes, and my soulmate.

Every guys needs these three things: a V-neck t-shirt, some self-confidence, and some Abercrombie & Fitch Fierce cologne.

Your perfect date in 7 words or less: Looking at the stars with Blake Lively

Favorite off-campus location: The American Museum of Natural History

Spirit Animal: Penguin

Dream wife: Blake Lively, obviously.

One thing you want to do before graduating: Meet and have a conversation with President Bollinger.

Top three albums/songs of all time:
1) Show Me Love (Safari Mix) - Robin S.
2) Room for Squares - John Mayer
3) Love Sweet Sound (Mark Night and Funkagenda's A.H.B. Mix) - Groove Armada

If you could have a super power what would it be and why: The ability to fly; I've always been enamored by flight, and have always loved flying. It's a dream of mine to get my pilot's license some day.

If you could invite anyone to dinner, you would ask: I'd ask one of the framers of our original constitution, maybe George Washington or Alexander Hamilton. I've always wondered what they would think about what America has become in relation to what they perceived it would become when they were first writing the Constitution.

HamDel decides to name a sandwich after you (what's it called and what's in it): It's called the 'Dirty Dane.' It has pastrami, swiss cheese, bacon and mayonaisse. That's it. Super healthy :)

Broke from calling late night love lines for advice? Looking for the lowdown on the hoedown when it comes to college guys? Real Live College Guy Sean is here to help you pick apart the mind of the average college guy. Whether it’s avoiding that awkward weekend hook-up, or full-on relationship advice, Sean is here to save the day!

So I've been hanging out with this one guy almost every weekend and some random days in between for almost two months. We haven't had sex yet so I'm pretty sure he's not in it for that and whenever I see him he seems really into me (talking for hours and kissing me goodbye). But I never see him during the week because he's always ”busy” with schoolwork. We talk about making plans to hang out during the week, but he never follows through with them and hasn't texted me first since the beginning. But I occasionally bump into him when I'm hanging out with my other/our mutual friends and it's always after he's been MIA. Our mutual friends tell me he really likes me and that he's just really studious, but sometimes I'm not so sure. I can understand being busy but if he really wanted to get to know me and see me, wouldn't he find the time to? What do you do with a guy who's into you but always puts his work before you? – Wondering at WashU

Wondering,

This is one of those scenarios that could have like ten thousand reasons why he’s being flaky when it comes to making plans. Maybe he’s super loaded up with classes this semester. Maybe he’s just a flirt and doesn’t have any real time for a relationship. Maybe he’s a secret member of Fight Club and it’s been taking up a lot of his time lately (I also just broke the first rule of Fight Club).

Whatever the reason, he sucks at making plans and keeping them right? To you, he may just seem like he’s always busy and can’t get the timing right. But to me, he’s giving off the vibe of a flake. No matter when you guys want to hang out, he conveniently has some big project due, right? Well he’s a dude and sometimes, these excuses are all that we can think of at the time. We’re not always smart.

Remember this: any guy who wants to make time to see you, will. I don’t care if he needs to turn in a thesis the next morning and is just starting, if he wanted to see you, he would. Yes, there is a slight chance that he is genuinely busy all the time. I have a friend in architecture and I rarely see her. However, in all the time you’ve been flirting, he’s bailed on you almost every time right? Even if he’s super busy, he’d make time.

So why is he doing this you may ask? I’d guess that he isn’t sure how he feels about you. Even after two months of flirting, some guys still don’t know. 

If he’s not sure how to feel about you, then it’s time to take things into your own hands. Sit him down and ask him what’s up. I don’t care if you have to have the conversation in the middle of a lecture hall full of students. You at least owe it to yourself to find out what he’s looking for. This isn’t to define the relationship necessarily, however, it is to figure out what his deal is. If he can’t really make time for you now, what’s that to change if you guys began dating? I suspect that he’s just a flaky guy when it comes to making plans and may even be leading you on a bit. However, it’s hard to make that bold of a judgment based on what I’ve heard here. Sit him down and find out what his deal is. 

Photo Credit:
Guy Studying

Need Dr. Drew relationship advice but don’t have the sensationalistic drama to warrant TV time? Unfortunately, Real Live College Guy Ryan isn’t a reality show therapist. However, he can provide the lowdown on everything you’ve ever wanted to know about college males: how they think, act, speak and genuinely interact with the women in their lives.

I'm graduating and would love to talk to my on-again-off-again boyfriend of four years one last time before we both enter the real world (and move to different coasts). The last time we spoke, he told me that it hurts too much to talk to me and asked me not to contact him. That was about six months ago. Is it inappropriate to say "I'd love to see you before we graduate. Can we get coffee?"- Looking for Closure at Lehigh

Nah, of course it isn’t inappropriate. Depending on what sort of closure you’re looking for, it’d actually be great. Although his definition of closure is wallowing in some sort of Edgar Allan Poe graveyard of memories and woe, yours—seeing him one last time—is actually reasonable.

This isn’t to say that he’ll actually respond. If he’s still in some Golem-esque cave, then he might not come out for coffee. But it’s worth the try. Keep your reaching out to a text. Make it short, sweet and simple and just say you’d like to meet for coffee.

However, don’t say that you’d like to see him “one last time” or something similar. If he’s going to even consider meeting you, qualifying your rendezvous as a last-time venture will only scare him more. Just say that you’d like to see him and would enjoy if he accompanied you for a cup of Joe (whether it’s your morning injection or an afternoon pick-me-up doesn’t really matter).
 

 Need Dr. Drew relationship advice but don’t have the sensationalistic drama to warrant TV time? Unfortunately, Real Live College Guy Ryan isn’t a reality show therapist. However, he can provide the lowdown on everything you’ve ever wanted to know about college males: how they think, act, speak and genuinely interact with the women in their lives.
 
After my ex broke up with me, we both agreed it would be best if we didn't speak for a while. It's been about eight months now, and I definitely feel ready to talk to him. I'd love to be his friend again, but I'm not sure how to approach him without giving off vibes that I want him back.— Over It at Oberlin

As I write this column, it’s Easter Sunday. Thus, the idea of things rising again (your friendship with your ex; that Jesus Christ guy) is salient. Because of Her Campus’s diverse readership, I won’t use the story of Jesus’s resurrection to help you approach your ex (the two things are only loosely correlated), but let’s give your dormant friendship an electric shock.
 
To prevent thrown vibes, remain casual and non-suggestive. Send him a Facebook message or a quick text to catch up or, better yet, try to strike up small talk if you see him in person.
 
But keep it to small talk. Sure, you feel confident enough to start a friendship again and you might have even missed him, but don’t show your hand. Keep all conversation informal and non-suggestive, and hold off on the eyelash batting, arm touching and space invading.
 
Build the friendship from there. If you hang out (for whatever reason), make sure you’re in a group or at a random, large party. Any time you intimate getting together with few or no friends, well, it’s going to suggest a date or something more.
 
He might infer a certain vibe from any interaction, but that shouldn’t be a concern. After all, you haven’t spoken for eight months. It’s hard to imagine a spark when there hasn’t been one for a while.